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  #1    
Old October 1st, 2008 (12:04 AM). Edited October 1st, 2008 by Surf.
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Surf Surf is offline
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    Hi i'm Hackimon12
    This is m first Sprite Comic so please don't be mean:

    Intro:

    please leave your comments

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    I'm looking for some good (When I say good,
    I mean you can hold your own by yourself)
    N**i Zombies players, to form a team or even a
    clan, to play with casually.
    Send me a PM with your Highest Level and your PSN,
    and I'll get back to you.

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      #2    
    Old October 1st, 2008 (4:06 PM).
    [NovaPirate]'s Avatar
    [NovaPirate] [NovaPirate] is offline
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      Frankly, it's not that good. But we'll let you off because it's your first. Thank god you saved in .PNG, saved you a beating, but anyways, you need speech bubbles. Nothing fancy, just the ellipses tool in Paint works fine.

      Next, you need a plot, or at least an idea. This comic is about nothing. You wasted near half of the comic doing nothing. So, let's start it off by a panel to panel crit session.

      Panel #1;
      Useless. It's much more space efficient to put a small text below or above the comic stating it's yours. Wasting an entire panel to do so is.. Wasteful.

      Panel #2;
      It would be handy to know what the M.P. is, and I find it offensive that you say we. Since there is no other person in the comic, I can infer that you mean the reader(s) as well as your character.

      Panel #3;
      I hate it when people do this. It's not funny at all, and it's incredibly overused. Frankly, as of right now, I don't care what the main character thinks. I am annoyed by him.

      Panel 4;

      You used the invert tool. That was your first mistake. Do not use the invert tool unless absolutely necessary. Second, the whole Author vs. Character is very overused. Something original please. You also forgot to get rid of the black box surrounding the character. You should have put the character on a non-white background, then inverted it, then got rid of the background, then pasted him in the panel. Since you've already stated the comic is yours, the copyright thing is useless.

      Overall;
      Not horrible, not great either. Think of original ideas rather than cliches. You need a plot, a title would be handy, as well as a name for your main character. This may sound mean at first, but this is crit. It may sound a little too harsh than I usually like it to sound, but the point is that if you listen to crit, you'll get better. If you fight crit, you won't get better.
      Also work on your grammar. There should be periods, exclamation points, or question marks at the end of every sentence. Initials have a period after every letter (M.P.). Don't write in all caps. If the font only uses caps, then use a different font.

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      This signature is under construction.
      But dun worry.
      It will most likely stay like this FOREVAH.
      Because I'm nowhere near as active as I used to be.
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        #3    
      Old October 2nd, 2008 (3:48 PM).
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      Fox♠ Fox♠ is offline
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        You broke the 4th wall, really badly too. You also added a badly thought out God complex,you have no plot, no speech bubbles and no real punchline to boot.

        I'm gonna be honest here. It's bad, real bad. I've seen worse, but tbh that isn't a good thing. I understand this is your first comic, and if it looked utterly horrible, but had a half decent plot, character, punchline or speech bubbles, it would of still being better.

        Take on board everything me and Novapirate said, don't listen to the members who will say "this is really good olololol" because they don't actually understand what a good comic is and will just lap up ANY comic made with sprites because they assume it;s difficult.

        What you should also do is post your comics as you make them in the SC lounge so then people can help you step by step.

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          #4    
        Old October 2nd, 2008 (4:07 PM).
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        Glitter Stain Glitter Stain is offline
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          The panels are all different sizes, and you've gone over the border on the 2nd panel as stated before. (Or 3rd... it's hard to tell.) [And now that I'm thinking of it, you did it on the last panel, too.] The idea you used... just isn't a plausible idea. It's been used so many times, and it was hardly funny the first time someone used it. Two more things, the font is bad (don't use all caps) and never use inverted sprites unless you're making fun of people who do.

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            #5    
          Old October 2nd, 2008 (5:21 PM).
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          Surf Surf is offline
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            Okay your critisms are taken into account and you are all right

            __________________

            I'm looking for some good (When I say good,
            I mean you can hold your own by yourself)
            N**i Zombies players, to form a team or even a
            clan, to play with casually.
            Send me a PM with your Highest Level and your PSN,
            and I'll get back to you.

            Reply With Quote
              #6    
            Old October 3rd, 2008 (6:20 AM).
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            Fox♠ Fox♠ is offline
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Rob-120 View Post
              Okay...lets see...the mapping isn't that bad, speech bubbles would help (hard to see letters when theres a cliff in the backdrop ><), more story/plot it comic, more jokes needed, WHATS WITH THE INVERT , and OMG! Whats with the god complex!

              Overall...ITS HORRIBLE >< ! I'm sorry, but you truely need to work on this a whole heck of a lot more...

              But your comic uses bad speech bubbles and a God complex too, who are you to rag at him over it?

              ESPECIALLY when he's being told like 3 times by us and he's already said he's taken the crit on board for the next issue.

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                #7    
              Old October 3rd, 2008 (12:37 PM).
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              Rob-120 Rob-120 is offline
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                but I at least have a speech bubble...he has a line with words above it...and at least my god complex goes with the story line...anyways, I'm srry dude, just thought I'd say something considering I was bord out of my mind this morning! GOSH! You really like to piss people off don't you foxhound!!!

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                  #8    
                Old October 3rd, 2008 (1:12 PM).
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                Fox♠ Fox♠ is offline
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Rob-120 View Post
                  but I at least have a speech bubble...he has a line with words above it...and at least my god complex goes with the story line...anyways, I'm srry dude, just thought I'd say something considering I was bord out of my mind this morning! GOSH! You really like to piss people off don't you foxhound!!!

                  No, I just dislike talentless hacks trying to act like the big lad on campus and put down other members over mistakes that you make in every issue. I found this comic to be average for a first attempt. He's tried to add a punchline that didn;t work, but he took on board what we said for the next issue. There was no reason for you to rehash our words just to look big and clever.

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                    #9    
                  Old October 3rd, 2008 (1:26 PM). Edited October 3rd, 2008 by Rob-120.
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                  Rob-120 Rob-120 is offline
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                    DUDE! I SAID IT WAS GOOD! WHATS WRONG WITH Y--- wait...I said it was horrible...*Smacks head* I really need to remember what I say...wait...when did I post that? *twitches*

                    Edit: I found out what happened...I stayed logged in and my older bro wrote it....

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                      #10    
                    Old October 3rd, 2008 (1:40 PM).
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                    Glitter Stain Glitter Stain is offline
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                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Rob-120 View Post
                      but I at least have a speech bubble...he has a line with words above it...and at least my god complex goes with the story line...anyways, I'm srry dude, just thought I'd say something considering I was bord out of my mind this morning! GOSH! You really like to piss people off don't you foxhound!!!
                      Matt doesn't try to piss people off. People post bad advice which is basically asking for someone to piss them off.

                      It's not great. It's not "HORRIBLE". It's just average for a first attempt.

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