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  #1    
Old May 18th, 2008 (6:44 AM). Edited June 14th, 2008 by ๒inaryקlastic.
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๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
Trika, Drape, Galsay...
     
    Join Date: Mar 2008
    Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
    Age: 21
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    UPDATE: I've edited the first comic 'cause it was very shaby and basicaly pathetic. There's a little change in the storyline but apart from that-.


    Chapter 1: The Begining
    Episode 1: http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/1268/episode2ex4.png Going for a Walk
    Episode 2: http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/766/episode3xz2.png A Big Suprise
    Episode 3: http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/867/episode4qt0.png The Impossible Nightmare
    Episode 4: http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/6821/episdoe5yt5.png Welcome to Golhart
    Episode 5: http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/4632/episode6jt2.png My First Battle

    Chapter 2: http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/5866/episode7kp6.png The master of all Matter
    Episode 6: http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/3489/epsiode8ci7.png The Journey to Golhart
    Epsiode 7: http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/5238/epsidoe9tz4.png Lake Side Slumber
    Episode 8: http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/7915/episode10xb4.png The Proffesor's Invatation
    Episode 9: http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/3489/episode11nl1.png Mansion go Boom!
    Episode 10: http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/89/episode12mc2.png Team Galactic?!


    This is my first comic and It's a bit shabby but please say what you think.

    Credits:
    Thanks a bunch to Aoh Nay for the great tiles.
    Thanks to Paradox and Kike for some of the sprites. (not sure what forum they're on :/...)
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      #2    
    Old May 18th, 2008 (6:55 AM).
    [NovaPirate]'s Avatar
    [NovaPirate] [NovaPirate] is offline
    And the rest went riding on.
       
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      Hokay, first off, I am going to say bad things, and it's going to help you because you're going to listen to me.

      First off, this is your first comic, correct, well, it's pretty much supposed to suck. I don't expect anything else. Now, first off, it's hard to read your comic because I'm constantly scrolling up and down to look at the panels and to read the script. Solution? Text Bubbles. Use them, want them, eat them.

      Second off, save your comics as a PNG file, not as a .bmp or a .jpeg. Those just look bad altogether.

      And use Fr/Lg sprites, they look better and fit better with most maps. Go to spriters-resource.com for sprites.

      And about your plot. I don't know if you think you're original, but you're not. It's been done a thousand times. You need something to make your comic unique. Think of something completely new and original. Otherwise your plot is boring and predictable.

      About the red lines and numbers. Make all your panels the same size, and line them up in rows.

      123
      456
      789

      Then you don't need those number and so you have more space. As for the red lines, although it takes more time, usually you just have one sprite per panel. Check out FuzzyMuzzy's Contest Challenge and you'll see what I mean. You move the sprite between panels as to show movement. Notice how in one panel they'll be in one place, but in the next they'll have moved and such. The only problem is that many people have walking scenes where all it is is walking, no dialog, and it's very boring.

      Use good grammar, real words, avoid chatspeak, and make it interesting.

      That should cover it all! Good luck and don't quit. We don't expect your first comic to be like FuzzyMuzzy's. Just keep at it and you'll progress, especially with the help of crit.
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        #3    
      Old May 18th, 2008 (6:57 AM).
      Showapool Kwesi's Avatar
      Showapool Kwesi Showapool Kwesi is offline
         
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        These arn't very good.

        Gramatic mistakes, spelling mistakes, blurry comic etc.

        Keep it up though, we all have to start somewhere
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          #4    
        Old May 18th, 2008 (7:26 AM).
        ๒inaryקlastic's Avatar
        ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
        Trika, Drape, Galsay...
           
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          Thanks for your comment. Thanks about the PNG File thing. I've always wondered how to make it none blury. I'm currently making the next episode and your comments have really helped .
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            #5    
          Old May 20th, 2008 (8:56 AM).
          Showapool Kwesi's Avatar
          Showapool Kwesi Showapool Kwesi is offline
             
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            Just a little bit confusing lol
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              #6    
            Old May 20th, 2008 (9:17 AM).
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            ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
            Trika, Drape, Galsay...
               
              Join Date: Mar 2008
              Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
              Age: 21
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              Made two comics in one day :D... YAY ME!!! Please check it out and post any ideas for the storyline. Remeber, you help make the comic :D (Cheesy or what?)
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                #7    
              Old May 20th, 2008 (2:58 PM).
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              [NovaPirate] [NovaPirate] is offline
              And the rest went riding on.
                 
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                Okay, it's a little confusing, it helps to explain it with dialog (Nice use of Bubbles!).

                For instance during the tree scene;

                Hmm.. Wait, that tree wasn't there-
                What the?!

                The new comics are still better though, especially the third. Just keep working at it!
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                  #8    
                Old May 24th, 2008 (4:42 AM). Edited May 25th, 2008 by ๒inaryקlastic.
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                ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
                Trika, Drape, Galsay...
                   
                  Join Date: Mar 2008
                  Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
                  Age: 21
                  Gender:
                  Nature: Jolly
                  Posts: 333
                  Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to ๒inaryקlastic
                  There's my next comic done. Please check it out everyone .

                  UPDATE: I've edited the first comic 'cause it was very shaby and basicaly pathetic. There's a little change in the storyline but apart from that-.
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                    #9    
                  Old May 28th, 2008 (3:17 PM).
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                  GreenStorm GreenStorm is offline
                     
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                    Nice comic. But try to make your speech bubbles pointy. By that I mean make them point to the person talking because I had a little trouble knowing who's talking.
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                      #10    
                    Old May 28th, 2008 (9:51 PM).
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                    Aero-LyNx Aero-LyNx is offline
                    Go team dynamite!
                       
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                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by GreenStorm View Post
                      Nice comic. But try to make your speech bubbles pointy. By that I mean make them point to the person talking because I had a little trouble knowing who's talking.
                      Yeah, me too. Anyway, your comic is nice.
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                        #11    
                      Old May 31st, 2008 (7:07 AM).
                      ๒inaryקlastic's Avatar
                      ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
                      Trika, Drape, Galsay...
                         
                        Join Date: Mar 2008
                        Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
                        Age: 21
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                        Nature: Jolly
                        Posts: 333
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                        thanks guys. I'll add the points in the next episode :D...
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                          #12    
                        Old May 31st, 2008 (8:00 AM).
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                        ComoToon ComoToon is offline
                        Olympus Gimp
                           
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                          Try zooming in when your characters speak it creates more drama and makes the sprite comic in general look more professional. I suggest looking up the Pokemon X sprite comic as inspiration it was the original one and could provide a lot of lessons in what to do a and sometimes... what not to do.
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                            #13    
                          Old May 31st, 2008 (1:19 PM).
                          Cobalt36's Avatar
                          Cobalt36 Cobalt36 is offline
                          Ivy and Harley, quite a pair..
                             
                            Join Date: Apr 2008
                            Location: Trapped in a cage with Ivy and Harley...and no way out...YAY!!!
                            Age: 23
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                            Well, it's alright. Not the best i've seen, but, like i said, it's alright. A couple pointers, though:
                            1. PLEASE never ever mix your tilesets! I was reading the first couple, and the battle began in something out of Mystery Dungeon! AND Diamond and PEARL?! Don't mix, pick one and stick to it.
                            2. Umm...some of the scenes are a tad cofusing...That one with the tree, how'd it get there?! He wakes up in two different places?! And how did he get through that cave after seeing the girl?!
                            3. This is moving way to fast. Please, don't rush to appease the audience; you'll lose them if you do. Show the training, elaborate more on battles. Oh, and don't just randomly begin a plot, such as with the Master of All Matter chapter. You jumped too fast, pal.

                            Well, i hope that helped. Good Luck!
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                            Two-Face: (resentfully) Poison Ivy.
                            Poison Ivy: It's been a long time, Harvey. You're still looking... halfway decent.
                            Two-Face: (glaring) Half of me wants to strangle you.
                            Poison Ivy: (smiling) And what does the other half want?
                            Two-Face: To hit you with a truck!
                            Poison Ivy: (aside to others, referring to Two-Face) We used to date.
                            Joker & Penguin: (catching her drift) Ahhhh...
                            ________________________

                            Harley: Hey, remeber me? That big charity bash a few years back? The one the Joker robbed? I was the clown girl holdin' the gun on ya'! Oh, but don't worry. I'm over the whole crime thing, see? I'm rehabilitated and ready to live my new life!
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                              #14    
                            Old June 1st, 2008 (5:02 AM).
                            ๒inaryקlastic's Avatar
                            ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
                            Trika, Drape, Galsay...
                               
                              Join Date: Mar 2008
                              Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
                              Age: 21
                              Gender:
                              Nature: Jolly
                              Posts: 333
                              Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to ๒inaryקlastic
                              I know mixed tilesets :/ just thought it would look better. The bit where he went through the cave was not shown because... well I don't know. I should of turned that into a story. The master of all matter bit will explain itself in the next few episodes. Thanks for your comments (not) :I
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                                #15    
                              Old June 1st, 2008 (7:53 AM).
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                              Cobalt36 Cobalt36 is offline
                              Ivy and Harley, quite a pair..
                                 
                                Join Date: Apr 2008
                                Location: Trapped in a cage with Ivy and Harley...and no way out...YAY!!!
                                Age: 23
                                Gender:
                                Nature: Hardy
                                Posts: 142
                                I hope you didn't mean "not" as in you didn't like criticsm, because that's all it was. Like i said, it's alright for a first try, i just want to see it improve along the way, is all. I'm sure i'm not alone. Just keep going and please don't bash my comments!
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                                Two-Face: (resentfully) Poison Ivy.
                                Poison Ivy: It's been a long time, Harvey. You're still looking... halfway decent.
                                Two-Face: (glaring) Half of me wants to strangle you.
                                Poison Ivy: (smiling) And what does the other half want?
                                Two-Face: To hit you with a truck!
                                Poison Ivy: (aside to others, referring to Two-Face) We used to date.
                                Joker & Penguin: (catching her drift) Ahhhh...
                                ________________________

                                Harley: Hey, remeber me? That big charity bash a few years back? The one the Joker robbed? I was the clown girl holdin' the gun on ya'! Oh, but don't worry. I'm over the whole crime thing, see? I'm rehabilitated and ready to live my new life!
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                                  #16    
                                Old June 1st, 2008 (8:45 AM).
                                ๒inaryקlastic's Avatar
                                ๒inaryקlastic ๒inaryקlastic is offline
                                Trika, Drape, Galsay...
                                   
                                  Join Date: Mar 2008
                                  Location: In My Secret Cave looking over all of Pokemon Land...
                                  Age: 21
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                                  Nature: Jolly
                                  Posts: 333
                                  Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to ๒inaryקlastic
                                  Sorry. I was in a bad mood at the time I didn't mean to offend. I'll keep those comments in mind and about the tree thing. The episode title sorta gives it away :/...
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