The Beauty Of Feebas

Started by Levity-Adam November 22nd, 2008 12:50 PM
  • 662 views
  • 4 replies
Seen December 10th, 2008
Posted December 9th, 2008
25 posts
14.7 Years
The Beauty Of Feebas

It's frowning face and tortured fin,
has this Pokemon carried a befouled sin?
Nay!
What it carries is something so pure,
the beauty within is what Trainers lure.
With eyes that gleam so crystal clear,
It's see's within what we most fear...
The fear of a beautiful Feebas.


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This is the first Pokemon related poetry I have ever written. Please give me some constructive criticism to help me get better!
Age 31
Seen March 14th, 2009
Posted November 30th, 2008
224 posts
15 Years
Lovely poem =) So nice to see someone who knows Feebas is beautiful.

I have a issue with these lines:

the beauty within is what Trainers lure.

^ Is that supposed to mean that the beauty within lures trainers?

With eyes that gleam so crystal clear,
It's see's within what we most fear...

Does the last line mean that we see the beauty that we most fear? Or Feebas sees what we most fear? The apostrophes confuse me a little there ^_^

Paired with Vivaa <3 Credit to Vivaa for the signature.
Artists Secret Santa
Seen December 10th, 2008
Posted December 9th, 2008
25 posts
14.7 Years
Lovely poem =) So nice to see someone who knows Feebas is beautiful.

I have a issue with these lines:

the beauty within is what Trainers lure.

^ Is that supposed to mean that the beauty within lures trainers?

With eyes that gleam so crystal clear,
It's see's within what we most fear...

Does the last line mean that we see the beauty that we most fear? Or Feebas sees what we most fear? The apostrophes confuse me a little there ^_^
Sorry about the lagging reply...
'The beauty within is what trainers lure'. In this line I mean that Trainers want a feebas because of it's inner beauty, thus 'luring' them.
'It see's within what we most fear'.This line means that Feebas see' what the trainer fears.
Sorry if my poem wasn't clear enough, I'll work at a better one in the near future!
Thanks for commenting though!