Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Adventures

Started by Mako64 September 23rd, 2007 7:46 AM
  • 3227 views
  • 19 replies
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
To all fans of Mystery Dungeon, my friends, and everyone on this website, I dedicate this fic to.

Enjoy!

Pokemon
Mystery Dungeon Adventures

Chapter 1: The unexpected arrival

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” I whispered.
“You never think anything is a good Idea.” Joey replied.
“Would you two shut it, we don’t know when Mr. Drano is coming back.” Mira hissed at us.
“Yeah, Jake.” Joey whispered to me. I ignored him.

Mr. Drano was an old man who lived on our block. My friends, Joey and Mira, decided to put antifreeze in Mr. Drano’s blue watering pail.
“When the old man waters his garden, he won’t realize what’s happened before its too late!” Joey had claimed.
I tried to argue with them but they were already racing to the auto store.
We watched Mr. Drano fill his pail with water. Mira and Joey were whispering to each other about how they were going to get the man away from the pail when suddenly he said,
“That’s right, I left that bag of weeds in the front yard.”
He walked off to tend to his task.
“Now’s our chance!” Mira whispered to us.
We climbed the fence and dashed to the blue pail.

Now here we are, dumping some water out of a pail and trying to carefully lift a heavy bottle of antifreeze.
“This is going to be hilarious!” Joey said as the clear liquid chugged into the pail.
“What are you whipper snappers doing?!” A voice cried from behind us.
We all twirled around at the same time. Standing two feet away from us, with a furious look on his face, was Mr. Drano.
“Don’t you move a muscle!” The old man started towards us.
“Run!” I yelled.
We took off, accidentally knocking over the pail and bottle. Mr. Drano limped after us. We ran through the driveway leaving Mr. Drano in the dust.

“Whew!” Joey panted when we were two blocks away from Mr. Drano’s house.
“I knew that we shouldn’t have-” My words were cut short by the sound of a rumbling engine.
Mr. Drano was in his old automobile, speeding towards us.
“I’ll get you kids!” He screamed at us.”
Nobody needed to be told to run. My friends and I took off once more, faster than ever.
“I told you this was a bad idea!” I yelled to Joey.
“Oh, shut up and run!” He yelled back.
We didn’t know were to run, we were just moving to get away from this crazy man.

We dashed across the street just making the time before the red light. Cars honked and screeched when Mr. Drano sped through the traffic, so determined to get us.
“That old man must drink like twenty bottles of Red bull a day!” Mira exclaimed.

I don’t know how long we ran, but the next thing I knew we were passing the town park, with the old man still on our tail.
“Head for the park!” I yelled to Mira and Joey.
They didn’t need to be told twice. We raced trough the nearest entrance into the park. Joey led the way up a hill into a large forest. I didn’t know if he knew where he was going but I followed him anyway. We ran trough the forest, light slowly faded, making it very hard to see. What seemed to be an eternity, we slowly stopped.
“W-we lost him.” I panted.
“Yeah,” Mira agreed. “But now we’re lost!” She shouted into the forest.
“Who’s the bozo that got us in this mess?” Joey demanded.
“Take a good guess.” Mira and I said at the same time.

We wondered around practically in circles.
“Say guys,” I said after passing a tree for about the hundredth time. “Maybe we should camp here for the night.”
“You’re right, we’re getting nowhere.” Mira agreed.
“You’re just saying that because you girls get all the comfort.” Joey joked.
“Just shut up and help get some wood.” I snapped.
“Humph. You always take her side Jake.” Joey muttered.

It took us about two minutes to collect enough for a descent fire. Joey and I tried to get one started but we couldn’t get the wood hot enough. We were about to give up when Mira crouched in front of us and got it started in one try. (Joey claims she rigged the wood)

The three of us gathered a large pile of leaves and made one large mound (bed) and two medium mounds. Mira had insisted that we made her mound first. For awhile, we did nothing but warm ourselves by the fire and check to see if anything unwanted was in our mounds.
“We are going to be in so much trouble.” I said at last.
“Don’t remind us.” Joey grumbled. He turned around on his mound went to sleep.
“Well, I guess I’ll turn in for the night too.” Mira said. “Good night Jake.”
“Good night Mira.” I said.
She fell asleep too.
I figured I’d be better off joining them in slumber right now. I grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it at the base of the fire. It went out in a flash.
I got back on top of my mound and started to drift off into a deep sleep.

At first my dream was nothing but comforting darkness. It was like I was just floating in a giant, thick, extra cozy blanket.
Then I heard voices, they sounded so far away that I could barely make them out.

Suddenly, there was a great blinding flash. I was no longer surrounded by darkness or comfort. I felt nothing and was surrounded by strange, wavy colors. Out of nowhere, I heard a voice.

“Hello!” It said.
“Yah!” I cried out.
The voice giggled, like a girl.
“Don’t be afraid Jake, I’m here to help you!” It said.
“H-how are you going to help me?” I nervously asked.
“I just want to ask you a few questions.” It said.
“Ok…” I said calmly. “Fire away.”
~~

“Ah…” I said yawning. I felt energized after some rest.
I reached up to scratch my face. My hand felt very comfortable and felt real good against my face.

Wait a minute.

My hand felt scratchy and furry. My eyes opened in an instant. What I was scratching my face with wasn’t a hand. It was a furry, yellow paw!
I leaped to my feet and checked myself all over. I was covered in yellow fur. I felt my head, I didn’t have oval ears on the sides of my head, I had tall, pointy ears at the top of my head! When I thought things couldn’t get worse, I felt something move behind me. I slowly turned my head around. To my horror, I had a lightning bolt shaped tail sticking just above my rumpus.
“What am I?” I shouted.
I raced to a river and peered at the water. I my reflection, I wasn’t a human anymore, I was a Pikachu!
I staggered back, trying to calm down and make sense of this when I heard a horrible scream.


To be continued…
Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Hmm, your average mystery fic. Why Pikachu? Why always Pikachu? So cliche! Lets see if this can get more original as the story progresses on. Other than that, you've got a pretty interesting tale going on. But I always thought that Pikachu is impish.
How do I get to be impish on the game?
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
Seen August 3rd, 2010
Posted May 26th, 2008
375 posts
15.9 Years
On the event of these matters, I have decided, that now that my PMD fanfic is finito, I see no reason why someone else can continue another PMD story. I only ask this:

Charmander & Bulbasaur are forbidden as partners. (So Bulbasaur can't have the bird phobia and Charmander can't have the father tie-in).

The dialouge is your own writing, not almost entirely from the game, which mine sort of is.

Add some unique twists. Like does a recruited Pokemon become a vital member? (Ex: Aron, Oddish, etc.)

With that said, keep writing, Mako, and do your best in everything you do!

Incinermyn

The Abomination Lives!!!

Age 37
Male
Wisconsin, USA
Seen July 29th, 2018
Posted May 21st, 2016
646 posts
15.8 Years
This...is savagely below average. First off, you are not describing much of anything, Mako64. I mean, you should revise this so we can actually see what your characters, setting, etc. look like. Also, dialog shouldn't come until after the characters have been established.
Seen August 3rd, 2010
Posted May 26th, 2008
375 posts
15.9 Years
Mako....where are you? We're ready to se Chapter 2.
JB IZ THE OVERLORD!

Here's the link to my PMD fanfic!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=97759

...and its short story spin-off!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=107847
And...the sequel's beginning!
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3435238#post3435238




Name: Baby Charmander
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
>.> It's been five days since he posted the first chapter. Give him time to write the story.

And I apologize, Mako, for diverging your thread into a small soap box for me to rant on.

jb0000612, no one needs your written consent to write a PMD fic. Anyone can write whatever they want to. If they want to write a PMD fic, there's no need for you to stop them. Mako can also use a Bulbasaur or a Charmander in his fic if he wants to. The only time you can stop someone from writing a fic is if they completely copy your story and claim it as their own. But you can't review a person's PMD fic and pretty much only say "I wrote a PMD fic, and since mine is finished, I guess you can write yours."

Anyone can write whatever they want to.

-

Onto the review.

Mako, your main grammar problem seems to be dialogue. I wrote an in-depth guide to writing dialogue correctly, and it can be found by clicking this link.

That's actually it for grammar, which is what I focus on for the first few chapters. I wait for the story to progress before judging the plot.

I do have to agree that you do need more description. Take some time to describe more of the setting. Where the story takes place sets the mood for the story. Notice how the dark scary stories take place in a dark scary place? Describing the setting can make your readers feel for your story. Like describe the calm of the forest Jake wakes up in, and the reader will feel calm.

Give a read through of the Writing Guide v1.0.

Don't worry about improving on everything all at once. Just take your time writing to make the story the best that you can.

Avatar credit: Fairy
Seen August 3rd, 2010
Posted May 26th, 2008
375 posts
15.9 Years
Ok...sorry, Hanako. I guess you're right. I mean, the pMD fics are always unique ones. PMD isn't all my property, and I want others to know that. It's never a good feeling to be writng something based on a popular topic and think they're plagarists when they're really not.

That put aside, keep up the good work Mako! JB out.
JB IZ THE OVERLORD!

Here's the link to my PMD fanfic!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=97759

...and its short story spin-off!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=107847
And...the sequel's beginning!
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3435238#post3435238




Name: Baby Charmander
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
Age 29
Male
UK
Seen March 26th, 2011
Posted November 1st, 2010
348 posts
15.9 Years
Well, for a start, his story is nothing like yours yet, if I recall. And PMD isn't yours at all - that's like saying no-one is allowed to write about Pokemon in general, because someone already did. :(

With that in the open, it sounds like a good story, but it would be better without the Pikachu - is it too late to change it to a different Pokemon?
Platinum FC - 0432 3665 4474[Name - Drew]
HeartGold FC - 5199 7801 6179[Name - Drew]

Platinum Team:
Sceptile/Blaziken/Swampert/Swellow/Gardevoir/Flygon
HeartGold Team:
Meganium/Ampharos/Pupitar/Typhlosion/Feraligatr/Scizor
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
You've may have heard, my internet was down. When it was back up, the website was having problems. Everything is back up now!

Pokemon
Mystery Dungeon Adventures

Chapter 2: Team Super Poke!



I as soon as I heard that scream, I recognized the voice immediately; Mira!
I dashed to scene, pushing through the bushes. When I got a clear view; I stopped dead in my tracks.
Standing in the middle of a field, shaking in fear, was an Eevee.
Behind it a bush started rustling and out popped a Treeko.
The moment it saw us it began scream. It caught the two of us by surprise and we started to scream too.
“Aghhhhh!” We all screamed.
Suddenly I recognized the voices.
“Joey, Mira?” I asked.
They stopped screaming too.
“Mira, Jake?” The Treeko asked.
“Jake, Joey?” The Eevee asked.
We all ran up to each other.
“Are you guys ok?” Mira asked, obviously worried.
“We’re fine.” I replied.
“What the heck is going on?” Joey cried.
Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a shout.

“Help! Somebody help!”
We turned to the cry. We saw, zipping towards us, a Butterfree.
“Oh, please help me!” It cried when it came up to us.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“During an earthquake my baby Caterpie fell in a fissure; I tried to get him out but suddenly I was attacked by angry Pokemon!”
“You were jumped by Pokemon?!” Joey asked.
“Be quiet!” Mira elbowed him in the ribs.
“Don’t worry ma’am, we’ll get your baby back!” I assured it.
“We will?” Joey asked.
Mira and I glared at him.
“Let’s go!” Mira said.

Butterfree lead us to a strange place that she said they called ‘Tiny Woods.’
“I can’t go back in there.” Butterfree told us. “The Pokemon in there really battered me up.”
“That’s ok,” Mira said. “Leave this to us.”
So off we went into Tiny Woods, with Caterpie’s fate in our hands.
“Yeah right,” Joey muttered when we were out of earshot. I bet she didn’t even try to save her baby.
I opened my mouth to reply to that comment when a Wurmple, Pidgey, and a Sunkern leaped out of nowhere.
“Guess the mama wasn’t lying about Pokemon.” Joey whispered.

The Pokemon growled at us obviously wanting the strange Pokemon to go away.
Of course, weren’t leaving without Caterpie. We would have to fight the little guys. Joey must have thought the same thing.
“Ha! I’m surprised that Butterfree got whipped by brats like you!” He exclaimed.
He was doubled over in laughter when the Wurmple charged and slammed into him, making him slide two feet on his rear end.
“Argh! My butt!” Joey cried, nursing his hurt body part.
Mira looked like she was about to crack up when the Pidgey came at her.
“Mira, look out!” I cried.
Mira looked scared for a moment, but then she gathered her courage and charged at the Pidgey.
For a moment I thought I saw white energy appeared below her feet before she charged.
When the two of them clashed, Mira proved to be stronger and sent the bird flying.

I was about to cheer for her when I saw the Sunkern bounce towards me.
“Jake, heads up!” Joey cried.
I braced myself for impact. Suddenly I felt something flow out of me. I slightly opened my eyes and saw the Sunkern being zapped with a jolt of electricity. I didn’t take me long to realize that I was using Thundershock!
The Sunkern squealed in pain and leaped back.
“Wow…” I said to myself.

“Uh… hello? I could really use some help here!”
Joey had gotten back up and was sidestepping the Wurmple’s constant attacks.
Mira started to go help but the Pidgey had recovered, wanting more action.
I wondered what I could do when I remembered something.
“Joey!” I called. “Use your tail!”
Joey looked at me like I was crazy. Then his eyes widened. Realizing what I meant.
“Thanks Jake!” His called.
He got behind the Wurmple with his tail raised.
“Pound!” He cried, bringing down the tail with a great amount of force.
He scored a good hit and knocked the Wurmple onto its back.

He grinned at me with thumbs up. I was about to return the favor but Mira needed some help. The Sunkern and Pidgey were both attacking her at the same time.
“Ugh!” She cried as a double tackle sent her sliding on the ground.
Joey couldn’t help. He was too busy pounding on the Wurmple.
I leaped between Mira and the two angry Pokemon and taunted them.
“Hey you two, you want a piece of me!?”
They fell for it. I concentrated my electricity as they surged at me.
“Thundershock!” I cried.
Electricity flowed out of my cheeks and blasted into the Pidgey and Sunkern. They flew in the air and landed against a pile of dirt. A second later, the Wurmple slid next to them, completely defeated. The three of them knew that we aren’t Pokemon to mess with, so they scrambled to their feet and hurried away.

“Ha! We kicked their sorry little butts!” Joey sneered.
Mira rolled her eyes.
“Come on,” I said. “We didn’t come here to beat up Pokemon, we came here to save Caterpie.”

Now that we were accustomed to battling, we hardly had any trouble fending off Pokemon attacks. We found strange gold coins with ‘P’ on them. We also passed some sleeping Pokemon. Joey was going to wake one up but we managed to drag him away from it.

Soon we had gotten really far in the woods.
“We’ll probably be finding Caterpie soon.” I said.
“Yeah, I want to get out of this place ASA-”
Mira’s sentence was cut short when we heard the sound of a rustling bush.
“Don’t go, Joey.” I said, putting a paw and my friend’s shoulder.
“Hey! That could be a Pokemon getting ready to jump us!” He exclaimed. “We can use the element of surprise if we get it first!”
With that said he shook off my paw and ran into the bush.
Mira sighed as we stopped.
We waited and waited. Joey didn’t pop back up.
“Let’s see what mess he’s gotten into.” Mira said.
We walked over and peered through the bush.
“Oh boy.” I whispered.

Joey lay on the ground, fast asleep. Surrounding him were four piles of Exeggcute; no doubt he was a victim of Hypnosis.
“He’s in hot water.” I muttered.
Mira nodded.
“When those Exeggcute aren’t looking, we’ll run over and get Joey.” She said.
I grabbed a loose piece of bark and threw it at a bush. The noise lured the Exeggcute away from our sleeping friend.
We ran over and started to pick up Joey.
However, one pile of Exeggcute turned around to see us.
“Exeggcute!” It cried.
The Exeggcute bounced over and surrounded us.
“Don’t look in their eyes!” I called to Mira.
Slowly, the Exeggcute closed in on us, eventually forcing us to look and be affected by Hypnosis.
“Thundershock!” I cried.
I unleashed a stream of electricity and knocked a pile of Exeggcute away.
Mira closed her eyes and slammed into another pile. The Exeggcute pile tumbled like bowling pins.
The two Exeggcute piles stared at their fallen comrades, glared at us, and left.
I breathed a huge sigh. Mira and I went over to Joey; I picked him up by the arms and Mira hoisted his legs on her head. Together we carried him off trough the woods.

“He’s not waking up any time soon.” Mira said after some time.
“Yeah, he needs a wakeup call.” I agreed.
We instantly dropped him, thinking that he would wake up rubbing his back, he didn’t. We tried things like screaming in his ear at the same time, shaking his head, even tickling under his armpits. Nothing worked.
Finally I thought of a clever idea.
“Stand back.” I told Mira.
I stood over Joey, took a deep breath, and gave him an electrical shock.
“Gaaaaa!” He cried as he was being electrocuted.
When I was done Joey was awake, but he had small scratches and burnt marks all over his body.
“What did you do that for?!” He demanded.
“We had to wake you up.” I said defensively.
“That’s what you get for running off recklessly.” Mira said.
Joey folded his arms and pouted.

Slowly, more light streamed into the woods. But that wasn’t all.
We heard sobbing. The three of us ran to the sound and found what we had been looking for.
It was Caterpie. It lay on the ground crying.
“Mommy, mommy, where are you?” It whimpered.
We proudly walked up to it.
“Hey there, everything’s going to be alright.” Mira comforted it. “Your mom sent us; let’s get you back home.”
Caterpie looked at us with sparkling eyes.
With Caterpie with us, the way back strangely went by fast. No
Pokemon attacked us.

Butterfree was so delighted when it and its baby were reunited. Caterpie sobbed as its mom comforted and held it close.

When Caterpie gathered its tears, it and its mom turned to us.
“Thank you so much for saving my child.” Butterfree said.
“No problem.” I said.
Joey glanced at me, as if saying, ‘speak for yourself.’
Caterpie was staring at us, all goggle eyed.
Butterfree looked at Joey’s expression and his scratches.
“No, no! I must thank you; this may not express my gratitude but please accept.” It said.
Butterfree came to Mira and placed three odd berries in front of her.
“What are these?” Mira asked.
“Those are special berries that cure ailments.” It pointed to the berries and told us their names. “This is a Pecha berry, that’s a Rawst berry, and this is a Cheri berry.”
“Weird berries.” Joey muttered
“Say,” Caterpie said finally. “What are your names?”
We had been so busy; we forgot to tell our names.
“I’m Jake.”
“I’m Mira.”
“I’m Joey.”
“Cool…” Caterpie said with big eyes.

Uh… the little guy was cute, but I wish he wouldn’t look at us like that.

“Are you three a Rescue team?” Butterfree asked us.
“What’s a rescue team?” Mira asked.
“Why, it’s when Pokemon work together to save other Pokemon in peril.” Butterfree explained. “Almost everyone’s been forming teams.”
“Why is it so popular?” Joey asked.
“Lately, there have been a lot of natural disasters occurring.” Caterpie told us. “So strong Pokemon form teams to help out.”
“You three would make a great Rescue team!” Butterfree said.

My eyes went wide.
“Excuse us for a moment.” I told Butterfree and Caterpie.
I grabbed my friends and we huddled together.
“What is it?” Joey asked.
“I think we should become a Rescue team.” I whispered.
“Yeah, I think so too.” Mira agreed.
“Hey, what did the Pokemon ever to for us?” Joey asked.
We glanced at him. He couldn’t hide a little smirk on his face. He was kidding.

We turned back to Butterfree.
“Ok, we’ll become a Rescue team!” Mira told them.
“Yay!” Caterpie cheered.
“However,” Butterfree said. “You’ll need a team name.”
“Ok,” Joey said. “How about ‘Team Powers’?”
“That’s like saying, ‘all brawn and no brains’.” Mira replied.
“Then how about ‘Team PokePals’?”
“Already taken.”

We went through a lot of names; from ‘Team crushers’ to ‘Team J.W.J.’
Finally we found the perfect name: Team Super Poke.
It was simple, catchy, and modest.

“I’ll send out the word about your new team.” Butterfree promised us.
“Perfect, but there’s just one problem,” Joey said.
We all looked at him.
“We have no place to live!” He said.
“I know where you all can live.” Caterpie said.
“Where?” Joey asked.
“Follow me.” It said.

Caterpie lead us to a brown hut with a yellow roof with green stripes.
“A bunch of homes where built for Rescue teams to live in.” Caterpie explained. “This is the last one they have. It’s not the best, but it might make do.”

Make do!? The place was perfect. It looked very cozy.
Maybe I felt this way because I was a Pikachu. Who knows?

“It’s fine.” I said. It’ll provide a lot of shelter.
Caterpie looked relived.
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot to mention this.” It said.
Caterpie slithered over to a post with a rectangular shape.
“This is a mailbox, check it everyday to see if you have anything; like a new mission.”
“No problem.” Joey said.
“We’ll be going now.” Butterfree told us.
“Fine, see you later!” Mira said.
Butterfree fluttered away with Caterpie behind it.

The three of us walked inside our new house.
It had a large stack of hay for a bed, two windows, a medium sized dining table, and a small fireplace.
“I could get used to a place like this.” Mira said.
“Well, I’d like to get used to this bed.” Joey replied.
He flopped on the hay and snoozed off.
I shrugged at Mira and we joined Joey. Soon I was fast asleep.


To be continued…

P.S: Happy 5th birthday to Pokemon Community!!!
Seen August 3rd, 2010
Posted May 26th, 2008
375 posts
15.9 Years
Great chapter! look forward to seeing more. Also, luved the Team PokePals ref.:) Keep writing!
JB IZ THE OVERLORD!

Here's the link to my PMD fanfic!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=97759

...and its short story spin-off!

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=107847
And...the sequel's beginning!
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3435238#post3435238




Name: Baby Charmander
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
Seen October 24th, 2007
Posted October 24th, 2007
8 posts
15.6 Years
I think you really need to do a character analyzie or bio of the characters, otherwise you lose interest because the read has no clue whom the reading about.

However you have a very style of writing and use "big" words perfectly.

Just please take into consideration some character overviews, please.
Remoraid > Octillery

Age 35
闇の中で。
Seen October 24th, 2010
Posted July 14th, 2009
16 posts
15.8 Years
This is a very interesting fic however you could do a little better with some more description of your surroundings like the forest or the place they live in so we can see a full image on our heads of their world

that aside this is a very good story with a lot of posibilities just try to stay clear form the game story and create your own. That will make it even better
OT:Hikari
FC:3007-5596-3183



My pokemon EV rising thread
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=179977

僕の魂の中で闇と光があります

Rosefrost

Alright, who put that there?!

Age 30
....Right behind you! MUHAHA!!! (Dun dun dun dun!!)
Seen May 26th, 2009
Posted May 26th, 2009
149 posts
15.6 Years
You've may have heard, my internet was down. When it was back up, the website was having problems. Everything is back up now!

Pokemon
Mystery Dungeon Adventures

Chapter 2: Team Super Poke!



I as soon as I heard that scream, I recognized the voice immediately; Mira!
I dashed to scene, pushing through the bushes. When I got a clear view; I stopped dead in my tracks.
Standing in the middle of a field, shaking in fear, was an Eevee.
Behind it a bush started rustling and out popped a Treeko.
The moment it saw us it began scream. It caught the two of us by surprise and we started to scream too.
“Aghhhhh!” We all screamed.
Suddenly I recognized the voices.
“Joey, Mira?” I asked.
They stopped screaming too.
“Mira, Jake?” The Treeko asked.
“Jake, Joey?” The Eevee asked.
We all ran up to each other.
“Are you guys ok?” Mira asked, obviously worried.
“We’re fine.” I replied.
“What the heck is going on?” Joey cried.
Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a shout.

“Help! Somebody help!”
We turned to the cry. We saw, zipping towards us, a Butterfree.
“Oh, please help me!” It cried when it came up to us.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“During an earthquake my baby Caterpie fell in a fissure; I tried to get him out but suddenly I was attacked by angry Pokemon!”
“You were jumped by Pokemon?!” Joey asked.
“Be quiet!” Mira elbowed him in the ribs.
“Don’t worry ma’am, we’ll get your baby back!” I assured it.
“We will?” Joey asked.
Mira and I glared at him.
“Let’s go!” Mira said.

Butterfree lead us to a strange place that she said they called ‘Tiny Woods.’
“I can’t go back in there.” Butterfree told us. “The Pokemon in there really battered me up.”
“That’s ok,” Mira said. “Leave this to us.”
So off we went into Tiny Woods, with Caterpie’s fate in our hands.
“Yeah right,” Joey muttered when we were out of earshot. I bet she didn’t even try to save her baby.
I opened my mouth to reply to that comment when a Wurmple, Pidgey, and a Sunkern leaped out of nowhere.
“Guess the mama wasn’t lying about Pokemon.” Joey whispered.

The Pokemon growled at us obviously wanting the strange Pokemon to go away.
Of course, weren’t leaving without Caterpie. We would have to fight the little guys. Joey must have thought the same thing.
“Ha! I’m surprised that Butterfree got whipped by brats like you!” He exclaimed.
He was doubled over in laughter when the Wurmple charged and slammed into him, making him slide two feet on his rear end.
“Argh! My butt!” Joey cried, nursing his hurt body part.
Mira looked like she was about to crack up when the Pidgey came at her.
“Mira, look out!” I cried.
Mira looked scared for a moment, but then she gathered her courage and charged at the Pidgey.
For a moment I thought I saw white energy appeared below her feet before she charged.
When the two of them clashed, Mira proved to be stronger and sent the bird flying.

I was about to cheer for her when I saw the Sunkern bounce towards me.
“Jake, heads up!” Joey cried.
I braced myself for impact. Suddenly I felt something flow out of me. I slightly opened my eyes and saw the Sunkern being zapped with a jolt of electricity. I didn’t take me long to realize that I was using Thundershock!
The Sunkern squealed in pain and leaped back.
“Wow…” I said to myself.

“Uh… hello? I could really use some help here!”
Joey had gotten back up and was sidestepping the Wurmple’s constant attacks.
Mira started to go help but the Pidgey had recovered, wanting more action.
I wondered what I could do when I remembered something.
“Joey!” I called. “Use your tail!”
Joey looked at me like I was crazy. Then his eyes widened. Realizing what I meant.
“Thanks Jake!” His called.
He got behind the Wurmple with his tail raised.
“Pound!” He cried, bringing down the tail with a great amount of force.
He scored a good hit and knocked the Wurmple onto its back.

He grinned at me with thumbs up. I was about to return the favor but Mira needed some help. The Sunkern and Pidgey were both attacking her at the same time.
“Ugh!” She cried as a double tackle sent her sliding on the ground.
Joey couldn’t help. He was too busy pounding on the Wurmple.
I leaped between Mira and the two angry Pokemon and taunted them.
“Hey you two, you want a piece of me!?”
They fell for it. I concentrated my electricity as they surged at me.
“Thundershock!” I cried.
Electricity flowed out of my cheeks and blasted into the Pidgey and Sunkern. They flew in the air and landed against a pile of dirt. A second later, the Wurmple slid next to them, completely defeated. The three of them knew that we aren’t Pokemon to mess with, so they scrambled to their feet and hurried away.

“Ha! We kicked their sorry little butts!” Joey sneered.
Mira rolled her eyes.
“Come on,” I said. “We didn’t come here to beat up Pokemon, we came here to save Caterpie.”

Now that we were accustomed to battling, we hardly had any trouble fending off Pokemon attacks. We found strange gold coins with ‘P’ on them. We also passed some sleeping Pokemon. Joey was going to wake one up but we managed to drag him away from it.

Soon we had gotten really far in the woods.
“We’ll probably be finding Caterpie soon.” I said.
“Yeah, I want to get out of this place ASA-”
Mira’s sentence was cut short when we heard the sound of a rustling bush.
“Don’t go, Joey.” I said, putting a paw and my friend’s shoulder.
“Hey! That could be a Pokemon getting ready to jump us!” He exclaimed. “We can use the element of surprise if we get it first!”
With that said he shook off my paw and ran into the bush.
Mira sighed as we stopped.
We waited and waited. Joey didn’t pop back up.
“Let’s see what mess he’s gotten into.” Mira said.
We walked over and peered through the bush.
“Oh boy.” I whispered.

Joey lay on the ground, fast asleep. Surrounding him were four piles of Exeggcute; no doubt he was a victim of Hypnosis.
“He’s in hot water.” I muttered.
Mira nodded.
“When those Exeggcute aren’t looking, we’ll run over and get Joey.” She said.
I grabbed a loose piece of bark and threw it at a bush. The noise lured the Exeggcute away from our sleeping friend.
We ran over and started to pick up Joey.
However, one pile of Exeggcute turned around to see us.
“Exeggcute!” It cried.
The Exeggcute bounced over and surrounded us.
“Don’t look in their eyes!” I called to Mira.
Slowly, the Exeggcute closed in on us, eventually forcing us to look and be affected by Hypnosis.
“Thundershock!” I cried.
I unleashed a stream of electricity and knocked a pile of Exeggcute away.
Mira closed her eyes and slammed into another pile. The Exeggcute pile tumbled like bowling pins.
The two Exeggcute piles stared at their fallen comrades, glared at us, and left.
I breathed a huge sigh. Mira and I went over to Joey; I picked him up by the arms and Mira hoisted his legs on her head. Together we carried him off trough the woods.

“He’s not waking up any time soon.” Mira said after some time.
“Yeah, he needs a wakeup call.” I agreed.
We instantly dropped him, thinking that he would wake up rubbing his back, he didn’t. We tried things like screaming in his ear at the same time, shaking his head, even tickling under his armpits. Nothing worked.
Finally I thought of a clever idea.
“Stand back.” I told Mira.
I stood over Joey, took a deep breath, and gave him an electrical shock.
“Gaaaaa!” He cried as he was being electrocuted.
When I was done Joey was awake, but he had small scratches and burnt marks all over his body.
“What did you do that for?!” He demanded.
“We had to wake you up.” I said defensively.
“That’s what you get for running off recklessly.” Mira said.
Joey folded his arms and pouted.

Slowly, more light streamed into the woods. But that wasn’t all.
We heard sobbing. The three of us ran to the sound and found what we had been looking for.
It was Caterpie. It lay on the ground crying.
“Mommy, mommy, where are you?” It whimpered.
We proudly walked up to it.
“Hey there, everything’s going to be alright.” Mira comforted it. “Your mom sent us; let’s get you back home.”
Caterpie looked at us with sparkling eyes.
With Caterpie with us, the way back strangely went by fast. No
Pokemon attacked us.

Butterfree was so delighted when it and its baby were reunited. Caterpie sobbed as its mom comforted and held it close.

When Caterpie gathered its tears, it and its mom turned to us.
“Thank you so much for saving my child.” Butterfree said.
“No problem.” I said.
Joey glanced at me, as if saying, ‘speak for yourself.’
Caterpie was staring at us, all goggle eyed.
Butterfree looked at Joey’s expression and his scratches.
“No, no! I must thank you; this may not express my gratitude but please accept.” It said.
Butterfree came to Mira and placed three odd berries in front of her.
“What are these?” Mira asked.
“Those are special berries that cure ailments.” It pointed to the berries and told us their names. “This is a Pecha berry, that’s a Rawst berry, and this is a Cheri berry.”
“Weird berries.” Joey muttered
“Say,” Caterpie said finally. “What are your names?”
We had been so busy; we forgot to tell our names.
“I’m Jake.”
“I’m Mira.”
“I’m Joey.”
“Cool…” Caterpie said with big eyes.

Uh… the little guy was cute, but I wish he wouldn’t look at us like that.

“Are you three a Rescue team?” Butterfree asked us.
“What’s a rescue team?” Mira asked.
“Why, it’s when Pokemon work together to save other Pokemon in peril.” Butterfree explained. “Almost everyone’s been forming teams.”
“Why is it so popular?” Joey asked.
“Lately, there have been a lot of natural disasters occurring.” Caterpie told us. “So strong Pokemon form teams to help out.”
“You three would make a great Rescue team!” Butterfree said.

My eyes went wide.
“Excuse us for a moment.” I told Butterfree and Caterpie.
I grabbed my friends and we huddled together.
“What is it?” Joey asked.
“I think we should become a Rescue team.” I whispered.
“Yeah, I think so too.” Mira agreed.
“Hey, what did the Pokemon ever to for us?” Joey asked.
We glanced at him. He couldn’t hide a little smirk on his face. He was kidding.

We turned back to Butterfree.
“Ok, we’ll become a Rescue team!” Mira told them.
“Yay!” Caterpie cheered.
“However,” Butterfree said. “You’ll need a team name.”
“Ok,” Joey said. “How about ‘Team Powers’?”
“That’s like saying, ‘all brawn and no brains’.” Mira replied.
“Then how about ‘Team PokePals’?”
“Already taken.”

We went through a lot of names; from ‘Team crushers’ to ‘Team J.W.J.’
Finally we found the perfect name: Team Super Poke.
It was simple, catchy, and modest.

“I’ll send out the word about your new team.” Butterfree promised us.
“Perfect, but there’s just one problem,” Joey said.
We all looked at him.
“We have no place to live!” He said.
“I know where you all can live.” Caterpie said.
“Where?” Joey asked.
“Follow me.” It said.

Caterpie lead us to a brown hut with a yellow roof with green stripes.
“A bunch of homes where built for Rescue teams to live in.” Caterpie explained. “This is the last one they have. It’s not the best, but it might make do.”

Make do!? The place was perfect. It looked very cozy.
Maybe I felt this way because I was a Pikachu. Who knows?

“It’s fine.” I said. It’ll provide a lot of shelter.
Caterpie looked relived.
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot to mention this.” It said.
Caterpie slithered over to a post with a rectangular shape.
“This is a mailbox, check it everyday to see if you have anything; like a new mission.”
“No problem.” Joey said.
“We’ll be going now.” Butterfree told us.
“Fine, see you later!” Mira said.
Butterfree fluttered away with Caterpie behind it.

The three of us walked inside our new house.
It had a large stack of hay for a bed, two windows, a medium sized dining table, and a small fireplace.
“I could get used to a place like this.” Mira said.
“Well, I’d like to get used to this bed.” Joey replied.
He flopped on the hay and snoozed off.
I shrugged at Mira and we joined Joey. Soon I was fast asleep.


To be continued…

P.S: Happy 5th birthday to Pokemon Community!!!
I would try to be more descriptive if I were you. (you know, add a little more detail.) Other than that, it's awesome!!! (you don't usually see alot of PMD fanfics. ^_^)

Sorry I've been gone for so long everyone...>.<
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Pokemon
Mystery Dungeon Adventures

Chapter 3: Magnemite’s Mission


I slowly opened my eyes. I was staring at the roof of the hut. I raised my hand and once again saw a yellow paw.
I’m still the same. I thought.
“About time you woke up.”
I sat up.
Joey and Mira were sitting at the table, eating fruit.
“Lucky I told Joey to save you some food.” Mira said.
I walked over, sat at the table, and helped myself to a banana.
“Did you check the mail?” I asked, peeling my banana.
“Nope, I figured we should get it when you awake.” Joey said.
“Hmm.” I mumbled my mouth full of banana.
“It’d be great if we got our first mission.” I said, finished with the banana and reaching for an apple.
“That would be something.” Joey said.

After breakfast, we walked outside to the mailbox.
Joey opened the mailbox and peered inside.
“Hey, what’s this?” He asked.
He reached inside and pulled out a small brown box.
“Let’s take it inside.” Mira suggested.
We went back inside and placed it on the table.
“Let’s see what we’ve got here.” I said as we shredded the brown paper from the box.

Our package turned out to be a ‘Rescue team starter kit.’ Inside was a toolbox, an issue of ‘Pokemon news’ and three ‘normal’ rank team badges.
“I guess we should put the berries Butterfree gave us in this toolbox.” I suggested.
After we put the berries in the toolbox and took our badges, we went back to the mailbox to see if we left anything.
I opened the mailbox and peered inside.
“Anything?” Mira asked.
I closed the box and shook my head.
“Nope, nothing.” I sighed.
“I guess no one found out about our team yet.” Joey said.

Suddenly we heard the flapping of wings.
We looked up and saw a Pelipper flying above us. It looked like it was holding something in its feet.
“Extra! Extra!” It called.
The Pelipper dropped an envelope and took off.
The envelope gently sailed down and landed in front of me.
I picked it up and slowly opened it. There was a letter.
“What’s it say?” Mira asked.
I read it aloud;

BZZ! BZZ! HELLO… THIS IS MAGNEMITE. WE HEARD ABOUT HOW YOU THREE SAVED CATERPIE, WE KNOW YOU CAN HELP.
OUR FRIENDS, MAGNEMITE, WENT INTO A CAVE CALLED THUNDERWAVE CAVE. HOWEVER, THEY WENT TOO FAR IN THE CAVE AND MAGNETIC WAVES FORCED THEM TO STICK TOGETHER.
NOW THEY CANNOT MOVE. WE ARE WORRIED ABOUT THEM. IF WE WENT IN THERE, WE WOULD BECOME TRAPPED JUST LIKE THEM.
PLEASE HELP US.

BZZ! BZZ!

I looked at my friends. They seemed impressed by the mission.
“So all we have to do is get those Magnemite separated and it’s ‘mission successful!’ Joey said.
“Yeah, but maybe it’s not going to be that easy.” Mira said.
“Aww, we can take the Pokemon that are in that cave.” Joey reassured her. “After all, how much tougher can they be?”
“Joey’s right.” I said. “We have to help those in need, right.”
“Ok.” Mira agreed.

We took out our badges and raised them in the air.
“Super Poke, go!” We shouted.

~~

Thirty minutes later, we arrived at the entrance of Thunderwave cave.
At the entrance, there were two Magnemite.
“WE ARE GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.” One said.
“OUR FRIENDS ARE AT THE VERY END OF THE CAVE.” The other told us.
“Thanks!” I said. “And don’t worry, we’ll find your friends.”
“Let’s go!” Joey said.

We walked into the cave; very surprised that there was a lot of light inside. It was also very quiet.
“This is weird.” I whispered.
“Yeah, nothing’s here.” Joey whispered back.
We stayed on guard along the way, but we still didn’t see anything.
I thought that this would be an extremely easy mission when small needles hit the wall in front of me.
We all whirled around and laid our eyes on a Nidoran(F). It was apparently the source of the needles, the Poison Sting.
I gave the Pokemon a Thundershock.
The Nidoran(F) tumbled away, dropping a strange seed.
We approached the dropped Item. It was a yellow seed that looked more like a big walnut than a seed.
Mira set the toolbox down and opened it.
Joey picked up the seed and put it into the box.
Mira put back on the box and we went back on our way.

We found more than just the seed. We found more gold coins, three blue berries and two more Pecha berries.
In time, Pokemon started attacking us again.
Joey was thrilled to be fighting again.
But strangely, we felt stronger after every battle.
Soon, we were trapped in a room with six Pokemon.

“Bring it on punks!” Joey called.
A Poohyena charged at him.
Joey swung his tail and knocked the dog away.
I blasted a Rattata and a Voltorb with one Thundershock.
The rat scampered away but the Voltorb apparently didn’t take too much damage from the attack.
I closed my eyes and fired a slightly weaker zap.
When I opened my eyes, the Voltorb was still there, but it was straining itself to move.
“What the?” I said out loud.
Joey swatted the Pokemon away and glanced at me.
“Say Jake,” Joey said. “I think that was a Thunderwave.”
“Yeah!” I exclaimed. “I guess I’ve been leveling up.”

Joey made a face that told me he was thinking.
He turned to a Nidoran(F) that Mira was dueling.
“Absorb!” Joey cried out.
He closed his eyes and raised his hands.
Small yellow orbs flew out of his body and attached themselves to the Nidoran.
“Nido!” The Pokemon cried out as the attached orbs glow brightly.
They detached themselves and flew into Joey.
“Whoa.” Joey murmured.
The Nidoran(F) and the remaining two Poohyena made their escape through a hallway with us in hot pursuit.

“Darn!” Joey exclaimed when it was concluded that we lost them. “I wanted to fight.
“You may get your chance right now.” I whispered. “Listen.”
We kept our ears open and heard gusting winds.
“I have a feeling we should get going.” Mira told us as she was already walking away.

We walked on through the cave. I knew that we were very close to the Magnemite. My cheeks began to attract a lot of electricity.
“Hey, that tickles!” I exclaimed as sparks buzzed at my face.
“Come on, we know that the static in here can’t get enough of electric Pokemon.” Joey said.
“Alright, alright.” I hurried up to them.
We heard more buzzing.
“Ok Jake, knock it off.” Mira snapped.
“It wasn’t me, swear!” I exclaimed.
Joey and Mira where staring at me when we heard more loud buzzing sounds.
“If that wasn’t you…” Mira began.
“Then who’s making that sound?” Joey finished.
An Elekid burst into the room. Behind it were a Plusle and a Minun.
They stood in front of us with looks on their faces as if they were going to battle us to the death.
“Super Poke, defense positions!” Joey cried out.
We each took our own enemy; Mira took on the Plusle and Joey stood off against the Elekid.
That left me with the little Minun. For a small fellow, it was very determined to defeat me.
The Minun charged at me with a Quick attack.
I sidestepped it and gave it a small Thundershock.
The attack caused the Pokemon to tumble on the ground next to its friend Plusle.
They turned away from us, watching Joey and the Elekid duel.
Mira and I looked at it too.

It was almost like a boxing match, the stepping and hitting.
Joey swung at the Elekid with his tail.
The Elekid ducked and tried to get in a Thunderpunch but Joey leaped to the side.
That was when the electric Pokemon saw its chance.
It tackled Joey with a Quick attack.
They wrestled around on the ground, trying to get up and take down the enemy.
Joey used his tail to hold the Elekid as he got up.
I pumped up my fists when Joey was up and about to deliver a crushing blow.

Static flew out of nowhere and blasted Joey away from the Elekid.
I whirled around to the source; the Plusle and Minun.
The two Pokemon had used a double Thundershock on Joey.
Now the Minun was coming at us while the Plusle ran over to help Elekid finish off Joey!
I was so angry that I didn’t notice how hard I blasted the Minun until it was too late.
Plusle turned around to see its friend fall to the ground after a devastating shock.
“Plusle!” The Pokemon cried out.
It ran over to Minun’s motionless body.
I shuttered when it seemed that I killed the Pokemon.
But I had no time to worry, Joey needed help.

Elekid stood over him, powering up an extra strong Thunderpunch.
Mira tackled it to the ground and I paralyzed it with a Thunderwave.
Then we grabbed Joey and ran off.

“Joey, Joey! Say something.” Mira called to him.

Joey weakly raised his head.
“Ugh… that Elekid sure did a number on me.” He muttered.

Mira opened the toolbox and pulled out a blue berry.

“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I heard that these berries are supposed to restore a Pokemon’s heath.” She told me.

She opened Joey’s mouth and popped the berry in. She closed his mouth and ordered him to chew and swallow.
Joey did that and instantly leaped to his feet.

“Hey, I feel completely energized!” He cried.
I glanced at my Eevee turned friend.
“Guess those berries really work.” I said.

No sooner had I said that when the Elekid returned.
Joey smiled and leaped at it.
This time Joey finished it off quickly with an Absorb.
Our Treeko pal marched over to us in triumph.
“Onward, troops!” He said.

We went on; eventually my cheeks were surrounded with static, a sign that we were almost to the Magnemite.

That was when we heard very loud sparks.

“Follow that noise!” I said.
We ran through a thin corridor and saw the two Magnemite, stuck together by magnetic waves.

“BZZ! BZZ! ARE YOU HERE TO RESCUE US?” One asked.
“Yep, we’re Team Super Poke!” Joey told them.
“Let’s get you two unstuck!” Mira said.

We ran over and began pulling them away. But as soon as they were separated, magnetic waves would stick them back together.

“It looks like we have to get you two out of here so the magnetic waves can’t reach you.” I concluded.

We started to lift them up to carry.

“WAIT!” One cried.
“What’s the matter?” Mira asked.
“DO YOU HAVE RESCUE TEAM BADGES?” It asked.
We nodded.
“YOU CAN USE THEM TO TELEPORT US OUT OF HERE!” It told us.

Really?

We took out our badges and glanced at them.
They shook in our hands and were glowing in bright yellow.
“Well, It’s worth a shot.” Joey said.
We huddled together next the Magnemite and squeezed our badges. They shone a blinding light.

The next thing I knew, we were outside the cave and with the awaiting Magnemite.

“OUR FRIENDS!” One cried.
The Magnemite were all reunited.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP.” One said to us.
“PLEASE ACCEPT OUR GIFTS.”

They gave us 500poke, (So those gold coins are money!) and a ‘Reviver seed.’

“USE IT WHEN YOU ARE IN A DIRE SITUATION.” The Magnemite told us.

We said goodbye and headed back home.

“We really did great today!” Joey exclaimed.
“Yeah, and I thought that we would mess up.” Mira said, tapping her head.
“Well,” I said. “We’d better get some shut-eye for tomorrow. We could be getting another mission.”

Joey and Mira agreed. We raced inside; put away all of our rescue tools, and fell fast asleep on our comfy bed.


To be continued...
Non-binary
Seen March 10th, 2023
Posted June 14th, 2017
777 posts
15.6 Years
Fairly average really... Other than the beginning and how all the main characters are humans turned into Pokemon, it's exactly identical to the game's storyline, and could use some more description. Also, it seems like immediately the characters are used to being Pokemon, and have no real thoughts about the experience after becoming a Rescue Team. Just a bit of advice for you...
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Fairly average really... Other than the beginning and how all the main characters are humans turned into Pokemon, it's exactly identical to the game's storyline, and could use some more description. Also, it seems like immediately the characters are used to being Pokemon, and have no real thoughts about the experience after becoming a Rescue Team. Just a bit of advice for you...
*Tsk* *Tsk*

That's how I'm seting up the the fic, iLike2EatPiez.
I'm taking the storyboard from the game and adding exciting twists.
That's how I make it unique.