Haven't really released anything in a while.
Reviews would be appreciated.
* Thanks to Hanako Tabris for beta-ing. I think everyone should bow down to her. Or at least give her cupcakes.
Changes
Indecisiveness seemed to be the bane of my existence that day.
I knew, without a doubt, whatever I chose, it would most likely not be a happy ending, to say the least. One choice could develop feelings of failure, and that’s not exactly what I would call flattering. Like the other times I’d lost, I would probably beat myself up mentally for days on end and deprive myself of sleep, wondering exactly what you thought of me after such a chastening downfall. In my opinion, it had gone on for far too long--it could not, absolutely not, happen again.
The other choice, though, would have some of your worries of losing cease. The outcome would be unpredictable, which is what upset me the most. I could be so much stronger--if only you’d let me. Since the very beginning, I’ve been told time and time again, "You can not evolve. I will not have such a lovable pokémon like you turn into… into…a monster!"
… Monsters. That’s what you called my evolutions--the ones I yearned to be for so long. I had not experienced evolution before, as I was only a Gible--I was at the bottom of the chain. They were much more powerful than I was, but one can still be strong and a great companion at the same time. Surely, I would not turn into a beast that you accused my evolutions of being. I would still be the same congenial pokemon that I always had been.
The burns on my stubby little feet continued to deplete my energy, and I acknowledged the fact that I would not last very long, considering the condition I was in. For the first time in forever, I wished for you to recall me back to that red and white contraption you humans call a pokéball. However, knowing you, the battle would go on until the final results were in.
"Come on, Gible! We can’t lose. Do you know that? Do you? Why must this repeat every time?" you called to me, unmistakably attempting to make me think I was not doing my best. Your words stung as if I was being stabbed by numerous pin missiles coming from a Jolteon, but I soon understood that nothing was attacking, and I knew that it only your words that had done such damage. I guessed that that was what it took when you were desperate--you’d go as low as to crush any hint of confidence in me to win.
Of course I know, I thought, but said nothing out loud. What a waste it would have been. Why talk, when you could not comprehend? Why talk, when I could’ve been trying to defeat the opponent? The other trainer’s pokémon, a rather repulsive Weezing, began to snicker at the burn it had inflicted upon me just minutes ago--and probably at what you were saying as well.
"Weezing, this is already over. Pretty much, anyway. Use smokescreen, and we’ll be on our way," the trainer casually ordered. I attempted to come up with some kind of strategy without your help, something right on the spot that could get me out of the situation, but nothing came to me. The burns lingered and seemed to not want to disappear, and I knew I could not perform any of my attacks. Then, I could see the two sickly heads of the pokémon suck in deeply, and it appeared as if they were about to explode as a final act.
"Do anything! Ugh! Anything!" you cried while holding your tiny, fragile hands to your face like you knew it was already over.
Anything?
The simple word brought a grin to me face, one that caused the other trainer to look at me strangely. That was my chance, I knew. You had basically given me your permission to do whatever I wanted. I still hesitated, however, not knowing exactly what the outcome would be. My only option at the moment was something I pined for, and something you absolutely loathed, unfortunately.
Whoever decided that this would be my trainer doesn’t seem to like me much.
Shoving that thought into the back of my mind, I took notice of the Weezing again, who finally released several clouds of smoke into the battlefield, causing every one of us to lose sight of any previous surroundings. I could hear you coughing, but I also could have sworn I heard the other trainer chuckling. If we were going to lose to anyone, it definitely couldn’t have been to that guy.
It’s either now… or never.
While the smoke was still covering the arena, I allowed my body to take over, and no longer fought against the urge to evolve. All of the fear of your reactions seemed to fade away at that moment, and I knew everything would turn out just fine. Finally, something was going my way! My entire body, which wasn’t that large to begin with, began to glow a bright white, but it was unclear on whether or not you could see. At that point, it didn't matter to me. What was happening was happening. Instantly, I began to feel myself grow taller, but the process was surprisingly painless. I had expected misery and anguish for the few short seconds it took, though it'd be worth it in the end. After the massive height change, my stubby feet and arms seemed to no longer exist; on my new knees were blades that, surely, I could use as a weapon towards others. In addition to that, my arms had been transformed to scythes that would definitely come in handy from then on.
Once I felt no more miraculous change, I forced myself to open my new goldenrod eyes and took a look around. By then, the smoke had nearly cleared and the Weezing and its trainer were no where to be found. They'd made good on their threat to depart when the smokescreen was released. Nothing but trees and a path leading into somewhere elsewhere surrounded me, and there would be plenty of time to admire my new form with you soon enough. So, I looked at what I was anticipating to see the most--you.
At first, there was no real expression on your face. The wind blew your long brown hair into your face, which usually irritated you to no end, but you didn't seem to notice in the slightest bit this time. Your bright green eyes stared into mine, and a sensation of fear and confusion seemed to be emanating from you, as if I was going to attack you with all my might and as if you had never seen me before. I thought that, perhaps, you were unsure if I was delighted with this new form I'd taken, so you were reluctant on giving out your opinion. To prove to you how ecstatic I was, I let out my first roar as a Gabite, which sounded rather raspy, but it was an improvement from the squeaky sound it had been previously. Overall, it was a cry of finally reaching my destination.
There was still no response from you. Not even a blink. In fact, you looked more terrified than before. Immediately regretting it, I took a step towards you with my new pair of purple legs, and you moved back with caution.
“Don’t come near me!” you cried, your once-pleasant voice suddenly replaced by trepidation. Then, I remembered why exactly I had been petrified to do this in the first place, but a new question arrived: What exactly were you afraid of? I did not feel evil or monstrous at all, and I was most definitely not setting out to destroy the nearest city to show off my new abilities.
Without warning, the feelings of joy for finally becoming what I longed to be vanished and were replaced by betrayal and countless other emotions that didn’t have the definition of the word “happy”; what was the use of celebrating when there is no one else there to do it with you?
Something I did must have made you aware of such fury, since the next thing I knew you were pulling out my pokéball and aiming it towards me with a trembling hand. I wasn’t going to let that happen; who knew how long it would be until I was released from there again? Every time the red beam flashed towards me, I easily took a step to the side, dodging it.
I also wasn’t about to let myself stick around to see what would happen next. I grunted, and whacked the ball out of your hand with my new tail to prevent you from confining me in there ever again. You fell backwards, followed by a scream like I had actually assaulted you in some way. Next, I turned around, and did what I thought was the only thing left to do.
I ran.
I ran through the clearing, and into one end of forest I’m sure you wouldn’t enter for fear of encountering me again. Several wild pokémon stared at me along the way--I could feel their confused eyes follow me as I sped past them. Hopefully, they didn’t think anything horrifying was happening--this was just me, Gabite, setting out to find the best of me.
Eventually, since I was inexperienced with this body configuration still, I tripped over something--most likely a rock or a root jutting out from the ground. Whatever it was, I was lying face-down in the dirt, which was where I might as well have been the entire time you were preventing me from evolving. I then became aware of the fact that my burn was no longer there--however, it felt as if my heart had been crisped instead, which was a million times worse than what that Weezing could have really done to me. Really, it didn’t matter now--you were gone. Out of my life. Forever, I silently hoped.
I slowly stood up, and brushed myself off gently, getting rid of any dirt that touched my body. If I allowed anything, especially a little thing like dirt, to mess up my new form, it’d simply be inexcusable. That included you. I knew that one day, someone would betray you the same way you did me, and you‘d feel as if you weren‘t good enough for the person who committed that “crime”. And I wouldn’t be there to help you up. Your other pokémon, maybe, but the thought of me and what you did should still be engraved in your memory then and it’d still hurt on the inside, no matter what they did to support you. Silently, I hoped that I’d be there to see every moment of it.
I wouldn’t miss it for the world.