Spankings, ooohhhh Page 2

Started by ^^NICK^^ v.3.0 July 8th, 2004 8:42 PM
  • 1809 views
  • 50 replies
Celadon, Kanto
Seen August 25th, 2010
Posted August 22nd, 2005
2,941 posts
19.2 Years
I would never spank my kids. My parents threatened to spank me once in my life, and the thought of it terrified me beyond belief.

Some of you argue that any other form of reinforcement besides spanking doesn't work, but it's only because the parents give in. If they would be effective about reinforcing their punishments, then they would work, and the world would be a better place.

Children learn from their elders, especially their parents. No one has the right to hit another person, child or not. I stand by the belief that a child can be taught through positive reinforcement, and by parents setting the example for their children. It goes much deeper than what punishments they use. If parents use behaviors that they tell their children not to do, then what does that tell the children. That's another reason their punishments do not work. An example of this would be, if a parent smokes, and tells their kid it's bad to smoke, the kid is much more likely to pick up a cigarette and try it, because the parent does it anyway.

In conclusion, spanking is not the way to tell a child right from wrong. Kids are a lot more intelligent than we give them credit for. Parents just need to follow through with their punishments, like taking away television, or giving them time outs, no matter how much the kid whines about it. That's the only problem with non-spanking discipline. It would work if they stuck to it.
Sometimes you are tired.
Sometimes you are hungry.
Sometimes you are angry.
Sometimes you just don't think you have it in you.
Those are the days.
Those are the most important days.
Those are the days when you need it most.
Those are the days that you want it most.
Those are the days you have the most.
[COLOR=Plum]

Chairman Kaga

living in the past

Age 35
Male
Kitchen Stadium
Seen March 8th, 2013
Posted January 31st, 2012
12,044 posts
19.2 Years
Children are usually only spoiled when they get every single possession they want without any argument from their parents...that's not a natural attribute of children, but one given to them by parents who are either irresponsible or too benevolent for their own good. Normal, unspoiled children, however, are more likely to listen to reason or respond positively to discipline via taking away priviledges and things of that nature.

Eliana

The |R a m p a g e|

Age 32
www.thepeopleunited.net
Seen February 18th, 2010
Posted April 25th, 2006
17,195 posts
19.5 Years
No. its child abuse.
According to israeli law (lol i looked XD), if a parent hurts a child in any way on purpose, the parent must be in jail for 3 years lol
[A N T I -F L A G]
T H E I R | S Y S T E M | D O E S N ' T | W O R K | F O R | Y O U

WE'RE TIRED OF LIES WE WANT THE TRUTH. [Turncoat]
[Sanity is not Statistical] --1984
No, I'm not back, I'm just laughing at the mediocrity of corrupted 'authority'. <3
Celadon, Kanto
Seen August 25th, 2010
Posted August 22nd, 2005
2,941 posts
19.2 Years
Ya and how many new parents give the kid everything they want so they will shut up?

Then it isn't a fault of the child, is it? It's a learned behavior from parents, which they may be doing intentionally or not. Either way, the child does not deserve to be hit.

I've also noticed that a lot of the people who agree with spanking have been hit during their childhood as well. It all goes back to the examples parents set for their kids. If your parents had not hit you, I bet your opinion would probably be a lot different.

And please note that I have not used names. I don't want to single anyone out or make them feel badly for their opinions. So please don't take it as such.
Sometimes you are tired.
Sometimes you are hungry.
Sometimes you are angry.
Sometimes you just don't think you have it in you.
Those are the days.
Those are the most important days.
Those are the days when you need it most.
Those are the days that you want it most.
Those are the days you have the most.
[COLOR=Plum]

Eliana

The |R a m p a g e|

Age 32
www.thepeopleunited.net
Seen February 18th, 2010
Posted April 25th, 2006
17,195 posts
19.5 Years
Yeah...... And some parents are mental....it doesnt happen often but what if the parent is schitzophrenic and cant tell what they are doing? yes they should be locked away but....who knows....
[A N T I -F L A G]
T H E I R | S Y S T E M | D O E S N ' T | W O R K | F O R | Y O U

WE'RE TIRED OF LIES WE WANT THE TRUTH. [Turncoat]
[Sanity is not Statistical] --1984
No, I'm not back, I'm just laughing at the mediocrity of corrupted 'authority'. <3
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted July 9th, 2009
5,902 posts
19.7 Years
Well, it depends. I would never, ever hurt my kids, but sometimes whenever they won't obey you, then you have to spank them. Not hard, but enough to get the point across that you're serious. Trust me - If you only yell at your kids, or do something that doesn't really get their attention, and make them feel like they're not being punished, then that will get old very quick.

My cousin does that with her children. Whenever they are doing something wrong, she's like, 'No honey, don't do that!', and you know what? The child does the exact opposite. Her 3 year old daughter is honestly a terror to be around. She won't listen to you, she talks back, and all of that stuff, and it's because she hasn't been disciplined.
My mother has spanked my brother and I before, and I'm actually glad that she did. It taught us who was boss, and I don't disrespect her at all. She did a good job teaching us manners and everything, and she didn't go overboard with it. She never abused us, she only spanked us whenever we deserved it, and it wasn't so bad. Sure, I didn't like it, but I'm still alive, and I love my mother. She's the nicest and most caring mom that anyone could have.

I have some more stories to back this up too, if anyone wants to read them, lol. =P
Age 35
Stalking you on the Who's Online page >D
Seen February 19th, 2014
Posted August 29th, 2010
5,062 posts
19.3 Years
Well, I don't think I'll spank my kids unless they did something truely awful and deserving of it. I was spanked as a child... with a wooden spoon. Those hurt... a lot. But it did teach me right from wrong I suppose... I mean, after being hit with that a lot I learned what not to do in fear of being hit again. Once my mom spanked me and the spoon broke... that memory will be with me forever.

As for being to lenient and giving in when giving a time out or something... I don't think I'll have an issue with that. My parents would always give in to me and even more to my sister. But I'm a bossy big sister and I never give in to my sister. It bothers me so much when my parents give her whatever she wants. They'll say they won't buy her anything... and then eventually they'll give in and get her whatever she wants. I hate it! They never gave in to me... plus I knew when to quit asking and just listen to my parents. If I tell my sister I won't do something for her... I won't do it... no matter what.
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted July 9th, 2009
5,902 posts
19.7 Years
Oh, I know, and I really don't think that you should send your child to his or her room. I mean, when you're angry at them, then they really don't want to be around you anyway, and so their room is kind of like an escape for them.

I like what my aunt, who is a nurse, did one time whenever her son got into a lot of trouble once. He snuck out one night with his friends, and when she woke up and found out, she locked his window, (Where he had climbed out) and then left the front door unlocked, but she set a metal chair up against the door. She stayed up all night worrying about him, but finally, at about 5:00 in the morning, when he opened the front door to get in, the chair crashed onto the tile floor, and made a loud noise. XD So, he was caught, and my aunt made him stay all day with her at the hospital where she works, helping out with all of the patients. And since he was gone all night and didn't sleep, he was tired, but she didn't let him take a nap, lol. She made him walk around EVERYWHERE with her the next day. It's funny; he never snuck out again!
Age 32
New Jersey
Seen September 23rd, 2013
Posted May 22nd, 2008
3,641 posts
19 Years
Funny story. It's funny how some people never learn, like a friend of mine. She knows her parents are really strict, yet she got suspended twice this year. I feel bad for her, because most of the time she's miserable living with her parents. She gets beatings, too.
signature
Seen July 7th, 2008
Posted April 5th, 2006
2,943 posts
19.7 Years
I agree with Nick, Blue and Kayleigh. Spanking should only be when the parent has already yelled and warned the child very very many times. If a parent continues just warning the child, the kid will eventually think that real punishment doesn't exist. I'm also thankful my mum spanked me a lot of times (not saying I liked it) but it taught me to be mature and not be so dimwitted.

Pssh, spanking only makes matters worse, my ****. It only gets bad when you start abusing the child. Not if you do it eventually. =/

*dies*
Age 31
A house on planet Earth.
Seen September 10th, 2009
Posted May 28th, 2009
591 posts
19.6 Years
It's not right to hit your kid every time they talk back at you, do something wrong.....
But if you do it occaisonally, they might learn, if you overdo it, they'll hide...psh, children these days....*looks at age* oops, I'm a children!
Beautiful gorgeous.

Ryoutarou

Seen April 2nd, 2023
Posted December 29th, 2020
30,927 posts
19.3 Years
Um...yea...Anyways thers nothing wrong with a SPANKING but if you do anything harder it's abuse if you hit a kid it's abuse if you do it with something other then a belt most of the times its abuse. Most parents now these days dont really know where to draw the line and think they can get on their kid for every little thing they do
Age 32
New Jersey
Seen September 23rd, 2013
Posted May 22nd, 2008
3,641 posts
19 Years
It's not right to hit your kid every time they talk back at you, do something wrong.....
Yeah, LOL, if that was the case, i would get hit very often. Ya know, my 8 year old sister hits me more than my parents ever did.
signature

Kairi

The Original $staff_title

Female
Seen February 3rd, 2021
Posted February 1st, 2016
10,285 posts
19.7 Years
Im very impressed that an actual discussion is taking place in a topic, wonderful change.

First of all I never intend on having children or anything that requires sustenance of life, because Im simply terrible at doing that. However, I suppose I can say what I think. Let me start by saying that my views are probably pretty warped since growing up I havent yet been punished by my parents. No time outs, no spankings, no nothing. Heck when I felt I had done something wrong Id sometimes punish myself, but never by my parents .So that being said Im really not quite sure if spankings, time-outs or whatever are effective in rearing a childa good reason I shouldnt have one ne?

I do however find physically hitting someone a very poor way to get anything across be it done lightly by hand or harshly by whip or belt. It can (however not necessarily does as we can see in Kayleighs case) build up resentment and the ideas of releasing emotions in more physical ways, such as maybe hitting something when youre frustrated or whatnot. Iveechan raises a good point thoughso few parents have follow-through these days. Be it with punishments, or keeping up on what their children are doing, to making an effort to understand them a little better, if I had to say one thing I think is needed to parent a child follow through would be it. Id also say balance and a few other things, but I wont dwell on that.

I on occasion like Jordan will hear mothers just screaming at their kids to get them to stop what theyre doing. I find that more selfish than anything since theyre going about it in such a way thats more beneficial to them than the raising of the child, such as saving them from embarrassment in public places.

Triforce89 (with theinteresting avatar) has a point though that if parents sit back and let their kids do pretty much anything without being taught the whole cause effect thing will find their butts in some pretty tough terrain when their children grow out of the stage where the harm to the parents is minimal. This is again the parents being selfish and not making an effort to do things to embitter their childs growth, rather they do what gets the kid out of their face and troubles for the time being.

For the argument that spankings are more effective than time outs etc lets think about why that may be. Its because it does cause them harm, it hurts! Maybe theres no scar but the concept, as far as I can see behind a spanking is to teach the child not to do wrong things because there will be a painful punishment, which in this stage is carried out by a spanking. It puts a fear into the child, thats why it produces the result it does.
To add to this, perhaps the reason spanking is effective and popular is there's no needed follow through--hit the child and it's done, the pain is there, the lesson learned. So in my opinion other methods can work, but this one is much "easier" for a lazy parent.
Age 32
New Jersey
Seen September 23rd, 2013
Posted May 22nd, 2008
3,641 posts
19 Years
I can see your point Abby. I always say I would never hit my kids, but then I think, what would I do if the really screwed up. I do think I'd like hitting them, as I think about it. Maybe I would resort to punishment. Hmm...I guess I'll see if I ever have children.
signature
Age 31
Seen February 13th, 2006
Posted January 30th, 2005
4,731 posts
19.4 Years
I've always thought of spanking kids as child abuse.
Anyways I wouldn't really have a choice because if I don't, my father will and believe me, he hits hard. XD If it were up to me, if they do something really...really bad, I will.
*sigh* Why can't my parents ground me instead of whacking me in the butt. It's killing me.
Age 33
Toronto,Canada
Seen January 20th, 2006
Posted January 17th, 2006
774 posts
19.3 Years
Well,if my child has been bad...VERY bad cuz like,it takes alot for me to get mad,and like,i would spank my child,not because i can,because it teaches my offspring whos the boss and to not do whatever he or she will end up doing in the near future...and plus,I can't really think about This i mean,with my Future job,i won't see my family for a while,so,to think about it,my wife should think about all this...


On this day..we see clearly,Edge is our new champion!
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted July 9th, 2009
5,902 posts
19.7 Years
Well, I do think that Kairi has a point. I don't agree with spanking your child every single time that they do something wrong; that really would be abuse. And plus, you don't ever want to hit them whenever they are young. When children are really young, and I'm talking about a few months old, then there's really no way that you can spoil them, because they're totally dependant on you, and you have to take care of them almost all of the time.

Though, once they are older, then yelling at them every time that they do something wrong will not be effective after a while. It may work at first, but sooner or later the child learns that, 'Hey! All she's going to do is yell at me. That isn't hurting me, so I'll just ignore her', etc. Trust me, I've witnessed this, and I know from experience, unfortunately. ~_~ That still doesn't mean that you need to go straight for the belt and pop them, though. I would only say to give them a little, not hard, pop on the hand or something, so they'll learn that no means no. It may seem like abuse, but as long as you don't go over-the-top then they won't be hurt. It says that it's okay in the Bible, as long as you don't abuse your child, but that's just what I go by. I don't resent my mother in any way for spanking me; I think that I probably would have those feelings if all she did was yell, though. Who wants to hear a parent yelling? That's more annoying than a spanking, in my opinion. And really... Unless you teach your child discipline, then they might do something really dangerous, and if they don't have a slight fear of you, just to know that you're the parent and they're the child, then they won't obey you. They'll think they're too good or something.

I know someone who once left her three year old daughter with her grandmother, who can't see, at her apartment one time. After the mother had left, the little girl ended up running out of the front door, and out onto a main, really busy street, and of course this scared her grandmother to death because she couldn't see her. She called for the little girl to come back, but she wouldn't listen. Thankfully, no one ran over her, and a man found the little girl and brought her back over to her grandmother's house.

This just goes to show that you have to get your kids to listen to you, and let them know who is boss. This little girl has only been yelled at, or given time-outs, or something that really didn't bother her too much, and she's learned to not listen to anyone because she knows that they won't do anything to her.