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  #1    
Old June 20th, 2008 (4:47 PM).
Kagome's Avatar
Kagome Kagome is offline
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    Please tell me if its good I made it up along the way and this is my first poem about friendship



    Friends are for your company
    Friends are helpful
    Friends are nice to you in every way possible
    Friends cheer you up when your sad or lonely
    Friends care deeply about you when it come to hurt and hatetred
    Friends will not go away
    Unless you keep this in mind:
    FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS
    That what the word friends means
    Friendship will never end
    Unless you make it end
    Same for relationship
    It should not ever end
    Untill you make it end
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      #2    
    Old June 20th, 2008 (5:39 PM).
    Tk-mia's Avatar
    Tk-mia Tk-mia is offline
    the Right Stuff
       
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      it waz ok and very ture, good useage of the word friend/friendship
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        #3    
      Old June 20th, 2008 (5:54 PM).
      Kagome's Avatar
      Kagome Kagome is offline
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        thanks TK-mia im not so much of making poem but i tried and it turned out ok
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          #4    
        Old June 20th, 2008 (10:09 PM).
        Sasuke Hinamori's Avatar
        Sasuke Hinamori Sasuke Hinamori is offline
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          I like it but it made me remember a piece of my life that i forgot about when i was little thanks your poem helped me figure out what it was maybe you will become a poet but i like it good grammer and word useage its a good poem.
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            #5    
          Old June 22nd, 2008 (4:36 AM). Edited June 22nd, 2008 by Mr. Curling Iron.
          Mr. Curling Iron Mr. Curling Iron is offline
          u kujw bux :d
             
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by kagome View Post
            Friends are for your company
            Friends are helpful
            Friends are nice to you in every way possible
            Friends cheer you up when your sad or lonely
            Friends care deeply about you when it come to hurt and hatetred
            Friends will not go away
            Unless you keep this in mind:
            FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS
            That what the word friends means
            Friendship will never end
            Unless you make it end
            Same for relationship
            It should not ever end
            Untill you make it end

            I like it, Good use of Repetition, but, In-contrast to N.U.S., I think it needs use on spelling, and punctuation (however u spell it). =)

            Ok, now that I re-read it, there is little language techniques. The Poem itself if very nice, It sounds like it is from the heart, but, Stanzas are useful to adopt, and you could use more description because some people, (like my previous english teacher) feel that it gets really boring when a word is repeated too much. The only Punctuation in the whole poem is a colon. Ok, there are Poems that are made with lots of punctuation and spelling mistakes because it helps to convey a message, but, it doesnt suit this poem. I think you wanted this poem to be read slowly right? Well, in order to achieve that, you must utilise your punctuation. Your spelling problems are probably just typos, but remember to re-read poems after you have written them.
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              #6    
            Old June 24th, 2008 (2:50 PM).
            Kagome's Avatar
            Kagome Kagome is offline
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              thanks imiraj im sort new that why hehe~
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