Age 31
In waiting.
Seen April 1st, 2008
Posted January 19th, 2008
5,127 posts
19.1 Years
just a note...


ok this is a fic that i have been dying to make. it still in working process but im hoping to post the first part soon!

as most of you have read the HP books you know that they are about harry`s adventures at hogwarts. well, in this fanfic it will be about all the grown-ups as they went through hogwarts as kids. but there are some made up charaters! here are some of them:


james potter: one of the main characters.

lily eavns: another main character.

sirius black: james best friend.

remus lupin: another of james friend.

peter pettigrew: james friend.

mary anne battenin: lily`s best friend.

kyla opona: another of lilys friends.

destiny leganish: another of lilys friends.

lucious malfoy: james rival.

serves snape: a friend of malfoys.

tom riddle a.k.a. lord voldemort: a third year at hogwarts. big surprise in year seven!


ok these are most of the characters. if there are any i forgot i promise that i will tell you.

i hope to be posting soon!!! :D

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.


Card by Capalex65
Age 31
In waiting.
Seen April 1st, 2008
Posted January 19th, 2008
5,127 posts
19.1 Years
ok. i think i`m ready for the first chapter. here it is!




lily and james potter: the story that started it all... *year one*
ch. 1: trip to diagon alley



Lily evans walked through the crowded streets of diagon alley. In one hand she held a large pile of supplies for her new school. In the other her list from hogwarts a wierd school. Nervously, she glanced from side to side looking at all the shops on either side of her staring at the unusal items in the windows. Lily looked back at her letter.

Hogwarts School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry


Headmaster: Ignus Baggot

Order of Merlin, First Class Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump

Dear Miss Evans,

We are pleased to imform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessray books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than july 31.

Yours sincerely,

patricia niness

patricia niness
Deputy Headmistress

Lily smiled with satifaction. She was going to a new school. Lily was lost in thought when... "WATCH OUT!"
"oof..." She ran right in to some boy, spilling everything on the ground. Lily shook her head. "Sorry..." She started.

"Its ok. Here let me help you with those." the boy answered, picking up her stuff along with his. Lily noticed a letter lying on the ground. Is that his? she thought. Its just like mine!!! she picked up the letter.

"Is this yours?" She asked looking at the boy for the first time. He had messy, jet black hair and brown eyes. In his hand, he held a wooden stick.

"Uhh... yea." He took the letter out of her hand. "T-thanks." He looked up. The girl that had given him his letter made his mouth go dry. Her dark red hair blew gently in the wind. her green eyes started at him, not blinking at all...

"Uhh... can I have my stuff?" She asked him. The boy then realised he was still holding her school supplies.

"Oh... yeah. Here." He dumped everything into her arms.

"Thanks..."

"James."

"Oh. Thanks James. i`m Lily. Your going to hogwarts, right?"

"Yeah." James answered in a dreamy-like manner.

"Do you know where i can get a wand?"

"Yeah."

"Can you take me there?"

"Yeah." Lily waited for the boy to start moving. he didnt.

"Is 'yeah' the only thing you can say?"

"Yeah... I mean-no!!! Here the wand shop is this way." He led her to a shabby shop called Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.

"In here." James pointed at the store.

"Thanks." Lily said with a sweet smile. She walked pass James and into the dark shop, ready to get her wand...



i hope you like the first chapter. it has taken me 45 minutes to write... (mainly cause my friend was IMing me...)
See Ya in the next chap.!!!

next chapter: Lily`s First Wand

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.


Card by Capalex65
Celadon, Kanto
Seen August 25th, 2010
Posted August 22nd, 2005
2,941 posts
19.2 Years
It's cute so far. You're quite good with dialogue. It's hard for me to judge whether it's accurate or not, since there really aren't any parts in the Harry Potter books where James or Lilly speaks, but you do have a good sense for how people would react to things.

I just have a few suggestions, being a veteran fanfiction writer myself. Hope you don't mind! ^_^

Details: Though you're really good at dialogue details, your chapter is lacking in physical and mental descriptions. Try telling your audience what things look, taste, smell, sound, and feel like, as well as including intuitive senses if you deem it fit. It's really important, especially in the beginning of your story, so that your readers can get a sense of what the world is like, and what the characters are like.

Plot-Be careful not to introduce your characters, or their relationships, too quickly. You don't want to rush into things. Give your readers a good sense of suspense to keep them in the story. If you reveal everything too fast, the middle and ending is really predictable, even if we know that Lily and James will end up married because of the actual books.

I'm looking foward to reading the rest of the story. I hope my suggestions helped! ^_^
Sometimes you are tired.
Sometimes you are hungry.
Sometimes you are angry.
Sometimes you just don't think you have it in you.
Those are the days.
Those are the most important days.
Those are the days when you need it most.
Those are the days that you want it most.
Those are the days you have the most.
[COLOR=Plum]
Age 31
In waiting.
Seen April 1st, 2008
Posted January 19th, 2008
5,127 posts
19.1 Years
sigh... some people seem to be confused. heres how it goes.

james and lily meet. james likes lily all through the years. lily like james as a friend. she doesnt find out that james likes her until the end of book 6.

get it now? anyway, chap two:



chap. 2: Lily`s First Wand



Well some one said be more descriptive, so I am!!!


Lily walked into the gloomy shop followed by James. She could see no one but another girl looking at some boxes she held. It took a moment for Lily`s eyes to ajust but she could see the shop clearly now.

There were rows and rows of what looked like bookshelves, and on them there were long colored boxes. In the middle of the room, right across from the door was a single wooden desk with a lamp and, much to Lily`s surprise, a pen writing on a parchment all by itself.

Lily glanced at James. Are you sure this is the place? she asked nevously.

Yeah. This is it! Come on. He grabbed her arm and pulled torwards the desk. Mr. Ollivander!!! he called, his voice echoing through out the near-empty shop.

Lily looked over the shoulder at the door, for no particular reason at all. She turned back torwards the desk and gasped. A man had appeared out of nowhere! An old man stood behind the desk, his wide round eyes shining like a cats.

Hello. He said to Lily in a soft voice. Youre here to buy a wand, are you not?

Yes Mr. Ollivander. I`m going to Hogwarts. Lily answered.

Good. Hogwarts is an excellent school. You`ll like it. Now, which arm is your wand arm?

I uhh I`m left handed.

Hmmm a lefty. Lets see. He went to one of the shelves and came back with a box. Here, try this one. Beech-wood and unicorn hairs. 10 inches. Ollivander handed Lily the wand. Lily looked at it. Just give it a swish. He told her.

Lily did what she was told. Nothing happened. Suddently, James yelled. His pants had caught on fire! Quinchess. Ollivander said and the fire died out.

Oh my god! I`m soooo sorry, James! Lily said shamefully.

James smiled. Its ok he answered her. My pants are just burnt a bit.

I can fix that. Repairo. Ollivander said and James pants looked like they had never been touched.

Thanks. James muttered.

Ollivander took the wand out of Lily`s hand. He then retreated back to the shelves and returned with another box. This one might work. He said, taking the wand out.

Lily took the wand. All she did was lower it a little and a scream broke out through the shop. It was the girl! She ran torwards the desk followed by a couple of three eyed frogs.

Sorry!!! Lily said to her. James looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh.

Dispencio. Ollivander said. The frogs disappeared.

I`m so sor- James burst. He was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his eyes. James thats not funny! Lily said angerly.

I think that wand made him laugh. The girl said. She was right.

D-do-HAHA-a-HE-countercurse!!! BWAHA!!! He said in between laughs.

Silencio. James stopped. Repairo. Lily, lets try again. Ollivander sighed.

He disappeared into the very back of the shop this time reappearing with another box. Carefully, he took the wand out and placed it in Lily`s hand. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James and the girl take a few steps back. Lily waved the wand around. Brightly colored sparks erupted from the tip turning into flowers just before the hit the ground.

Ollivander smiled. I think we have a match.


i hope you like this chap! see ya next time in chapter 3: dusty and angel

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.


Card by Capalex65
Age 31
I live in my house...
Seen July 7th, 2006
Posted July 2nd, 2006
1,815 posts
18.8 Years
Nice job can't wait for the next chapter you're doing a excelent job so keep up the good work. I suggest that you enlongate the chapters a little bit, but other than that it's excellent!!!!!!
dont you hate how you leave something that was once so great. but once you return. its nothing...

~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
I'm an accuracy nut, so forgive a few of the comments here: Near as can be told, Lily sort've hated James until 7th year. Dumbledore was Headmaster of Hogwarts bak when they attended. Tom Riddle was long gone from Hogwartsby the time Lily and James were first year...And nothing else.

Other than that, it's pretty good so far. I'm liking it. Aside from what Skye said (which I must reinforce), it's pretty good. Keep writing!
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.

~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
Okay, but the previous Headmaster of Hogwarts was Armando Dippet. Not trying to criticize, just pointing a few things out.
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.
Age 31
In waiting.
Seen April 1st, 2008
Posted January 19th, 2008
5,127 posts
19.1 Years
okay, theres a change in plans. lily hates james in fic 3. wow, i cant believe im planning to go all the way to 7....


ch. 3: Dusty and Angel


Lily smalied as well. "Thank you, Mr. Ollivander. But may i ask, what kind of wand is it?"

"Ten and a quarter inches long, made of willow. Very nice for charm work." Ollivander replyed.

"Mines eleven inches, mahogany. Right?" James asked, not wanting to be left out.

"Thats right. Great for transfiguration." Ollivander said. "And if you dont have an owl, i think you can find one at Eeyclops Owl Emporium." he added with a twinkle in his eye.

"Okay, we`ll go there next. Want to come james?" Lily asked sweetly.

James`s heart skipped a beat. "O-okay. I`d love to come!" he said blushing. Thankfully, Lily didnt notice.

They walked out of the dark, gloomy store, Ollivander watching them go. "I think I can expect great things from those two..." He whispered to himself, before returning to the back of the store.

James eyes were greeted by a bright sun. "Ow." he said quietly.

"What, did the sun half-blind you too?" Lily asked, joking.

"uh.... Yeah. Hey, theres the pet store!"

Lily turned her head torwards a crowded shop, full of animals and people alike. There were cages holding owls near the door, and even a giant toad sitting on a table.

They walked into the shop, glancing at the animals near the door. "Wow..." Lily said. Inside the store was bigger than it looked. Big ages, small cages, and everything in between lined the walls. they held all sorts of animals, some Lily, even James didnt reconize. The two split up, searching for something that they liked.

James went over to the owl section, and started examining the different speacies of owls. He found one on top of a post. Its feathers were a blend of browns and grays, melting toger in a weird way. James then noticed some blue feathers on its tail.

"Hmmm... " james started. "Your different. I`ve never seen an owl like you."

"Thats because there is no other owl like him." A voice said behind him. James turned around. The stranger was a middle-aged man, with a bald head. his dark brown skin matched the walls.

"Exacly what type of owl is he?" James asked the stranger.

"Hes a Blue-Tail King Owl." The man replyed. He stuck out a hand. "HI. I`m Qauken Kings."

James returned the handshake. "James. James Potter-" the Blue-Tail flew from his perch and landed on James`s arm.

"He must like you." Qauken said. "Normaly, he stays away from people."

"Oh. I`ll take him. How much?" James asked.

"uhh... i`ll take 18 sickles. Fair eough?"

"I guess."

"Okay, then he`s yours."

"Thanks!"

"Now you get to name him!"

"Okay.... Dusty!" James handed Qauken the money.

Qauken grinned. "Thats a good name. Take care of Dusty!"

*~*~*~*

Lily watched James leave. She had no idea here to go. uhh.... i guess i`ll just look around... She thought nevously. Lily walked down one side of the store, looking at all the cages. She stopped at one cage. In it was the strangest creature Lily had ever seen.

The strange creature looked like a white cat with icey blue eyes. It had two bushy tails and small silver wings, folded neatly against its sides. The cat stared intently at Lily with its blue eyes.

A voice behind Lily spoke. "Wow, she must like you," Lily jumped. "because usually she attacks anyone who looks at her."

Lily turned around to see a man with dark brown skin. his head was bald and gleamed in the light. "Oh, really?" She asked.

"Yeah. By the way, I`m Ackle Kings." He smilded at her brightly.

"Hi. I`m Lily Evans. How much?"

"ehh... 16 sickles."

"okay. Here." Lily handed Ackle the 16 sickles.

"Wha`cha gonna name her?"

"uhhh..." Lily looked at her new pet. "Angel."

"Angel? More like demon..." Ackle mumbled.

"But shes been so qiuet. And cute." Lily picked Angel up. The winged cat purred loudly. "By the way, what kind of cat is this?"

Ackle smiled. "A rare breed. Only found in certain areas of the world. Shes a Furffent."

"Oh, okay."

"take good care of Angel!" Ackle said before running off to greet a new customer. Lily turned around to look James and could have sworn she saw Ackle at the end of the aisle. She turned back around. Nobody there.

weird... she thought with a smile before running off to find James.


i hope you like this chapter!^^ see ya next in chap.4: a new friend!

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.


Card by Capalex65
Age 31
In waiting.
Seen April 1st, 2008
Posted January 19th, 2008
5,127 posts
19.1 Years
kay, heres the nxt part! i hope you likies!^^

ch. 4: A New Friend

Lily continued walking down the crowded aisles. How am i supposed to find james in here? She thought, while absent-mindedly stroking Angel. Its so big and- "Ow!" She said. Lily had run into someone.

She got back to her feet and helped the person she knocked down back up. "Sorry..." she muttered. "I didnt mean to... I really need to start watching out..." Angel hopped up onto Lily`s shoulder.

"Its ok. I`ve done the same thing before." The voice seemed familar. Lily then remember she had seen this person earlier. It was the girl from the wand shop!

"Hey, were you at the wand shop a couple minutes ago?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. I was. Are you the one who made those three-eyed frogs?" The girl asked. Her brown eyes never left Lily.

Lily blushed. "Uhh... Yeah... Sorry about that...?"

"Mary Anne."

"Oh. Sorry about that, Mary Anne."

"Its ok....?"

"Lily."

"Its ok, Lily." Mary Anne offered a handshake. "Nice to meet you."

Lily returned it. "You too! Are you going to Hogwarts?"

Mary Anne smiled. "You bet! Its one of the best schools there is!"

"Uhhh... I`m kinda looking for a friend. Wanna come?" Lily asked.

Mary Anne nodded. "Okay. Where did you see her last?"

"Him. And i saw him leave from the door. We went our seperate ways to find a pet. I got a furffent, whatever the heck they are." Lily said, pointing to the white cat curled up on her shoulder.

"Cool! I love furffents! they`re soooo cute!!!" Mary Anne said, never taking her eyes off the cats silver wings. "Wha`da name her?"

"Angel." Lily said stroking the ball of silver and white fur.

"Cute name. Suits her good." Mary Anne said, while stroking Angel. She prrred even louder than before.

"Yeah, I think it does too."

"Hey, shouldnt we look for your freind?" Mary Anne asked.

"Oh my gosh! Your right! C`mon, lets go!" Lily said before running off, followed closly by Mary Anne....


sry if this chapters shoter than the others.... im running out of ideas already!

see ya nxt chap 5! i havent thought of a title yet! sry! oh well.

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.


Card by Capalex65
Age 31
I live in my house...
Seen July 7th, 2006
Posted July 2nd, 2006
1,815 posts
18.8 Years
it was short, but still good i can't wait for the next!! Maybe you should have James meat Severus in Diagon alley? Just an idea since you said you were running out! Well, happy writing!!
dont you hate how you leave something that was once so great. but once you return. its nothing...