Post your problems Page 6

Started by Shiny August 9th, 2007 12:33 AM
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JX Valentine

Your aquatic overlord

Female
Harassing Bill
Seen August 19th, 2020
Posted December 8th, 2012
3,276 posts
19 Years
To gonbeneko: I'd say ignore them and try to befriend the Asian kid. The reason why is because kids with that sort of racism instilled in them by the media or by their parents are only compensating for a lack of self-respect. That is, they've got small ones and feel like they'll be liked if they try to be funny.

However, the kid probably feels like it's life in Hell right now, so you should probably stop focusing on the morons and buddy up with the target. Perhaps the other kids in the class will think aforementioned morons aren't funny and will follow your example. That won't get them to shut up, but frankly, nothing will except maybe a punch in the face. But violence only leads to more problems, so you probably shouldn't go down that route.

To Lady Nicole: If your school has a social worker, it may benefit you to drop by and give them a visit. While it doesn't deal with your father directly, no kid should really have to face that sort of thing. Meetings with the social worker are completely confidential, and chances are, they'll listen to you and help you out of that sort of situation, even if it means getting you away from your father. Trust me. Social workers are always there for you.
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Age 30
Female
G8 meetings
Seen November 12th, 2012
Posted May 9th, 2010
1,133 posts
17.6 Years
Thanks for the support and kindness guys. The advice and ideas really are helping me right now.

I'm not going to tell my mother right away though. I'm still afraid she'll react in the wrong manner again. I'll probably still keep it a secret for a while. I know she's my mother, but she is homophobic like most of you said. I find it best to just let this all pass like you guys suggested, then tell her.


ok, heres a small problem of mine but i cant think of a way to solve it...

so in tech class i sit next to these two stupid, immature boys (just imagine the fun i have). theyre ALWAYS making fun of this one asian kid in the class by going "hey, you wan fry rice? it five darra." and other racist remarks. ive toldd them to stop but they wont. ive even told my teacher. he told them to stop, but they STILL do it. i feel bad for the asian kid.. how do i get the stupid kids to stop?
First of all, racial remarks are everywhere. A lot of them do occur in school. Remember that all people are different. People who make fun of other people are really showing signs of stupidity and low self-esteem. They either have a very hard time themselves, or just do not respect anyone. Eventually, they will say something to the wrong person, and get what they deserve. Yeah. Karma.

Try to be friends with the Asian kid. Find out their interests and see if your's match. Standing up for the person is the right thing to do! You are being the better person in the situation. The immature kids are really showing lack of intelligence.

The only REAL thing you can do is just support the Asian kid, as well as anyone else who has this problem. The kids are probably jealous. If the Asian kid is much smarter than them or just skinnier/better looking, that's probably the case.

My advice sucks. I'm sorry. XD; Those kids should stop what they're doing sooner or later. If you ignore them or just blow them off, they won't have any reason to say anything. People usually, kids especially, make fun of other's for some kind of attention. Once they see you're not watching, they'll stop.



I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.
Have you tried to find out why your father feels this way? Have you done something to maybe give him this idea? If you haven't done anything, then he's probably very stressed. Adults tend to want to take out their stress on their children or someone younger than them, mainly for the fact they believe kids really can't do much. Try talking to him and asking him why he feels this way. If that doesn't work, talk to a guidance couselor and see what things you can do to make your father less selfish. Parents should not want to put down their children. If your father is really stressed, try asking him what's wrong every once in a while, or ask him if their is anything you can do. Even though you're young, much to many adults dispair, you have a lot of power. If he tells you his problems, try to think of some ways to help him.

Okay, lemme get this out, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. Don't think about it either! You would be throwing away so much. People always and do care about you. As a teenager, we go through awkward stages. Teenagers always seem to think people do no want them or like them. (I'm guilty of this myself) There is a time for a boyfriend/girlfriend. The right person will come along. Those girls or boys who brag about their boyfriend/girlfriend are just full of it. Half them probably aren't even dating them for the right reason. The right person does come along, and waiting is a small price to pay! Your friends like you, so why should you care what other's think? You're perfect the way you are.

I REALLY hope that helped. :3
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Age 33
Australia
Seen March 25th, 2011
Posted June 18th, 2009
1,519 posts
15.9 Years
I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.
Dont come to the conclusion that he really hates you forever, first find out whats wrong or what you have done to make him angry and try and have a discussion with your mum for greater help then plan out your reasoning, and no no no do not be paranoid, did you know that at least 10 people in this world will love and treasure you for the rest of their life? and please do not try and commit suicide it just makes your relatives and friends open a mental wound
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Age 32
Female
Australia
Seen August 7th, 2012
Posted August 23rd, 2010
1,120 posts
15.7 Years
I don't think there's anything I can do about my father. I can hear him yelling at my mum right now. He seems to think she shouldn't have any friends of her own and she should be at his beck and call every hour of every day.
I went to see a psychiatrist last year (guess who's fault that was?) and he gave me some anti-depressants after I'd had a ferrous sulphate overdose. You could say I was lucky I survived...Anyway, I was happy after that because my father left but then my soft mother felt sorry for him and insisted he had changed (nope) so she let him come back.
Yeah, my family and friends are what has held me back about killing myself. But sometimes my feelings about myself get so unbearable...

Credit to aragornbird for the Cresselia image :)

Nicole is happy :)
Age 33
Australia
Seen March 25th, 2011
Posted June 18th, 2009
1,519 posts
15.9 Years
I think that your dad needs to see a psychiatrist instead, theres nothing wrong with you, your just under pressure and in a deep state of stress, and Ive never heard such parents act like that before seriously, you should never think about killing yourself dont worry time will fix your wound and that I can assure you
FC: 1375 4598 8027
~He who sings scares away his woes~
Wins: 47 Loses: 4 Draws: 1
Age 32
Female
Australia
Seen August 7th, 2012
Posted August 23rd, 2010
1,120 posts
15.7 Years
You're right, everyone. I think I'll persuade my mum to get the solicitor on him again. She's usually on my side. He's mad! MAD! He'll say something really offensive and make someone burst into tears and then he starts humming happily and you ask him how he feels and he says he feels perfectly content.
I'm usually happy when I'm not at home. That's why I spend so much time shut up in my room on the computer.
Don't worry, I'll sort this out somehow. I can't wait to go to Uni. Oh yeah, and when I said I wanted to go to Uni on the other side of the world, guess what? My mum wanted to follow so she has to bring my dad.

EDIT: I'm really sorry. I don't mean to bring this upon anyone. I wish I kept my mouth shut and never said anything. Everyone's going to like me even less now.

Credit to aragornbird for the Cresselia image :)

Nicole is happy :)
Age 33
Australia
Seen March 25th, 2011
Posted June 18th, 2009
1,519 posts
15.9 Years
Correct once you get him to consult a psychiatrist he'll know what to do just relax, and arent you staying in Canberra whilst your parents stays in Perth? how are they going to follow you?
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~He who sings scares away his woes~
Wins: 47 Loses: 4 Draws: 1
Age 32
Female
Australia
Seen August 7th, 2012
Posted August 23rd, 2010
1,120 posts
15.7 Years
Well it's just that they would have stayed in the UK if I hadn't bothered going anywhere. I swear he's not my dad. I reckon my mother got pregnant with another man lol. No, really. I'll edit this post with a picture of my dad and you'll see what I mean. You'll see me in my profile pic.
Lol. I feel a bit more cheerful now about this, thanks. Maybe I can find a way to laugh at the situation.

EDIT: This is a pic of my dad.



Lol, no, I'm not joking. Look at the pic of me on my profile. Do I look anything like him? I should think not. XD

Credit to aragornbird for the Cresselia image :)

Nicole is happy :)
Age 37
The Mighty Jungle
Seen December 20th, 2007
Posted September 24th, 2007
73 posts
15.7 Years
Here's something maybe someone neutral can help me with as i'm pretty stuck right now.

In June, i broke up with the girl i had been with for 18 months. We were in love, we planned on moving in together next year when she was finished at uni and after i had done my police training and basically spend the rest of our lives together.

But since she had been back at uni (between October '06 and June '07) we'd been fighting constantly and generally just disagreeing on everything. We wanted different things with regards to having kids, she was insanely jealous of my female friends and excused me of cheating on her (even though i would never cheat) and she basically played with my head alot by insinuating that she was having a relationship with a couple of guys at uni.

So i had enough with all the mind games and decided to end it and she took it really bad. She started drinking alot and was cautioned for drink driving back in July. She got involved with a bad crowd and her brother actually told me she was delivering drugs between places for these guys. I tried to help her because despite everything she was my friend before she was my lover so it was the right thing to do. But she turned on me and threatened me with violence.

Now she won't stop texting and ringing my phone, sending me emails and allsorts and it's driving me crazy. The whole thing was months ago and i just want to move on and i've told her this so many times but she doesn't seem to understand and carries on. She's even been telling my friends lies about me, saying that i hit her and other rubbish when they know that i'd never hurt a fly. Infact the most pain i've inflicted is from a Special Rend when using Palkia but thats beside the point lol

How do i get her out of my life once and for all?

I've met someone else, she's so great. Funny, cute, thoughtful and really intelligent and i don't wanna mess things up with her because of my ex. :(

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Name: Kieran


Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
Wow, that is a problem, well maybe get her some professional help?

Razer302

Three Days Grace - Break

Age 32
England
Seen November 22nd, 2022
Posted December 13th, 2018
3,368 posts
17.1 Years
You can't get her out of your life forever as it sounds like you share friends. She needs help to get away from that bad group she is in. Sounds like she hasn't fully moved on. She will eventually. I think you should look at starting something with the new girl. Sounds like you really like her.
Age 37
The Mighty Jungle
Seen December 20th, 2007
Posted September 24th, 2007
73 posts
15.7 Years
Wow, that is a problem, well maybe get her some professional help?
She was seeing a counsellor but she stopped attending her sessions

You can't get her out of your life forever as it sounds like you share friends. She needs help to get away from that bad group she is in. Sounds like she hasn't fully moved on. She will eventually. I think you should look at starting something with the new girl. Sounds like you really like her.
Yeah that's true, it'd be hard for me to totally ditch her. I just want her to understand that we're not together any more and that the process for us becoming friends again may be a long one.

I was worried that if i started a new relationship that it may seem i'm not being 100% into it as i should be

Thank you both for the advice, it really helped.

My Pokemon Pearl I.D:
0559 4575 9333
Name: Kieran


Zet

Age 33
Male
Brisbane, Australia
Seen September 29th, 2021
Posted May 16th, 2020
7,687 posts
15.7 Years
ok, heres a small problem of mine but i cant think of a way to solve it...

so in tech class i sit next to these two stupid, immature boys (just imagine the fun i have). theyre ALWAYS making fun of this one asian kid in the class by going "hey, you wan fry rice? it five darra." and other racist remarks. ive toldd them to stop but they wont. ive even told my teacher. he told them to stop, but they STILL do it. i feel bad for the asian kid.. how do i get the stupid kids to stop?
Talk to the boy and ask him what he thinks of it and if he feels bad go to the police, last year here in Australia down in Sydney there was a violent brawl of all these racist bashing everyone who wasn't white

I have a problem but I don't think anyone will be able to help.

My father keeps saying I'm disgustingly awful and horrible and wishes I could GO AWAY forever. It's impossible to reason with him. He's narcissistic, he only cares about himself.

Also, this is a different problem:
I feel sooooo depressed. :(
I'm just not good enough for anyone. I get so paranoid that people won't like me. I'll never get a boyfriend. I'm just not good enough. No-one is interested in me. I feel like killing myself.
Look you have all your life to look forward to when you can get away from your father who was most likely to have been raised badly. Hey I always thought about the way I look I would never be loved, at one point I nearly did kill myself because of what I looked like and trust me everyone can find that special someone
Age 32
Female
Australia
Seen August 7th, 2012
Posted August 23rd, 2010
1,120 posts
15.7 Years
You know what? My father was raised badly. When he was five his sister was born and he was sent away to live with distant relatives for a few years. His mother just ignored him completely but didn't ignore his sister. He never talks to his sister because she used to take advantage of the favouratism going on.
Hey, maybe he has something against me because I'm a sister...
I'm not anything like his sister cos I'm always really nice to my brother but still.
Yeah, I'll get away from him. Thanks for the help, everyone. =)

Credit to aragornbird for the Cresselia image :)

Nicole is happy :)

Zanacross

Male
Seen January 25th, 2022
Posted September 11th, 2011
1,118 posts
16.5 Years
To day at school i wrote a story about a gay guy in school for english.
the person i sit next to read it and thought it was about me.
he shouts about it to everyone in my class and everyone comes up to me and starts strokeing me and huging me so i hit the guy next to me in the balls. everone thought i was tring to grab his balls so the spread it round me whole ear that i am gay(wich if i am its not their business,im unsure of my sexualit)

Now none of my freinds will talk to me, the all hate me.
Ive got nofriends now.(well one but hes gay so it dosent help mi cause)

I just wanna know what i can do to have freinds again?? Im evan more muddled up about m sexuality.

If my foster perents find out i dont know what the will do and i know the are gnna find out. =(
Sorry if its im a problem.
Age 37
The Mighty Jungle
Seen December 20th, 2007
Posted September 24th, 2007
73 posts
15.7 Years
To day at school i wrote a story about a gay guy in school for english.
the person i sit next to read it and thought it was about me.
he shouts about it to everyone in my class and everyone comes up to me and starts strokeing me and huging me so i hit the guy next to me in the balls. everone thought i was tring to grab his balls so the spread it round me whole ear that i am gay(wich if i am its not their business,im unsure of my sexualit)

Now none of my freinds will talk to me, the all hate me.
Ive got nofriends now.(well one but hes gay so it dosent help mi cause)

I just wanna know what i can do to have freinds again?? Im evan more muddled up about m sexuality.

If my foster perents find out i dont know what the will do and i know the are gnna find out. =(
Sorry if its im a problem.
First of all........don't apologise for having a problem, everyone has them and it'd be pretty unfair for people to make you feel bad for having one.

As for your problem, i think if your friends are good friends they'll listen to you and just understand it was one of those heated moments and it meant nothing. You may be subjected to a bit of ribbing from your friends but that's how guys are, don't take it personally and embrace it. Just go hang out with them as normal and go from there.

Now, with your sexuality issues, i think that's something only you can decide on. Does writing a story about a homosexual make you homosexual? No, of course it doesn't. If you're attracted to the same sex, then that's something you would probably be better off confronting rather than hiding it. I'm not saying you have to go and scream from the rooftops about your sexuality, but don't kid yourself and cheat yourself.

At your age it's a very confusing time and i hope you come through it. Try not to worry about it and i'm sure it'll fix itself.

My Pokemon Pearl I.D:
0559 4575 9333
Name: Kieran


Caracas,Venezuela.
Seen December 30th, 2017
Posted January 31st, 2017
1,468 posts
18.6 Years
I just want to make a note that to the day of today i dont have any problem that i can actually think of..I am a very happy person and have achieved most of the things that i propose to. I am thankful that i have people that love and support me through everything. I have health and good economical situation. I just finished high school and was accepted to colleges here and in spain. Tomorrow i am going to go to the US for family vacations and i am so looking forward to it.

But yep i have had problems ..problems according to the age of course.. like i suppose most of you have had.Let me share with you that even if i was at the top 10% of my class and excel in some subjects ..i sucked deeply at math.. i struggled for a passing grade sometimes.And in occasions depended on a specific test to pass the term or year.Proving not everyone is perfect.I lived in constant pressure since i didn't tell it to anyone , because i didnt want people to know i could fail. Thankfully all went smooth and i could pass everything .. and like i always wanted nobody did actually notice ,except for the teacher i guess.
Pair:Randall

Razer302

Three Days Grace - Break

Age 32
England
Seen November 22nd, 2022
Posted December 13th, 2018
3,368 posts
17.1 Years
Ok thank you very much.

Wh is life complicated?
Life is complicated because so many things can go wrong. You can plan out exactly what you want to do in your life but then something could happen to change all of that. Like someone could die that you are close to. You could get a cancer and things. But the best thing is having good people around you to talk to about it.

About your problem.
Everyone gets them at some point. I had a few a year or so ago. But now I have everything back to being right. I failed tests and everything. So don't be sorry for having problems.

Try and explain that it wasn't about you but just a made up story. If your worried about your foster parents just explain it fully to them before they hear it from someone else. I'm sure they will understand.

Your friends should stick by you no matter what happens. If they don't then they aren't good friends.

Whatever your sexuality turns out to be just embrace it and don't hide it. If you hide it it can lead to complications later on in life.
Age 29
Male
The Great North Strong and Free
Seen October 7th, 2013
Posted April 6th, 2013
1,931 posts
15.9 Years
You know what? My father was raised badly. When he was five his sister was born and he was sent away to live with distant relatives for a few years. His mother just ignored him completely but didn't ignore his sister. He never talks to his sister because she used to take advantage of the favouratism going on.
Hey, maybe he has something against me because I'm a sister...
I'm not anything like his sister cos I'm always really nice to my brother but still.
Yeah, I'll get away from him. Thanks for the help, everyone. =)
I would have quoted a different post but this was closest.

If your up to it, i don't know how to word it but if you help out your Dad it might help you out too.
Its hard for people to break habits when they started as little kids, as those are the "good days" but remember its not impossible.
He still loves you inside. You probabley do but try to always look him in the eye, and see deeper.

O ya i didn't read much of the replies to this because i'm in a hurry for something but if i repeated anyhting or didn't see the whole problem, sorry.
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Razer302

Three Days Grace - Break

Age 32
England
Seen November 22nd, 2022
Posted December 13th, 2018
3,368 posts
17.1 Years
I would have quoted a different post but this was closest.

If your up to it, i don't know how to word it but if you help out your Dad it might help you out too.
Its hard for people to break habits when they started as little kids, as those are the "good days" but remember its not impossible.
He still loves you inside. You probabley do but try to always look him in the eye, and see deeper.

O ya i didn't read much of the replies to this because i'm in a hurry for something but if i repeated anyhting or didn't see the whole problem, sorry.
This has started a sort of debate. XD

But if you try and look people like that in the eye it doesn't really help. My dad had a good childhood. He was never treated bad. He treated his little sister horrible though. I think that is were it started and nothing was ever done to him when he did something bad. He has been counseling and that hasn't worked. He is currently under investigation form the police due to him kicking my little sister after he had an argument with me and I left so he kicked her instead of me.

Only way for me to get away from it is when I'm at my mums house. I don't really see my dad. I get in from school and am on internet till dinner then after dinner I am in my room all night. So try and avoid him.
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
Okay, a problem, I'm trying to resolve it, but...

Okay, we all know Careful with that Axe, Pichu, and he is seriously pissing me off. My anger had subsided for awhile, but I went and looked in this poem thread were both of us posted, and seeing what he said angered me so bad.

Anyway, I will always post this thing, whatever it is, and he will some find some kind of wrong or fault and smash it into my brain, "IT'S WRONG!! IT'S WRONG!!" and I'm over here going, "You moron."

In conclusion, I always feel targeted by him, abnd I frigging hate it.

So, I've decided to give him one final message that strongly tells him how I feel. And if I could have any pointers for this task, I will thank you.

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you

Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
Maybe let off your steam offline?