Mew's Chosen One

Started by Mew13 July 25th, 2004 7:52 PM
  • 1823 views
  • 21 replies
Age 34
Returning from the shadows
Seen July 3rd, 2006
Posted July 7th, 2005
3,779 posts
19.1 Years
Okay. Here's my new fanfic, as my last one kinda died. I hope you enjoy it!!

Mews Chosen One

By: Mew13

Prologue- This is the story of one girl who is lucky enough to spot Mew. She wants to find Mew more than anything. Is she possibly the trainer for Mew?

Chapter One: A Journey Begins

Kari awoke with a start. Today was finally the day! She was finally being allowed on her Pokemon journey. Kari threw off her cloud print comforter and untangled herself from the sky blue sheets. She raced over to the closet and threw open the white, wicker doors. She yanked out a pair of red capris and a white tank top. She ran to her vanity and pulled her hair back with a red headband and slid her feet into a pair of white flip-flops.

It wasnt until that moment the 15-year-old girl realized it was only dawn. She opened the glass doors to the side of her vanity and stepped out onto her balcony. The slowly rising sun sent golden light cascading over her dainty figure. An early morning breeze toyed with her short black hair as she liked out over her hometown for the last time. With a sigh, she stepped back inside, picked up her bag, and headed down the spiral staircase to wait for her parents to wake up.

Kari was pleasantly surprised to find both of them already awake. Pam Matthews sat in a white robe with curlers in her hair, sipping a cup of coffee. Mike Matthews was already dressed for work, although the bags under his eyes revealed the fact that he had been up all night.

Kari gave a small cough to announce her presence. Morning all! she said brightly. Todays the big day! she added, blue-gray eyes twinkling.

Her parents suddenly realized she was there. Both smiled, and soon, broke into tears. They cried and pleaded.

Oh honey, cant you wait one more year? Mrs. Matthews cried.

Oh KarKar baby, cant you just go to high school like a normal 15-year-old? Mr. Matthews wheedled.

Mom, Dad, weve had this conversation before. Now, if I dont get going, Ill miss Professor Oak! Kari said, hugging each of her parents and exiting quickly.

By the time she reached the lab in the distance, Kari was practically skipping. She couldnt wait to get her very own Pokemon! She left all dignity behind her and raced to the lab.

* * * * * *

Now, Professor Oaks lab was nothing like when Ash got Pikachu. Now, his lab offered a wide variety of starters and even Pokedex colors. Karis mouth dropped as she entered The Starter Room.

The Starter Room resembled a fairly large Day Care Center. Lab workers were rushing around the brightly colored room playing with Pokemon, tending to booboos, and separating scraps. Kari looked around at all of the young Pokemon when Professor Oak came over to her.

Hello there. Can I help you? he said, brushing a loose strand of gray hair back.

Yes, Im Kari. Im supposed to get my starter today!

Oh, of course! he said, checking her name off on a clipboard. You may choose any of the Pokemon here. Then, let me know which one youre taking and well get you a Pokedex.

Kari surveyed the room. There were sooo many types of Pokemon here, she didnt know where to start. A Corsola and Phanpy were playing in a corner and a Growlithe was currently chasing a Poochyena around the room. There was an indoor pool filled with Azuril, Corphish, and even one ugly Feebass. A Blubasaur near the jungle gym was using its vines to tickle a female Nidoran.

Kari went around and around the room, not sure which one to choose. More and more kids came in and grabbed a Pokemon and quickly left. But Kari wanted to find a Pokemon that was perfect. One that suited her just so.

Then, she saw it. A tiny Vulpix was curled up in a corner, napping soundly. It looked rather unusual however. This particular Vulpix was a deep, chocolate brown with a tuft of golden hair at the top of its head. Its tails were the same golden-blonde color and its paws were as pure white as newly fallen snow. She walked up to it, but was stopped by a lab assistant.

I wouldnt do that if I was you, he said, stepping in her path. This little fireball doesnt mix well with any people but me, he said smugly, his dusty brown eyes shining.

Kari swiftly pointed to her left forearm. See this scar? I got it off a Charizard while studying under Nurse Joy. I think I know what Im doing! she said, her gray eyes hardening.

The assistant shook his head as Kari resumed picking up the Vulpix. It merely yawned as is awoke. Kai giggled as it snuggled up to her and resumed its nap.

The lab assistants mouth dropped as Oak scurried over. Oh good, my little Vulpix has finally warmed up to someone! Youll be taking that one then?

Yes, Kari said quietly. The Vulpix sighed at the sound of Karis voice. Yes, youre mine now. Youre my little Aria.

Well, you may pick a Pokedex on your way out.

Kari picked a pink and white Pokedex as she exited the Lab. Just as she touched the door, someone threw it open. She was shoved roughly aside by a rather gruff looking boy.

After dusting herself off, she exited the building and started off down the road. Aria trotted happily beside her. Kari was exited. Nothing could ruin her good mood.

Or so she thought.
To many, a Mew is but a a phantom, a legend dissapearing into thin air. For now, so too must I be. Right now, I am indeed, a phantom.
Age 30
Flitting in and out of here and there.
Seen January 3rd, 2005
Posted January 2nd, 2005
3,408 posts
19.4 Years
This is a really good story, Mew! I love how you portray everything.... {Blabbers on and on about the story so far} XD
{Pants} In conculsion, this is a wonderful story {coughunlikeminecough}, and would you please continue? ^^;
Paired up with: No one at the moment. Not anymore. =(

-Signature seriously under contruction.-

Age 34
Returning from the shadows
Seen July 3rd, 2006
Posted July 7th, 2005
3,779 posts
19.1 Years
Thanks bunches you guys! And anyone who can offer some constructive critism, I would be happy to hear you out! I'm always looking to better my writing!!

Well, here's Chapter 2 for those of you who would like to read it!!

Chaper Two: A Rivalry Begins

At noon, the pair stopped for a bit of lunch. They sat down on the soft, green grass next to the dust red road. The sky was slowly beginning to darken, a sure sign of rain. Kari pulled a small bowl and a bag of Pokepellets out of her bag for Aria. She then rummaged around to find the makings for a peanut butter sandwich.

As they happily munched, Kari saw the silhouette of someone coming down the road. It was hard to tell if it really was a person, as huge gray clouds had overtaken the sky. Soon enough, she realized it was the same boy who had shoved her aside at the lab. Her gray eyes grew stormier and stormier the closer he came.

Once he was about 70 yards away, Kari was able to tell the blob trotting beside him was a Pokemon. And not just any Pokemon, it was a Poochyena. The tiny gray dog bared its small white fangs at Kari and Aria.

Hey! the boy cried. Youre the chick who got in my was earlier today!

Got in your way!? said an outraged Kari. You were the one that shoved me aside!

Well my names Derek, and Im going to be the Pokemon Champion! the boy said, running a pale hand through his mousy, brown hair.

Says you! cried Kari. My names Kari, and Im going to be the Pokemon Champion!

Well then Kari, Derek said tauntingly. I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle!

I accept! Kari shouted. Aria, GO! she said as the Vulpix leapt forward.

Poochyena, I choose you! called Derek.

The two trainers looked each other up and down. Neither had ever battled before, and they werent sure how to proceed.

Suddenly, instinct took over and Kari yelled Aria, Tackle Attack!

This snapped Derek out of his trance and he shouted Poochyena, Tackle Attack back!

The two Pokemon rushed at each other, launching themselves at each other. They were both thrown back by the impact.

Growling, Derek shouted Bite Attack, now!

Kari called out Aria, use your Ember Attack, now!

Poochyena leapt at Aria, its mouth open, and its tiny fangs bared. It was about to land and sink its pointy teeth into Arias flesh, when a stream of fire exploded out of Arias mouth.

As a scorched Poochyena fell to the ground, Kari hugged her Vulpix in congratulations of its victory.

Derek glowered as he called Poochyena back in a flash of red light. He glared menacingly at Kari.

Recoiling slightly, Kari said I fear well meet again, Derek.

Oh, you can count on it! Derek said, scowling.

Kari and Aria watched Dereks figure grow smaller and smaller as he walked into the slowly setting sun.

The pair walked another couple of miles before settling down for the might. Kari unrolled her sleeping bag (which contracted into a two inch cube) and allowed Aria to crawl in.

Sure is quiet in this forest. she thought, looking up at the starry sky. What will tomorrow bring? she wondered as she drifted off.

The stars merely twinkled their reply.
To many, a Mew is but a a phantom, a legend dissapearing into thin air. For now, so too must I be. Right now, I am indeed, a phantom.

capalex65

Anyone need a website done..?

Age 32
Right around there *Points at a map*
Seen March 17th, 2011
Posted April 19th, 2009
914 posts
19 Years
really nice story Mew13 it is a great storu *couchilikemewscough*
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Age 34
Returning from the shadows
Seen July 3rd, 2006
Posted July 7th, 2005
3,779 posts
19.1 Years
Chapter 3: A Strange Encounter

The next week was more or less the same for Kari. She was surrounded by beautiful scenery and a never ending road. Kari was beginning to feel as though her journey was pointless, even mundane. She had no idea what shed see early one morning.

It was dawn. Rose and orange sunbeams took over the sky like arms spread wide in an embrace. Kari stretched her arms and shook Aria into life. The packed up and left, with nothing out of the ordinary happening.

About a mile or so down yet another dust road, Kari caught a glimpse of a pink thing to her left. She turned to look at it and saw a bubble gum pink Pokemon flying toward a crystal blue lake.

Curious, Kari motioned for Aria to follow her. The crept up on the Pokemon, and it turned its triangular shaped head toward them. Kari recognized the cutie from some new discoveries book or other.

Once it had spotted them, the Pokemon turned tail and ran. Slightly shocked, Kari watched it go, wondering what on earth it could have been.

Not but an hour after the encounter with the strange Pokemon, Kari and Aria came upon their 1st town, Mapleleaf City. The pair stopped just outside the town to take a rest and look over the map.

Kari unrolled her map, located Mapleleaf, and fond that this town held her 1st Gym! She excitedly pointed at the Gym sign. Aria giggled and leapt up, bearing its fangs in mock combat.

Upon entering the town, Kari was overwhelmed. Everyone she met was selling something or other. Kari ducked into a Pokemon Center for Aria to have a treatment.

A Nurse Joy picked Aria up with care and quickly examined it. She smiled and exclaimed What an interesting Vulpix! Ive never seen one with coloration like yours.

Yes, my Aria is very special, Kari said.

Well, she seems to be in fighting shape to me! Nurse Joy declared as Aria leapt into Karis outstretched arms. Joy giggled. You two seem to get along very well, too!

Thanks, Kari said as she tickled Arias tummy.

Just then, a man in a tan shirt and tan cargo shorts burst through the Pokemon Centers doors.

Nurse.Joy the man panted. Mew.. its. back again! he added, collapsing into a chair.

Mew!? Kari thought wildly. Is that what I saw!?

Nurse Joy gasped. Oh John! Quick, run and get Officer Jenny and her team! Theyve got a new Pokeball to try!

Too late, said the man, catching his breath. Its escaped again. Took off right to the bottom of the lake.

Nurse Joy sighed. Oh, I wish someone could capture it so we could study it. Wouldnt it be great to be able to learn if all the legends are true?

John also sighed as he shifted in his chair. Yes it would, Joy. But you know as well as I do that theres not a Trainer out there skilled enough to capture it, or a Pokeball strong enough to hold it.

I know, Nurse Joy relented. But its nice to dream.

Kari was about to say something about her encounter with the cat-like Pokemon, but stopped. She quickly thanked Nurse Joy and headed to a PokeMart.

The PokeMart owner was a kindly old man. He was quite large, and balding. Kari bought a Potion, Antidote, Burn Heal, Paralyze Heal, a ton of herbs, a new sketch pad, Pokepellet ingredients, and some nonperishable snacks. After paying for her shopping spree, Kari sat on the steps outside the mart and packed everything away appropriately.

Kari turned to Aria and said, Next stop: Mapleleaf City Gym!

Pix! Vulpix! Aria said, leaping down the steps. She turned to Kari and swished her golden tails excitedly.

Okay, okay! Lets go then! Kari said, jumping down the steps herself and heading to the Gym.



I apologize for the extremely short chapter, but it had to be done. The next one is much longer, I promise!!!
To many, a Mew is but a a phantom, a legend dissapearing into thin air. For now, so too must I be. Right now, I am indeed, a phantom.
Age 35
Magma Colosseum
Seen February 23rd, 2009
Posted December 11th, 2008
6,158 posts
19.6 Years
really good story, very discriptive. A few typing errors here and there, but not much wrong. The chapters are kind of short, but well written. You also make good use of foreshadowing, as well as other writing techniques. My only major concern is that besides teh rival and the main character, the other people aren't descirbed all that much. Still, overall, it is a very good story and I look forward to seeing more of it! :D


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Age 34
Returning from the shadows
Seen July 3rd, 2006
Posted July 7th, 2005
3,779 posts
19.1 Years
Thanks for the review Pogi! I'll have the next chapter posted shortly!!

EDIT: Or now... now works for me!! :D

Chapter Four: Mapleleaf City Gym

Kari gulped as the Gym loomed into view. Its large, silver doors contrasted with its flaming red walls. The large cement steps were well kept and the windows were sparkling clean. This place would have seemed inviting, but Kari had an odd feeling that only defeat was to come out of this place.

She walked into a large lobby. She was a few trainers milling about, all looking quite dejected. One looked up at Kari and chuckled darkly.

The trainer walked over to her and said, Well, lookie here! Looks like Guys for some fresh meat to beat on instead of us.

Huh? Kari said, perplexed.

Oh, leave her alone Janet, said a blond boy. He walked over as well, his crystalline blue eyes shining. Dont mind Janet, her said in a low tone. Shes just sore after another failed attempt at beating Guy. My names James, by the way. James Johnson.

Im Kari. Kari Matthews, Kari introduced herself.

Well Kari, I hope you have better luck than weve had, James said, pointing Kari through a pair of glass doors.

She walked through the doors to find a very muscular man patting a Hitmonlee. He had dark brown hair and was very tan. All he was wearing was a pair of white training pants and a white headband, so his washboard abs and bulging biceps were visible. He turned a pair of warm, brown eyes on Kari.

Are you the Maleleaf Gym Leader? Kari asked, her voice echoing in the empty battle arena.

Yes, I am. My name is Guy, are you here to challenge me? the muscular man said with a smile.

Yes! Kari cried, taking up a traditional battle stance.

The man chuckled. I accept your challenge Miss-

Kari. Kari Matthews. she cried across the field.

Well then, Kari. Well each use two Pokemon to battle. Guy said calmly.

Make is a Two on One, Kari said more softly now, her fingers fiddling with the single Pokeball on her belt.

Guy was a compassionate person, and knew this was probably Karis 1st Gym battle, even one of her 1st battles in general. He thought a moment and said, I know Ill probably kick myself for this later, but its a One on One.

Kari beamed at Guy and shouted, GO! Aria!

Guy shouted Go, Hitmonchan!

Guys Hitmonchan was the picture of perfection. It flexed its muscles and gave the air a couple of quick punches. It looked down on Karis small Vulpix menacingly.

My, my, what an interesting Vulpix, Guy called at her. Kari smiled.

Aria, lets start off with an Ember Attack!

Hitmonchan, use your- Guy started.

He never finished. Flames exploded from Arias mouth as she cried out. The flames badly scorched the punching Pokemon, but it quickly regained its composure. It growled low in its throat awaiting a command.

Hitmonchan, COMET PUNCH, NOW! Guy cried angilly.

Aria! Dodge it, use Agility!

Hitmonchans closed fist was soon a mere whir of red. One of Hitmonchans lightning fast punches struck Aria, but she was gone before another could make contact. Aria began darting and dodging faster and faster, making it hard for Hitmonchan to follow. Only about 30% of all the punches it threw hit home.

Enough fooling around! Guy shouted. Thunder Punch, NOW!

Hitmonchans normally red boxing glove suddenly glowed yellow. Sparks flew from its tightly closed fist. Its aim was perfect. Hitmonchan grunted as it swung at the tiny Vulpix with all its might. Aria flew across the field.

Aria screeched as she struck the wall. She slowly rose, wincing in pain. Hitmonchan looked down at the Vulpix smugly, winding up for its final punch.

Suddenly, Arias eyes flashed red. With a small yell, a tornado of intense flames erupted form her mouth. The fiery cyclone engulfed Hitmonchan.

When the flames and smoke cleared, a severly scorched Hitmonchan fell face first onto the ground.

That was a Fire Spin! Kari thought, amazed at the tiny Pokemons power.

Guy recalled Hitmonchan in a flash of red light. He strode across the battle field and extended a muscular arm.

Kari shook his hand, wincing at the firmness of his grip. She then bent down and pick Aria up, crooning and congratulating her.

I knew Id slap myself for making it a One on One, Guy chuckled. Youre good, Kari. I know you can be a Pokemon Master. You sure chopped me down a size or two, he paused, as if the next part pained him. Youre the 1st one to beat me in quite awhile. And, as proof of your victory, here is the Strength Badge.

Kari took the crystalline structure and examined it. It looked like a boxing glove. It was blood red, just like Hitmonchans. She pinned the badge to her backpack strap. She left the battle arena nearly skipping.

They did it! Kari and Aria had won their 1st Gym badge!
To many, a Mew is but a a phantom, a legend dissapearing into thin air. For now, so too must I be. Right now, I am indeed, a phantom.
Age 35
Magma Colosseum
Seen February 23rd, 2009
Posted December 11th, 2008
6,158 posts
19.6 Years
Very good! You put more detail into the background characters with the description of James. You still are very skilled at describing a situation with the minimum word use. (Something I honestly think I'm not good at. :D) Again a few spelling errors, but not many. The chapters are still short, but that's not really a bad thing ( Takes me forever to do one chapter on one of mine. :D) The story is becoming more interesting than before, and again I can't wait to see the next chapter. :D


PBR:
1676-0779-0037
Pearl:
0215 7344 5643


Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!

Click here for something awesome.

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
I guess it's a good story, but an obvious copy from mine! It even says it in the prolouge 'Is she the trainer for mew' But, I must admit, it's a brilliant brilliant story, and way better then mine. I think I'll just leave mine to wither and die, and start a new story, that won't be thought of as a copy.

:(
Age 34
Returning from the shadows
Seen July 3rd, 2006
Posted July 7th, 2005
3,779 posts
19.1 Years
Copy? I've been writing this story for about 6 months now. I'm really sorry if it's the same idea as yours, but it's hard not to ask if Kari is the trainer for Mew... without saying those exact words.

Again, I'm really sorry... I didn't know...
To many, a Mew is but a a phantom, a legend dissapearing into thin air. For now, so too must I be. Right now, I am indeed, a phantom.
Age 31
Viridian city Gym,Viridian city
Seen October 16th, 2004
Posted August 21st, 2004
132 posts
18.8 Years
It's really great and nice story! Cool!
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emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
Six months? Oh, I should be the one sorry, I didn't realise. Sorry for accusing you. I really am. Anyway, now for a proper review.

Its a brilliant story. I love the way you describe the battle scenes and the such. I love the battle between Kari and the gym leader when Vulpix used a fire spin. Very effective description there, good job! Please carry on!

Mr Cat Dog

Frasier says it best

Age 32
Male
London, UK
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted July 12th, 2017
11,344 posts
19.1 Years
The advantage of coming from an RP background is that description is nearly vital to succeed well - at least from my experience. So... it's good that you've pulled it off quite well. The use of dialogue is good, as there isn't loads of it, but there still is enough to keep the flow of the story going. Well done ^_^

You do have spelling and grammar flaws, but they're nothing major - and MS Word can sort those out for you. This does however make the cliche-ometer explode severely. This does all seem very predictable... and probably will continue to be unless you add in the plot twist of some kind. The Mew saga can only really carry on for a limited time, and can't be the only thing stopping this from being another countless predicatble OT fic.

Well, if you add something like a plot twist in, then this looks as if it could turn out quite well. ^_^