Anything

Started by GalladeIceMan December 22nd, 2007 3:11 PM
  • 993 views
  • 4 replies
Age 26
Gettysburg, PA
Seen December 6th, 2008
Posted December 6th, 2008
117 posts
15.5 Years
I'd do anything to hold you in my arms,

and as you quit, I will think there's no charms.

You won't break my heart, much less as reach despair,

just go ahead and say "au contraire," you won't believe me but i'm there.

Pop all of my interesting baloons of fun, and turn it upside down,

well, you really don't know how to frown.

That's why I want to stay with you,

and keep me from reaching blue.

Velco, lace, and thread will sew back my strewn apart bed.

Try to get in my head, you will find nothing except the flare and dead.

Please stay with me, hence my soul will be at rest.

It's just a test. Don't wind up like a crest.


I'm just 11, my first poem, please, i'm not good at this stuff.
All critisicm is encouraged.
--PC Family
Evil Twin-Andy1582
Brother-Hero of Time Link




FC: 3995-5358-0857

If you leave a bible out in the wind and rain,
It will rot away.
Our bible is the wind and rain!
Age 32
Flushing, New York
Seen December 29th, 2008
Posted September 7th, 2008
490 posts
15.9 Years
It's sort of messy, but not bad. Not that I encourage untidy writing, I do it a lot as well, but I think it's fine. I like how you used French in there, adds a little originality. Well, you definitely write better than average 11 year olds. Good job and be sure to improve on it. :)

I'll Be Back Soon. Await My Revival!
: | GAME NAME: EriK | FRIEND CODE : 2406 1984 7161

Age 26
Gettysburg, PA
Seen December 6th, 2008
Posted December 6th, 2008
117 posts
15.5 Years
thanks Romance Hero. I'm in gifted and talented, we're doing the poetry unit, so I figured i'd give it a shot.
--PC Family
Evil Twin-Andy1582
Brother-Hero of Time Link




FC: 3995-5358-0857

If you leave a bible out in the wind and rain,
It will rot away.
Our bible is the wind and rain!
Age 32
Flushing, New York
Seen December 29th, 2008
Posted September 7th, 2008
490 posts
15.9 Years
thanks Romance Hero. I'm in gifted and talented, we're doing the poetry unit, so I figured i'd give it a shot.
Gift and Talented ... as a class? That's quite interesting! Kind of like, Arista or Archon, in my school, for a bit more intellectual students. Very Nice~

I'll Be Back Soon. Await My Revival!
: | GAME NAME: EriK | FRIEND CODE : 2406 1984 7161