auratios

<= Where did red go??!!

Somewhere in this world
Seen March 19th, 2008
Posted February 1st, 2008
35 posts
15.8 Years
I have this fanfic at serebii but it got closed so i'll just pose it here just longer...:(i hope it won't happen here...

if there is any wrong grammar sorry i'm bad at english...well this is a specialshipping fic but at first there won't be any hints this is about a prophecy when a legend is born a hero is too. the first featured pokemon will be latias and latios. you might notice Red's behavior different from the manga but i like him behaving like a child so that's what i'll do.... Pls review.....

While walking through Altomare, Red and yellow where finding a place to stay at for the night.” Red are you sure you saw something pass by or maybe it was a pokemon?” Yellow asked. ”I really saw something Yellow, I’m not lying..” Red said. “And about the place to stay at is there any Pokemon Center here?? Yellow
Asked. “maybe we can just ask later but for now let’s go around to get familiar with Altomare. “fine..” Yellow muttered. “hey let’s go to the museum, it’s quite close from here!!” Red said excitedly. “ Okay!!” Yellow said sounding interested.
They started to run to the museum just ahead until a girl about their age stopped them from passing. ”Hey what’s the big idea?! Red told the girl. The girl just looked at them with curious eyes. “Red, don’t be mean! Hi!! I’m Yellow and this is Red sorry if Red disturbed you.” Yellow said politely while Red just grumbled. The girl’s eyes began to spark with interest. She took Red and Yellow’s hand then began to run toward a alley. “woah!! Watch where your going!” Yellow screamed as she almost hit the post. The girl just looked back and giggled at the sight. Then she stopped at a dead end, releasing their hands and to look at them then to the wall she signaled them to follow her. She walked to the wall then disappeared. “ Woah!! How did she do that!!??” Red exclaimed. Yellow ignored her friend then walked to the wall leaving Red there. “Yellow, wait for me!! Red panicked as he saw that he was alone. He walked to the wall then vanished. When Red opened his eyes he saw that he was in a garden. There were pokemon chatting happily with each other. He then spotted Yellow walking to the girl. He followed her. The girl looked happily at them then began to glow white.

As the girl’s body began to change. Red and Yellow looked at her curiously. As the light began to fade they saw something that will change their lifes forever…. The legendary pokemon Latias…

It gave a shriek before swooping down at Yellow looking curiously at her. It began to giggle as it looked at Red and Yellow. It gave a call that was high pitched that Red and Yellow had to cover their ears. A figure began to fly around them giving a shriek then materializing as the pokemon latios. “ Yellow can you bash me over the head before I go crazy??” Red said to Yellow. Latios and Latias just sweatdropped. Before remembering that they were a legend to Altomare. “Red, your not going crazy….” Yellow told him. The latios then went behind a tree then came out with two eggs in hand. It gave Red a blue one and Yellow a Red one. “What’s this, Latios?” Red asked. Latios didn’t say a word it nodded at latias who transformed into human form. She took Red and Yellow’s hands then started leaving latios behind. Red looked at latios who turned invisible then flew away.. When they reached the destination Red and Yellow thanked Latias who looked at them one last time before disappearing again. “Red can I put this egg in your backpack since I don’t have anything to put it in” Yellow asked. “sure just put it in can you put mine too in it?” Red asked. “Sure” Yellow said before putting the eggs in the backpack. “come on Yellow, I think we should find a place to stay.” Red said. Yellow nodded then began to ask a girl who had blonde hair. “excuse me but is there a hotel in Altomare?” Yellow asked politely.

The girl turned around surprised to see Yellow in front of her. “ There’s a hotel just head straight then left then you’ll see it..” The girl said. “Thanks soo much!” Yellow said happily. She returned to Red who was waiting for her. “Well Red there’s a hotel straight ahead then we turn left.” Yellow explained. Red nodded then began to walk with Yellow. While the girl whom she talked to turned away, grinning evilly. When they began to turn to the left when they looked at it there was no hotel to be seen. “Yellow are you sure you heard the girl say that it was here??” Red asked. “Yes, I really heard her say that it was here.” She said. Then a girl appeared. “Hey you’re the girl that I asked. You said the hotel was here!” Yellow said furiously at the girl. “I did?? I’m sooooo sorry! Not!” The girl said sarcastically. “ You must be Red..” The girl said before grinning as she saw the eggs in his backpack. “ Give me the eggs in your backpack now, Red” She commanded. Red backed away before whispering to Yellow “ Yellow, get the eggs in my backpack then go to latios.” He whispered. “But Red, I just can’t leave you here..” Yellow whispered back. “Yellow, please..” Red begged. Yellow hesitantly took the eggs then began to run the other side. “Oh no you don’t!! GO!”


The girl said before releasing a pokemon Red thought he would never see again. The pokemon Latias. “ Latias what are you doing her!?” Red shouted. Latias didn’t say anything she just glared at Red before started to chase Yellow. “Yellow no!!” Red shouted. Yellow looked back before seeing Latias beside her glaring at her. “Latias what’s wrong??” She asked. The latias gave a shriek before releasing a hyper beam. Yellow screamed as the blast hitted her then she lost her balance then fell to the ground. “ Yellow!!” Red shouted. Red gritted his teeth in frustration. Red thought that he left all of his pokemon at prof. Oak’s along with Yellow’s pokemon. “Latias over here!!!” Red shouted to get Latias’s attention. Latias looked at him then started to fire hyper beams at him which he dodged. Until another hyper beam was fired at latias. Latias who was hitted, looked at who fired the hyper beam, her eyes widened when she saw latios flying over her. The girl looked surprised when she saw latios here “I thought you were already dead, how did you take off that net!?” She shouted in frustration. Latios began to charge a luster purge which hitted the girl. Latias looked at latios in anger.. Latios began to talk with latias in somewhat like a argument. Then Latias’s eyes faded to the normal orange they were her eyes widened as the girl’s concentration over her body started to fade. Then latias fell to the ground unconscious. Latias started to use recover on himself and latias. Red then looked at them smiling, then began to think where Yellow was. “Yellow!!” Red remembered. He started to run to where Yellow was lying unconscious. Yellow started to gain consciousness.

She opened her eyes to see Red smiling down her. “Red, is that you?” She asked. Red nodded before helping her up. Yellow remembered the egg who she was still hugging. Yellow saw Latias and Latios hovering over the ground. “Thanks so much Latios for helping me!” Yellow said patting Latios on the head. Latios nodded then looked back at Latias. “We’ll take care of your egg Latios and Latias, we promise.” Red said.. Latios looked at Red then at Latias who nodded then transformed into human. She began to speak “Red and Yellow, please head to Shamouti Islands now the Guradian Of The Sea is waiting for you…” She said. Red and Yellow looked at each other then began to look at Latias. “You just spoke..” Yellow said in awe. Latias giggled. “But why didn’t you speak when we first me??” Red asked. “Because I just mastered it now…” Latias said proudly. All of them began to laugh as Sunset arrived Red and Yellow boarded the boat that was heading to Shamouti Island. Both of them looked at the sky where they saw Latias and Latios were flying above them before heading back to Altomare.
http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p14/StarLe19/Pokemon/Mixed%20and%20Other/i_red_16.gif SPECIALSHIPPING RULES!!!
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
Don't feel bad because your story is in the Revision Bin. Actually, to be honest, I would be pretty happy to find my story here. It means that my story is going to receive some special attention and I'll get the help I need to help myself grow as a writer.

I'll help you out with what Careful With That Axe, Pichu means. See, right now, your story looks all mooshed together. It's difficult to read, and so some people might just ignore it because it is difficult to read. But a way to help out is by separating your story into paragraphs, like my post is.

To separate your paragraphs, hit the Enter button twice. This will leave a blank line between paragraphs. You start a new paragraph whenever someone starts speaking. Let me show you with an example from your story.

While walking through Altomare, Red and yellow where finding a place to stay at for the night.

"Red are you sure you saw something pass by or maybe it was a pokemon?” Yellow asked.

”I really saw something Yellow, I’m not lying.” Red said.

“And about the place to stay at is there any Pokemon Center here?" Yellow
Asked.
See how much easier it is to read? If you just do that, your story will be more readable, and we can help you out with the other mechanical problems in your fic. Since you say that your bad at English, we can help you learn.

You also want to start a new paragraph when you have a full paragraph of description, or if you have a new idea that doesn't really fit in with the other ideas of the paragraph.

But for now, just worry about fixing the paragraphs for your speech. After that, I can read your story easier and help you out with the other issues. Then, if you follow the advice given to you, your story will improve.

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