Jokes on you Language!

Started by Ársa March 27th, 2008 3:23 AM
  • 1577 views
  • 26 replies
Queensland, Australia
Seen June 6th, 2016
Posted December 9th, 2014
1,830 posts
15.8 Years
Ever heard something in the English language that made you think...wha? Try these:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>)

If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat?

Why don't you ever see the headling "Psychic wins Lottery"?

Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"?

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"?

What's another word for "Synonym"?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have you heard any others?

~T_S

The Bank Vault - An XY Trade Thread

"Oh, I’ve got it! Why of course! The Heartless need a heart!" ~Jack Skellington
Age 35
Wandering the earth in search of myself.
Seen November 15th, 2016
Posted November 15th, 2016
338 posts
18.2 Years
Yay! The perfect opportunity to ruin the joke by flexing my brain muscle.

Why is abbreviated such a long word? - It's Latin, which combines words

Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>) - Definition: condition arrived at by experience or exercise

If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless? - A turtle's shell is not actually its home. It is a defense mechanism. Turtles usually make their 'homes' in rocks, the seabed, or holes in the shore. Therefore, it can be considered 'naked'.

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat? - Anything they want.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"? - This has many explanations. Some more common ones are that psychics aren't actually psychic, or in many denominations of various religions, psychics are puppets for demons. There are too many to list here.

Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"? - It is a misnomer.

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress? - No. Antonyms of Progress include retreat, regression, return, deteriorate, regress, abstain, cease, discontinue, forbear, halt, hesitate, inaction, refrain, stop, etc. (Taken from research on thesaurus.reference.com)

If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"? - Definition: situated at or forming the end or extremity of something. An airport terminal marks the end of a flight.

What's another word for "Synonym"? - Taken from thesaurus.reference.com: Adequation, agreement, alikeness, compatability, conformity, correlation, correspondence, equality, eveness, exchangeability, identity, interchangeability, interchangableness, likeness, match, par, parallel, parity, similarity, synonym, synonymy.
Queensland, Australia
Seen June 6th, 2016
Posted December 9th, 2014
1,830 posts
15.8 Years
Yay! The perfect opportunity to ruin the joke by flexing my brain muscle.

Why is abbreviated such a long word? - It's Latin, which combines words

Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>) - Definition: condition arrived at by experience or exercise

If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless? - A turtle's shell is not actually its home. It is a defense mechanism. Turtles usually make their 'homes' in rocks, the seabed, or holes in the shore. Therefore, it can be considered 'naked'.

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat? - Anything they want.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"? - This has many explanations. Some more common ones are that psychics aren't actually psychic, or in many denominations of various religions, psychics are puppets for demons. There are too many to list here.

Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"? - It is a misnomer.

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress? - No. Antonyms of Progress include retreat, regression, return, deteriorate, regress, abstain, cease, discontinue, forbear, halt, hesitate, inaction, refrain, stop, etc. (Taken from research on thesaurus.reference.com)

If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"? - Definition: situated at or forming the end or extremity of something. An airport terminal marks the end of a flight.

What's another word for "Synonym"? - Taken from thesaurus.reference.com: Adequation, agreement, alikeness, compatability, conformity, correlation, correspondence, equality, eveness, exchangeability, identity, interchangeability, interchangableness, likeness, match, par, parallel, parity, similarity, synonym, synonymy.
Think all you want...This wasn't meant to be taken seriously. As for your "Synonym" experiment, I can only see a few that should actually fit the argument.

But yes, well done on...w/e you did. :P

~T_S

The Bank Vault - An XY Trade Thread

"Oh, I’ve got it! Why of course! The Heartless need a heart!" ~Jack Skellington
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted April 20th, 2020
4,423 posts
15.4 Years
sorry i just have to say this ... if quizs are quizical then what a re tests ? :L :L
No, dude. That's not cool. An innocent poster could post the answer to that unaware of the chaos that it would create.
'It's been a prevalent notion. Fallen sparks. Fragments of vessels broken at the Creation. And someday, somehow, before the end, a gathering back to home. A messenger from the Kingdom, arriving at the last moment. But I tell you there is no such message, no such home -- only the millions of last moments . . . nothing more. Our history is an aggregate of last moments.'

Gerri Shin

  

Male
Burbank, CA
Seen February 17th, 2014
Posted April 13th, 2013
3,575 posts
15.9 Years
sorry i just have to say this ... if quizs are quizical then what a re tests ? :L :L
Here's the answer! Tests Are..... A Nuisance! :D
Equipment:
Custom PC, MacBook Pro (MBPr), 3DSxl Blue, 3DS Midnight Purple, iPhone 4S Green

BakingBluePotatoe

The Red Death Alchemist

Age 28
Female
Catatonia
Seen March 28th, 2016
Posted February 12th, 2016
2,279 posts
15.8 Years
hm...

Why do you park your car in a driveway and drive on a parkway? o_O

Here's the answer! Tests Are..... A Nuisance! :D
nice save there, Gerri! :p

Tausch Mit Mir?: 2208-5032-7062
Proud Member of Chaos Control & Equivalent Exchange!
Outlinks:
Twitter || deviantART Youtube
Potato Buddy

Anxiety.

Walking on sunshine.

Birmingham, England.
Seen February 5th, 2011
Posted June 16th, 2010
1,669 posts
15.7 Years
hm...

Why do you park your car in a driveway and drive on a parkway? o_O



nice save there, Gerri! :p
I thought it was called a road? Just kidding! I didn't know it was called a parkway though... yes, I is stupid.

Er, don't think I actually have any. Wait, let me think (Back to brainic 'things that make you go 'hmmm') Er...

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Just a few from this site I found. So no, I did not think those up.

Also Can I just say...
If a quiz is quizzical than a test is testiful.
Hehehe...
-[Inject Me]-
-

XxZer0xX

......................... Beep.

Age 29
..................My chair?
Seen June 24th, 2009
Posted March 5th, 2009
171 posts
15.3 Years
hm...

Why do you park your car in a driveway and drive on a parkway? o_O Because people are stupid and don't know what to name things before they do something with it.



nice save there, Gerri! :p

I thought it was called a road? Just kidding! I didn't know it was called a parkway though... yes, I is stupid.

Er, don't think I actually have any. Wait, let me think (Back to brainic 'things that make you go 'hmmm') Er...

What was the best thing before sliced bread? Loaves of bread.

Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8? Because packagers don't know how to count.

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Police have to no matter how stupid it seems.

Just a few from this site I found. So no, I did not think those up.

Also Can I just say...
If a quiz is quizzical than a test is testiful.
Hehehe...
Put all my answers in bold.

They say practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Gummy

by fire be P U R G E D

Age 30
Male
Brooklyn, NY
Seen December 26th, 2013
Posted October 26th, 2013
4,518 posts
16.3 Years
¿Por qué es que el pizza llega a su casa más rápida que la policía?
Why is it that the pizza comes to his house more rapid than the police?

Oh wait, the English language? Damn...
Because the Pizza guy is angry at the police for spending all his money at Dunkin' Donuts.


Monotype Fire Challenge

moon

they/them
Seen 11 Hours Ago
Posted 6 Days Ago
37,443 posts
15.5 Years
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

the only one i can think of.
.... I really don't get that.......... what's funny? Is it a pun? Help... XD [/Swede]
paired with Ivysaur

Anxiety.

Walking on sunshine.

Birmingham, England.
Seen February 5th, 2011
Posted June 16th, 2010
1,669 posts
15.7 Years
Put all my answers in bold.

They say practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Because people want us get as close to perfect as possible... I think.
But I don't like practice so... hehehe... I just got out of practicing my Trumpet, thankyou xD

Offtopic
OMG ON MY PC THE CILIT BANG REMIX CAME ON lmao AND NOW WERE TAKING THE HOBITS TO ISENGARD REMIX lmao.. I have the best songs xD
-[Inject Me]-
-

Jesus Freak Josh

In my mind's eye, I see You...

127.0.0.1
Seen May 26th, 2022
Posted October 13th, 2009
2,968 posts
19.2 Years
Why is it that we never call America the land down under?

Why is it called a building if it's completed?

If a laptop, which you type on, is a notebook, than what does that make a PDA, which you can use the touch-screen to write on?

Do bass play in treble, alto or bass?
You're here for a reason you're not a mistake
You are a special creation that God himself made

- KJ-52

Save yourself a few seconds. Call me Josh