Kidspy (G8+)

Started by Mac807 May 25th, 2009 2:21 PM
  • 503 views
  • 1 replies
Seen May 26th, 2009
Posted May 25th, 2009
1 posts
14 Years
(This is my first ever post. And my first ever thread :P)

Kid Spy
Chapter 1
The wind felt cool on my back. And the pizza tasted good. I happily munched on my pizza, smiling at the sight of blue sky. I decided to go home. I skid around the corner, jumped over opened manholes and ate more of my pizza. I entered the door of my house, and sat down watching TV. Nothing was on, unless you like documentaries. Then bright words flashed on the screen.

LOOK IN THE CORNER OF YOUR COUCH
LOOK IN THE CORNER OF YOUR COUCH

The words flashed, and disappeared. So guess what Evan did? He looked in the corner of his couch. In the corner of the couch was a message in invisible pen. Evan scribbled it over in led, and the message suddenly appeared. It read:
Put this message in the Gizmo3000. It will show you the way to the base. Evan was secretly excited. He had never been on a mission before. All his family was spies, including his pet dog. Evan put the message in the Gizmo300. The floor underneath him suddenly broke into two. He feel into a dark cave. A shadow walked from the cave walls. It was his brother, Harry.
“Ok, Evan, I know you have never been on a mission before, so you’re only on TEST DRIVE level of spy. Clear?” Harry said to him.
“Clear! So, what do I test drive and where do I test drive?” He asked his brother.
“You will be test driving the StarDahser. Your ray gun will make it easier to make it through closed doors, cutting the doors into pieces. RCS is counting on you”
RCS is the spy company Evan works for. It stands for:
Really Cool Spies
Evan rushed to the StarDasher, buckled his seatbelt and was ready for blast off.
“Ok Evan, this will take you out into space. We are being attacked by ES, but they are attacking from space” Harry told him.
“So, I shoot them with the ray gun?” He asked Harry.
“No, this requires brains, like you have any…”
“HAY! I heard that!” Evan yelled back at him.
Before Harry could reply, the StarDahser took off.
Evan took of his seatbelt, and put on the space suit with in-built camouflage system. The camouflage system is a system that allows you to turn invisible. Cool, eh? Evan went to the popcorn maker and decided to watch a movie. Two hours later, he was out of movies and lying on the sofa, and decided to relax. Are trips always this boring? But that’s when Evan finally noticed the button saying SUPER SPEED. So he pressed the button. He was at super speed, but the rocket crashed into the Moon. Evan had no other choice but to step out. Nearby was a space station. It looked like a nice place to hatch an evil plan. He took out the Gizmo3000, and put it onto protect mode. A bubble suddenly appeared around it, as well as a bubble appearing around Evan. He was now ready to step inside.

Creepy thought Evan. He took a look in the station..
“BOO!”
“Woah!” The boo made him loose his balance. He tumbled onto the floor, and looked up to see who scared him. It was his brother, Harry.
“I couldn’t let my brother go on his own” Harry told him.
“What’s the real reason you’re here?” He asked Harry.
“RCS wanted me to come, because they thought they might need someone who is a GRAND SPY.” He told Evan.
“I don’t need help!”
“Says someone that couldn’t find a super speed button right in front of him”
“Fine, you can help”
“Oh, Evan, RCS gave you your codename. Its agent Firsty. Why? Because, it’s your first time being a spy,”
Evan just nodded and turned back to the way out. But then the floor quickly became a jail cell hanging from a chain. Then an ES spy shouted to them
“Your first trap being a spy, Evan Cosse, and your last trap! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” She ran off.
“Evan, this is the part where you need brains” His brother told him.
But Evan was completely clueless what to do. Lava started to rise higher, burning everything it touches.
“Hurry up Evan!” Said his brother Harry.
Evan then knew what to do. He pulled out the ray gun, and shot it at the door. But instead of shooting the door into pieces, it ricochet off the door and bounced through the small gaps in the cage, bounced off the wall, and hit the lock on the door. The door swung open. The laser was still bouncing of everything. Harry made a jump to the harsh, bleak, lunar, surface.
Evan was about to make a jump for it, but the laser cut through the chain, making the cage fall
Seen May 8th, 2010
Posted May 8th, 2010
80 posts
14.2 Years
Ooh nice.
I love the storyline although, I personally rate this 6/10. But thats just my personally opinion and don't mean to break your heart over it.

I personally don't like the futuristic image my mind built from the story as I read.
Ray Guns, Pet talks that are spies, They don't work for me.

If maybe you changed the time zone to closer to this day and age, I'd buy your books and read till the end. Hope I didn't hurt your feelings at all.

Please just look at this as a friendly tip :]
Ozzy~