Citadel of the Daleks

Started by Neutrino April 9th, 2009 10:39 AM
  • 691 views
  • 1 replies

Neutrino

The Jelly-Stuff of legend...

Age 28
Male
Leeds, England
Seen July 10th, 2010
Posted March 28th, 2010
333 posts
14.3 Years
This is not my first fic, it's my first non-pokemon fic, so please R&R, constructive crit welcomed and handed a dup of tes :D

Chapter One: The familiar foe

The sky was a deep purple, satellites shimmering off the two moons that hung in the sky. Clouds drifted by, their shapes but black silhouettes against the inky blackness of night on an alien planet; The planet Rimirax, as it was locally known, was in the ‘Belhatchi star system’, a cluster to the side of the ‘Bronze nebula’.


In it’s system, it wasn’t at all as large as the others, in fact it was the smallest of the star system. It orbited around two suns, which orbited around themselves. It was orbited by five other planets, which together with Rimirax made up the six planets of Belhatchi. he five other planets mentioned, are: ‘Celluaine’, ‘Morabein’ ,‘Igfram’, ‘Laculon’ and ‘Gigulian’.
***

The Doctor sat down on the chair in his TARDIS, musing as it slowly sunk down, like an office chair. The TARDIS glowed an ominous dark green, the big concrete structures around the central control room casting long shadows across the high walls.


A light flashed blue on a control panel, and the Doctor groaned annoyed. He hauled himself up and flicked a switch or two, muttering something about space-tourists. Just as he was about to sit down, a warning light flashed red, combating the eerie green glow of the TARDIS interior.


The Doctor snapped his head to it, and turned a knob on one panel, and bounding over to another twist a nozzle. The light died down, but did not go out. The Doctor frowned. He bent down to peer at his computer, Gallifreyan symbols twirling and taking shape. The Doctor arched his eyebrow, and tapped a button on the keypad. The symbols took a different shape. He tapped two more keys, twisted a knob on a side panel and tapped roughly on the top of the monitor.


The screen went fuzzy for a moment, then came back on. There were many more symbols, and the Doctor sighed.


“Distress signal” He muttered. He slammed down a small lever at the side of the computer, and the lines that made up the symbol turned from white to red. “Locking on…” murmured the Doctor. He twisted a knob on a panel, slammed down a level on the next one and turned that glassy ball, and then flicked two switches on the panel two across from that one.


“he..h…hel….help…u- us…” screeched a voice through a crackle of fuzziness, but that was all that came through before the voice link was cut off. The Doctor was fazed for a moment. That voice sounded strangely familiar. He shook his head, and slammed down one last lever.


The central column shone a dazzling green glow, as the glass disks began to rise and fall, pumping the power that allowed the TARDIS to enter and travel through the vortex of time. The grated floor shook, and the lights dimmed, then glowed again. Sparks flew from one panel, and another warning flashed red, a klaxon sounding from deep within the TARDIS controls somewhere.

The Doctor wrenched up the big black lever and the TARDIS shook, sparks flying madly, the ground spinning. The Doctor stumbled backwards, falling back and down onto the chair. The middle rotor churned, up and down, the whooshing grating sound of the TARDIS’ ancient engines filling his ears.


The central column glowed bright, so that all the doctor could see was whiteness, but when it died down, the TARDIS was still, no lights flashing, no klaxons blaring, no nothing. The Doctor stared warily at the door, contemplating on what could be on the other side.


He took out his trusty sonic screwdriver from the pocket of his blue pinstriped suit. He walked to his computer screen, where the distress signal was still locked on in red. He shoved it into a socket beside the monitor, and twisted it.


The whirring sound grew, it’s pitch going from low to high, the blue light shining up from the socket. It made a zapping sound, and the Doctor twisted it back and put it into his pocket. He grabbed his long brown coat form the railing and went outside, still putting it on.


He was in a room, that looked like a storage room, there were wooden crates with bold names stamped on them, a dim light bulb hung from the ceiling, and there was a vent in the wall, the grating lined with dust and grime.


He stepped out, the doors doing their trademark creak as they closed and clunked shut. He made himself over to what he figured was a door, and flunked the lock with his sonic screwdriver.


When he opened the door, he found himself walking into a room full of computers, wires panels with flicks and switches, a control room of sorts. It looked like some sort of space station, and there was a metallic smell in the air.
Footsteps clanged against the metal, and the Doctor heard a voice before he had time to turn around.


“Who are you? And what are you doing here?” The voice said. It was a woman’s voice. The Doctor turned round to face the speaker.


It was a woman with black hair, that was curled and went down past her shoulders. She had very pale skin, that went green slightly around her eyes. She wore a red velvet shirt with a black waistcoat, and a knee-length black skirt, black tights and shiny polished high heel shoes. The classic earth secretary, although without the green eyes.


“ Hi! Yes, I’m, um, Smith, John Smith. I’m a, uh, electrician. Yes, I was sent down here to check the lights.” He said, nodding. The woman nodded, giving him a weird look.


“ Why? What was wrong with the lights?” She asked.

The Doctor babbled ‘errs’ and ‘umms’ whilst he thought of an answer. The woman cut in.

“Aha! I knew it! You’re lying! I know who you really are! You’re…” The Doctor held his breath “… Derek! We’ve been waiting for you! What’re you doing out here you silly Slupini!” She laughed.


The Doctor babbled a “yes I am” followed by a “ I’m a silly what?”.


The woman led the Doctor down a corridor that led off from the right side of the room he had previously found himself in. The woman’s shoes clanged annoyingly against the grated floor. The walls were metal as well, green with blue flickering lights and wires stapled to them.


“Sorry, who are you? And what planet is this? It’s just, I’ve got rubbish memory. Little incident, years back, involving a hosepipe and a misshapen coat rack. Nasty.” The Doctor quizzed.


“Right, because coat racks are…” She said, waiting for an answer. The Doctor didn’t pick up, so she just carried on anyway. “Oh they say ignorance is no hindrance. Well, I’m Delphine, this is the planet Rimirax, why I need to remind you is beyond me.”
The Doctor nodded.

“Oh, that’s right. It’s all come back to me now. Rimirax? That sounds familiar…” He said, snatching at his thoughts. Delphine laughed.


“Oh joy! You’ve remembered what planet you’re on!” She sjirachied, waving her arms about. The Doctor took no notice. Then the thought came to him.


“Yes! I knew it! Rimirax, part of the Belhatche star system, I knew it. I’ve been here before! Years ago! Well, I say here, it was that other one. Right next to us. What’s it called… Igfram I think it was. Yeah, Igfram-” He exclaimed, until he noticed Delphine looking at him like he were a talking jellybean. He quietened down, and they walked on in silence.



They came to the end of the corridor and through some double doors. He found himself in a round, brightly lit room, about the size of a conference room one might find in a police station. There was a big table that filled the middle of the room, and several seats around it.


In the first chair was an old man with grey hair, again with slightly green skin around his eyes. He wore a black suit and had a gold ring with a ruby inset.

To the left of him was what looked like a floating glass dome, about the size of a photocopier. Inside it, was a small jelly like green thing with little spiky flecks popping out all over it. A tentacle slithered out from it’s body, an eye on the end of it, and looked at the Doctor.


To the right of the first man was, what could’ve been a squid/human hybrid. It had a human form, but his/her/otherwise skin was green and had three legs that ended in fleshy pods. It had flaps of skin on it’s face, that looked like elephant ears.


There was another chair next to the squid-man, but it was empty. Next the dome-blob, there was an ordinary man in a blue suit with black shiny shoes. But his face was just plain weird. In it’s inset was one big green eye, and there were ears on the top, bottom left and right of his face His mouth was, sort of under his eye. The bottom end of his eye rose up with the skin, which formed the upper lip of his mouth. Pretty hard to explain.


The seat at the far end was unoccupied, but Delphine dragged The Doctor around to it and sat him down.


“Okay everyone! This is Derek! He’s going to help us.” Delphine said, and there were murmurs of agreement, squelches and beeps. “But before he does, I feel we should introduce ourselves. I’m Delphine Camilla, I’m Mr.Quillia’s secretary. He’s the boss, but he’s not here right now. He,” She said, pointing to the first man, “Is Mr. Gilgatchie. He’s head of operations here at R.I.D Worldwide, that’s ‘Rimirax International Defences Worldwide’”


Gilgatchie nodded to The Doctor, who nodded back. Delphine continued, pointing to the dome-blob. “This is Filbebola, RID’s representative and spokesperson…”

Filbebola bubbled around, obviously pleased.


“… is Sir Wandelam Fildelack, he’s the boss’s son and a very… suitable right hand man.” Delphine concluded.


Fildelack nodded, and the Doctor sat back in his uncomfortable chair. “What about him?” He said, pointing to the green squid person. Delphine looked, and then frowned.

“What about who?” She said, shaking he head. The Doctor pointed, staring at Delphine.

“Him, him! What about hi-” He replied, but then he looked and found himself pointing at an empty chair. The squid-person was gone. He shook his head, and rubbed his eyes.


“Sorry, carry on.” he said.Delphine looked at him strangely, but carried on.


“So, anyway, this is our problem” She said, pointing at a piece of paper. He looked, and saw a diagram. It was an image of a spaceship, and a spaceship that was all too familiar.

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Okay, um, if you have read it, thanks and please review. I will start writing the next chapter, but I'm going away for the weekend, so it'll be on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning at the VERY earliest. Thanks!!
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Thanks to celuthea for proofreading
Age 34
Female
Karnac (in RL, The UK)
Seen March 14th, 2010
Posted February 8th, 2010
761 posts
14.7 Years
Just a few little things, but don't worry, all incredibly minor - pretty soon you wont need me!

This is not my first fic, it's my first non-pokemon fic, so please R&R, constructive crit welcomed and handed a dup of tes :D
Sorry, my typo-radar zoomed in on 'Thsi' >.< Must turn that thing off..


“Distress signal” He muttered. He slammed down a small lever at the side of the computer, and the lines that made up the symbol turned from white to red. “Locking on…” murmured the Doctor. He twisted a knob on a panel, slammed down a level on the next one and turned the glassy ball above his head, and then flicked two switches on the panel two across from that one.
Here, for readers not as intimately associated with the series, the description was a bit wooly. This helps set the scene a little more.


He..h…hel….help…u- us…” screeched a voice through a crackle of fuzziness, but that was all that came through before the voice link was cut off.

as the glass inserts began
I think that's what you meant, again a typo but there.

The Doctor wrenched up a big black lever and the TARDIS shook, sparks flying madly, the ground spinning. The Doctor stumbled backwards, falling back and down onto the chair. The middle rotor churned, up and down, the whooshing grating sound of the TARDIS’ ancient engines filling his ears.
It's better to describe the lever than to liken it to something that requires canon knowledge to understand.


He took out his trusty sonic screwdriver
Just a missed 'y' there ;)

He was in a room, that looked like a storage room, there were wooden crates with bold names stamped on them, a dim light bulb hung from the ceiling, and there was a vent in the wall, the grating lined with dust and grime.
The sentance structure needed the 'that', or else it read a little strangely.


“Who are you? And what are you doing here?” The voice said. It was a woman’s voice. The Doctor turned round to face the speaker.
Spoke is past tense when describing something.


Pretty hard to explain.
Don't worry about putting things like this in; the audience with find the picture with their minds eye.


All in all, I really liked this! And that's saying something, considering I very rarely stray from my usual fandoms for fear of what may be out there. I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter, and I think it's very brave of you to use your own star system and species. Bravo!




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