Haz

Haz ya seen my hack?

Female
Australia- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!, Oi, Oi, Oi!
Seen August 16th, 2011
Posted October 21st, 2010
698 posts
14.5 Years
To make it easier to read, I placed the first chapter in an attachment. Hope you like it!


Okay just a few things to clarify in case you don't get it:
Spoiler:

Daodon: This is the fake region of which the stories takes place. It's the same region in my hack, Moon-Glow. It has at least 100 new Pokemon with new evos and pre evos.

Team Chaos: The evil Team which Wolfe and Radium are in. They have no uniforms but to show membership by having a chain with a Dragon head tattoed on thier body.

Kaox (pronunced K-X): The psychotic, pure-evil leader of Tea Chaos. He was the son of Giovanni but tore himself away after Team Rocket fell. Taking the remaining grunts, he built Team Chaos. He believes Wolfe will over throw him so he wants him gone ASAP.
DeviantART: Haz-Za

Fanfiction.net: Ha-Za-A


Credits to Galukxy for this awesome banner :)
Age 28
Male
650
Seen November 13th, 2009
Posted September 8th, 2009
62 posts
18.5 Years
I think you should try to incorporate the author's notes into the text as well as you can.

By the way, I don't see how this is 15+ besides the unnecessary swearing. Without the swearing, I'd call it a U, because the violence is cartoony. That is, unless something else is going to happen later on in the story.

I attached my review so it'd be like your's.

Haz

Haz ya seen my hack?

Female
Australia- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!, Oi, Oi, Oi!
Seen August 16th, 2011
Posted October 21st, 2010
698 posts
14.5 Years
The violence will come later in the chapter.

I just read your review. I've taken your advice and added more description and changed or removed some wording. No Tuskania isn't a fake evo, it evolves from anothe fakemon I made up. There will be a few fakemon in the fic. Maybe I should add pics?

Anyway, I'm writing the second part now, stay tuned :)
DeviantART: Haz-Za

Fanfiction.net: Ha-Za-A


Credits to Galukxy for this awesome banner :)