The once lush, green open field called the Safari Zone by the humans was hardly recognisable under the scene of horror that now surrounded it.
There should be a comma before "called" and after "field". And then another comma after "humans" and before "was".
Their limbs were broken, their bodies bruised and battered and blood squirted out profusely out of the wounds of a few.
This sentence had terrible flow to it. .
hyperbeams
That's two words.
They had won! Against the odds, they had actually won!
It's usually not that good of an idea to place the exclamation points at the end of non-speaking sentence, like these. The reader knows your character is excited and they don't need these exclamation points at the end.
. The creatures’ emotions could not be held back any longer and it let out a deafening roar and the remaining Pokemon roared back without hesitation, their voices echoing across the distant mountaintops.
Right around here:
longer and it let out a deafening roar and the remaining Pokemon roared back without hesitation
had bad, bad flow. There are too many 'and's in this sentence.
All righty, then. I see you're rewriting a different fic of yours and I wish you luck. This actually seemed interesting. ^^ Good job.