Smile.

Started by s l u g May 28th, 2009 2:03 AM
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ShinjisLover

Seen May 11th, 2016
Posted July 5th, 2010
3,043 posts
14.4 Years
[quote]The most little things that make us smile,[quote]
Instead of saying 'most little', I think 'littlest' would've flowed a lot better.

The tight hugs, and longer talks.
I didn't like how it was just 'tight' hugs for some reason. But that's just me.

And i been thinking of you since you left today.
I should be capitalized.

Tonight, ill be holding your hand tight,
I'll instead of ill.

And whisper i love you with my eyes open wide.
Again, I should be capitalized.

Well, not much more criticism I can offer. I'm not a poetry expert; it's not really my forte. But I love how you used free verse instead of the conventional rhyming stanzas. I really hope I used those phrases correctly. .