I just had an idea...

Started by Neiko Star April 11th, 2009 8:45 AM
  • 1184 views
  • 8 replies
Seen November 18th, 2012
Posted June 18th, 2012
1,167 posts
14.5 Years
The story starts with an extremely famous and powerful Gym Leader. However, for amusement, she always covers her face with a veil when she battles challengers. One day, while she is shopping, a huge gas explosion takes place in the building she is in. She is extremely injured, but a few months later, she wakes up in a hospital. She has many stitches and her face is partially scarred up, making her unrecognizable. And she discovers in horror that her right arm is gone. The doctors also tell her that the explosion ruined her vocal chords, so she can't speak anymore. During the meantime, the police is searching for her. They have no clues whatsoever, and they are about to give up, so they make an announcement on TV. Tons of girls flock to the police station, each of them insisting that they are the real Gym Leader. But since they have no proof, the police won't accept them. The real Gym Leader comes, but since she can't speak, she can't tell the police officers her true identity. She can't write either, because she is right-handed. She had her identification and everything on her during the explosion, so they're gone now. Her Pokeballs are also missing. Without any evidence, the police turn her back. She is very frustrated, and walks around the city aimlessly, until a dangerous criminal spots her. He is currently on the run, trying to free his partner, who is still in prison, so he takes her hostage. He breaks into the prison that night, using her as a shield. He and his partner, another woman, manage to escape. The police are furious. The pair of criminals plan on getting rid of the Gym Leader, as she is a witness, but at the last minute, a teenager arrives, sees them, and saves her just in time.


That's the main idea. Then, the Gym Leader goes on a journey with the teenager that saved her. But the problem is, I can't find a good reason why she should go on a journey. And I don't know how the story will end. Any suggestions? And what do you think? Is the plot too complicated/long/weird?

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
The premise is alright I think. At first I thought you mean that he broke the wall, using the hostage as a battering ram kind of thing, but human shield, as not to get shot by the prison guards I suppose. Haha.

That actually could be up for debate, whether or not Police in the pokeverse have guns (we know there is the banned episode with a guy pointing a gun at Ash, but it has also been said that people would usually solve feuds with Pokemon battles, though I forget where exactly.

It also seems a bit convenient (for the story to progress at least), that she both looses her voice and her writing arm, so as unable to speak the truth. But like I said, the premise looks pretty good :)

Perhaps she could still have her arm and voice, be on her way to the police station to figure out the identity of the gym leader, but get kidnapped in the meantime.

To make the journey worthwhile I suppose too, she could find her pokeballs at some point (somehow), and perhaps, thinking that life is short (a la explosion) decide to go on said journey.
Seen November 18th, 2012
Posted June 18th, 2012
1,167 posts
14.5 Years
Hmm...I guess I could make her keep her arm...how about this? It turns out that the police have found her Pokeballs, and have given them to the Champion, who will keep them until the Gym Leader is found. Because of that, she'll have to go on a journey and beat Gyms so that she can access the Indigo League! (Because the guards won't let you through unless you have eight badges...)

Lol, breaking a wall by using a Gym Leader? Even if the police don't have guns, they have Growlithes, who breathe fire, no? XD Dangerous enough.

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
Yeah I think that could work, as long as you also explain the importance of the Champion. (like not that the Champion would suddenly deserve to babysit the pokemon, just cause) :)
Seen November 18th, 2012
Posted June 18th, 2012
1,167 posts
14.5 Years
Okay. But the hard part will be actually writing all that. You see, I have this problem with writer's block. In the beginning of a story, I'm always really excited about writing it, but then, a few chapters later, I have this new urge to write another fic.

Oh well. Just one thing, though: do you think the story should take place in Johto? Because I really like the Pokemon there. So do you think it'll be a problem if I say that the whole guards/league thing is the same as in Kanto?

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
I think all regions are quite similar, I haven't played the colour or advanced games unfortunately, though so I'm not 100% sure on that. (I played first and fourth generation only)