I like what it is about and what words you used. there are some pretty good metaphors and personifications. (thats one hell of a word) I just miss a bit of a pattern. no rhyme schemes or something like that. maybe you could write another verse, I would like to know what it would be about. but you did a good job, is this the first poem you wrote?
keep it up! d( ' ' )z
If there is a light in everybody, send out your ray of sunshine.
7.4.2010 - My babygirl, my beautiful mess.