My Name Is Fuega Page 2

Started by Sunnybeam July 22nd, 2008 7:41 PM
  • 1957 views
  • 27 replies

Clevink

Don't mess with Espeon...

Age 29
Seen July 27th, 2014
Posted January 10th, 2010
101 posts
14.8 Years
See my last post. Keep it up ;) the only thing I might suggest is you somehow incorporate what Pokemon everyone is, instead of saying the name say the species. Like right after Kit (Vulpix, right?) said something, then say, "The Vulpix then added," that's a crappy example, but you get my drift. AWESOME once again!

Credit goes to: -Sonic~Boom-

Bay

She/They
Dani California
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
6,347 posts
17 Years
Hey, Aqua! I say, quite like the story you have so far. ^^ Sorry if this review’s short, but it’s so far what I think of this story and also playing catch up. ^^;

One of the good things I love about this fic is the way you portrayed the Pokemon’s emotions in it and also so their personalities. For instance, love Freesk (he’s so cute! Why does he have to die? ;_;), love that Zangoose (he’s crazy! XD), and also Furega.

Speaking of her, love her interactions with Freesk and Kevin. Haha at first she’s a bit fuzzy about them but then trusts them more. Also, really love her evolution scene. Seriously, love how you portrayed her feelings during the evolution. Best one I’ve seen in a while. ^^

The only criticism I can give is the scene when Kevin let Freesk out to find Fuega, you didn’t really give another scene where Kevin and Clare couldn’t find both Fuega and Freesk. That makes me wonder if both of them became worried over the two Pokemon or not. That’s minor, though.

Again, liking the story so far. Interesting you’re doing a trainer story more on the Pokemon’s POV. This fic has potential. :) Well, hope to do a better review next chapter!
Miles Edgeworth
Foul Play [On Hiatus]