Kingdom Hearts 2: The Other Way (PG-10+; Re-posted NOT Re-written) Page 6

Started by The Mega Champion January 20th, 2008 3:45 PM
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  • 132 replies

The Mega Champion

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Age 33
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Ohio
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
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15.7 Years
^^^I'd LOVE to get into a flame war with you... but... I don't have the time. It's OVER. So...... PLEASE LEAVE MY FANFICTION ALONE.

You have no idea how immature you are acting by responding to my fanfiction with the way you just responded.

Or........ do you?

Nevermind. If I offended you, I'm sorry. I don't have time to be banned, either.
Controversial person with controversial opinions apparently

Alter Ego

that evil mod from hell

Age 35
Touhou land, grazing danmaku all the way
Seen August 8th, 2010
Posted June 4th, 2010
5,751 posts
17.9 Years
Didn't you just ask for opinions on that?

I'd love to have a flame war with you too, but I think I'll just thank you for proving my point instead. ^_^
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Nick

Seen 3 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
^^^ I didn't prove ****.

JUST LEAVE IT ALONE. Please?
You're asking people to leave this fic alone, yet... in your last post in this series of walls of text, you say:

P.P.S: So? What did you think? Overall... was it at least an okay/decent fanfic?
Which asks us, the Community, what we think of this fanfiction of Pokémon meet Kingdom Hearts and I have to say, you're being extremely obnoxious by ignoring every tip thrown at you and continuing your behemoth rampage of senseless anger. You know by posting this publicly you're going to get feedback of people who both dislike your fiction and who like it. That's just the way it is. Nobody is going to leave that fact alone and asking them to is just a mistake on your part. And I can only assume your response will be full of caps and possibly another curse word thrown in there asking me to leave it alone as well, stating that you don't want to cause a flame war when you've already done just that all on your own. Seems more like just a burning of this section than one with others, though. So,.. yeah.

How did I feel about this? I was only pointed out to this fanfiction by some of my friends and I've only read a few chapters of it, and I must say... wow. It's certainly interesting. But I have to say, I stopped about... 1/4th of the way in every post I read being unable to bear any longer. I've read through the majority of this thread and noticed others have offered their suggestions as well, yet you ignored them. There is a reason they are offering their criticism to your fanfiction and it's a shame you don't realize that they are trying to help you. I'm sorry to tell you this, but nobody is going to, nor can they, hold your hand online. Especially when you're posting your own content for the world to see. Like I said, that's just not how it works.

I strongly recommend you review what everyone has told you and attempt a new fanfiction doing what people suggest. Review your own work before you post it to the public. Ask friends of yours to read it. Ask a few people you haven't spoken to on a friendly basis (those are the most likely to tell you the truth of your content). You have to be able to respect their views on it, reflect on their words, and take action. Writers don't get famous for ignoring the public demands. The majority of them depend on the public in order to be successful and that's what you have to do. Though you may argue with my responding, it was an important point that I personally wanted to get across since many others have tried. Though I'm sure this will be a failed attempt, it was worth it. Just don't be so headstrong and re-read this post, as well as the others, at a future date and do that with an open mind.

Bottom line: We aren't here to trash your fanfiction. We're here to help you. It's as simple as that. If you are too ignorant (that means not knowing, in case you don't know) to realize that, you need to grow up and act your age.

Zet

Age 33
Male
Brisbane, Australia
Seen September 29th, 2021
Posted May 16th, 2020
7,687 posts
15.7 Years
I gotta say, that mixing both kingdom hearts and nintendo wasn't the best of ideas, more importantly if this is a re-post of your fanfic, what happened to chapters 1-27? you kinda just left this hole to the start as in whats happening and your chapters were short and to the point. Usually it's good to leave cliff hangers in some chapters to keep the readers on the edge waiting to see the next chapter. I do admit this has potential, but you need to ask yourself "how can I make this better?" and at times I just found it a chore to read some of your chapters so I had to start speed reading until I couldn't be bothered any more to read.

You do have room to increase your writing skills but personally I think it's best if it isn't game related stuff since then you'll be getting no where with just to the point chapters which will be short. Take a long look at other peoples fanfics that aren't so short when it comes to chapters, see how they made them longer but adding more detail and making the quality better for readers to stay reading and can't wait for the next chapter to be released.

As for seeing the fighting you tried to start with Alter Ego, that was just childish that you couldn't accept the c&c, people need criticism to go further and advance their skills(as well as comments of course)

The Mega Champion

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Age 33
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Ohio
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
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15.7 Years
Because when I originally posted it, it was closed for stupid reasons.

I didn't feel like starting from Chapter 1, so, I started off from the last chapter that I posted from the original thread that was closed.

Also... if you REALLY want to see Chapter 1-27 (although I'm sure you don't since you're flaming my fanfic) here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3043841/1/Kingdom_Hearts_2_The_Other_Way
Controversial person with controversial opinions apparently

Alter Ego

that evil mod from hell

Age 35
Touhou land, grazing danmaku all the way
Seen August 8th, 2010
Posted June 4th, 2010
5,751 posts
17.9 Years
Because when I originally posted it, it was closed for stupid reasons.
Well, if you had actually read what you were linked to back then instead of disregarding it:

Your thread might result closed if it doesn’t meet at least these 4 basic factors!
Plot
You’ve got to have a good plot. The plot is basically the story of your fic; a formation of incidents that gradually take shape throughout the write. Your plot should not be predictable. Deviate from the norm, because otherwise you won’t progress. A predictable plot can result in something boring and monotone. It’s always good to innovate; as long as you don’t do it blatantly and recklessly. Nevertheless, if you try to be too unpredictable it might result confusing. It’s always recommended to keep realism.
Your plotline is vague and confusing to say the least. A lot of the time, it's just battle scenes that don't actually create any development in plot or characters and even in the end it just feels like nothing was really ever explained.

Flow
Your story has to flow. This is crucial if you want people to wholly understand your plot. Chapters should not be too irregular. Try not to make them sloppy or short; elaborate on the dialogues and descriptions. The reader should understand both of these if you keep them clear and evenly paced. Keep a coherent continuity on the plot, and don’t succumb to the desire of rushing an event. In fan fictions, characters should stay similar to their established behavior and their attitudes should not be drastically twisted.
This encloses dialogue too.
A lot of your chapters look hastily written (lack of description, glaring grammatical errors, copy-paste like approaches in the battle chapters etc.), and plot continuity is weak at best. You were also posting several chapters a day at times, unless I'm much mistaken, and that's just not enough time spent on the individual chapters, no matter how you slice it.
Mechanics (grammar, spelling, etc.)
Your story should be readable. The reader has to be presented with a clean array of words and proper punctuation. Otherwise, the meaning of words can be misunderstood or completely disregarded by the reader. You have to keep proper grammar in a good story to formulate ideas. Verb agreement is required for this, as well as proper tense use. You can really confuse readers if you wander away from a continuing verb tense.
Bad spelling may interfere with the desired meaning of a word, and thus create confusion on interpretation.
You have grammar and spelling errors all over the place. Misuse of commas, full stops, and particularly ellipsis and exclamation marks, a lot of typos scattered throughout etc. This, alongside the lack of description and glaring similarities, is a major contributing factor to why your chapters look rushed. A simple spelling check and some elementary-level grammar would already have done this a world of good, which - again - leads me to believe that you didn't even re-read your chapters before posting.

Description
Your story has to have good description. You want people to picture its events as clearly as possible! Elaborate on details, mention characteristics of the environment; describe factions, faces, looks; compare reactions, portray the panorama with as much detailing as possible to achieve good imagery.
You have next to no description in your fanfic. 95% is pure telling and about 5 showing something; it should be closer to the opposite.


Again, the rules warn you, in eye-catching red text, that failing to meet even one of these criteria may result in your thread being locked. Your fic has some serious shortcomings on all four points. You were told, in some detail, that this level of writing was not up to standard in thread for your pokémon crossover fic prior to it getting locked, but you chose to disregard these comments and just plow on with the exact same style. I should think that a thread lock is the obvious consequence. :\
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