• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.
    Register

The Pain

AnimeDDR110

Twizzers!
517
Posts
16
Years
    • The Pain

    Its the pain
    just the pain
    only the pain
    its killing me on the inside
    and punching us on the outside

    I want to avoid the cutting
    but its not worth it
    because i'm already
    rotting away
    what else could happen to me, or you?

    I'm the one thats being bullied
    i'm the one that kicks myself
    when i'm dumb
    i don't wanna change
    but you really do

    I am you
    i am me
    i am everyone that revolves around me
    i'm the one that brings you to a stand
    i am, your pain
     

    PunkerThanThou

    way too punx for giraffes.
    134
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Age 33
    • Seen Jan 31, 2008
    hm. a bit depressing but nevertheless, you're young so your potential is thriving.

    "I am you
    i am me
    i am everyone that revolves around me
    i'm the one that brin    gs you to a stand
    i am, your pain"

    that is pretty damn deep. but i think you lack the secondary emotions that come with pain- you describe vividly what is happening to you, why not describe how it feels to, for instance, try and restrain yourself from self harming? what does the pain feel like? give it color. a substance. :]
     

    AnimeDDR110

    Twizzers!
    517
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • the main point of this was to spread this. notice at the last line of each stanza (except the 4th), talks about you getting pain. the pain in the end comes back to you, the reader.
     

    PunkerThanThou

    way too punx for giraffes.
    134
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Age 33
    • Seen Jan 31, 2008
    AnimeDDR110 said:
    the main point of this was to spread this. notice at the last line of each stanza (except the 4th), talks about you getting pain. the pain in the end comes back to you, the reader.
    Click to expand...

    Yep. I got that. I'm just one of those people that expects a panorama, I like knowing exactly how the pain feels, what it is. But as I said, you did explain your emotions thoroughly.
     
    You must log in or register to reply here.
    Back
    Top