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  #1    
Old September 28th, 2008 (11:33 PM). Edited September 30th, 2008 by Satoshi Sugimori.
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Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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    Life brings pain and glory,
    My life is like an never ending story,
    Unwanted things happen all the time,
    Not the way I like it the way that isn't fine.

    My life has brought me so much misery,
    That the only thing I can see,
    Is the bad side of everything,
    And I can't listen to how the birds sing.

    Just a little time ago,
    I was left by the ones I looked up to,
    And all I had was sorrow,
    I have learnt of the experience from the things I had to do,

    I got wiser but not without any sacrifice,
    I had to leave my youth on the breaking ice,
    Now I feel like an adult but look like an child,
    No one understands and that's making me feel like going wild,

    I just can't live on my own,
    It is bad just like my father and mother have shown,
    I just don't want to be alone any more,
    I need someone that helps me and to care for.

    Pains of Life by Satoshi Sugimori


    I'm sorry if there are any spelling faults please correct me if you find them

    A haiku:

    All alone are the words
    That is what you don't deserve
    It's bad all alone

    (this is right, right?)
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      #2    
    Old September 30th, 2008 (3:29 PM).
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    eevee00 eevee00 is offline
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      A lovely poem, I only saw three mistakes, missery should be misery, whitout should with without and I think anymore is two words instead of one.

      Anyway, I enjoyed this poem, keep writing.
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        #3    
      Old September 30th, 2008 (3:48 PM).
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      Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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        Thank you:D I changed it
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        Old September 30th, 2008 (6:12 PM).
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        Lady Berlitz Lady Berlitz is offline
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by eevee00 View Post
          A lovely poem, I only saw three mistakes, missery should be misery, whitout should with without and I think anymore is two words instead of one.
          Actually, "anyone" is one word, if that is what Satoshi Sugimori is meaning.

          Otherwise, the story is great. I hope you continue to write more.
          Good luck, Satoshi.
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          Old October 1st, 2008 (4:09 AM).
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          Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Infernal Contraption View Post
            Actually, "anyone" is one word, if that is what Satoshi Sugimori is meaning.

            Otherwise, the story is great. I hope you continue to write more.
            Good luck, Satoshi.
            Actually I do mean anymore
            Thanks And I'll write some more I think :D
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