The Old Chateau

Started by Sarah09x May 24th, 2009 11:26 AM
  • 763 views
  • 6 replies
UK
Seen June 27th, 2009
Posted June 23rd, 2009
2 posts
14.3 Years
Many of us have been scared out of our wits from the Old Chateau. I've decided to make a story about it.
_
Seren's dad, Charon, was going away for the weekend; he said he was going to Floamora Town to "relax". Charon trusted his Butler, Harry, enough to leave Charlotte with him whilst they were away. Unfortunately, Harry had other things in mind.
*
"Shoo! Go, you pesky thing!" Harry was waving a tea towel at the Rotom which continued to sneak into the house on various occassions. The Rotom glided away through the open door. "I say, that thing is getting on my nerves."
"Harry, we're leaving now. Seren, be good! I'll miss you!" Charon called out. Harry waved and shut the door. He grinned and walked towards the kitchen.
_
Yeah, not very good, but it's my first fanfic. Hope you like it!
My Ruby Team. Yeah, I haven't evolved
Shroomish. Pre-Evolutions rulee. :)

Misheard Whisper

I also happen to be a model.

Age 28
He/They
Nimbasa Gym
Seen October 3rd, 2022
Posted September 27th, 2022
3,488 posts
14.3 Years
Quite so. Was that a story or a chapter? I must say, though, it's far too short to be either. Try for at least a thousand words per chapter, probably more, although it's technically up to you. I can't say much more, because there's nothing to say it about.
Star Performer
~latest chapter: 11~
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Champion's Legacy
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New Game
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Misheard Whisper

I also happen to be a model.

Age 28
He/They
Nimbasa Gym
Seen October 3rd, 2022
Posted September 27th, 2022
3,488 posts
14.3 Years
Well, there are no hard-and-fast rules on how long a chapter needs to be, and it is of course up to you, as the author. But a chapter of this length really offers the reader no satisfaction. And if you say it's not very good, don't post it. Make it better, extend it, include characterisation and description, and LENGTH. I want to read a fanfic that makes me think, and keeps me occupied for more than nine seconds. I swear, that's how long it took me to read your so-called chapter.
Star Performer
~latest chapter: 11~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Champion's Legacy
~on hiatus~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
New Game
~the classic~
Male
Austria
Seen April 11th, 2014
Posted December 5th, 2009
56 posts
14.3 Years
It is very short, but it sets the story I guess. Make the next chapter longer, as has been said, but I actually like the idea of a butler desperately trying to get rid of Rotom, and him saying posh things could make it quite funny. I see potential here, now fulfill it :)

My fanfics:
Remembering the Horror. Read the adventures of an old veteran of the war against Team Rocket


And said Veteran's original trip through Kanto...
Rise of a Ranger