If Only I Could Cry

Started by ShadowLeader April 3rd, 2009 2:51 AM
  • 506 views
  • 4 replies

ShadowLeader

because shadows follow...

Age 31
Above The Shadows
Seen February 9th, 2010
Posted August 1st, 2009
653 posts
14.2 Years
Tell me what u think!

I do not know why
I cannot cry.
The tears,
they just evade me.
Life zips past
Leaving behind a trail
of Pain and Heartache.
When you left
my world was at an end
And I did not know where to turn.
And yet
I cannot shed tear.
It hurts
So much
This Pain in my heart
If only I could cry,
This Pain would go away
If only I could cry,
Maybe you will love me again someday.

What do you guys think? I dont like the beginning.....i think i caould make it better....give me some suggestions..

deliriouspurple

Female
Seen February 14th, 2016
Posted October 15th, 2015
1,519 posts
14.8 Years
Let's see...yeah I don't like the beginning also, you could change the word "do not know why" into something good...it's your decision...but it's a great poem=]
^ Well the poem is quite good, well same as Ranken, you could change it to I don't know why...but if you want to...
anyways it's a good poem!
¿Que Pasa?