I Feel a Change in Heart!

Started by Honest November 10th, 2008 2:59 PM
  • 1735 views
  • 15 replies
  • Poll

How good is the song???

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
Hiya!!!!! I made this song while makin my sig. I wanna know how you people like it. It might sound wierd, but your just readin it. Put some rytem to it!!!!!! Rate it out of 10.

We live our life forever
Not knowin' whats ahead
But we know somthing's comin'
Death's cold rotting hand

He made a choice
and came to me
but then he saw you
and then I was Free

Hook:
Why, why, why
Death, why, why
Why did you choose her
and not I

Chorus:
Death had change in heart (Echoed again)
Death had change in heart (Echoed again)

Chorus

She's now in heaven
While im stuck here
I dont deserve this
Living is my fear

Hook:

Chorus:
Chorus:

I feel demented
A demon in skin
Im leavin' my life
Death, you win

Chorus:

Hook:

Now Im with her
My life's love
By my life is over
Death you've won
(echo) you've won
(echo) you've won





This is a rock song, BTW. LOLz
he did it, not me.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
Wow. I absolutely love this song. I am not being sarcastic this is good! I rate it 15/10. Dude you gotta make more songs like this...I love them.
I made this song up!!!!! LOLz. Thanks!
he did it, not me.

Spinor

<i><font color="b1373f">The Lonely Physicist</font></i>

Age 26
Male
Seen February 13th, 2019
Posted October 4th, 2015
5,175 posts
17.3 Years
You need more lyrical vocabulary sense. It is very good for an amateur song, but to really get it just a bit more "abstract", I reccomend a higher range of vocabulary and unique parts. For example, don't repeat the chorus a lot. DragonForce makes 7 minute songs and only repeat the chorus like 3 times. Also, put more words that express emotion. We get that you did not want a loss, but what in detail do you FEEL? Good songs have original similes that express feelings of an event, add more emotions and would be worthwhile as a love-rock song like "Duele el amor", except... more gringo XD.

Over all, this song is a 7/10, re-touch some of those lyrics.

Alex

what will it be next?

Seen December 30th, 2022
Posted December 26th, 2022
6,407 posts
16.4 Years
This is a really cryptic song. But, the lyrics are very juvenile and overused. Repeating "death" and "why" isn't very lyrically and meaningfully deep. It almost seems like a wanna-be emo/punk rock song. It needs a little more time and dedication in my opinion, but it's definitely not zero. I just think you need to work at it a bit a re-post later on when you think it's really outstanding and expresses your feelings to the fullest.

Since I feel that it is incomplete, I won't be rating it.

Signomi

Age 32
Female
Britland (United Kingdom)
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted October 10th, 2022
7,480 posts
17.8 Years
Right, this may be a forum for polls, but this thread is way out of place. Something like this belongs in Poetry, which seems closest for song lyrics in my opinion.

~Moved

Dance, Carmen! ☆★

Paired with Aizuke » @instagram

Seen September 24th, 2020
Posted November 26th, 2018
2,143 posts
14.7 Years
4/10. The Lyrics, are a bit meh. It doesn't flow well, so that is meh. The Point of it is good. The Repeating Chorus, is to much. Well, at least you tried. You will get better with practice. My advice, use more emotional words, and maybe try stepping the voacbulary up a notch. You words are like a second graders words to know.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
4/10. The Lyrics, are a bit meh. It doesn't flow well, so that is meh. The Point of it is good. The Repeating Chorus, is to much. Well, at least you tried. You will get better with practice. My advice, use more emotional words, and maybe try stepping the voacbulary up a notch. You words are like a second graders words to know.
Um, Thanks? Well, yeah. I always go to Papa roach for words and advice and stuff. :)
he did it, not me.
Seen September 18th, 2020
Posted February 18th, 2018
7,741 posts
16.6 Years
-1 for apparently love-centric theme.
-1 for apparently emo-centric theme.
-1 for the lyrics being English.
-1 for short chorus.
-1 for repetetive chorus.
+1 for some good lines.
+2 because I think this would sound good musically.

So with a natural default of 5/10, the final result is 3/10.


Edit: Accidentally gave 4/10 on the poll.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
-1 for apparently love-centric theme.
-1 for apparently emo-centric theme.
-1 for the lyrics being English.
-1 for short chorus.
-1 for repetetive chorus.
+1 for some good lines.
+2 because I think this would sound good musically.

So with a natural default of 5/10, the final result is 3/10.


Edit: Accidentally gave 4/10 on the poll.
Ok? Thats a lot of stuff. And, yeah. Im, not emo myself, but i think emo:( (Wierd)
And it bring English??? Im American! Or is it that your not? And I talk about love Often. :)
he did it, not me.