Poem: Playing 'Fresh Start' Over and Over and Over
** Profanity that I'm assuming might be stripped out. Read at your own prerogative. I'd like an extremely harsh critic just to go through this and tell me what's absolute crap so that I can do better edits and learn. So yeah.
I promise you I tried,
Just maybe a bit too hard.
And now it's all over.
Grab me my coat,
I'm heading home.
If only life could be
That simple.
I wish I could simply
Start over.
And if I got my wish,
I think it would be best,
If we said our goodbyes,
Right now.
So shake my hand
And kiss my cheek
We might meet again,
Some other week.
But babe I'm leaving you.
I'm heading out of town.
Don't look for me
Not now, just wait a bit.
Let me come to grips
With this new world.
I'm hating every single second,
Of everytime I look down that hall.
So give me a break please,
Just let me take my leave.
What the **** is wrong with me?
What the **** is wrong with them?
Answers I may never know,
But it's the questions
That plague me.
So I'm wiping the slate clean.
But gotta dump the old.
You'll always be a dear old friend,
In faded photograph.
Maybe I'll think of you
Years later in a new life.
But now you're just reminding me
Of failures I relive
Again
And again.
So goodbye everyone,
Don't miss me much-
I know you won't.
Maybe I'll miss you though,
In time. (Just give me time)
But,
Perhaps,
I don't think so.
REDLINES would be killer for this one. As an actual aspiring poet who needs to learn, it would help me a lot to cut up my piece and show me exactly what I'm doing wrong. Thanks <3