PokemonMasterRazir
Sucks@ trying to learn trumpet
- 84
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Uh. Pallet town? >_>
- Seen Jul 31, 2009
I haven't been posting for a long time. So to make up for it I am creating this. I recently ripped the plastic off my new 'Pokemon Ranger Shadows of Almia' . I have decided to dedicate 40% of my day to type everything I do. Now the rating for most parts will be PG. If you see a '!' in the name I got frustrated and decided to type down the F-bomb alot. But knowing most people that will read this are the slightest bit mature ;l. Note : I put them in spoiler tags so people won't complain. So yeah.
Lets play this thing.
Part 1 : Good Morning Everyone
Awesome intro. "Together we shall rule the world!"
Dude , What the hell at this kid. When he is Ms. April (the teacher), it looked like he was running at walking speed. Did the animators mess up? Get lazy? Or what?
Quote:
Female Student:
Is the new student cute? Cool? Or look like a celebrity?
...there would be something very wrong with that if I was playing as a girl.
Six letter name only? What is this, communism? How do they expect people to name themselves William, Elizabeth, or Richard with that!? And no, Will, Liz, and especially Dick are NOT the same thing! I mean really, Dick? How do you get Dick from Richard?
Since they're being communists and all, I decided to name myself Vlad. I'd use Vladimir, but they're communists, and make me use a name that makes my guy sound like Dracula's cousin.
A guy called Keith with a big grin? Uh-oh. Already I have a bad feeling about this school...please don't make me sit next to him please don't make me sit next to him...
Quote:
Ms. April:
You can have the seat next to Keith.
DAMN IT!
Quote:
Ms. April:
From now on, you're all my students,
people whom I can take pride in teaching.
Deadly sins too? Makes me question who's really casting the Shadows on Almia.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Let's not fail your dreams of becoming
Rangers, Operators, and Mechanics!
Operators and Mechanics? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Those people need to GTFO.
Quote:
YEAAH!
If only this line were proceeded by a witty pun. Incidently, Vlad lit up when this line showed up (characters light up when they speak). And here I thought he was a silent protagonist!
Quote:
Ms. April:
But before I go, Vlad, I need to
explain something to you.
Oh hell, am I gonna be hit a lecture on morality?
Quote:
Ms. April:
It's a simplified version of a Ranger's
official Capture Styler
Oh, well okay. Wait, not okay! I don't need no stinkin' simplification!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Oh, please Keith.
Don't yawn with your mouth wide open like that.
Is this guy trying to seduce me? Great, and it just made me yawn too.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Rhythmi, can I get you to show Vlad
around the School, please?
What kind of a sick person names their daughter Rhythmi? Her parents sound like total hippies...then again, knowing RPGs, they're probably dead or members of the evil organization.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, new kid,I forgot your name, but how
long did it take you to capture Pikachu?
...well, at least he has an excuse for forgetting my name, mentioned just five seconds ago. Which incidently happens to be the time it took to capture the rat.
Quote:
Keith:
Like an hour?
XFD, KEITH SUCKS CRAP
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Keith's just a show-off.
Seems like he's showing off just how much he sucks, but hey, some people do that for a living!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Instead, you should be paying attention
to me.
Oh hells yeah. Vladdy's gonna get some action tonight, baby!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
I'm not here to become a Ranger.
I want to become an Operator instead.
Wait, what? She's one of those Operhaters? Didn't she see the application form? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Dumb blonde.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
So, when Keith becomes a Ranger, I can
order him around like my servant!
This, folks, is why I hope female impowerment never happens. His word against hers is already bad enough as it is.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Just joking!
Doesn't seem like you were.
So from what I can gather so far, Operators tell Rangers what to do, and becoming one is as simple as saying "hey I want to be an Operator" when you enter Ranger School. No previous experience with Rangering is required; even the most incompetent moron who knows absolutely nothing about Rangers can become one. I'd think that ones with a little more field experience would know how to encourage people to better perform as a Ranger, priorities in dispatching, and who goes where, but hey. Japan's the experts on this crap
Part 2 : Show me your moves!
So far, we have a teacher named Ms. April, a teacher who goes by Mr. Kincaid and is an strict guy, a lazy egotistical kid who sucks at being a Ranger called Keith, and some blonde chick called Rhythmi. Great.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That thing floating there is a Save
Machine.
I'd complain about that not being the way gyrotechnics work, but they've already trashed the Laws of Physics enough.
Now I get to explore the school building or something. Watch me run straight into an event.
Quote:
Keith:
You know, if a Top Ranger were to see me
do a capture, they'd be in awe.
Shock AND awe!
Quote:
Female Student:
Our School's quite liberal and relaxed.
Sadly, if they were to see Obama, they'd probably think he was an alien or something. All because the Pokemon World has never seen a black person before.
Yup. Just ran into an event. Went straight into Mr. Kincaid's class. He loves hair spray.
Quote:
Female Student:
My name is "Female Student."
This game's dialogue is so messed up.
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
There's one rule that I would like you to
honor and uphold while you're in School.
Don't run in the hallways.
It never occured to me until just now: Is it even possible to walk in this game?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
Oh, there is another rule: don't cast
suspicion on others without proof.
Good, now any tattletales won't be able to catch me. Everyone knows they don't have cameras.
I then ran into the staff room and found a guy called Mr. Lamont, the principal.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
His eyes are always twinkling happily behind
his glasses.
...so wrong...
Quote:
Principal Lamont:
I'm Lamont Splendidocious, the principal.
That's it.
Part 3 : This School Is Insane
Other notable faculty members:
Isaac - An "awesomely smart" guy who hangs out in the Library who wants to be a scientist. Also likes the Metric system.
Ponte - Some guy in the Library with low self-esteem, aka "conflicted marshmallow boy".
Janice - The caretaker.
Ms. Claire - Teaches "clearing targets" in the training room, whatever that means. Something involving wooden crates.
Mr. Kaplan - Teaches about capturing, and always talks in a tone as though he wants to take over the world.
Okay, so now I can go outside, but there's no one out there! These students are either vampires or complete...stickworms?
Quote:
Mr. Kaplan
Welcome to the inscrutable Team School's
secret hideout.
Mr. Kaplan is automatically my favorite character in this game.
Quote:
Mr. Kaplan
If the Styler runs out of energy, there's
nothing you can do about it.
Isn't this something they could've worked out in beta?
Quote:
yaddayaddyadda
So field Clears are just a fancy name for using special moves to remove obstacles. Seeing as how I can't do anything like, climb over them or move the lighter obstacles away myself, I have to use Pokemon to do it. Because destruction of nature/and or private property is fun! And yet, when I find a locked door, I can't just break the walls down and smash in. Hypocrits.
Quote:
Ms. Claire:
Touch the Bidoof.
Liiiiick the Bidoof. LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof.
Then Rhythmi says she has another place she wants me to see. Sounds foxy.
Part 4 : Another Place To See
So I go outside, and Janice is freaking out over a Bidoof.
Quote:
Janice:
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
Oh god, what the hell? There's like 10 of them.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
J-Janice?
She's having trouble with the Bidoof!
Rhythmi suddenly develops a stutter, and reveals that this faculty doesn't have competent staff. Yeah, sounds about right.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Please, Vlad! Capture the Bidoof and
get them to settle down!
Argh, for the love of... You see? THIS is why there should not be anything but Pokemon Rangers AND ONLY POKEMON RANGERS at Pokemon Ranger school, least of all in positions of power. When Operators and Caretakers and the like are helpless and the students have to help, you know trouble's-a-brewing.
Quote:
Keith:
Heh, I was wondering what the ruckus was
all about.
Oh hell yeah, meatshields!
Quote:
Keith:
We'll have a capture race, you and me!
Piece of cake!
Quote:
Keith:
I caught five!
Hacker.
Quote:
Keith:
I rate your captures 65 out of 100!
Dude, I got two S ranks and a B. That demands respect!
And it does? Sweet, man! Keith joins the party, and Rhythmi lets me come with them to Ascension Square or whatever, which is where she was going to take me. Okay, so first she was taking me there, and now she's letting me come? What is this?
Part 5 : Ascension Square
I see a Pichu and a Budew just chilling in the school yard. Also, the Pichu watches me, and, like most Pokemon seem to be doing, freak when I get close. Sadly, I can't force my teammates into fights.
I go ahead and catch these guys while I'm here
- Pichu
- Budew
- Taillow
Somehow, I'm able to cut up Wood Fences with Taillow's gust. I mean, I know high winds can do that, but I never knew they could cut them "into tiny fragments." Strangely, I can't seem to do...uhh...overkill captures or whatever. You know, when you circle more times than you have to for more experience.
Cutscenes have a brief fadeout it seems, and make your Pokemon temporarily vanish.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Next month, there's going to be a special
class here. It's the Outdoor Class.
What's so special about the outdoors? Well, besides everything else, but I'm one to think that capturing Pokemon in their natural environment (like, not indoors) should be part of basic training.
There's also some donut called the Pledge Stone and if you make a pledge with your friends,
Quote:
Rhythmi:
"...it will surely come true.
That's what Principal Lamont told me."
...okay. Jus the self-delusions of a gay guy.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That concluds Rhythmi's School Tour
of Wonder and Excitement!
Well, I did wonder what is wrong with people in the school, and was excited by the prospect of finally capturing.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Vlad! I'm glad to have met you!
I hope we can be friends for a long time!
Oh god, if this is going where I think it's going...
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, hold it now!
Thank you.
Quote:
Keith:
Don't worry about Rhythmi.
Be friends with me, okay?
Can't I be both? Not like she has cooties or anything. I think. Rhythmi calls him a "slick one".
Part 6 : Freakin' Hazing
So it's nighttime and I'm in my dorm. By which I mean the boy's dorms. Also, Keith is writing to his parents about me. So many homosexual implications here. Also, apparantly, my guy has a little sister, which he somehow communicates by having some lines appearing his head.
Quote:
Male Student:
The smartest person in the whole school
is Issac.
The student who's been here the longest...
That's me.
So the smartest student gets a name, yet the most experienced student doesn't? What is this ****? Why is Japan always hating on experience?
Quote:
Ponte:
Our boy genius Isaac is never around at
this time of night.
I wonder where he's out studying.
Hasn't Mr. boy genius ever heard of "early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise?"
Quote:
Keith:
Hey Vlad, you're not sleepy yet,
are you?
Come over here.
Nonononononono...
Oh wait, we're just sneaking out?
Quote:
Keith:
All right, I brought him.
He brought me to see Rhythmi, another girl, and some guy. Cool, one for him, two for me!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Everything's ready.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Okay, let's get started with our test of
Yes, yes, go on!
Quote:
courage to welcome Vlad
...aw, no,Just a shy person recption.
Quote:
Keep it down, but yay!
wat
Quote:
Keith:
We just want you to prove you're brave.
So you want me to sneak into the girl's dorm and steal some panties? Prank the principal, maybe?
Quote:
Keith:
I had to do it before, too.
It's no big deal.
Uhh...so basically, this is a hazing? Great.
Quote:
Keith:
But, you know, you do have that easily
spooked look to you. No offense.
Nobody...
...calls me...
...easily spooked...
Then my battery started to die so I decided to stop till later this afternoon or something.
Okay. I drank three cans of moutain dew. My DS is all charged up. Let's do it!
Part 7-Frat-Tastic
So I am just ready to be initiated into a frat that I had no business or interest in joining, and to do so, I need to take a test of courage or some crap.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
The rules are simple.
The four of us have hidden our Stylers in
four different places in the school.
Apparantly, scavenger hunts are things to be feared at this school.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
They are: Ms. April's Class, Mr. Kincaid's
class, the Staff Room, and the Library.
The only four rooms on the first floor!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Gather all four Stylers, then put them in
front of the door to the basement room.
The way they're putting this, it sounds like some kind of satanic ritual or something.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
It's not hard or anything, but it's also not
safe to go around.
I've got a capture Styler of my own and experience in the Metal Gear Solid ganes. Bring it on!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That's why we've always had this one rule:
the student seated next to the initate
has to go, too.
Err...so then who went with the people who started the frat?
Quote:
Keith:
WAAAAAAAAH!
Little loser. All there was was a creaking. And atmospheric music that sounds like it's from Earthbound.
Quote:
Keith:
Wah! Th-there's something there!
Keith is sweating rather profusely. All over a Bidoof who somehow got into the school. So I go to the Library and find...boxes. Which leads me to wonder just who put them there if you supposedly can't move them without a Smash ability.
Quote:
Keith:
The Library's scary at night, too.
He thinks randomly placed boxes and a Pichu just standing around is frightening. I wonder what he'd think about something that would actually should be scared of.
Hey, there's lighting effects here. I went to capture the Bidoof, and it properly appeared darker than normal. Nope, no "darker background but the sprites are the same" here, boys and girls!
As I enter the staff room, the camera zooms in on a Pichu for some reason.
Quote:
Keith:
This is the Staff Room...
And the hint for this room is...
The Styler we hid here doesn't stay still.
You understand, don't you?
Yeah, I understand (it's on the Pichu), but what I don't understand is how they got it on the thing. It's not like they could've just said "here, hold this plz" or anything. They didn't...AWW, NOW THAT IS NASTY!
Takes a short bit to chase it down (it runs faster than me!), but when I do, it goes down without a fuss. Then it vanishes into thin air and leave behind a Styler. Before reappearing and spazzing out momentarily.
Quote:
Keith:
This is the classroom next to ours...
Why are there freaking Zubats in here? Doesn't Almia have any pest control? No hint for this room, I just get told to hurry up and find it.
I capture Zubat while I'm here, who try to go after me. Then they get captured. The styler is hidden in the top-left of the room.
4. Zubat
Wait, I just thought of something. How did these people get back safely if they left their stylers all over the place? I'd imagine running into a Pokemon with no means of defense but your bare hands, maybe your shoe, isn't a particularly good idea.
Quote:
Keith:
Even our own classroom's kind of creep
at night...
Who put all those boxes there?
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, I'll give you a hint, even.
What wasn't here during the daytime.
Duh. Now to play the shell game.
Okay, so I just broke a box, and found a freaking Pichu in one. Judging by the script, I get that this frat put these boxes in the school, and summarily put it in there. I wonder what the teacher would have to say about this. I had to make a few trips because of it. It is, of course, in the crate you need to break another crate to get to (unless you smartly go around, which I didn't think to do at first). Breaking the other two out of curiosity, I find a Budew and...another Bidoof.
When you use a field move, the Pokemon go back to their original brightness as they run off. Hmm...
Finally back to the Library, as I have enough Bidoofs to get through.
I see the Styler as I break the first crate, but I can't do anything like say...reach across the table it's on, and so have to victimize another helpless inanimate object to get by.
Quote:
Keith:
Good, good. That's all of them, then.
Let's take them down to the basement.
Whoawhoawhoa, I thought we were just going to leave them at the top of the stairs. Just this morning they seemed so eager not to go down there, which is against the rules, by the way. Then again, rules were made to be broken.
The basement has this weird blue glow to it.
Quote:
Keith:
I never heard about a target like this.
I wonder who put it here?
Ghosts! And yep, I just heard Gastly's cry. A Wood Fence is in the way. Incidently, as I mentioned earlier, there was one outside. Guess Keith never really looked hard enough, huh? The game helpfully provides me with a Zubat right there to destroy it, which is just poor design.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, Vlad...
Have you been hearing anything?
Like weird noises?
No Keith. That's just the indians rising from the graveyard this school was built on.
Quote:
Keith:
Plunk down the Stylers here, then we go
back to the dorms, and we're done.
It's not over yet!
Quote:
Keith:
But hustle, will you?
I can't take much more of this...
SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT!
And here comes Gastly, baby!
Quote:
Keith:
BWAAAAAH!
Oh shi-! Wasn't expecting FOUR of them! Oh well, who's first?
I fight them all at the same time. Sadly, I have to settle for just two captured at a time rather than all four at once.
5. Gastly
Then Mr. Uptight Kincaid comes out of his lab, literally steamed. The basement is his and his alone! Everyone else must stay out! I wonder if he's conducting experiments to turn himself into a plant.
Then I somehow get a scene of Isaac being there, doing an experiment of some kind with "control systems" or something. Oh sure, he's allowed in. Apparantly, we were just a Zubat "causing a minor disturbance in the hallway." Uh-oh, is that a potential villain I smell?
Just to clear something up. I owned ranger 1. So I kinda have a taste of this game already.
Part 8-Outdoor Action
After that scene, I get a letter from "Little Sis" who thanks me for writing, and says my mom and dad are moving up now. Uh-oh. Sounds like a village is about to be destroyed!
Back in class, I get asked what day it is for some reason. It's Monday today in the real world (**** yeah RAW). Except...it's Outdoor Class. I thought that was in a month according to the in-game dialogue. Time sure flies! I'm gonna get to meet a real Ranger and Keith has 38 questions!
I explore around a little first, and fight a freaking Bidoof. At this time of day? There are also Pichus and a road block in front of the basement. I can't enter the Girl's Bedroom either...:(
I also find a Bonsly around which I can't get. Even though I can see it start pretending to be a tree!
A ranger with a giant fro? What is this, /b/? His name is Crawford, apparantly.
Quote:
Crawford:
This here's my Partner Pokemon, Budew
Budew? LOL
Quote:
Crawford:
And these are my Friend Pokemon!
Cherubi, Bellosom, Combee, Swellow? Why not have one of those as a parnter instead of...frickin' Budew? Everyone says "Wow, so cool!"
Outdoor Class consists of asking a Pokemon Ranger a bunch of questions while standing in a circle around him. The students ask questions like "why did you become a Ranger" and "what kinds of Pokemon are difficult to capture", and "can I become an Operator?" And apparantly, Stylers have a weakness to juice.
Then some Barlow guy gives voicemail about a Mantine hunt. And some Luana chick is heading to pick him up. I don't know how Rangers with Styluses are going to stop some angry sailors, but who cares? All the guys including Vlad think it's cool. And the girls beg him to save it. He runs off, everyone goes back to class, and Vlad, Keith, and Rhythmi make a pledge to make their dreams come true.
Then another letter shows up from "Little Sis", saying thanks for writing again and they're looking for a house now.
Part 9- Grand Theft Styler
Another time skip occurs, and apparantly the Mantine was saved and set back to the sea. And the lesson today is Rangers and Operator teamwork. It's a disasterous (sic) if it there is none. Yeah, I think it actually said that. Also, Keith isn't here.
Quote:
Ms. April:
It's the job of the Operators to light the
way for Rangers where no roads exist.
...
Quote:
Ms. April:
Operators support Rangers in other ways,
like recharging their Stylers.
Cool, just like a recharging machine! Or an electric type! They do it with a highly technological system called voicemail!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Let's start with Rhythmi as the Operator
and Keith doing the Ranger part.
BUT KEITH ISN'T HERE!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Ms. April, Keith isn't here yet.
So where is he? You seem to know quite a lot about this...
Quote:
Ms. April:
That's rare for Keith.
Did he sleep in, I wonder?
He's dead in a ditch for going in the basement. Duh. Oh well, more for me! I get a special styler with voicemail turned on. My guy moves at walking speed in his runny animation again and gets interrupted by Mr. Kincaid, who scolds him for running.
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
There is a small matter about which I would
like to speak with Keith.
Oh shi-I WAS JUST KIDDING!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Keith is running late today.
It's not like him, but...
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
Late, you say...
You see, we have a problem on our hands.
Hm?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
We had a number of Stylers stored in the
Staff Room. Had, I say.
Now the entire lot of them has
disappeared.
I've already confirmed the innocence of all
my students regarding this.
So he thinks Keith did it? Whatever happened to "don't cast suspicion on others without proof"?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
But that Keith boy is uncharacteristically
absent from class, you say...
Perhaps it's taking him time to find a place
to "stash" all those stolen Stylers?
Oh, now he's outright breaking his own rules. Fascist.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Mr. Kincaid!
Keith is a prankster, but he's no thief!
Keith: "I am not a crook." (Didn't actually happen :l)
But nevertheless, Kincaid still insists it was Keith, citing running in the hallways and sneaking into the basement as proof. Yeah, like that'll hold up.
Quote:
Ms. April
Mr. Kincaid.
Isn't this what you always preach?
It's wrong to cast suspicion on others
without proof?
Hell yeah! You tell'em, Ms. April! Scream to him what I am screaming to the game! Male Student, Female Student, and Female Student offer to help look for Keith with Ms. April. And I have to look too.
Quote:
Female Student: (question mark over her head)
There was no one behind the plants there.
I don't get why she's so confused over that. It's not like it's a perfect, expect place to hide.
Quote:
Male Student:
Keith's missing?
Didn't you mean to say Isaac?
TWO lost kids? This is gonna look bad on the district's record.
That freaking Bidoof is STILL running around the halls? I mean, living in harmony with Pokemon is one thing, but this is just unsanitary.
Quote:
Female Student
If it's not you, then it's your friend Keith.
He was shouting in the hallway earlier.
I thought it might've been Isaac at first with Keith trying to stop him, but I find Isaac in the Library.
Quote:
Isaac:
Keith?
He's never come her during class.
He's always here during lunch break.
With his pillow.
Sure.
And apparantly, the principal is missing too. And Janice the caretaker.
Rhythmi calls me as I go up to the second floor with a "Voicemail! Voicemail!" She tells me to hurry down.
Janice is there, telling me how she fed the Bidoof and found a Styler there. I follow this lead and find one of those lame school stylers there.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Isn't this one of the Stylers that went
missing from the Staff Room?
I don't think so. These seem like cheap ones. Else they wouldn't seem so important.
Apparantly, I could wreck the Pledge Statue if I had Tackle Level 5!
I find another Styler and follow a trail of them (okay, just another one), when Rhythmi hears voices. I go and see Keith, talking to some guy.
Quote:
Keith:
The guy's a stinking thief!
I knew it. He tries to get away, then runs into a tree, and then a Slakoth falls on him.
Quote:
Sneaky Guy:
And, bweh!
I have to help him by capturing the thing. It didn't even put up a fight.
6. Slakoth
The guy always wanted to be a Ranger, apparantly, so he stole a bunch of Stylers. Why he didn't just take one and get away undetected, we may never know. But even Adults can join Ranger school!
Quote:
Sneaky Guy:
I was only hoping to get one, but I ended up
scooping up the whole lot of them...
Idiot.
Apparantly, Vlad's skills as a capturer are amazing, as Ms. April can tell by the "smile on the Slakoth's face". Even though it ran off before she got there, I believe!
Quote:
Lanmont
Like the thieft today, perhaps there are
shadows always lurking in all of our hearts.
If this is going where I think it is...
Quote:
Lanmont:
In the Almia region, there is an ancient
world: "vatonage."
It means "to reawaken light that has been
submerged in darkness."
What the hell? From what little I know about Japanese, L and R are condensed in the same letter there, as are D, L, and R, and B and V too I think. Is this an example of Engrish? Is it supposed to be Batonage? I think it is.
Yet another letter from "Little Sis" after that. Does she not have a name? She's going to Chicole Village, wherever that is. Well, it probably won't be there for long!
Part 10 : Internaround
So now I get to experience what it is to be a real Ranger, even though I already have in the first game! I guess Vlad does, though. And I still don't know what a Mechanic is.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Vlad and Keith, you two are off to
the Ranger Base in Vientown
Okay...
Rhythmi shows me a newspaper called the "Almia Times". It doesn't look like they translated the barely legible text making up the articles, though. And there's an issue in the union!
Keith joins me for the trip there.
Quote:
Ms. April:
The Rangers of Vientown are all somewhat
quirky in their own ways.
Oh, hell. Not more weird characters. Is there one NORMAL person on this island?
There's some company called Altru Inc. that're in oil, construction, and searching for new energy resources. Isaac's going there.
I don't even get out of the grounds before I find some guy called "Little Tim" being attacked by Bidoofs.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, it's Little Tim.
Playing hide-and-seek with some Bidoof?
This seems like a loserish comment, but Keith had a question mark over it as he did so...which is worse.
Quote:
Little Tim:
Listen to them! "Beedehoo, Beedehoo!"
They're going to maul me, I can tell!
It looked like they were dancing.
Quote:
Keith:
No, Little Tim, I think the Bidoof just want
to play.
Even Keith agrees!
Quote:
Little Tim:
Sure, boy, that's easy for you to say.
Who you callin' boy, boy?
Quote:
Little Tim:
But I won't deny it. I'm scared, even
deathly a-scared of Pokemon!
Umm...if he's "deathly a-scared" of Pokemon, why did he choose to live in a region WHERE THEY ARE FREAKING EVERYWHERE!?
Quote:
Keith:
That guy's Little Tim.
He's the milkman around here.
I
s his "milkman" called Little Tim too?
I had to save him at that point. The Bidoof actually attacked here, and I took damage for the first time. Of course, it was nothing major.
Apparantly, our hero, Vlad, is from Fiore! That's...interesting. Makes me wonder why he just didn't become a Ranger there, though.
Quote:
Little Tim:
I run a small dairy farm with my family
in a town called Vientown
Cool, I guess.
Just as I try to leave, I get stopped AGAIN by Ms. April, who congratulates us for working together like real Rangers. Then she doesn't let us go back in. *****.
Quote:
Little Girl:
I came to see him, but...
This sweating girl on a bridge fails to mention the most important part of her statement: who she came to see. She later mentions she came to see her big brother when asked. Do you think?
Quote:
Ponte:
Hi, what's going on?
Nope.
Quote:
Isaac:
Melody?
Snake?
Apparantly, hugging is animated in this game by whoever's giving it appearing partially inside whoever is getting it. With the arms still resting on their side. Couldn't they have added a few frames of animation?
7. Buneary
I got this on the way there. I automatically walked there when I arrived in town, with no way to do anything else. When I arrive, it's empty! Except for some chick with purple hair.
Quote:
Operator:
Everyone had to go out to handle a critical
Mission.
Way to hate on the new guys, guys.
Quote:
Operator:
Some Bidoof...
Oh, no, I can't force myself to say it!
What, is it stuck in a tree or something? By god, if this is how they run things around here...instead, I get thrown into a mission right away. To deliver an extremely important parcel to Breeze Hill!
Quote:
Operator:
Please don't tip it on its side.
And never, ever flip it upside down.
k
Part 11-Delivery Boys
Quote:
"This is Vientown.
For relaxation, this is your town.
I'd imagine that Rangers should be in a town of action, not one of sloth.
Quote:
Mimi:
Mimi wants to be a Happiny when Mimi grows
up.
1. That joke was already made with Pikachus and Blitzballs.
2. You can't grow up into something smaller.
3. Third-person is retarded. Unless you're The Rock.
4. What the hell!?
Quote:
Happiny:
Pina Pina.
Quote:
Mimi's Mom:
Our Mimi plays with the Happiny so much.
I swear she's looking more and more like
a Happiny.
Well, step one for her would be to lose the green coat for a pink one.
Quote:
<: Nabiki Beach
"Those who meet there become good
partners."
...I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. And this is what I meant about the meanings being lost.
Quote:
Webster:
Hi, Ranger in training.
His lines aren't important. What is important is how I found out his name without learning it.
Quote:
Bill:
Mik poodin, I wike wike.
Enough. ****ing. Said.
Quote:
Andy:
I got to name our farm.
I named it the Little Big Farm
Uh-oh. Nintendo better hope Sony doesn't file for lawsuit, here.
Quote:
Drew:
Um.
Nothing.
It must be something. And Drew can be a girl's name? This is why mixed gender names suck.
Quote:
Cindy:
My mother's milk pudding is tasty.
So where is she? I want some! She isn't in the farmhouse at all.
Chicole Village is just to the south of this place.
Quote:
v: Chicole Village
"The village next door to Vientown.
A good place without a history yet."
A podunk, unimportant town? Where the main character's parents live? Yep, it's gonna be destroyed!
So I go to...whatever the **** it's called beach. God, I hate Japanese names so much.
I find a couple there, who met at said beach, aptly named "Beach Boy" and "Beach
Girl". Sure, Webster gets a name, but these two don't!? Then I see a guy called Mr. Woodward.
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Pachirisu, Pachirisu.
So cute, so cute.
Still hate Japanese names.
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
What's wrong? What's wrong, Munchlax?
Is there an echo in here?
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Starly, Starly.
Go on, eat up all you like.
...
Well, apparantly, everyone meets their partner Pokemon at Nabiki Beach.
Quote:
Starly:
Coodoodustarlee.
what is this i don't even...
Quote:
^: Breeze Hill
"May lovers beware of falling rocks!"
Many a time when I make out with my girlfriend a rock interupts us.
Just before I get to the hill, I find...a save point! GASP! Could a boss fight be coming up!? I find the other Rangers, who look more like they're having a picnic than doing a critical mission.
Quote:
Keith:
He-hellomeetcha!
Rhythmi was right. He's real smooth.
Quote:
Barlow:
Did I just hear toy say "Hellomeetcha"?
Barlow is a big hispanic guy.
Quote:
Barlow:
Hand [over the package], but be gentle.
One careless shake and it's ka-plow.
What is it, a glass jar or something?
Quote:
Barlow:
All right people!
Gather 'round!
Lunch's here!
...what!? They WERE having a picnic!?
Quote:
Barlow:
This prank isn't my doing.
Crawford there thought it up.
Yeah, screw you. I should've totally peed in the lemonade.
Luana is another Ranger. Elaine is a Mechanic, who still doesn't tell me what she does. Also, apparantly, this prank is a "tradition". More hazing! What the ****, is this just one big metaphor for frats? At least the victims get to eat the food...
Quote:
Barlow:
Vientown's a laid-back country town.
Not much happens in the way of thrilling or
exciting there.
It's not like some movie or game.
Whoever translated this seems to like meta-humor and just barely breaking the fourth wall.
To trigger the next event, I had to walk away from the food. That's when Beach Boy showed up and begged for help. Because
Quote:
Beach Boy:
Po-Pokemon have gone wild!
Okay. Pokemon going wild on the beach? That's just...the wrong kind of wording to use. Might get confused with something else! And now I have to save the guy's girlfriend, because he's not a real man (hence, "Beach Boy")
CANNOT.
TYPE.
ANYMORE.
Continue tommorow. Nuff said.
Lets play this thing.
Part 1 : Good Morning Everyone
Spoiler:
Awesome intro. "Together we shall rule the world!"
Dude , What the hell at this kid. When he is Ms. April (the teacher), it looked like he was running at walking speed. Did the animators mess up? Get lazy? Or what?
Quote:
Female Student:
Is the new student cute? Cool? Or look like a celebrity?
...there would be something very wrong with that if I was playing as a girl.
Six letter name only? What is this, communism? How do they expect people to name themselves William, Elizabeth, or Richard with that!? And no, Will, Liz, and especially Dick are NOT the same thing! I mean really, Dick? How do you get Dick from Richard?
Since they're being communists and all, I decided to name myself Vlad. I'd use Vladimir, but they're communists, and make me use a name that makes my guy sound like Dracula's cousin.
A guy called Keith with a big grin? Uh-oh. Already I have a bad feeling about this school...please don't make me sit next to him please don't make me sit next to him...
Quote:
Ms. April:
You can have the seat next to Keith.
DAMN IT!
Quote:
Ms. April:
From now on, you're all my students,
people whom I can take pride in teaching.
Deadly sins too? Makes me question who's really casting the Shadows on Almia.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Let's not fail your dreams of becoming
Rangers, Operators, and Mechanics!
Operators and Mechanics? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Those people need to GTFO.
Quote:
YEAAH!
If only this line were proceeded by a witty pun. Incidently, Vlad lit up when this line showed up (characters light up when they speak). And here I thought he was a silent protagonist!
Quote:
Ms. April:
But before I go, Vlad, I need to
explain something to you.
Oh hell, am I gonna be hit a lecture on morality?
Quote:
Ms. April:
It's a simplified version of a Ranger's
official Capture Styler
Oh, well okay. Wait, not okay! I don't need no stinkin' simplification!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Oh, please Keith.
Don't yawn with your mouth wide open like that.
Is this guy trying to seduce me? Great, and it just made me yawn too.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Rhythmi, can I get you to show Vlad
around the School, please?
What kind of a sick person names their daughter Rhythmi? Her parents sound like total hippies...then again, knowing RPGs, they're probably dead or members of the evil organization.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, new kid,I forgot your name, but how
long did it take you to capture Pikachu?
...well, at least he has an excuse for forgetting my name, mentioned just five seconds ago. Which incidently happens to be the time it took to capture the rat.
Quote:
Keith:
Like an hour?
XFD, KEITH SUCKS CRAP
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Keith's just a show-off.
Seems like he's showing off just how much he sucks, but hey, some people do that for a living!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Instead, you should be paying attention
to me.
Oh hells yeah. Vladdy's gonna get some action tonight, baby!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
I'm not here to become a Ranger.
I want to become an Operator instead.
Wait, what? She's one of those Operhaters? Didn't she see the application form? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Dumb blonde.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
So, when Keith becomes a Ranger, I can
order him around like my servant!
This, folks, is why I hope female impowerment never happens. His word against hers is already bad enough as it is.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Just joking!
Doesn't seem like you were.
So from what I can gather so far, Operators tell Rangers what to do, and becoming one is as simple as saying "hey I want to be an Operator" when you enter Ranger School. No previous experience with Rangering is required; even the most incompetent moron who knows absolutely nothing about Rangers can become one. I'd think that ones with a little more field experience would know how to encourage people to better perform as a Ranger, priorities in dispatching, and who goes where, but hey. Japan's the experts on this crap
Part 2 : Show me your moves!
Spoiler:
So far, we have a teacher named Ms. April, a teacher who goes by Mr. Kincaid and is an strict guy, a lazy egotistical kid who sucks at being a Ranger called Keith, and some blonde chick called Rhythmi. Great.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That thing floating there is a Save
Machine.
I'd complain about that not being the way gyrotechnics work, but they've already trashed the Laws of Physics enough.
Now I get to explore the school building or something. Watch me run straight into an event.
Quote:
Keith:
You know, if a Top Ranger were to see me
do a capture, they'd be in awe.
Shock AND awe!
Quote:
Female Student:
Our School's quite liberal and relaxed.
Sadly, if they were to see Obama, they'd probably think he was an alien or something. All because the Pokemon World has never seen a black person before.
Yup. Just ran into an event. Went straight into Mr. Kincaid's class. He loves hair spray.
Quote:
Female Student:
My name is "Female Student."
This game's dialogue is so messed up.
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
There's one rule that I would like you to
honor and uphold while you're in School.
Don't run in the hallways.
It never occured to me until just now: Is it even possible to walk in this game?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
Oh, there is another rule: don't cast
suspicion on others without proof.
Good, now any tattletales won't be able to catch me. Everyone knows they don't have cameras.
I then ran into the staff room and found a guy called Mr. Lamont, the principal.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
His eyes are always twinkling happily behind
his glasses.
...so wrong...
Quote:
Principal Lamont:
I'm Lamont Splendidocious, the principal.
That's it.
Part 3 : This School Is Insane
Spoiler:
Other notable faculty members:
Isaac - An "awesomely smart" guy who hangs out in the Library who wants to be a scientist. Also likes the Metric system.
Ponte - Some guy in the Library with low self-esteem, aka "conflicted marshmallow boy".
Janice - The caretaker.
Ms. Claire - Teaches "clearing targets" in the training room, whatever that means. Something involving wooden crates.
Mr. Kaplan - Teaches about capturing, and always talks in a tone as though he wants to take over the world.
Okay, so now I can go outside, but there's no one out there! These students are either vampires or complete...stickworms?
Quote:
Mr. Kaplan
Welcome to the inscrutable Team School's
secret hideout.
Mr. Kaplan is automatically my favorite character in this game.
Quote:
Mr. Kaplan
If the Styler runs out of energy, there's
nothing you can do about it.
Isn't this something they could've worked out in beta?
Quote:
yaddayaddyadda
So field Clears are just a fancy name for using special moves to remove obstacles. Seeing as how I can't do anything like, climb over them or move the lighter obstacles away myself, I have to use Pokemon to do it. Because destruction of nature/and or private property is fun! And yet, when I find a locked door, I can't just break the walls down and smash in. Hypocrits.
Quote:
Ms. Claire:
Touch the Bidoof.
Liiiiick the Bidoof. LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof.
Then Rhythmi says she has another place she wants me to see. Sounds foxy.
Part 4 : Another Place To See
Spoiler:
So I go outside, and Janice is freaking out over a Bidoof.
Quote:
Janice:
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
Oh god, what the hell? There's like 10 of them.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
J-Janice?
She's having trouble with the Bidoof!
Rhythmi suddenly develops a stutter, and reveals that this faculty doesn't have competent staff. Yeah, sounds about right.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Please, Vlad! Capture the Bidoof and
get them to settle down!
Argh, for the love of... You see? THIS is why there should not be anything but Pokemon Rangers AND ONLY POKEMON RANGERS at Pokemon Ranger school, least of all in positions of power. When Operators and Caretakers and the like are helpless and the students have to help, you know trouble's-a-brewing.
Quote:
Keith:
Heh, I was wondering what the ruckus was
all about.
Oh hell yeah, meatshields!
Quote:
Keith:
We'll have a capture race, you and me!
Piece of cake!
Quote:
Keith:
I caught five!
Hacker.
Quote:
Keith:
I rate your captures 65 out of 100!
Dude, I got two S ranks and a B. That demands respect!
And it does? Sweet, man! Keith joins the party, and Rhythmi lets me come with them to Ascension Square or whatever, which is where she was going to take me. Okay, so first she was taking me there, and now she's letting me come? What is this?
Spoiler:
Part 5 : Ascension Square
I see a Pichu and a Budew just chilling in the school yard. Also, the Pichu watches me, and, like most Pokemon seem to be doing, freak when I get close. Sadly, I can't force my teammates into fights.
I go ahead and catch these guys while I'm here
- Pichu
- Budew
- Taillow
Somehow, I'm able to cut up Wood Fences with Taillow's gust. I mean, I know high winds can do that, but I never knew they could cut them "into tiny fragments." Strangely, I can't seem to do...uhh...overkill captures or whatever. You know, when you circle more times than you have to for more experience.
Cutscenes have a brief fadeout it seems, and make your Pokemon temporarily vanish.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Next month, there's going to be a special
class here. It's the Outdoor Class.
What's so special about the outdoors? Well, besides everything else, but I'm one to think that capturing Pokemon in their natural environment (like, not indoors) should be part of basic training.
There's also some donut called the Pledge Stone and if you make a pledge with your friends,
Quote:
Rhythmi:
"...it will surely come true.
That's what Principal Lamont told me."
...okay. Jus the self-delusions of a gay guy.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That concluds Rhythmi's School Tour
of Wonder and Excitement!
Well, I did wonder what is wrong with people in the school, and was excited by the prospect of finally capturing.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Vlad! I'm glad to have met you!
I hope we can be friends for a long time!
Oh god, if this is going where I think it's going...
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, hold it now!
Thank you.
Quote:
Keith:
Don't worry about Rhythmi.
Be friends with me, okay?
Can't I be both? Not like she has cooties or anything. I think. Rhythmi calls him a "slick one".
Part 6 : Freakin' Hazing
Spoiler:
So it's nighttime and I'm in my dorm. By which I mean the boy's dorms. Also, Keith is writing to his parents about me. So many homosexual implications here. Also, apparantly, my guy has a little sister, which he somehow communicates by having some lines appearing his head.
Quote:
Male Student:
The smartest person in the whole school
is Issac.
The student who's been here the longest...
That's me.
So the smartest student gets a name, yet the most experienced student doesn't? What is this ****? Why is Japan always hating on experience?
Quote:
Ponte:
Our boy genius Isaac is never around at
this time of night.
I wonder where he's out studying.
Hasn't Mr. boy genius ever heard of "early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise?"
Quote:
Keith:
Hey Vlad, you're not sleepy yet,
are you?
Come over here.
Nonononononono...
Oh wait, we're just sneaking out?
Quote:
Keith:
All right, I brought him.
He brought me to see Rhythmi, another girl, and some guy. Cool, one for him, two for me!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Everything's ready.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Okay, let's get started with our test of
Yes, yes, go on!
Quote:
courage to welcome Vlad
...aw, no,Just a shy person recption.
Quote:
Keep it down, but yay!
wat
Quote:
Keith:
We just want you to prove you're brave.
So you want me to sneak into the girl's dorm and steal some panties? Prank the principal, maybe?
Quote:
Keith:
I had to do it before, too.
It's no big deal.
Uhh...so basically, this is a hazing? Great.
Quote:
Keith:
But, you know, you do have that easily
spooked look to you. No offense.
Nobody...
...calls me...
...easily spooked...
Then my battery started to die so I decided to stop till later this afternoon or something.
Okay. I drank three cans of moutain dew. My DS is all charged up. Let's do it!
Part 7-Frat-Tastic
Spoiler:
So I am just ready to be initiated into a frat that I had no business or interest in joining, and to do so, I need to take a test of courage or some crap.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
The rules are simple.
The four of us have hidden our Stylers in
four different places in the school.
Apparantly, scavenger hunts are things to be feared at this school.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
They are: Ms. April's Class, Mr. Kincaid's
class, the Staff Room, and the Library.
The only four rooms on the first floor!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Gather all four Stylers, then put them in
front of the door to the basement room.
The way they're putting this, it sounds like some kind of satanic ritual or something.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
It's not hard or anything, but it's also not
safe to go around.
I've got a capture Styler of my own and experience in the Metal Gear Solid ganes. Bring it on!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
That's why we've always had this one rule:
the student seated next to the initate
has to go, too.
Err...so then who went with the people who started the frat?
Quote:
Keith:
WAAAAAAAAH!
Little loser. All there was was a creaking. And atmospheric music that sounds like it's from Earthbound.
Quote:
Keith:
Wah! Th-there's something there!
Keith is sweating rather profusely. All over a Bidoof who somehow got into the school. So I go to the Library and find...boxes. Which leads me to wonder just who put them there if you supposedly can't move them without a Smash ability.
Quote:
Keith:
The Library's scary at night, too.
He thinks randomly placed boxes and a Pichu just standing around is frightening. I wonder what he'd think about something that would actually should be scared of.
Hey, there's lighting effects here. I went to capture the Bidoof, and it properly appeared darker than normal. Nope, no "darker background but the sprites are the same" here, boys and girls!
As I enter the staff room, the camera zooms in on a Pichu for some reason.
Quote:
Keith:
This is the Staff Room...
And the hint for this room is...
The Styler we hid here doesn't stay still.
You understand, don't you?
Yeah, I understand (it's on the Pichu), but what I don't understand is how they got it on the thing. It's not like they could've just said "here, hold this plz" or anything. They didn't...AWW, NOW THAT IS NASTY!
Takes a short bit to chase it down (it runs faster than me!), but when I do, it goes down without a fuss. Then it vanishes into thin air and leave behind a Styler. Before reappearing and spazzing out momentarily.
Quote:
Keith:
This is the classroom next to ours...
Why are there freaking Zubats in here? Doesn't Almia have any pest control? No hint for this room, I just get told to hurry up and find it.
I capture Zubat while I'm here, who try to go after me. Then they get captured. The styler is hidden in the top-left of the room.
4. Zubat
Wait, I just thought of something. How did these people get back safely if they left their stylers all over the place? I'd imagine running into a Pokemon with no means of defense but your bare hands, maybe your shoe, isn't a particularly good idea.
Quote:
Keith:
Even our own classroom's kind of creep
at night...
Who put all those boxes there?
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, I'll give you a hint, even.
What wasn't here during the daytime.
Duh. Now to play the shell game.
Okay, so I just broke a box, and found a freaking Pichu in one. Judging by the script, I get that this frat put these boxes in the school, and summarily put it in there. I wonder what the teacher would have to say about this. I had to make a few trips because of it. It is, of course, in the crate you need to break another crate to get to (unless you smartly go around, which I didn't think to do at first). Breaking the other two out of curiosity, I find a Budew and...another Bidoof.
When you use a field move, the Pokemon go back to their original brightness as they run off. Hmm...
Finally back to the Library, as I have enough Bidoofs to get through.
I see the Styler as I break the first crate, but I can't do anything like say...reach across the table it's on, and so have to victimize another helpless inanimate object to get by.
Quote:
Keith:
Good, good. That's all of them, then.
Let's take them down to the basement.
Whoawhoawhoa, I thought we were just going to leave them at the top of the stairs. Just this morning they seemed so eager not to go down there, which is against the rules, by the way. Then again, rules were made to be broken.
The basement has this weird blue glow to it.
Quote:
Keith:
I never heard about a target like this.
I wonder who put it here?
Ghosts! And yep, I just heard Gastly's cry. A Wood Fence is in the way. Incidently, as I mentioned earlier, there was one outside. Guess Keith never really looked hard enough, huh? The game helpfully provides me with a Zubat right there to destroy it, which is just poor design.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, Vlad...
Have you been hearing anything?
Like weird noises?
No Keith. That's just the indians rising from the graveyard this school was built on.
Quote:
Keith:
Plunk down the Stylers here, then we go
back to the dorms, and we're done.
It's not over yet!
Quote:
Keith:
But hustle, will you?
I can't take much more of this...
SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT!
And here comes Gastly, baby!
Quote:
Keith:
BWAAAAAH!
Oh shi-! Wasn't expecting FOUR of them! Oh well, who's first?
I fight them all at the same time. Sadly, I have to settle for just two captured at a time rather than all four at once.
5. Gastly
Then Mr. Uptight Kincaid comes out of his lab, literally steamed. The basement is his and his alone! Everyone else must stay out! I wonder if he's conducting experiments to turn himself into a plant.
Then I somehow get a scene of Isaac being there, doing an experiment of some kind with "control systems" or something. Oh sure, he's allowed in. Apparantly, we were just a Zubat "causing a minor disturbance in the hallway." Uh-oh, is that a potential villain I smell?
Just to clear something up. I owned ranger 1. So I kinda have a taste of this game already.
Part 8-Outdoor Action
Spoiler:
After that scene, I get a letter from "Little Sis" who thanks me for writing, and says my mom and dad are moving up now. Uh-oh. Sounds like a village is about to be destroyed!
Back in class, I get asked what day it is for some reason. It's Monday today in the real world (**** yeah RAW). Except...it's Outdoor Class. I thought that was in a month according to the in-game dialogue. Time sure flies! I'm gonna get to meet a real Ranger and Keith has 38 questions!
I explore around a little first, and fight a freaking Bidoof. At this time of day? There are also Pichus and a road block in front of the basement. I can't enter the Girl's Bedroom either...:(
I also find a Bonsly around which I can't get. Even though I can see it start pretending to be a tree!
A ranger with a giant fro? What is this, /b/? His name is Crawford, apparantly.
Quote:
Crawford:
This here's my Partner Pokemon, Budew
Budew? LOL
Quote:
Crawford:
And these are my Friend Pokemon!
Cherubi, Bellosom, Combee, Swellow? Why not have one of those as a parnter instead of...frickin' Budew? Everyone says "Wow, so cool!"
Outdoor Class consists of asking a Pokemon Ranger a bunch of questions while standing in a circle around him. The students ask questions like "why did you become a Ranger" and "what kinds of Pokemon are difficult to capture", and "can I become an Operator?" And apparantly, Stylers have a weakness to juice.
Then some Barlow guy gives voicemail about a Mantine hunt. And some Luana chick is heading to pick him up. I don't know how Rangers with Styluses are going to stop some angry sailors, but who cares? All the guys including Vlad think it's cool. And the girls beg him to save it. He runs off, everyone goes back to class, and Vlad, Keith, and Rhythmi make a pledge to make their dreams come true.
Then another letter shows up from "Little Sis", saying thanks for writing again and they're looking for a house now.
Part 9- Grand Theft Styler
Spoiler:
Another time skip occurs, and apparantly the Mantine was saved and set back to the sea. And the lesson today is Rangers and Operator teamwork. It's a disasterous (sic) if it there is none. Yeah, I think it actually said that. Also, Keith isn't here.
Quote:
Ms. April:
It's the job of the Operators to light the
way for Rangers where no roads exist.
...
Quote:
Ms. April:
Operators support Rangers in other ways,
like recharging their Stylers.
Cool, just like a recharging machine! Or an electric type! They do it with a highly technological system called voicemail!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Let's start with Rhythmi as the Operator
and Keith doing the Ranger part.
BUT KEITH ISN'T HERE!
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Ms. April, Keith isn't here yet.
So where is he? You seem to know quite a lot about this...
Quote:
Ms. April:
That's rare for Keith.
Did he sleep in, I wonder?
He's dead in a ditch for going in the basement. Duh. Oh well, more for me! I get a special styler with voicemail turned on. My guy moves at walking speed in his runny animation again and gets interrupted by Mr. Kincaid, who scolds him for running.
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
There is a small matter about which I would
like to speak with Keith.
Oh shi-I WAS JUST KIDDING!
Quote:
Ms. April:
Keith is running late today.
It's not like him, but...
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
Late, you say...
You see, we have a problem on our hands.
Hm?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
We had a number of Stylers stored in the
Staff Room. Had, I say.
Now the entire lot of them has
disappeared.
I've already confirmed the innocence of all
my students regarding this.
So he thinks Keith did it? Whatever happened to "don't cast suspicion on others without proof"?
Quote:
Mr. Kincaid:
But that Keith boy is uncharacteristically
absent from class, you say...
Perhaps it's taking him time to find a place
to "stash" all those stolen Stylers?
Oh, now he's outright breaking his own rules. Fascist.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Mr. Kincaid!
Keith is a prankster, but he's no thief!
Keith: "I am not a crook." (Didn't actually happen :l)
But nevertheless, Kincaid still insists it was Keith, citing running in the hallways and sneaking into the basement as proof. Yeah, like that'll hold up.
Quote:
Ms. April
Mr. Kincaid.
Isn't this what you always preach?
It's wrong to cast suspicion on others
without proof?
Hell yeah! You tell'em, Ms. April! Scream to him what I am screaming to the game! Male Student, Female Student, and Female Student offer to help look for Keith with Ms. April. And I have to look too.
Quote:
Female Student: (question mark over her head)
There was no one behind the plants there.
I don't get why she's so confused over that. It's not like it's a perfect, expect place to hide.
Quote:
Male Student:
Keith's missing?
Didn't you mean to say Isaac?
TWO lost kids? This is gonna look bad on the district's record.
That freaking Bidoof is STILL running around the halls? I mean, living in harmony with Pokemon is one thing, but this is just unsanitary.
Quote:
Female Student
If it's not you, then it's your friend Keith.
He was shouting in the hallway earlier.
I thought it might've been Isaac at first with Keith trying to stop him, but I find Isaac in the Library.
Quote:
Isaac:
Keith?
He's never come her during class.
He's always here during lunch break.
With his pillow.
Sure.
And apparantly, the principal is missing too. And Janice the caretaker.
Rhythmi calls me as I go up to the second floor with a "Voicemail! Voicemail!" She tells me to hurry down.
Janice is there, telling me how she fed the Bidoof and found a Styler there. I follow this lead and find one of those lame school stylers there.
Quote:
Rhythmi:
Isn't this one of the Stylers that went
missing from the Staff Room?
I don't think so. These seem like cheap ones. Else they wouldn't seem so important.
Apparantly, I could wreck the Pledge Statue if I had Tackle Level 5!
I find another Styler and follow a trail of them (okay, just another one), when Rhythmi hears voices. I go and see Keith, talking to some guy.
Quote:
Keith:
The guy's a stinking thief!
I knew it. He tries to get away, then runs into a tree, and then a Slakoth falls on him.
Quote:
Sneaky Guy:
And, bweh!
I have to help him by capturing the thing. It didn't even put up a fight.
6. Slakoth
The guy always wanted to be a Ranger, apparantly, so he stole a bunch of Stylers. Why he didn't just take one and get away undetected, we may never know. But even Adults can join Ranger school!
Quote:
Sneaky Guy:
I was only hoping to get one, but I ended up
scooping up the whole lot of them...
Idiot.
Apparantly, Vlad's skills as a capturer are amazing, as Ms. April can tell by the "smile on the Slakoth's face". Even though it ran off before she got there, I believe!
Quote:
Lanmont
Like the thieft today, perhaps there are
shadows always lurking in all of our hearts.
If this is going where I think it is...
Quote:
Lanmont:
In the Almia region, there is an ancient
world: "vatonage."
It means "to reawaken light that has been
submerged in darkness."
What the hell? From what little I know about Japanese, L and R are condensed in the same letter there, as are D, L, and R, and B and V too I think. Is this an example of Engrish? Is it supposed to be Batonage? I think it is.
Yet another letter from "Little Sis" after that. Does she not have a name? She's going to Chicole Village, wherever that is. Well, it probably won't be there for long!
Part 10 : Internaround
Spoiler:
So now I get to experience what it is to be a real Ranger, even though I already have in the first game! I guess Vlad does, though. And I still don't know what a Mechanic is.
Quote:
Ms. April:
Vlad and Keith, you two are off to
the Ranger Base in Vientown
Okay...
Rhythmi shows me a newspaper called the "Almia Times". It doesn't look like they translated the barely legible text making up the articles, though. And there's an issue in the union!
Keith joins me for the trip there.
Quote:
Ms. April:
The Rangers of Vientown are all somewhat
quirky in their own ways.
Oh, hell. Not more weird characters. Is there one NORMAL person on this island?
There's some company called Altru Inc. that're in oil, construction, and searching for new energy resources. Isaac's going there.
I don't even get out of the grounds before I find some guy called "Little Tim" being attacked by Bidoofs.
Quote:
Keith:
Hey, it's Little Tim.
Playing hide-and-seek with some Bidoof?
This seems like a loserish comment, but Keith had a question mark over it as he did so...which is worse.
Quote:
Little Tim:
Listen to them! "Beedehoo, Beedehoo!"
They're going to maul me, I can tell!
It looked like they were dancing.
Quote:
Keith:
No, Little Tim, I think the Bidoof just want
to play.
Even Keith agrees!
Quote:
Little Tim:
Sure, boy, that's easy for you to say.
Who you callin' boy, boy?
Quote:
Little Tim:
But I won't deny it. I'm scared, even
deathly a-scared of Pokemon!
Umm...if he's "deathly a-scared" of Pokemon, why did he choose to live in a region WHERE THEY ARE FREAKING EVERYWHERE!?
Quote:
Keith:
That guy's Little Tim.
He's the milkman around here.
I
s his "milkman" called Little Tim too?
I had to save him at that point. The Bidoof actually attacked here, and I took damage for the first time. Of course, it was nothing major.
Apparantly, our hero, Vlad, is from Fiore! That's...interesting. Makes me wonder why he just didn't become a Ranger there, though.
Quote:
Little Tim:
I run a small dairy farm with my family
in a town called Vientown
Cool, I guess.
Just as I try to leave, I get stopped AGAIN by Ms. April, who congratulates us for working together like real Rangers. Then she doesn't let us go back in. *****.
Quote:
Little Girl:
I came to see him, but...
This sweating girl on a bridge fails to mention the most important part of her statement: who she came to see. She later mentions she came to see her big brother when asked. Do you think?
Quote:
Ponte:
Hi, what's going on?
Nope.
Quote:
Isaac:
Melody?
Snake?
Apparantly, hugging is animated in this game by whoever's giving it appearing partially inside whoever is getting it. With the arms still resting on their side. Couldn't they have added a few frames of animation?
7. Buneary
I got this on the way there. I automatically walked there when I arrived in town, with no way to do anything else. When I arrive, it's empty! Except for some chick with purple hair.
Quote:
Operator:
Everyone had to go out to handle a critical
Mission.
Way to hate on the new guys, guys.
Quote:
Operator:
Some Bidoof...
Oh, no, I can't force myself to say it!
What, is it stuck in a tree or something? By god, if this is how they run things around here...instead, I get thrown into a mission right away. To deliver an extremely important parcel to Breeze Hill!
Quote:
Operator:
Please don't tip it on its side.
And never, ever flip it upside down.
k
Part 11-Delivery Boys
Spoiler:
Quote:
"This is Vientown.
For relaxation, this is your town.
I'd imagine that Rangers should be in a town of action, not one of sloth.
Quote:
Mimi:
Mimi wants to be a Happiny when Mimi grows
up.
1. That joke was already made with Pikachus and Blitzballs.
2. You can't grow up into something smaller.
3. Third-person is retarded. Unless you're The Rock.
4. What the hell!?
Quote:
Happiny:
Pina Pina.
Quote:
Mimi's Mom:
Our Mimi plays with the Happiny so much.
I swear she's looking more and more like
a Happiny.
Well, step one for her would be to lose the green coat for a pink one.
Quote:
<: Nabiki Beach
"Those who meet there become good
partners."
...I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. And this is what I meant about the meanings being lost.
Quote:
Webster:
Hi, Ranger in training.
His lines aren't important. What is important is how I found out his name without learning it.
Quote:
Bill:
Mik poodin, I wike wike.
Enough. ****ing. Said.
Quote:
Andy:
I got to name our farm.
I named it the Little Big Farm
Uh-oh. Nintendo better hope Sony doesn't file for lawsuit, here.
Quote:
Drew:
Um.
Nothing.
It must be something. And Drew can be a girl's name? This is why mixed gender names suck.
Quote:
Cindy:
My mother's milk pudding is tasty.
So where is she? I want some! She isn't in the farmhouse at all.
Chicole Village is just to the south of this place.
Quote:
v: Chicole Village
"The village next door to Vientown.
A good place without a history yet."
A podunk, unimportant town? Where the main character's parents live? Yep, it's gonna be destroyed!
So I go to...whatever the **** it's called beach. God, I hate Japanese names so much.
I find a couple there, who met at said beach, aptly named "Beach Boy" and "Beach
Girl". Sure, Webster gets a name, but these two don't!? Then I see a guy called Mr. Woodward.
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Pachirisu, Pachirisu.
So cute, so cute.
Still hate Japanese names.
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
What's wrong? What's wrong, Munchlax?
Is there an echo in here?
Quote:
Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Starly, Starly.
Go on, eat up all you like.
...
Well, apparantly, everyone meets their partner Pokemon at Nabiki Beach.
Quote:
Starly:
Coodoodustarlee.
what is this i don't even...
Quote:
^: Breeze Hill
"May lovers beware of falling rocks!"
Many a time when I make out with my girlfriend a rock interupts us.
Just before I get to the hill, I find...a save point! GASP! Could a boss fight be coming up!? I find the other Rangers, who look more like they're having a picnic than doing a critical mission.
Quote:
Keith:
He-hellomeetcha!
Rhythmi was right. He's real smooth.
Quote:
Barlow:
Did I just hear toy say "Hellomeetcha"?
Barlow is a big hispanic guy.
Quote:
Barlow:
Hand [over the package], but be gentle.
One careless shake and it's ka-plow.
What is it, a glass jar or something?
Quote:
Barlow:
All right people!
Gather 'round!
Lunch's here!
...what!? They WERE having a picnic!?
Quote:
Barlow:
This prank isn't my doing.
Crawford there thought it up.
Yeah, screw you. I should've totally peed in the lemonade.
Luana is another Ranger. Elaine is a Mechanic, who still doesn't tell me what she does. Also, apparantly, this prank is a "tradition". More hazing! What the ****, is this just one big metaphor for frats? At least the victims get to eat the food...
Quote:
Barlow:
Vientown's a laid-back country town.
Not much happens in the way of thrilling or
exciting there.
It's not like some movie or game.
Whoever translated this seems to like meta-humor and just barely breaking the fourth wall.
To trigger the next event, I had to walk away from the food. That's when Beach Boy showed up and begged for help. Because
Quote:
Beach Boy:
Po-Pokemon have gone wild!
Okay. Pokemon going wild on the beach? That's just...the wrong kind of wording to use. Might get confused with something else! And now I have to save the guy's girlfriend, because he's not a real man (hence, "Beach Boy")
CANNOT.
TYPE.
ANYMORE.
Continue tommorow. Nuff said.
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