Age gaps in relationships

Started by ruby March 3rd, 2009 8:17 AM
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  • 49 replies
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Age gap:

ruby

Female
Seen April 16th, 2023
Posted May 13th, 2020
1,389 posts
19.2 Years
Age gaps seem to matter less and less as people get older.
For example I know many parents who have an older or younger partner, but many people who go to my school would find the age gap weird.

How many years younger or older could your partner be before it felt weird to you?

Limey-chan

Batzu

He/Him
Mt Moon
Seen May 27th, 2021
Posted October 31st, 2020
2,523 posts
14.2 Years
My last girlfriend was in the year below me at school, and my first was 2 years younger. I couldn't imagine being comfortable going out with anyone 3 or 4 years older/younger, would just feel weird. I know people who are going out that are like 6 or 7 years apart, tis very strange.

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Age 35
Female
A Wonderland of Ice
Seen January 13th, 2017
Posted November 15th, 2016
736 posts
15 Years
Personally, I would draw the line at 1-2 years in difference. Anything more than that, to me, would just seem rather weird. Which some would probably think strange, for someone who has parents that have a 10-year age gap. XD

Generally though, I think that the older the person, the less it matters about the gap. If you're in school, people seem to care more about the gap than say... when its between two people in a workplace.

Set by the wonderful Twinx
Age 32
Virginia, USA
Seen September 27th, 2010
Posted June 15th, 2010
224 posts
14.3 Years
I really don't care about age, only love. I had a dream the other night that someone set me up on this date with a twelve year old, which annoyed me, but she ended up being very cute and intelligent that I actually started to like her (but not love since I'm already too attached to somebody).

Really, I think the only thing that should matter when it comes to age in a relationship is how intimate you get. I'd never have sex before marriage in general, so that's not much of a problem for me.
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Signomi

Age 32
Female
Britland (United Kingdom)
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted October 10th, 2022
7,480 posts
17.8 Years
I've always had something against incredibly wide age gaps that could make a relationship seem so chancy, especially if one participant in the relationship happens to be at a very young age. I understand that love can be boundless, but in this day's society you would find many a foolhardy couple trying to make things work between them so eagerly. With age comes a measure of maturity, in the sense that at least one person in this sort of relationship would lack a necessary amount of mental stability. I'm afraid nowadays there are just too many people jumping into a relationship without putting much thought into what they are about to do and whether or not it's actually a good decision to go ahead with it. But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying such relationship is impossible to succeed, it has been known to happen; I just feel that it can be rather risky for the majority.

All this said, there have been times where I've felt uneasy about being with anyone that's at least four or five years older than me. I'd most probably draw the line somewhere a little less, but in my case I don't really concern myself much with age differences, especially at this point in time where I don't allow any raw emotions to get in the way of my logic.

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Eletj

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Male
Palmerston North
Seen July 31st, 2016
Posted March 12th, 2010
363 posts
15.5 Years
I think it really depends on the age. When you're a teenager, age matters much more than when you're older. I know my limits 1 year younger or 1-2 older, but thats just me. However, numerous people I know go out with people up to 5 years either way. It really depends on the person.

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Cherrim

Age 34
she / her
Toronto
Seen 19 Hours Ago
Posted 19 Hours Ago
33,052 posts
20.4 Years
So long as it's legal I've never really cared with others and tbh, it's one of my favourite kinds of fandom pairings ahaha but in a personal relationship? I think 2-3 years would probably be my cut-off. I could do otherwise easily but 4 years? The person would either completely finished school or still partway through high school and that's just a bit strange to me. Wouldn't make a difference years from now but I still like to consider I'm the age where gaps do matter.


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Age 26
In your mind
Seen February 8th, 2012
Posted July 10th, 2010
1,709 posts
14.9 Years
I really don't care about age, only love. I had a dream the other night that someone set me up on this date with a twelve year old, which annoyed me.
And what's wrong with dating a twelve year old xD jk

Ya, I mean thirteen-fourteen isn't too much for me but I couldn't imagine dating a five-ten year old...

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Female
Buttsville
Seen September 18th, 2016
Posted April 9th, 2013
255 posts
14.8 Years
The younger the people are, the smaller the age gap should be, in my opinion. That said, if the relationship was genuine, I wouldn't you know, protest because of the age of one of the people. This said, my parents have a very, very big age gap. We're talking about 30 years here, so yeah, people don't like that, or me when they find out. Tainteeeeeed. O:
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BHwolfgang

kamikorosu

Age 28
Male
Virginia
Seen February 24th, 2014
Posted May 9th, 2013
3,905 posts
14.2 Years
Like everyone said above me, I consider wide age-gaps to be quite awkward, considering that of the possibility of one's partner lacking a logic or maturity, as Signomi clearly stated.

However, I consider that going out with anybody above two-three years of above or below would be crossing the line, but that's just me.

This seems to effect mostly childrens and teenagers. I don't really care at what adults do or at what age they date as long as they contain a right mind.

Aegis

The Savage Nymph

Age 29
Male
Canada
Seen May 20th, 2015
Posted October 30th, 2012
4,558 posts
17.3 Years
For the most part, age doesn't matter to me. I'd probably be less inclined to be in a relationship with somebody younger then me, just because go too much younger and they'd still be a child, lol :[ But as far as older people, I'd be comfortable with anything up to like, 5 years older I guess. Anymore and it'd start to be weird, with them almost out of college and me still in high school XD;

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Age 34
Female
It's a private dimension. D:
Seen April 20th, 2010
Posted March 26th, 2010
6,123 posts
18.1 Years
I'd say two to three for me. My pair is only a year younger than me too. I've know some people who have a wide gap.

Like Sibby said, while love can be boundless, there still should be limits. I mean anyone more than five or more years apart, that's a bit much for me. I would at least go with someone three years younger, especially since I am over 18, going out someone who is probably under 16 is considered against the law for me...or something like that.

I forget how it works here in the US. I know that if you are over 18, it's considered being a pedo...or something. It's probably very different in other countries I'm sure but everyone does have different customs too.
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Melodies of Life

Male
Kentucky
Seen January 3rd, 2013
Posted January 3rd, 2013
1,620 posts
15.2 Years
Age used to bother me. I wouldn't date younger at all. I was 19 and a 17 year old wanted to date me, and I wouldn't do it. I was shallow. Now it doesn't bother me. As long as there is love, then it's ok. I won't go younger than 5 years younger because of the legal issue XDDD My boyfriend is 16 XD; As for going older, I would say 10 years, after that I dunno if I would have anything in common with them :3

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Aizuke

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Age 33
Male
Canberra, Australia
Seen November 6th, 2015
Posted November 6th, 2015
3,025 posts
15.3 Years
I wouldn't date someone who was 5 years younger than me.. That would feel weird to me, and I'd feel really old. XD;; And even though age shouldn't matter, too bad we have laws and being with someone who's underage wouldn't be very comfortable for me.

Though dating someone older is okay, except if they're 10 years older. I would prefer to date someone my own age, 1-2 year younger is okay, 3 years is pushing it a bit.. Being with someone older would make me feel childish, but protected I guess. XD; Though still, I'd feel more comfortable dating someone around my age, and my boyfriend is only 7 months younger than me so I'm fine with that. :3
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Age 30
Female
Canada
Seen July 24th, 2012
Posted August 24th, 2011
1,474 posts
14.9 Years
Uhm.. Well let's just say I have a thing with a guy who's... A few years older than me. Not too much of a fan of that, and I never saw myself dating a guy who is as old as the guy I like right now, so you never know.

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Xairmo

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Age 31
Male
California
Seen December 19th, 2016
Posted February 18th, 2015
2,642 posts
16 Years
I prefer being the younger person. I've dated someone who had a 7 year age difference with me :x

I really don't care about age, it's a number. Though when I'm 18 that'll change. I don't want to date anyone under the age of 18 once I'm 18. But for right now I don't mind if someone over 18 wants to date me. Though, I know this completely contradicts my first statement but whatever, I would never date someone over 10 years older then myself as long as I'm a minor. I've had a 45 year-old asking me out, and it is just creepy.

Melody

Banned

Female
Cuddling those close to me
Seen March 4th, 2018
Posted March 2nd, 2018
6,459 posts
18.6 Years
I'm perfectly comfortable with a 3-5 year age gap to be honest, but in real life I'd like never actually date a girl who wasn't legal (18+) Online however...I'd break things off if they wanted to come see me in person before they were legal, I'm adventurous but not crazy or stupid.

And I wouldn't mind an older girl either, especially if she's really mature. But I also dont mind being the older one. xD

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Canada
Seen January 11th, 2023
Posted November 9th, 2022
8,421 posts
19.7 Years
When I was 14, one grade/age difference seemed too much. Of course this didn't matter since I wasn't the type to get into a relationship anyway.

I joined the online community shortly after and gradually stopped thinking of age differences.

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