e1337(Parody-Oneshot)

Started by Sydian June 26th, 2008 11:17 AM
  • 3637 views
  • 22 replies

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
Yes. I made a parody. So har har har to all who thought I was only capable of emo shipping stories! Heh.

And I will make myself clear once more, this is a parody. Say it with me. PARODY. Now Chinese! Okay, just kidding, just kidding. But basically, I don't want reviews with "omg that is liek not right omg i thought u culd right better what happend???" which is why I'm making my self extra clear.

So, here we are. e1337.

e1337

By: Silver

One day a boy woke up; who just turned 10. Today he was goin to start his journey to be the bestest super ultra mega alpha waffles Pogeyman master EVER. So he ran downstairs, ate some BACON, and ran out the door. He was a 4’3 feet Libra that liked honey baked ham, New Orleans type jazz, and long walks on the beach. “Son your leaving in your underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” his mom called, but he didn’t care.. He just wanted to get to the prof’s laboratatoyrty. He ran up to prof. Oak and his evil archenemy ONIONS was already there standing and breathing because he hated ONIONS and his evil doing mind ahahahahahaha.

ONIONS: Gramps I want my Pokemon now so I can pwn everybody with it.

Prof Oak: Shut up ONIONS. Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III gets to pick first cuz hes alot cool cuz hes in his underwear.

Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III: ok whati s there two pick form.

“Well you can pick this shiny Eevee, female Nidoran , or this shiny EV trained Dialga”
“ok i pick Dialga” Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III winked.
“Well I’mma get this female Nidoran and pwn u!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!” ONIONS said.
“Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III heres you’re gen. IV Pokedex, a bajillion dollars, and 74 thousand Master Balls. ONIONS, you get this rusty crusty ghetto Pokedex from Red and Blue version, 1 pence, and a broken Pokeball”

“Cool thanx im gonna pwn!” ONIONS said.
“Why does he get all the godo stuff?” Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III asked.

Would you like to name the newly hatched Dialga?
C-O-O-L-G-U-Y

ONIONS: Hey Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III!!11!!!!!!11111oneeleven!!!1 Lets battle OMG!!
“ok go COOLGUY!”
“Go female Nidoran !
“COOLGUY, use Roar of Tiem!!”
Female Nidoran [insert male sign here] DIED and ONIONS returned it and payed Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III $110. “Well fine I’m leaving.” ONIONS and his Turtwig left the lab.

COOLGUY gained 1,000,000 exp. Points!
COOLGUY grew to level 100!
What? COOLGUY is evolving!
Congratulashons! Your COOLGUY evolved into ARCEUS!

Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III left prof oka’s lab. Then he went to root 29 and left the town. Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III walked into the grass.

Wild Root Fossil appeared!
Go COOLGUY!! [insert screechy Arceus cry here]
Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III threw a Master Ball!
The Wild MissingNo. Was caught!
Would you like to give a nickname to the MissingNo.?
No.
What? MissingNo. Is evolving!
Congratusdhaldfsons!! Ur MissingNo. Evolved into EGG!
What? EGG is hatching!
Congraduashins! Yo EGG hatched into Aerodactyl!
“Oh wow cool”

As Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III was entering Petalburg City he met Wally(yaaaaay!!! <333) and helped him catch a MALE Ralts. Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III looked at the ground and found all the badges. “OMGWTFLMAOROFLBBQ!!11!!!11one!!1”
And now he was ready for the Pokemon League. Then Lance randomly appeared out of nowhere with his slave I mean girlfriend Yellow. He challenged Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III.

“I’m craaaaaazy go Dragonair!” Lance said like a wildman Tarzan.
“Go Aerodactly use Frenzy Plant!”
Aerodactyl used Frenzy Plant and Dragonai DIED and Lance returned it. “You are now the Pkmn league Champioin. So you should take this.”
Lance handed Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III a flute that he said was called The Toot and that it would take him to a magical land that was surrounded with fire and that The Toot was like super awesome and stuff and told him what he had for dinner last night.

So Lance and Yellow fly away to do who knows what and Mercedes Benz Jr. III blew on The Toot.

Do do deeeee da da duuuuum! ~

Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III was now in World 8 so he went to find Bowser and there he was with Princess Zelda.
“Ahahahahaha!!! Bwahahahahaha!!!1111!!11!!11 Blarharharharharmuffins!1” Bowser belched.
“I’m going to best u COOLGUY us OMG EARTH POWRZ!!!”
COOLGUY used Earth Power and the ground caved in and Bowser DIED.
“Sorry but the princess is in another castle!”
“Oh well at least I beat Lance! But I’d like to date his slave I mean girlfriend she was hot like for real”

So Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III became the bestest super ultra mega alpha waffles Pogeyman master EVER, and he did it all without pants. THE END.
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BigfootTheUnbeatable

Phillies World Champions 2008!

Seen April 11th, 2009
Posted November 16th, 2008
191 posts
15.1 Years
OMGZ!
What happened to ONION?

e1337: ONION's story

ONION met Wally one day and uber pwnd his Ralts. The Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III came and beet up ONION becase he waz meen to Waly.

"Wwhy'd yu do that Mercedes? I'll get my gramps on yu!"
ONION threw his pokeball at Mercedes head and then COOLGUY killed him.
And then waly was like "ur so kewl Mercedes, lets journey and defeat team blackskyalphbetazetashadowdestiny and save the wordz!"

Soundz like a pln wally' Mercedes said ecaus he's cool.

ONION went to Pokemon heaven with Arceus but got pwned al dayz becuz he's dumb bu Mercedes is coolio 1337!

THE END FOR NOW. IM SORRY IF ITS SHORT BUT THIS IS MY FIRST TIME AD IM NOT BERY GOOD.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry I had to do that, ONION is just so cool I had to write about him. Anyway, this is cool Splatty, it's petty freakin hilarious and is exactly how all of these generic; "Me and my brother wrote this kewl story about how a kid has a rival and a journey with his uber legendary starter and saves the day while conquering the Pokemon league" stories.

XD

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
WTF???? I LOVE IT!! ITS THE BEST PARODY SINCE PARODIES WERE EVER THOUGHT OF!!! OMIGOD!! -dies laughing-
And you know what that means...-gets the banana costume and the maracas-

Sorry I had to do that, ONION is just so cool I had to write about him. Anyway, this is cool Splatty, it's petty freakin hilarious and is exactly how all of these generic; "Me and my brother wrote this kewl story about how a kid has a rival and a journey with his uber legendary starter and saves the day while conquering the Pokemon league" stories.
Hey. It's ONIONS. With an 'S'. xD

But yeah, that's what I was going for so...thank youuu.

Edit:

Oh. You know...I forgot to put in Team Rocket for no reason whatsoever. Oh well.
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txteclipse

The Last

Age 32
Riverside
Seen March 23rd, 2023
Posted November 2nd, 2016
2,322 posts
15.7 Years
Congratusdhaldfsons!! This is funnies!!!!111!1!1!!!!1!11! *over 9000 exclamation points and ones*

All without pants. I was breaking ribs with laughter. But you give these writers too much credit: they rarely get beyond a paragraph.
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
so i like was going to respont to this before but the forums wouldnt load (lol load) for me and so i had to come back and try again poopie (lol poop) headed things................................

just make sure that atinuts (lol nuts) doesnt come to close this so like listen to the advice i have to give to you.........................

this was a funny story!!!!11 i lauffed so hard (lol hard) that i fell out of my chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 u meanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 im rpoting u to astunts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i give u a 10/10!!!!!!11 rite more!!!!!!

lol underwear!!!!!!!!!11 & it was benz over. lolololololololol

Avatar credit: Fairy
Age 28
Seen February 3rd, 2023
Posted June 19th, 2019
623 posts
15.3 Years
i r spaechles! Thsi r deh kolest thign i have evah raed!!!! OMGZ LOL!!! ROFLCOPTRE, you shuld so kepp rihgtnig, u r a gr8 ather!!!!!

1 problem tho................. U ned 2 add in Paul b/c I <3 Paul... he si so kawaii!!! XDDDDD!!!!

**********************************************

Ugh, that is hard to do D:! Anyways, nice parody Silver :D! I agree with txteclipse. We give these nubs who write OT fics way too much credit :/.

I think we should all do a roleplay like this... just for lulz XD! (P.S.- I SO call Wally! I love his character in pokemon genesis X or w/e :D!!! JK.)
"I accidently my Typhlosion. Is this bad?"

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
so i like was going to respont to this before but the forums wouldnt load (lol load) for me and so i had to come back and try again poopie (lol poop) headed things................................

just make sure that atinuts (lol nuts) doesnt come to close this so like listen to the advice i have to give to you.........................

this was a funny story!!!!11 i lauffed so hard (lol hard) that i fell out of my chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 u meanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 im rpoting u to astunts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i give u a 10/10!!!!!!11 rite more!!!!!!

lol underwear!!!!!!!!!11 & it was benz over. lolololololololol
I probably look like a big idiot the way I'm laughing in my chair. xD

Ugh, that is hard to do D:! Anyways, nice parody Silver :D! I agree with txteclipse. We give these nubs who write OT fics way too much credit :/.

I think we should all do a roleplay like this... just for lulz XD! (P.S.- I SO call Wally! I love his character in pokemon genesis X or w/e :D!!! JK.)
Thank you! :D

& omg u cant hav wally hes mien OMG!!1
BURY ME SIX FEET DEEP COVER ME IN CONCRETE
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Age 32
Seen August 26th, 2009
Posted August 26th, 2009
81 posts
15.2 Years
Haha...that was so absurd I was actually laughing. Very well done, you managed to parody the anime, games and manga (lolGrantedshipping) in one go, impressive.

What's sad is that some fics are like this in all seriousness...

Anyway, now that you've had your fun, you need to update Just A Brother. ;)
Age 30
Male
Northern Virginia
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted May 26th, 2018
1,184 posts
15.2 Years
I am going to try and review this fic in an intelligent and mature manner. First off, about the grammar...

Oh forget it, I can't pretend to be serious right now. My sincere feelings about this fic will follow shortly:

LULZ!!!!1! WUZ S0 AWSUM! MOAR PLS!!!
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Family (kind of?): [url-inline="member.php?u=25615"]Strange person who calls me strange names[/url-inline]
Age 27
Male
Best City OCE
Seen October 18th, 2021
Posted April 1st, 2013
5,978 posts
15.1 Years
Ok, I will attempt to quote review the...fic...or parody...ugh...

One day a boy woke up; who just turned 10. Today he was goin to start his journey to be the bestest super ultra mega alpha waffles Pogeyman master EVER. So he ran downstairs, ate some BACON, and ran out the door. He was a 4’3 feet Libra that liked honey baked ham, New Orleans type jazz, and long walks on the beach. “Son your leaving in your underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” his mom called, but he didn’t care.. He just wanted to get to the prof’s laboratatoyrty. He ran up to prof. Oak and his evil archenemy ONIONS was already there standing and breathing because he hated ONIONS and his evil doing mind ahahahahahaha.
OMG! I Like bacon but not onions!

waffles
Mmmm....Waffles....
So Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III became the bestest super ultra mega alpha waffles Pogeyman master EVER, and he did it all without pants. THE END.
OMG!
So this car guy did it all without pants???
That's like so like terrible!

My head feels warped.
Too...good...to...rate...
I LIKE TO EAT PIES AND I LIKE KIRBY COS KIRBY IS AWESOME AND SIMPLEST AT THE SAME TIM!!!!
Everything ends,
and that's always sad.
But everything begins again, too,
and that's always happy.
Age 28
On the Outskirts of Onett, Twoson, and Podunk, with my toothbrush
Seen October 5th, 2014
Posted April 11th, 2010
255 posts
15.4 Years
Oh my God! The emotion! The tension! It was too much to bear; I was glued to my seat the whole time! I can see how ONIONS was such a jerk and why his hate for Mercedes Benz Over Jnr. III was justified. The scenery was beautifully described, so vivid I actually felt that I was there! I loved reading about how Mercedes struggled to achieve his goal- And thankfully, all eight badges were there rather than the seven that would've crushed the poor boy.

Ohoho! Parodies! How I love them so. i need to reed noob fiks moar D: I want a female Nidoran ... I wrote my own parody, but it was more picking on Gary Stus and whatnot rather than your hilarious exaggerations.

So Lance and Yellow fly away to star in Face Down
I know that's what you were going for.

Aorio is to blame for this masterpiece.

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
Anyway, now that you've had your fun, you need to update Just A Brother.
Pfft, right. When I get the inspiration to write it. I hit an area that I'm stuck in. -shrug- But you're right, I need to hurry that up since band camp(shut up) is coming up soon.

I am going to try and review this fic in an intelligent and mature manner. First off, about the grammar...

Oh forget it, I can't pretend to be serious right now. My sincere feelings about this fic will follow shortly:

LULZ!!!!1! WUZ S0 AWSUM! MOAR PLS!!!
I was about to say...grammar is supposed to be bad in this. xD

OMG!
So this car guy did it all without pants???
That's like so like terrible!
I know, right? ;D

Oh my God! The emotion! The tension! It was too much to bear; I was glued to my seat the whole time! I can see how ONIONS was such a jerk and why his hate for Mercedes Benz Over Jnr. III was justified. The scenery was beautifully described, so vivid I actually felt that I was there! I loved reading about how Mercedes struggled to achieve his goal- And thankfully, all eight badges were there rather than the seven that would've crushed the poor boy.

Ohoho! Parodies! How I love them so. i need to reed noob fiks moar D: I want a female Nidoran ... I wrote my own parody, but it was more picking on Gary Stus and whatnot rather than your hilarious exaggerations.
Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III(oh how I'm sick of typing that) is a Gary Stu.

but omg thanx u peeps cuz this is da bestestestestes story EVAR!!!!!!!111!!11!!!! lol wut
BURY ME SIX FEET DEEP COVER ME IN CONCRETE
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Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted April 20th, 2020
4,423 posts
15.4 Years
Ahaha. That was pretty good. How I didn't see it before now I don't know. You know what else though? It reminds me of loads of n00bish fan fics I've read over the last few months and it's nearly exactly the same as most of them, except it was more taking game canon than anime. Still, that was seriously good. I loved it. The best part would have to be the Missingno evolution sequence.
'It's been a prevalent notion. Fallen sparks. Fragments of vessels broken at the Creation. And someday, somehow, before the end, a gathering back to home. A messenger from the Kingdom, arriving at the last moment. But I tell you there is no such message, no such home -- only the millions of last moments . . . nothing more. Our history is an aggregate of last moments.'
Non-binary
Seen March 10th, 2023
Posted June 14th, 2017
777 posts
15.6 Years
Oh. My. God.

That was impressive. Everything that Falling Star said, I agree with whole-heartedly. I believe ONIONS was my favorite character. He was so cruel, but I could really relate to him and his [email protected]$0m3n3$$. I also loved COOLGUY as well; the lush description you gave him when he evolved into Arceus made it feel as if he were a living, breathing creature of ult1m1t3 pwnz0rz.

I must say I have been inspired. Never again will I write a fic of my own without thinking of this one and trying to match its gr8n3$$. *g03z 2 v0t [email protected]*
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
I see someone's been reading my OT cliche list, eh?

So he ran downstairs, ate some BACON, and ran out the door.
Aw man, it's always got to have bacon. I remember seeing bacon for breakfast in a fic that was trying to be Japanese once, and I thought "Gee, even if western cuisine is popular in Japan, why isn't there a mention of the fact that this isn't a normal breakfast? Where's the miso soup?" But that's another story.

“Well you can pick this shiny Eevee, female Nidoran ♂ , or this shiny EV trained Dialga”
Can you tell me where to get a female Nidoran ♂? Because I totally want one now. I mean, it's the Yubel of Pokemon. *shot'ed for GX reference*

Female Nidoran [insert male sign here] DIED and ONIONS returned it and payed Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III $110. “Well fine I’m leaving.” ONIONS and his Turtwig left the lab.
Where did he get that from? o.0 Maybe he rescued an injured Turtwig... wait, you forgot the injured Pokemon rescue sequence! Minus fifty points! *smacks with glove*

x x x x

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
Where did he get that from? o.0 Maybe he rescued an injured Turtwig... wait, you forgot the injured Pokemon rescue sequence! Minus fifty points! *smacks with glove*
It was supposed to be a glitch parody right there.

Oh, and I'm telling on you again. :<

Can you tell me where to get a female Nidoran ♂? Because I totally want one now. I mean, it's the Yubel of Pokemon. *shot'ed for GX reference*
I was sitting in my room writing this and thought of it. So original, right?
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Sweet Dreams

are made of these~

a store near YOU!
Seen January 23rd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
703 posts
15.3 Years
GAWD lyk LOLZ!! u shood right a seqel rite NOW!!1!! dis waz da awsomest storie eva!!!1!!!

No, honestly, I actually fell out of my chair whilst reading this... A Root Fossil evolves into an egg which hatches into an Aerodactyl that can use Frenzy Plant... I don't know how you got everything right. The amount of research you must have undergone to bring us with such accurate information in the guise of a splendid documentary of a trainer's life must have been tedious. Bravo.

He ran up to prof. Oak and his evil archenemy ONIONS was already there standing and breathing because he hated ONIONS and his evil doing mind ahahahahahaha
Oh no! ONIONS is standing and breathing! The horrifying malevolence in this act wrings my heart.

This is seriously encouraging me to venture into the lands of terrible fanfiction just to see how many are in all actuality like this. And don't forget to sign me up on the waiting list for a female Nidoran ♂!



Friends for Infinity
art (right) by the amazing Kitty


Age 26
Male
Precisely 15 miles north of the peak of Mt. Silver
Seen April 1st, 2016
Posted December 19th, 2011
761 posts
15.3 Years
I'm laughinig like crazy now.

-tries to stop self from laughing-

...

-Fails-

I love how you did all that 1337 speak. This was my favorite line:

So Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III became the bestest super ultra mega alpha waffles Pogeyman master EVER
And this is some beautiful spelling:

He just wanted to get to the prof’s laboratatoyrty.
Wow. laboratatoyrty? Is that some new kind of pasta? LOL man LOL.