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  #1    
Old October 8th, 2007 (7:12 AM). Edited October 8th, 2007 by Shadow Weavile.
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Shadow Weavile Shadow Weavile is offline
Roserade 1#
     
    Join Date: Nov 2006
    Location: in Middle Earth
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    Welcome to another comic of me
    please be nice and give nice comments



    Bio 'bout the characters:


    Credits: The spriters resource, Matt Silver (the speech bubbles) And last but not least Vgmaps for the maps
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      #2    
    Old October 8th, 2007 (4:03 PM).
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    [NovaPirate] [NovaPirate] is offline
    And the rest went riding on.
       
      Join Date: Nov 2005
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      Reborned is neither a real word nor a very enticing title (if you ask me.), because it makes you sound illiterate.
      Also, the bio of your character is rather blunt.
      -'He's a very good kid' That could mean anything.
      -'He's strong' So he's a Mary sue?
      -'He joins our hero's' If he's a good kid, then you wouldn't put him in the story, nor dedicate an entire comic to him, if he wasn't going to join the hero's.
      Also, you have two credits. Unless you custom made those overworlds, your missing some. Fix all the weird grammatical mistakes in the last slide ("next ?,"), as well as never do that again. It's a waste of space. A four slide comic is rather short, as well.

      In short:
      Rethink your characters. Just because they're sprites doesn't mean they're not human. We are very advanced. So should your characters.
      Some grammar mistakes
      Use your space wisely, and make your comics longer.
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        #3    
      Old October 8th, 2007 (9:50 PM).
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      Matt Silver Matt Silver is offline
      Who Do You Think?
         
        Join Date: Oct 2005
        Location: Where Giving Up Is Not An Option
        Age: 25
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        Who said you could use my speech bubbles? Lol, Im just kidding. They're not really mine anyway - I was just the first to use those colors and stuff as speech bubbles.

        I basically agree with everything Angel said - your character isn't the peak of originality right now, and probably doesn't need a bio until we actually learn some more in the comic. Giovanni's kid who's good? That's kinda Mary-Sue-ish.

        Keep trying. Just follow our advice if you want.
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          #4    
        Old October 9th, 2007 (3:22 AM).
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        Jake Jake is offline
        Pearly White Dream
           
          Join Date: Jul 2005
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          Lol. Silver is Giovanni's son, but it's ok. You should go along with what they said, you'll get better.
          For now I'll give it a 5.5/10.
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            #5    
          Old October 9th, 2007 (3:49 AM). Edited October 9th, 2007 by Shadow Weavile.
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          Shadow Weavile Shadow Weavile is offline
          Roserade 1#
             
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            Omg Silver is Giovanni's Real Son o.o''

            Edit:
            Episode 2 :D
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              #6    
            Old October 9th, 2007 (9:38 AM).
            RocketMemberMichael's Avatar
            RocketMemberMichael RocketMemberMichael is offline
            My Mew...He is...Dying...
               
              Join Date: Jan 2006
              Location: I am sobbing with Mew...He is dying...
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              Alright, Comic is ok but you're missing credit I think, did you make all that yourself, You need to stop with the "Read the next episode" on the last panel, it is a comic, so we know there will be another comic. Plus it is toooo short. WAY TO SHORT!
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                #7    
              Old October 17th, 2007 (12:18 PM).
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              Shadow Weavile Shadow Weavile is offline
              Roserade 1#
                 
                Join Date: Nov 2006
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                Meh about the panels to short idc i like them
                I made a freewebs site with all comics i will update if i made another one
                http://www.freewebs.com/kantoreborned/
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