What more would you like her to add? This is just a cute little story about Ash thinking about Dawn and his quiet feeling for her. There's not much more Bubbles18 could add to it without drawing away from the idea of the story: Ash is watching Dawn dance and thinks about her.
I read this before, but never got around to reviewing it. I'm not all that good at reviewing shipping fics since I'm not that much of a shipper. (And my ships don't have fics written for them. ^^) But like I said, this is a cute little story.
Ever since then, when he had done what she had told him, he cursed when he found out that she was right.
This has to be my favorite line. I can't really explain why. I guess because it shows that Ash can't stand to admit that Dawn might be right about something, but he has to because she is. It shows a side of their friendship that says that they might not always be good friends, but there's something there.
One little grammar thing:
The sun was shining on her, giving her an earthy glow. Warming her up from the inside.
I think that the second sentence is a fragment. It's missing its subject (the sun) and might work better combined with the first sentence. But then again, the two separate sentences just sound good together as they are now. o.o
Bubbles18, I hope that you'll post more of your writing here at PC.