Brinstar

Intergalatic Bountyhunter

Age 37
Planet Zebes (Manhattan XD)
Seen March 10th, 2005
Posted March 10th, 2005
8 posts
18.7 Years
This is a Original Trainer fanfic I've been working on for a while now. I know OTs are generally cliched and whatnot....Ive been told my fic somewhat breaks away a bit. Anyway, enjoy. I'm trying to create a realistic twist to the Pokemon world here. (Also, this story is based off of my trip through Pokemon: Sapphire Version, but as the fic progresses elements from other games will be tossed in.)


Diamonds in the Rough


Chapter One: Desperado


16-year-old Erics tanned hand grasped the rim of the birds nest as he pulled himself onto the tree branch. Peering inside, he saw three, tiny blue eggs nestled in the brown mass.

Wow. Real Taillow eggs! Eric exclaimed.

One of the eggs began to twitch and shake and soon the others followed. The top of the egg cracked open to reveal a small, black bird Pokemon, covered in a slimy mess. The other two eggs hatched as well, and Eric looked on in awe. Wanting to comfort the small babies, he reached his hand out to them. Before he could touch them, however, a black blur came from the sky and began to peck at him, screeching wildly.

Ack! The mother Swellow! Eric cried, shielding his head from the large black birds beak and talons.

Fumbling and trashing, Eric fell from the tree and landed onto the ground below with a thump, shooting pain throughout his body. Moaning, he let his head lay on the leafy ground, and looked up. He could barely make out the sun and sky from under all the trees in these woods. Still, this was a favorite resting spot for him. It was located just outside Littleroot Town, and only he and a few neighborhood kids actually came here.

Erics vision was blocked by long blonde hair flowing over his body. Rolling over, on his belly, Eric looked at the girls sandaled feet, then up at her blue jeans, and then at her black T-Shirt. Finally, after looking at her blue eyes and blonde hair, he recognized one of his closest friends.

Hey Kristen, whats up? Eric asked.

What are doing on the ground, Eric, youre gonna get dirty Kristen replied.

Eric jumped up, and brushed his blue jeans, and red shirt off. Then after running his hands through his black hair to fix it up, he started to continue his conversation, but noticed a small blue creature behind Kristens legs.

Kristen, what is that? Eric inquired.

Kristen turned around and bent down to pick up the animal, and once it was safely in her arms, wheeled back around to show her friend. Eric leaned to get a better look, and noted that it was a Pokemon, one he had never seen before, but a Pokemon nonetheless.

Mud! Mudkip! It cried happily.

Startled, Eric stumbled backwards, forcing a giggle out of Kristen.

Its called a Mudkip, Kristen explained, I named him Neptune.

Waitthat Pokemon, is yours? Eric asked.

Uh huh! Kristen said, smiling, I got him from my dad. Arent you getting your Pokemon Trainers license from him today too?

Yeah, I stopped by the lab earlier today, but he wasnt around. Eric sighed, Is he home now, or what?

Kristens father was none other than the highly respected Professor Birch. In the tropical Hoenn region, field research was more common. Birch loved field research more than anything, constantly disappearing during the day to track Pokemon in the wild. He had promised both Eric and Kristen Pokemon today, but Eric had been unable to contact him.

Sorry Eric, he left again to observe some Pokemon. Kristen laughed.

Arrgh! Your dad is on the move constantly! Eric said, exasperated, How am I supposed to get my Pokemon?!

I dont know Kristen replied, rubbing the back of her head, You shouldve came around noon.

Im going to go find him right now. Eric said, getting up to leave.

Wandering throughout the woods, Eric glanced around, looking for any signs of humanity. He wanted to hurry and find Birch, as the sky was becoming a crimson red, signaling evening was approaching. A gentle breeze blew in the air, that and the dropping temperature made Eric shiver.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the woods, a middle-aged man in a lab coat, with shorts, sport sandals and a handbag awkwardly made his way through the forest. This man, was none other than Professor Birch himself. He stopped in front a small, plump, red worm-like creature, clumsily walking along the side of a tree. Smiling, he allowed the small crawler onto his arm and lifted it to his face.

Why, its a Wurmple. Hello there, little guy. Birch said, gruffly.

Wurrrmple! It purred.

Birch gently set it onto the shrubbery below, and got ready to continue his field research. Unbeknownst to Birch, a sleek shadowy creature made its way through the greenery its blood red eyes fixated on the human pray. Birch bent over to pick some Oran berries to the Pokemon he had with--

Oh! Thats right! Birch exclaimed, Eric was supposed to get his Pokemon today, too! He must be waiting for me back at the lab!

Birch turned to head home, but as soon he turned around he saw a four-legged lupine Pokemon. Covered in gray fur, and a glossy black mane that ran from its head down to its tail, the Pokemon lowered its head and bared its fangs, growling low. Its fiery red eyes pierced Birchs hazel ones, and cold sweat began to pour down his neck.

A-a M-Mightyena.. Birch stammered.

He had seen Mightyena in the wild, whilst observing them, but he was never considered to be food by one. He would have to chase it away with the Pokemon he was carrying with him. His hand shaking, Birch reached for the Pokeballs in his bag. The Mightyena could smell his fear, its eyes swerved to the bag and then to Birch. The wolf-like Pokemon lunged for the professor. Screaming, Birch dropped the bag, and made a break for it. Running like mad, he prayed for his life, so that he could she his wife and daughter again.

PROFESSOR BIRCH!!! Eric yelled, jogging through the woods.

He was tired of this, he was promised a Pokemon today, and dang it he was going to get it. Running out of breath, he decided to sit down and take a break from searching. When he leaned over, his butt landed on something squishy. Quickly standing back up, Eric turned around in time to see what was about to attack him.

Shrooooomish! Shroooo! the small mushroom Pokemon yelled.

Ack! A Shroomish?! Eric exclaimed, backing away.

It was too late, the Shroomish immediately let out a spray of Stun Spore. The gold haze billowed over Eric, forcing him to cover his mouth and turn tail to run. The Shroomish chased after him, trying to punish Eric for squashing it.

Neptune! Tackle!! Kristens voice called out.

Kristens Mudkip Neptune slammed into the side of Shroomish knocking it backwards. When it picked itself back up, it looked at Kristen, Neptune and then Eric. Knowing when to run and fight another day, Shroomish hopped into the bushes. Turning around, Kristen walked over to Eric to make sure he was alright.

You okay? she asked.

Yeah, Im fine. I didnt breathe any of the spores in. Eric replied.

You shouldnt have run off on your own. We should just go back and wait for my dad. Its getting dark.

Hmm, maybe

Their conversation was ended when Birchs cry could be heard, forcing flocks of Swellow to fly out of their trees. Birch was trembling like crazy now. He was surrounded by three Mightyenas. In his frantic fear, he had forgotten that they hunt in packs, that they would try to corner him like this. He backed up some more, and was up against the rough bark of a tree. The Mightyenas advanced onto him, licking their chops at their anticipated meal. Birch uttered a cry out, before clambering up the tree. The three wolves rushed at the base of the trunk, barking furiously at their meal that they foolishly let escape.

Barely holding onto the branch, Birch looked down onto his predators below. With each bark, with each primal roar they released, frothy saliva would gush from their mouths. Closing his eyes, Birch prayed for someoneanyone to save him.

Eric and Kristen were running as fast as they could, both silently hoping that Birch was okay. After a couple of feet of running, they could hear the Mightyenas loud barking, and then they came into view.

Kris! Your dad! Hes up in the tree! Eric yelled.

Oh my goodness! Weve got to get him down from there! Kristen cried.

Grasping the small Pokeball from her belt, Kristen pressed the button on it, and enlarged it to the size of a small baseball. Hurling the ball at the growling Mightyenas, Kristen prepared to do battle with the beasts.

Go Neptune!!

The ball popped open, blasting energy everywhere. The silver colored energy started to form into Neptune, who shook his head around, glad to be out of confinement. Upon seeing the Mightyenas, the little Mudkip immediately struck a fighting pose, aware that it was about to engage in combat. The pack of the Mightyenas turned around to quickly dispose of the morsel.

Water Gun! Now! Kristen ordered.

Neptune inhaled, then blasted water at the dogs. All three jumped backwards to dodge the attack, their speed outclassing Neptunes. Kristen knew she wouldnt be able to take ONE Mightyena down, let alone, three. Her Mudkip was just too weak for this. But she had to at least drive them away from her father. Professor Birch was waiting for the wolves to move far enough away from the tree where he could hop down. He needed to get to his bag, and use the other 2 Pokemon. If he could just.

Eric! My bag! Go get my bag! Birch roared.
Wha?! Okay! Eric responded.

Eric quickly made his way through the woods, until he located the bag. Grabbing the worn leather, he ran back to the battle site. Neptune was worn out from spraying Water Guns at the Mightyenas, who just dodged each blast.

Eric! Send out the Pokemon to help battle! Birch called out.

Eric rummaged through the bag, and grabbed the two Pokeballs. Hurling them, he watched the energy blasts form on both sides of Neptune. The first one was a small green lizard with a fire red belly, and large yellow eyes. Standing on two legs, it glared at its enemy. The second Pokemon was a downy orange chick with yellow wings and a head crest.

Okayhere I go Eric gulped.

Next Chapter: Dawn of Adventure

Mr Cat Dog

Frasier says it best

Age 32
Male
London, UK
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted July 12th, 2017
11,344 posts
19.1 Years
Although this is obviously how the game starts, many fics don't start in this way - and you've portrayed it very well. It's a different way to introduce an OT fic and you've done it well. It's also nice how you've integrated the descriptions in to actual events (falling over then staring up - starting from the legs).

My only real concern is your use of colour. Although it's good that you're using them, if you enhance them - you can create a more vivid atmosphere to the reader. Continuous monotonous use of red, blue, yellow - and other basic colours describes the world like Zelda: The Wind Waker XD But... if you use stuff like crimson, ruby, scarlet - you can set across set moods just by manipulating colour. It's hard to do - but it would really improve the mood of the fic.

Well - this is good start to an otherwise predictable fic (not yours... just the concept of OT fics). Try to work on the little things - and this fic'll turn out great. ^_^

Brinstar

Intergalatic Bountyhunter

Age 37
Planet Zebes (Manhattan XD)
Seen March 10th, 2005
Posted March 10th, 2005
8 posts
18.7 Years
Thanks for the advice. Im reposting this from SPP, Ive written up to chapter 9 there, heh. I'll definately apply the advice I get to later chapters.



Chapter Two: Dawn of Adventure



The once rust colored sky was now a deep blue, the bright sparkles in the sky and cool breeze signaling nighttime. Most of the forest Pokemon had tucked in for the night, the occasional Noctowl could be heard hooting in the inky darkness. It would usually be more silent at this time, if a Pokemon Battle wasnt occurring in the woods.

Neptune rammed as hard as it could into one Mightyena, knocked it back somewhat. Small drips of blood fell from the red nose of the wolf, but it immediately ran its tongue over its muzzle to lap it up. Growling lowly, the beast rushed Neptune, knocking it over completely, and placing a paw on its exposed chest. Baring its teeth, the Mightyena prepared to take its first bite.

ERIC!! Kristen, yelled, her voice shaking, HELP NEPTUNE!!!

Eric looked over at the downy chick Pokemon. He didnt exactly know the Pokemons name, nor did he care at this point. Pointing at the attacking Mightyena, Eric ordered it to attack. Being a beginner Pokemon, it had no trouble obeying its temporary master and rushed blindly into combat. The other two Mightyenas stood guard around the tree where Birch had climbed up, waiting to rip him apart should he fall down.

Eric! That Pokemons called a Torchic, have it use Ember! Birch called.

There was no need for Eric to order the attack, as the Torchic heard Birchs voice and used the attack itself.

Torchic!! Torrrr! It squealed before opening its beak and spewing out tiny cinders toward Mightyena.

The attack barely fazed the beast at first, but then some of the embers got into its eye. Howling fiercely, and thrashing about, the Mightyena backed away from Neptune and Torchic. Neptune immediately flipped over onto its feet and sprayed Mightyena with a Water Gun, knocking it back a few feet. The other Pokemon, the green gecko was ready to help as well, and hopped into the air, flipped around, and slammed the wolf with its thick tail.

Whoa! Whats the name for that Pokemon? Eric asked, impressed.

Thats a Treecko, and it used Slam attack! Birch replied.

Skidding back, the Mightyena growled a bit, before falling over in pain. Seeing this, the other two pack wolves decided to help, but before they could, Birchs tree branch snapped, and fell directly onto them. A huge cloud of dust and whimpering was all that could be heard, until the two beasts could be seen running into the woods. The other Mightyena limped after them, his role in the pack would be decided afterwards. Eric and Kristen rushed over to the fallen Birch, who was doubled over in pain.

Dad! You okay?! Kristen cried.

Yeah, Im fine. Birch coughed.

With that, Birch tried to stand up, but a searing pain shot through his leg and he fell over. Eric and Kristen managed to catch him, but it was clear that he had sprained his ankle.

Dad, you cant walk, well help you home. Kristen cooed.

Ugh. Eric, the Pokemon, go recall them into their Pokeballs. Birch said, gruffly.

Eric grabbed the two Pokeballs in each hand, and clicked on them with each finger. Transparent red lasers shot from each ball, and pierced the two Pokemon, turning them into energy, and sucking them into their Pokeballs. Placing them into Professor Birchs bag, Eric hurried to catch up Kristen, who was helping her father walk back to town.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The morning sun shone through the large windows of Birchs lab, if you could even call it that. Professor Birch was more talented as a field researcher, and his lab was nothing more then dozens of cardboard boxes used for storage, some houseplants, and the occasional coffee mug on a table. Birch, now in crutches, was apologizing for the events that took place last night.

Eric, sorry for yesterday. It was my recklessness that endangered you, plus I didnt a chance to give you one of the Pokemon. Birch said.

Dont sweat it, Eric replied, To tell the truth, Im just grateful to be alive after that ordeal.

Birch laughed nervously, still shaken from yesterdays events. He then hobbled into the back room of his lab, Eric steadily following behind him. The back room was biblically disorganized. Massive amounts of discarded paperwork were strewn about, outdated magazines, and empty Pokeballs littered the shelves. The walls were decorated with cobwebs, and Eric was sure he spotted a Spinarak in the corner of the room, but he resolved to keep his mouth shut. Birch grabbed his bag from its location on the floor and removed the two Pokeballs from it.

So? Have you decided on which Pokemon you want? Theres two left. Treecko and Torchic. Birch stated.

Eric thought about the Pokemon and how they battled yesterday. He vaguely remembered the Treecko, since it did the least work of the three. The Torchic stood out in his mind more. Eric could still vividly recall how its Ember attack had blinded that Mightyena. The decision was clear now.

Ill take the Torchic. Eric decided.

Oh? Most of the male rookies choose Treecko. They say its cooler looking. Birch responded, surprised.

Birch handed Eric the Torchics Pokeball. Eric immediately let the Pokemon out, so he could get a closer look at it. The ball popped open, blasting energy all over the room. Eric shielded his eyes, but Birch was used to it. The silver light took shape and formed into the Torchic from last night.

Tor! Torrchiiii! it chirped.

Eric bent down and rubbed the Torchics head, and smiled as it purred slightly in response. He couldnt believe that he would be taking this Pokemon home with him. Lifting it up, Eric held the Torchic close to his face, and he could feel the warmth from its fire gland located within its body.

Now then little bud, you need a name, Eric started, What would suit you?

Eric went through a list of generic fire Pokemon names, such as Blaze, Inferno, and Hothead. Each name was worse than the last, and it got to the point where Torchic was refusing some of them. Finally, Eric noted Torchics feet, which were laced in bumpy, rough skin, and had sharp claws at the ends of the toes.

Hmmhow about Talon? Eric suggested.

Torchiiic! it chirped.

Looks like it likes the name Eric. Birch said, laughing.

Good, cause it was either that, or Beak Eric replied, relieved.

Eric, are you planning to challenge Gym Leaders? Birch asked, suddenly serious.

Eric zoned out for a second. The mere mention of Gym Leaders conjured up thoughts of his father. Eric didnt hate his father. No it wasnt that. Eric hated the actions of his father, what he did to him and his mother around 2 years ago. As far back as Eric could remember, his parents were always having little arguments about everything. Then as some point lost in memory, the little arguments turned to big arguments, then those big arguments turned to physi

Eric, HELLO?

Erics thoughts were shattered by Birchs gruff voice. He forgot where he was at first, but he quickly snapped back into reality.

Eric, I asked you a question. Are you planning to journey and challenge Gym Leaders? You are old enough to do so. Birch said, impatiently.

Eric thought for a bit. Journeying around Hoenn sounded pretty nice, but if he challenged Gym Leaders, that meant he would have to face his father eventually. After leaving Eric and his wife, Erics father opened up a Pokemon Gym in Petalburg City. Eric wasnt sure if he was ready to face him again. He didnt necessarily HATE his father. He just wanted to know why things couldnt just remain perfect between his family. Eric made his decision. He at least wanted to talk with his father.

Yes, Professor. I will challenge Gym Leaders. Eric said at last.

Well, in that case, you will need a PokeDex. Birch replied.

A PokeDex? Eric inquired, he had heard of them before, but he never knew exactly what they did.

Yes, the PokeDex, Birch said, pulling one from his bag, They are small hand-held encyclopedias that store the data of Pokemon within them. Point them at a Pokemon, and the infrared sensor will pick up its life signal and give you information about them. Its very useful for Pokemon battles.

Birch placed the red console in a slot on his computers hard drive. After some rhythmic humming coming from the computer, it ejected the Dex. Birch handed the PokeDex to Eric, who placed it in his pocket.

Ive registered you as a Pokemon Trainer. Your ID # is 000465. This means you can legally participate in the annual Pokemon League Tournament. Provided, of course, that you actually have 8 trainer badges. Those are required to enter the tournament. Birch explained.

Got it. Eric replied.

Lifting up Talon and smiling, Eric started to head out of the front door, but turned around suddenly.

Hey, uh Professor?

Yeah?

Wheres Kristen? Is she collecting badges too? Eric asked.

Um, no, she isnt. Kristen is training to become a Pokemon Coordinator, so she left to go travel around Hoenn collecting Pokemon Contest Ribbons. Birch answered.

Oh really? Thats cool. Ill see if we could travel together. Eric said.

With that, Eric said his goodbyes and head out the front door. He figured he go home and pack some stuff up first. Then hed try to catch up with Kristen. He hoped she hadnt gotten too far, since he didnt like traveling alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


So, youre planning to leave.TODAY?! Erics mom cried.

Erics mother, Janie, was always over-protective of her son. She looked very similar to Eric, except she had long black hair that flowed over her tan skin. While Eric and Kristen were always playing outside as children, she always did her best to try to keep Eric out of danger. Now she was being informed that her son was leaving her to go traveling and possibly endanger his life.

I agreed to you getting a Pokemon, but not leaving.

I know Mom, but I cant keep Talon here forever.

Upon hearing this, Talon cocked his head to the side and chirped.

Plus Kristen left. Im going to be bored out of my mind. Eric said.

Yes, but if you challenge Gym Leaders, youll have to face

Dad Eric said, finishing the sentence for her.

With that, Janie bent down and hugged her son, tears streaming down her cheek.

Look Mom, I want to see him again. Besides, I cant just stay here forever. Plus, Im going to try and find Kristen so we can travel together. I wont be alone.

The two stood there for a couple of seconds in complete silence.

Eric. Youre my son, and I supposed to know whats best for you, she started, But if you really want to do this, well, I cant stop you, can I?

Nope. Eric said, smiling.

The two of them shared a laugh. It was nervous, sad laughter, but laughter nonetheless. After a couple of hours of packing, Eric set off. It was early evening, so he hoped Kristen had slowed down so he could catch up with her. Standing on the outset of Littleroot, Eric looked back and saw his mother, Professor Birch and his wife all waving at him. Smiling, he waved back slowly and turned around. A slight breeze blew his black hair to the side.

Next Chapter: Kristen and the determined Swellow