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  #1    
Old January 16th, 2009 (2:08 PM).
The Heavenly Hunter's Avatar
The Heavenly Hunter The Heavenly Hunter is offline
The Heavenly Sword Wielder
     
    Join Date: Jan 2009
    Location: In The Flying Foxs Den rescuing Kai.
    Age: 21
    Gender:
    Posts: 3
    Thank You

    The sun sets
    Upon the golden sand
    We sit together
    Hand in hand

    We gently embrace
    And look into each other's eyes
    I wonder if you are
    An angel in disguise

    You hold me
    Like there's no tomorrow
    I suddenly forget
    The past sorrow

    I kiss your soft lips
    And you kiss mine
    I never knew
    Loving someone could be this fine

    You pick me up
    And carry me to our room
    Oh how a love can blossom
    And a heart can bloom.

    Your touch is so gentle
    But your hands so strong
    How could a love like this
    Ever go wrong?

    My heart is beating
    200 times a minute
    Because my love
    You are in it

    The sound of your heartbeat
    All through the night
    We fall asleep in each other's arms
    And wake to the morning light.

    I look into your eyes
    And this is when
    I say "Thank You"
    For teaching me to love again.

    Well waddya think?
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      #2    
    Old January 18th, 2009 (2:38 PM).
    h POKE's Avatar
    h POKE h POKE is offline
    angry kid and a keyboard
       
      Join Date: Nov 2008
      Location: CT
      Posts: 318
      I couldn't help but think of something dirty when I read this. But, ermm... If you're a man, it's generally pretty wrong to write from a woman's point of view. Just sayin'. A good poem, but the subject is, in my opinion cliche. On the positive side, you showed well the meaning of love.
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