#5 - Majora's Wrath (The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask) : It's only #5 because I simply
do not beat the game without the Fierce Deity's Mask. I just don't. Honestly, I don't even know how you're supposed to hurt the damn thing without it...
#4 - Mr. Patch (Banjo-Tooie) : Honestly, the first time I played through Banjo-Tooie, I didn't even beat this guy (if you had to, I saved him for when I had no other option but to fight him.) I have terrible aim, and fighting this guy was a royal pain. He's gigantic, assaults you with giant...bouncing balls, and not only do you have to hit him in a specific area when he's moving with slow-moving projectiles, but he can just turn around and be all "lul, YOU TRIED TO HIT ME, lululululul". Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, he gets SMALLER and more agile as he takes damage, and there are less targets that you're able to hit. What a resource killer, this thing. :(
#3 - Gruntilda (Banjo-Kazooie.) : The only reason I ever played through this blasted game once. This game was one of the best games I've ever played, but the sheer "ugh"ness of the game's final boss was enough to put me off. I mean, with the two Banjo-Kazooie games for the N64, they did one of the most wrench-throwing things ever - making a ridiculously fun and addictive puzzle / game to play through right before fighting the final boss, and then throwing right into a ridiculously boring and arduous final boss fight. Grunitlda was ridiculously long, because, as stated earlier, you had to summon four Jinjos and the Jinjonator in order to deliver the final blow. The Jinjo statues were activated by aiming very precise shots (without FPV, no less) into very small holes in the statues that would activate them. You had to do this four times for five statues, and refills on ammo were slow in comparison to the rapid-fire attacks Gruntilda threw at you during the intermissions. Ridiculous fight is ridiculous.
#2 - Saint - Million / Shambertin / Kondrieu (Phantasy Star Online : Blue Burst) : Red, blue or green, regardless of what form you fought this gigantic snake incased in stone in, one thing was clear: THIS THING IS A FACKIN PAIN. Directly after bursting out of its encasement in one of the coolest boss intros
ever, it proceeds to send an army of spinning blades to hamper your progress to killing him. As you do, it spins around the arena, effectively keeping you inside a small circular arena full of spinning blades on steroids. (Even a level 200 RAcaseal with level 81 Deband takes about 40% damage from it, and is almost always knocked down.) The worst part is, in order to damage the leviathan, you have to kill one of these stupid spinning blades with a different color. Even then, others almost always get in the way of your progress, knocking you down and stopping your combos, and often times killing you. If you manage to get it killed, the leviathan then rears its tail into the air, exposing its weak points for a rather lengthy amount of time. After taking out a few of the diamonds on its tail, it then gets really mad, barfs on the crystal you used to set it free, then retreats to one of three locations. After you figure out where it went, you go to it to get barraged by tornado attacks, more of the spinning blades, and SHOOP DA WHOOPS. You can attack its weak points in between it firing its laser (which does RIDICULOUS amounts of damage), and then it will run BACK to the middle of the arena, where it will stand ready to fight but with it's neck's diamonds exposed. If you can destroy all of them, it dies. Otherwise, it goes back to the beginning. Personally, having never come above level 130 on Blue Burst, I never went into the battle and came out not having died once. It is nearly impossible for even the strongest of fighters to escape this battle without having died.
#1 - King K. Rool (Donkey Kong Country 2 / Donkey Kong 64) : Yes, I cheated by putting the same boss from two games. Well, DKC2 is possibly the best game I've ever played and my favorite of all time (Yoshi's Island is its only competition), so it's only fitting that it has a ridiculously hard boss. The difficulty isn't in actually inflicting damage to K. Rool; it's being able to survive the ENTIRE BATTLE (which is
ridiculously long) with but the opportunity to dodge two hits of his barrage of spiked musket rounds (until an extra freebie comes by). It doesn't help that one of those opportunities provides a much better ability to avoid the musket rounds. But the best part about this guy is that he doesn't cop out after being beaten the first time. Nope, this guy comes back for round 2 if you can beat him by accessing and beating all the levels in the Lost World, which yields the hardest levels in the game by a long shot. In my opinion, the levels are much harder than K. Rool, but that's because I have a mastery of timing and rhythm. The second fight with K. Rool himself has its advantages and disadvantages compared to the first. The advantage is that it's a
much shorter fight. The disadvantages? Not only are there much more projectiles to dodge, but you don't get 3 freebies like you did in the first fight. However, the former is nothing after just having come through levels where an inch off of your precision skills can cost you your life. The sheer "OMFG I WON, FINALLY" factor is enough to give it the number 1 spot, because we tend to call the most difficult bosses the ones that yield the most satisfaction after you've beaten them.
That doesn't hold true for the DK64 K. Rool. He may be ridiculously long and ridiculously...awkward to fight, but after you've beaten him, you don't have that sense of accomplishment that you do for beating a game with the calibre of Donkey Kong 64. The game itself provides multiple fun challenges that involve puzzles, time attacks, hunts, and other such fun endeavors, but after you've beaten them and get to K. Rool, you don't feel as much "OK, THIS IS IT!" as you do "oh...well, here we go...". It's annoying, honestly. The fight is awkward; you fight in a boxing ring that's inside of a broken ship. The ship somehow has a ridiculously huge audience, one that wouldn't fit the ship, but hey, this was the time where logic wasn't as analyzed. Regardless, the fight itself is split into five long, arduous parts, each for one seperate Kong to tackle. All of them require timing and aiming, two elements that the target demographic of a game like this severely lack. That's the thing about games these days; they lack such elements. You can shoot any old thing at any old time and the game will throw roses at your feet as if you just won the Olympics. (Pardon my Zero Punctuation moment.) Anyway, the fight is really long and really hard, but it's extremely boring throughout and doesn't provide much satisfaction in beating it. It's only at the top of my list because it's
fackin' hard.
Bluh, long post was long.