That was… really long. But I liked it! The ending was really sad, but very strait-forward.
>> It really shows the harm in trusting something as rare as friendship. I actually hated the whole message. Nice building up to the finale though.
I love the opening, it sets the picture beautifully~
Actually this poem would be awesome to illustrate! 0w0 Such cute descriptions really,
it reminded me of Bambi, lol or a book entitled “Guess How Much I Love You”… OR the briar Rabbit fairy tale. (heh, yeah, it reminded me of a lot of things .-.)
I caught a few spelling mistakes/Typos for you~
They wrestled like to bunnies would <-- [“To” should be “Two”] =x
They if they came across a fox <-- [First “they” should be “That”]
I'm the mood for meat!" <-- [I think there should be an “in” in there, after I’m.]
<3 But they weren’t bad, it just jumbled the flow when I read it out.
I like the rhymes. And it was really easy to read, almost rolled off the tongue.
Arg, the fox… is a jerk. >-<
Nice poem really. Good work~ ^.^
Eh, I'm a Chemistry major, not an English major! XD haha, thanks for the points! I've read over this a few dozen times, and did not even see those.
And actually, the theme of this poem (the message) is something revisited... my very first poem (called "The Tragic Tale of Bob the Fly") had basically the exact same message. This one is just a lot longer, and a bit more elaborate... but "Bob the Fly" has the most awesome rhyme scheme.
But thanks for the comments! I forget if I posted my "Bob the Fly" poem (which, I shall say, is the only poem to ever be accepted for publication within my school!), but if I haven't posted it before, I could post it. I consider it my best and most fanciful poem.