Age 30
In your closet ;]
Seen May 30th, 2010
Posted September 13th, 2008
19 posts
15.5 Years
OMG YESH! Craziness has befallen on this forum! Anyway, this was originally posted on SPPf, but I guess I'll post it here. Some things will not make sense because I originally put in members of SPPf in it (some are here thanks God) and yeah, I guess I'll have to generalize this more if I'm going to post it in two forums XD

Presenting:

Breaking the Fourth Wall - A Cataclysmic (whatever that means) Breaking of the Fanfiction Rules (Uncut, No Description, and a Freakin’ Mod Magnet)

Episode #1: RACISM!? A Contract of Demise. . .



Somewhere in America – Fox Studio
Monday, October 14, 2017



*I currently can’t narrate because them rich morons from hell who run FOX haven’t decided if this thing will be on air or not. . .Lame way to start a story huh?*

Fox Corporate: *hidden in shadows* Shut up you dumbass, this ain’t no story for God’s sake, this is a show! A show damn it!

*Well technically. . .it is a written script*

Fox Corporate: Guards, get this clown out of here. Hire a narrator who doesn’t half arse his narrating.

*Hah! There are no other narrators! Screw you, bub!*

Fox Corporate: Damn you -_- I’ll find a narrator one day, and I’ll fire you!

*Fine, good luck with that.*

Homer Simpson:*eating donut*

Fox Corporate: -_- What do you suggest we do with the Divinity_123 Show PPL? It was our biggest hit, but they betrayed us for moving to NBC. Should we start airing their episodes again?

Smn Cwll: Id gv tht prfrmnc a thr out of tn, it ws prtty brng, and yr vcls r bsltly hrrfyng.

Fox Corporate: . . .American Idol’s not on Simon. I didn’t hear any performance. O_O

*Deliah Ketchum’s Mr. Mime pretends to sing at the background.*

Paula Abdul: *drinks from coke bottle* LIKE OMG! YO RANDEH! Y’KNOW WHAT’S IN THIS COKE? *bursts into a fit of giggles*

Randy: No dawg.

Paula Abdul: *still giggling* V-V-V-V-V-V

Randy: Vodka?

Paula Abdul: UH HUH! *giggles some more*

Randy: It’s not cool to leave a brother out. . .gimme some dawg! *drinks*

Paula Abdul: THAT PERFORMANCE WAS LIKE SO TTLY AMAZ-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z *unconscious*

Randy: Yo dawg, that was off the roof! Ma homie g, yar shizzle mah dazzling me! Yo dawg, just yo. . .WOOF, WOOF! WHO LET THE DOG OUT!?

Mr. Mime: . . . . . . . . .*translation* (I think I let the dog out. . .)


- Pallet Town –

Oak: OMG! STOP IT! No! You can’t! NOOO! NOOOOOO! STOP IT! PLEASE! NO! STOP!

Dog: Sorry, was I tickling you too hard?


- Somewhere in America -

Fox Corporate: O_O

Homer: Gimme change for a fifty?

Fox Corporate: Sure, how much? ^__^

Homer: Gimme two twenties.

Fox Corporate: You sure bout’ that?

Homer: Beer, beer, beer!

Fox Corporate: *takes fifty and hands two twenties*


- Moe’s Tavern -

Moe: 50 bucks worth of drinkin’, Homer. . .

Homer: *takes out wallet and hands two twenties*

Moe: *takes out shotgun* What kinda joke are ya tryin’ to pull off, bub! Hand over the rest of the money!

Homer: *smacks head* Doh!


- Somewhere in America –



Fox Corporate: Okay, since all of you are complete morons, I’ll have to make the decision myself. Yes, we are letting the Divinity_123 Show back in FOX, but first things first, get the man in here, ASAP.


An hour later


Fox Corporate: Where the hell have you been? It’s been like. . .

*An hour?*

Fox Corporate: *throws broken champagne bottle at narrator*

Divinity_123: You wanted me. . .Sir? *cute puppy eyes*

Fox Corporate: You’re hired, Divy, but you arse, you try to steal our money, try to burn our mailboxes or even think about moving networks again. . .I’ll have you killed, understand?

Divinity_123: Clearly. Sir, if I do commit any of these unthinkable acts, can you please have me buried in Beverly Hills?

Fox Corporate: No. . .You will be thrown in Lake Verity.

Smn Cwll: Cn you sng Dvnty_123? Sng fr m nw.

Divinity_123: Mssn vwl spk?

Smn Cwll: Mhmm.

Dvnty_123: Ol’ mcdnld hd a frm, rdng on a pny dwn th strm!

Smn Cwll: Bsltly dsgstng! u mxd th sngs Ol’ Mcdnld, Ynk Ddl and Rw Rw Rw Yr Bt Gntly dwn th Strm tgthr! Fv out f tn!

Dvnty_123: Srry, i cn’t sng f u ddn’t ntc.

Randy: Yo dawg, can you sing the chorus from Thnks fr th mmrs?

Divinity_123: You like Fallout Boy? O_O

Randy: *wipes sweat off forehead* No. . .

Smn Cwll: *scoffs*

Randy: YO! YO! Before yalls begin, dawgs, why don’t I get no last name?

Fox Corporate: It must be a typo. *glares at typer*

I worked my *** off to get this script ready so STFU!

Fox Corporate: Hmph, you’ll conveniently be found dead by your mother while brushing your teeth in your washroom tomorrow. Ya better go arrange your funeral services. . .

-_-

Randy: Dawg, cause’ I’m black! You don’t gimme no last name!

No. . .I must’ve forgotten.


Randy: That’s right, everyone forgets us black PPL. We worked our asses off for you in your cotton fields and this is how you repay us? This ain’t cool dawg, not cool at all.

Are you saying that I’m racist?

Randy: HELL YEAH, dawg. THAT’S RACISM!

. . . .no.

Randy: Dawg, watch, Imma tell mah brothas and Homie Gs to put bullets in your house! Dawg, you watch out!

Damn it, I said I’ll fix it.

Randy: Ya better dawg. . .

O_O *mutters* this is what happens when PPL are drunk kids, maybe I shouldn’t’ve added this storyline.

Fox Corporate: Friggin’ show you! *throws shoes*

*Mr. Fox corporate accidentally misses and hits Randy on the head, thus making him unconscious*

Divinity_123: PPL, damn it, no one in this room is racist.

Smn Cwll: *takes out a white hoodie with a cone shaped top*

Divinity_123: -_- Except him. . .

Smn Cwll: Sng alrdy!

Dvnty_123: n nght nd n mr tm / Thnks fr th mmrs vn thgh thy wrn't s grt / H tsts lk y / nly swtr / n nght nd yh, n mr tm / Thnks fr th mmrs / Thnks fr th mmrs / S, h tsts lk y / nly swtr!

Smn Cwll: BOOOOOOOOO!

You ain’t supposed to use vowels Simon.

Smn Cwll: Sht p u fr00b.

I’m no fr00b, I’m just Divinity_123’s alter ego.

Divinity_123: And this has something to do with anything cause?

Cause that’s cool right? Alter egos are cool. . .

Divinity_123: -_- Not really. They’re not even semi remotely cool.

Fox Corporate: Aight, PPL, shut the hell up! You, Divinity_123 and Divinity_123’s alter ego, are going to continue your journey to raise money for cancer.

Divinity_123: You’re evil. . .O_O Why do you want to suddenly want to be a charitable person?

Fox Corporate: Well, I recently learned that donating money gets written off as a tax credit. I’m making money by donating.

How much do we get paid?

Fox Corporate: Five bucks an hour would suffice.

Cheap *******. . .

Fox Corporate: O_O What was that?

Nothing. . .

Fox Corporate: Just sign this contract. . .*takes out contract*

Divinity_123: Um, sure, yo, person-who-is-typing-this-fic, you got a pen?

Naw man. . .I’ve got no pen.

Divinity_123: Racist. . .just cause I’m all the colors of the rainbow.

That’s right, I’m just a stupid redneck racist from down south in Texas.

Fox Corporate: That’s a stereotype, I’m a Texan, and I’m still a Houston Rockets fan.

Divinity_123: So?

Fox Corporate: Well, Tracy and Yao are respectively black and Chinese. . .

Whatever, just give us the damned contract.

Fox Corporate: *evil smirk* Here you go. . .

*slo-mo*

*A description-less gurl emerges from nowhere in particular*

Gurl: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Star Wars Music*

*Fat-mo*

Whoops, I meant Fast-Mo. . .

*Stupid moron. . . .erm: Fast-mo*

Divinity_123: Who the hell are you?

Gurl: Mix.

Divinity_123: Really? You look a lot like the female playable character in Pokemon Diamond and Pearl. . .

Yeah you do. . btw, are you Mix the writer or Mix the character in Destiny Journeys?

Mix: I’m Mix the writer. . .the DJ character has real issues and is quite oblivious that Seito and Suki-kun are obviously infatuated with her.

Divinity_123: Interesting. You got a pen?

Mix: *nervous laugh* Uh. . .no


?-- REWIND ?--

*Mix is currently shoving her pen up her nose*


---> Fast Forward --->

Mix: Yeah. . .I don’t have a pen. Anyway, you won’t need one! that contract is a scam! You’ll be a slave! *eyes bulging* A FRIGGIN’ SLAVEEEE YOU’LL DIIIIIIE FROM THE ENDLESS TORTURE! FOX WILL KILLL YOU!

Meh, who cares. -_-

Mix: Who cares? He’s a Vulpix for God’s sake!

Fox Corporate (Vulpix): How the hell do you know?

Mix: Uh, let’s see, you smell like a Vulpix, *pinches nose shut* you taste like a Vulpix *licks fur* and you look like a Vulpix. *shuts eyes*

Fox Corporate: -_- Damn you, you will not spread this, understand? Gimme the contract when you’re done signing. I’ll be in my office. *purrs*

Mix: -_- You’re a fox, foxes don’t purr.

Whoops, I’ve to rewrite that.


Fox Corporate: -_- Damn you, you will not spread this, understand? Gimme the contract when you’re done signing. I’ll be in my office. *howls*

Divinity_123: What’s with the contract anyway?

No idea.

Divinity_123: I wasn’t asking you, you’re too unintelligent.

. . . .you should get shot.

Mix: O_O Do you guys read contracts before you sign them?

Divinity_123: *shakes head*

No, I can’t read.


Mix: Then how do you write?

I can’t.

*There’s a mysterious silence*

Mix: Um, I’m not even going to ask. . .*takes contract and begins to read*


KJSfgkggfu gsiudgfdsuf g Contract © Fox Twenty-First Century


When I sign this contract, I am liable to becoming a dumbass slave of Gerrard Foxley the Vulpix. I will do whatever the hell Gerrard Foxley the Vulpix commands without even a single thought of discrepancy. I will travel to a magic land called SPPf and will interview every damned character there so I can earn Gerrard Foxley the Vulpix lots and lots of money (even though he's filthy rich). SIGN NOW!


- Gerrard Foxley the Vulpix of © Fox Twenty-First Century

Sign Here xX_______________Xx, xX_______________Xx, xX_______________Xx



Divinity_123: Meh, it doesn’t sound so bad, *shrugs* I’ll sign it.

Same here, we need a pen.

Mix: O_O . . .are you two mad?

No. We aren’t angry.

Divinity_123: It also means crazy you ch00b.

LOL, I didn’t know XD

Mix: Whatever *shrugs and makes a pen appear* here, go nuts. -_-

Divinity_123: *signs contract*

Erm, I have no idea how to sign contracts. . .

Mix: This dude’s nuts. . .

Divinity_123: You get used to it after a while

Mix: LOL, okay, dude. You get a pen. . .and then you handwrite your last name.

Two problems, I’ve no idea how to handwrite, and I’ve no last name.

Mix: Oh gawd, I’ll just sign it for you. *signs contract*

Divinity_123: *takes contract* You do notice that you signed your last name, right?

Mix: Huh? *grabs contract*

Divinity_123: Hah, you’re gonna be a slave too! SICK! We can wear matching clothes and stuff.

Mix: . . .I didn’t just-

Fraid’ so Mixy.

Mix: . . . .crap.

Fox Corporate: *emerges from office* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU’RE ALL MINE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*screen blacks out*

It’s not on air though, how’d we black out?

Fox Corporate: AH HAH! But of course you didn’t see Cameraman Bob!

Cameraman Bob: *waves* Hi!!!1

Mix: O_O This is soooooooo ******. . .

*screen blacks out again*


-----------

Feedback would be nice. . . I know it's a script fic and there's basically no description, but I added some actions and sort of added some uniqueness to it *shrugs*

Shoot me xP