Okay, with new found Knowledge about fan-fics that Rekhyt gave me, I improved my chapters, so please read them & I hope their better than the last ones.
Well, I'll take your criticism & take it to consideration. Thank you for spotting out the errors. I promise to learn from them.
Lies, lie, lies.
Well, maybe not all of it, but you certainly didn't do near enough, IMHO.
If you did go back to the previous chapters, well, i don't see much evidence of major improvement. There's still a major lack of description here. What does the setting look like? The characters? How they do things? The Pokemon? I do not see any evidence of this. The main character - well, ten years old, has trusty running boots, and... well, that's it! How can we know what she looks like if there's nothing telling us what she looks like! Clothes? Big or small? Hair colour and style? Personality! Where's that? How does she do things - shyly, or confidently?
You NEED to consider these aspects for a story. Description is a intregral part of a good story - but yours has an notable absence of it.
Now, in the last chapter, there ARE bits and pieces of this. Noticeable improvement there - but only in small sections from time to time. Don't do some, think 'heh, that's enough for now', and go back to dialogue. Spread the description out some more. And use more of it.
But you didn't fix the first few chapters enough. No description there. What are people going to read first when they visit this thread? The first chapters. If they don't like it, they'll stop reading - therefore it's important to make the whole fic of a high standard, not just parts of it.
There are small mistakes everywhere as well. Noticable punctuation mistakes and and all. I reccommend reading DarkPersian's Grammer Advice thread, as there is a good explanation for what's right and what's wrong, including on the really nitpicky rules concerning dialogue. Chances are you'll learn something - heck, I did, for there are a number of little rules on punctuation and all.
Also - you ignored the part on posting chapters quickly. You posted three in a day, and someone said that it's not a good idea. So you then post two in one day thus far! How is that any better?
An unwritten law of fanfiction is to slow down the chapter updates - give about a week minimum, generally. This gives you time to edit the story, improve on it, and so forth. Heck - the better writers commonly take ages - months for chapter updates! But their work is good for that reason - they took their time in making it good, and didn't rush their work. For rusing writing is one of the worst things you can do. Just slow down, and give readers time to catch up as well. Reading several chapters isn more daunting for new readers as opposed to one or two.
You're new to this it seems. I suggest firstly having a look at the better written fics around here. Get an idea of how the better writers do their thing, and how they use description. Take a look at that other thread I mentioned. And for goodness sakes
slow down. Nothing bad is going to happen if you take time to write new content or post new content - rushing it will. Instead, take the time to fix the previous chapters. Use more description, fix those mistakes, and think your fic further. Characters, plot, everything. I'd also advise getting a Beta Reader (see the Beta Thread) to help you in your story - they tend to be quite helpful for new writers.
Sorry if I sounded harsh, but your story does need way more work there. REALLY listen to what Rekhyt said there, and really do implement those things in your writing and what you do. It's only being of benefit for you and your story, and are important basic things in writing. Don't rush things, read other people's work, read the guides on writing around here and in the loungue, and good luck for your fic in the future. Realise that good stories do need work put in - a fair bit of it.