The Spirits of Mount Pyre

Started by Kiri September 11th, 2004 12:35 PM
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  • 21 replies

Kiri

Breeder & Berry Grower

Lilycove
Seen July 28th, 2008
Posted March 28th, 2005
435 posts
18.7 Years
My very first fanfic! Warning: PG 13 later in the story...

My life took a new turn, the day Blu died.
That fateful day began like any other. My pencil drifted down my homework page, unsure what to write, and my mind drifted outside to the Lilycove bay where swimmers battled in the shallows. A Starmie faced a Luvdisc, shooting jets of water at it. Id always wanted to be a pokmon trainer, but the little Trainer School well, I could still hear Ms. Johnsons familiar words in my head: Kiri, youre simply not trying enough. Think about it. If you cant remember simple status changes, youll never be a good trainer
I shook my head to clear it of those futile thoughts. There had to be more to it than just good marks. Id be a strong trainer one day, I always promised myself.
Watching the Wingull wheel overhead, I didnt hear the soft crackle of flames downstairs. Didnt notice the air laced with smoke that drifted past, didnt turn from my desk to see the flash of fire in the doorway. When I broke away from my daydream at last, it was too late. The flame had encircled my doorway. I screamed in terror. The only way out of my tiny bedroom was the little window overlooking the glittering blue sea. The flames tore across the rug, approaching me; I hoisted myself onto the windowsill, peered down, and a crowd of people stood looking at the house and shouting in alarm, but the shining sea rolled in and out again, unaware that anything was wrong. People- firemen, maybe- were pulling out a blanket, stretching it out beneath me. Frozen with shock and fear, I fell back in a dead faint.
I woke up in hospital later, and my mother was by the bedside. She had left the stove on, she said, and left for the shops. The firemen had caught me as I fell out of the window, but I was unhurt. The house was fine, too, and the fire was quickly extinguished; she kept saying: Its alright, were both fine. But she was sobbing all the time, because it wasnt just the two of us. There was Blu as well. Blu, the little Swablu who had been the family pokemon all my life, who had never made it out of the burning house. He had helped Mom with the cleaning with his cotton-like wings. He had played with me, fluttering around the house as I chased him, and when Id had a nightmare he was always there to cuddle. It would never be the same without him.
The next few days passed like a bad dream. Everything felt lonely without Blu chirping in the background. I whiled away the hours crying into my pillow. Then, one day, Mom wandered tentatively into my slightly singed room.
Sweety, she murmured, I know youre upset, but we have to go to Mount Pyre soon. For Blus funeral.

TO BE CONTINUED

Yes- Kiri's BACK and she's STILL vaguely sleepy! PM me and I'll do a pic like this for you...

Kiri

Breeder & Berry Grower

Lilycove
Seen July 28th, 2008
Posted March 28th, 2005
435 posts
18.7 Years
Here comes part 2...
Chapter 2
We rode in the hearse, a closed carriage drawn by a pair of Absols, as was traditional in the olden days. Me and Mom were dressed in sombre black clothing. Wed done a lot for the funeral, since Blu was such a good friend. He was like the husband and father my family never had.
Id never been to Mount Pyre, though it wasnt far from Lilycove. It was a great brown mountain, with fringes of green grass on its ledges, in the middle of a crystal-blue lake.
Its part of the sea, Mom pointed out. Its a gulf. I wasnt really listening, but gazing out at the sights. I flicked blonde tresses out of my eyes. Something about the mountain made me nervous, maybe it was the sight of the stone graves scattered on top, or the wreaths of mist around it, I didnt know.
There was a huge, round Wailmer waiting at a small stone dock on the edge of the water. I wondered what it was doing, until I saw the few people standing lethargically around the dock step onto it. It was a ferry! As we came closer, I noticed there were seats strapped to the pokmons back. I picked up Blus little urn and carried it aboard. Mom put her arm around me for comfort, and the Wailmer set off. Despite myself, I couldnt help enjoying the gentle bobbing sensation of riding on it. We got off on the tiny ridge of land outside a door, cut into the cliffs. My body gave an involuntary jolt as I saw the inside was covered in white marble headstones. I got more and more nervous as we ascended through the cavernous graveyard, and Mom noticed.
Are you feeling alright, dear? Youre all green and shaky. Do you want to go outside for some fresh air? Ill just be talking to the funeral people She spoke in a high, hurried voice as if she was trying to fight back tears. She pointed me towards a doorway in a corner- we were on the third floor by now- and led me out.
I was standing on a vertiginously high ledge, looking down on the spray breaking on the rock far below. Above me, there was a wider ledge- more misty, and covered in tufts of grass. I trudged up to a roughly hewn staircase in the rock, but started when I got to the top.
There was a big pokmon right in my way.
It was a Ninetails- I remembered from some lesson at school. It was beautiful, with a creamy white coat and nine bushy tails. It looked a bit like a fox. It had a pretty crest of fur on its head, and piercing blue eyes, instead of red ones as they usually have. I couldnt look away from them. With yet another jolt of shock, I realised I could see through its sleek body, to a weathered gravestone behind it.
Youyoureyoure a ghost! I cried. The Ninetails gazed at me, unblinking. Then, to my surprise, it slowly turned around and loped away to the gravestone, where it faded and disappeared. I just stood, alone on the silent mountain, gawping at where it had been. I wandered up to the grave. Weather had faded the letters carved into it, but I could still read it.
NINETAILS
DIED 1994
HER FLAME WILL LIVE ON FOREVER
I shivered with fear. Ghosts existed here! But then, an idea formed in my head: if a long dead Ninetails could come back to life, why couldnt a Swablu?

Yes- Kiri's BACK and she's STILL vaguely sleepy! PM me and I'll do a pic like this for you...

Kiri

Breeder & Berry Grower

Lilycove
Seen July 28th, 2008
Posted March 28th, 2005
435 posts
18.7 Years
The Long Awaited Chapter 3

I raced inside, my heart thumping. Mom stood inside, unmoving, with sad eyes.
Mom! I cried. I just saw a ghost! A Ninetails!
She sighed, shaking her head slowly.
No, dear. I think youre just upset about Blu, and youre seeing things. I read about it in a book by a psychiatrist
What, you think Im crazy? I shrieked.
No, no! Of course not. But maybe if you saw a grief counsellor for a while? She was talking in a wheedling, gentle tone of voice, the sort used on young children being told that their goldfish was dead. It only irritated me.
I dont need therapy! The words thundered out of my mouth, echoing around the high-ceiling of the room. A few people- dressed in black, sitting muttering in the corners- snapped their heads up as if woken suddenly. But Mom just stared. I was never angry like that. Maybe I had gone crazy

Again, tears filled my eyes. I bolted from the room, outside, up the stairs. I tripped and scraped a knee, grass-staining my black skirt. There were more and more flights of stairs, and I kept climbing. Eventually I met a dead end; a gravestone in the end and surrounded by walls of rough brown rock. I realised how lost I was on the mountain. I looked up into the bland white sky, and felt the prick of raindrops on my face. I huddled down by the gravestone and somehow, my mind full of miserable thoughts, fell asleep.

I thought it was in my dream- a black shape sliding out of the mist. But my eyes were open. It was real. And suddenly, I could make out features- a face like a bare white skull, and a body shrouded in a black cloak- and it was floating above the ground! The second ghost I saw was considerably more terrifying than the first.

Duuh-skull, it wailed, in a voice like a harsh whisper on the wind. It kept drifting towards me- so I started to scream. The eerie silence was pierced, but the ghost didnt flinch, and no-one answered, no-one came. I groaned and cowered in my corner, but then the world was lit with blinding light! All I could see was the blackness of the ghost. It roared with rage, and seemed to drift out of existence. Then all of a sudden it was over and the light faded, more and more, until all that was left was a little Abra with glowing eyes.
And a girl standing behind it.
The girl was very tall and bony with a worn black dress and jet black hair. It was fixed tightly to her head in a bun, but the few strands that escaped fell down well past her shoulders. She took one look at my shocked, tear-stained face and chuckled.

Poor thing. Looks like youve seen a ghost! She was smiling- obviously her version of a smile, more like a shadow of one. It suited her- she looked like a shadow too.
Its not funny! I cried. It could have hurt me!
No, its just a Pokmon. Duskull. Theyre common up here; and it wouldnt have hurt you. It was just scaring you away from its territory.
Oh! A ghost pokmon! I sighed with relief. But the Ninetails was real, I was sure
She held out a hand to help me up.
Im Astra. Astra the psychic, she nodded. And youre Kiri.
How did
Psychic, remember?
Ohright I muttered. Astra seemed too much like a ghost herself to make me feel better. It helped to touch the paper-white skin of her hand, though. She was real. I started to feel a bit stupid for being so neurotic.

Wed better go, she murmured, glancing over her shoulder. Duskulls dont like Flash. But theyll be back soon, and now theyre angry.
At her feet, the little Abras eyes started to glow again, and for a split second it felt like I was shooting through something resistant, like water. But then I found myself standing between Astra and Mom inside the mountain.

Yes- Kiri's BACK and she's STILL vaguely sleepy! PM me and I'll do a pic like this for you...

Kylie-chan

[span="background:#000; padding: 2px 10px;"][color=#C47399]NERF [b][i][color=#789DED]THIS[/color][/i]![/b] [color=#F7E1EE]♥[/color][/color][/span]

Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
cool... love the story... good description, not too long... draws ya in hook line and sinker
KEEP IT UP KIRI, GIRL!!! WE, UR FANS, WANNA READ MORE :D
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

あの交差点で皆がもしスキップをして もしあの町の真中でてを繋いで空を見上げたら

Kylie-chan

[span="background:#000; padding: 2px 10px;"][color=#C47399]NERF [b][i][color=#789DED]THIS[/color][/i]![/b] [color=#F7E1EE]♥[/color][/color][/span]

Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
dat's good. I am also typing frantically as the fourth chapter of DoMT (you guys r up to the second, serebii.net is up to the fourth), makes progress. Actually it's getting quite hard. I've trapped May in a pretty hard position to worm out of. I dunno what I'll do with her anyway, so I'll just continue with James for the moment. I spend my nights pondering this story. (mine). So it had better be good (mine.) Yours is great, kiri.
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

あの交差点で皆がもしスキップをして もしあの町の真中でてを繋いで空を見上げたら

Mr Cat Dog

Frasier says it best

Age 32
Male
London, UK
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted July 12th, 2017
11,344 posts
19.1 Years
It's a good start to a different fic so far. I haven't been able to classify it, as the plot has been quite slow - but slow's good for this, as it builds up the suspense very well. Well done. ^_^ Another thing I liked was the way you used description to capture the atmosphere of the funeral.

You could space out your paragraphs a bit better. It makes my eyes go @[email protected] when I see a big clunk of text like that. Pressing enter twice should make it easier on the eye.
Also, the chapters could be a bit longer. Not too much, but just a bit - to make them feel more like proper chapters, instead of bits of chapters.

Well, all I can say is keep up the good work. ^_^

Kiri

Breeder & Berry Grower

Lilycove
Seen July 28th, 2008
Posted March 28th, 2005
435 posts
18.7 Years
I don't mind bad reviews, as long as they're constructive. Sorry about the typing- its the years of conflicting advice from English teachers, who want us to do indents, and IT people, who want us to leave a line.
I haven't had many IT lessons, that's the thing.
I'm making Chapter 4 longer, so that's why its taking ages....:)

Yes- Kiri's BACK and she's STILL vaguely sleepy! PM me and I'll do a pic like this for you...

Kiri

Breeder & Berry Grower

Lilycove
Seen July 28th, 2008
Posted March 28th, 2005
435 posts
18.7 Years
And finally, here it is! I'm sure all my readers have got bored, though...
Chapter 4

WHOA! I muttered, staggering slightly with giddiness. What happened there?
We just teleported, shrugged Astra. You might feel a bit dizzy if thats your first time teleporting. Itll pass. Just wait till you try teleporting as far as Kanto! Even Abra hurled when we went.

Mom started as we appeared.
Sweetie! Where have you been?? Youve been missing for hours She was clearly going insane with worry.

Im sorryI was just upset. You were right, about the ghost. Maybe I was just seeing things. It felt bad to lie like that, but I knew Mom. Shed put me down for counselling at the drop of a hat, and I hated doctors and psychiatrists.

Whos yourfriend, dear?

Oh- Astra, Mom. She rescued me from a ghoster, pokmon thing!

Just a Duskull, chipped in Astra, and seeing Moms alarmed look chuckled: Theyre not ghosts. Just pokmon who look freaky.

Ohwell, anyway. Thanks for the help Mom was muttering, distracted. Look, theyre finding it a bit difficult to find space for Blus grave in here

My hopes jolted up.
Mom, we could bury him outside! He would have liked that, wouldnt he? If he was outside in the fresh air, away from intruding mourners, maybe he would come back as the Ninetails did.

Mom looked hopeful too. She talked to the funeral people, and eventually we all went outside. I got nervous as we climbed higher and higher, frightened another Duskull might appear. But everything was silent, and finally we found a space beneath an overhanging ledge of rock. I was trying not to cry again, just staring into space, off the edge of the mountain. Some sort of ivy was hanging from the pale brown stone of the ledge.

I didnt really notice what they said at the funeral. Mom just held my hand as tears trickled out of my closed eyes. It was only afterwards that Astra, who had just stood quietly at the back, took my hand and lead my back. I realised a gentle breeze was drifting by, and I heard chimes, like wind chimes, but higher and sweeter sounding. Then I saw them- three or four strange pokmon, with long tails that I had taken to be hanging plants swinging in the wind. Their heads were somehow stuck to the overhang.

Chimechos, smiled Astra. Its wonderful to see them here; theyre very rare.

I smiled at them too, through my sadness, thinking how Blu would like the gentle chimes over him when a gust of wind blew.

The others had gone back inside now, and I was starting to shiver as the icy mist soaked my clothes. I talked to Astra, just to take my mind off everything.

Sowhere are you from?

Nowhere special. Now Im staying with some twins I know, in a treehouse next to the Safari Zone. But normally I live on the route south of Mt Pyre. With my cousin, Psychic Eileen. I should be going soon, Im just here on holiday.

I thought about this. She was travelling, with her Pokmon just what I wanted to do.

You could come with me when I go, if you want, shrugged Astra. Catch a few Pokemon, get in a few battlesIts what youve always wanted, isnt it?

Yes! How did you?

Im psychic, remember? she giggled.

We walked in silence for a while, but then I turned to her.

That would be great, I said levelly. Id love to go with you. I want to be a good trainer some day.

She grinned at me so much she looked like an average person smiling happily.
Were gonna have to get you some starter Pokmon then, huh?

So that was how Blu steered me away from the path of being a dull schoolgirl into something else. I didnt know what the future held; but happiness, action, or disaster, it had to be better than sitting around at home.

Yes- Kiri's BACK and she's STILL vaguely sleepy! PM me and I'll do a pic like this for you...