The Meaning Of Life?

Started by kidpunk January 26th, 2008 5:51 PM
  • 1193 views
  • 6 replies
Age 28
Male
New Jersey
Seen September 3rd, 2013
Posted October 1st, 2011
731 posts
15.3 Years
The Meaning Of Life?

Is there a meaning for life?
is there a time to be sad
a time to be glad
a time to be mad?
Does every human have their sense of belongingness?
Do we all wish to die
wish to live
wish to suffer
wish to have wealth?
Do we need to have everything we own
or should we be nice and share?

I once asked a man about this
and he said;
Life is for those who only trust it
in themselves and others.
ON, Canada
Seen December 27th, 2010
Posted August 16th, 2010
457 posts
17.2 Years
Wow. That is a really good poem. Even though it's short, it looks like you put a lot of effort into it because the words mean a lot! Good job. Looks like you're a natural xD.
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Age 31
Male
Disneyland
Seen December 4th, 2022
Posted February 19th, 2022
16,371 posts
17.4 Years
Well, it's a good effort.

Some tips though.
One. You need to separate the first stanza into two parts:

Is there a meaning to life?
Is there a time to be sad?
A time to be glad?
A time to be mad?
Does every human have their sense of belongingness?

Do we all wish to die,
Wish to live,
Wish to suffer,
Wish to have wealth?
Do we need to have everything we own,
or should we be nice and share?
I took out "for" and put "to". "For" isn't the proper word there. Also, capitalization helps.

Next, you could put a bit more effort into finding some rhythm. Yours has some, but when posting a rhyming poem, you should rhythm throughout the stanzas, not rhythm in the beginning, then say other things. It doesn't flow as well. (Though there are poems that do not rhythm, their themes are common throughout and it flows well. If you're going to do this, then work on keeping the flow going.)
Age 28
Male
New Jersey
Seen September 3rd, 2013
Posted October 1st, 2011
731 posts
15.3 Years
yes, i know i repeated a few types of rythmes as i went on. It weird because i thought i put a lot into this poem. I am an expert, i've written poetry forv the past 8 years.

Its weird, i don't put much rhyme into my poems. The next time i'm going to write a poem, its going to be an otimotopeia form (lemme hope i spelled that right xD).

Thats everyone. Your comments will help me go forward to write better poems. Of course, more critisism is excepted =]
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Seen March 12th, 2009
Posted February 17th, 2009
5 posts
15.3 Years
The Meaning Of Life?

Is there a meaning for life?
is there a time to be sad
a time to be glad
a time to be mad?
Does every human have their sense of belongingness?
Do we all wish to die
wish to live
wish to suffer
wish to have wealth?
Do we need to have everything we own
or should we be nice and share?

I once asked a man about this
and he said;
Life is for those who only trust it
in themselves and others.
Wow. That's deep. It is.
Though you might want to work on the rhythm.