Just a few minor things I want to point out.
The tip of his pinions almost brushed the shoulder of a rider mounted on a black ponyta, walking slowly and carefully along the narrow pathway. (It sounds as ifthe “tips of pinions” are walking! Instead, you could word it like this:
"The tips of his pinions almost brushed the shoulder of a rider mounted on a black ponyta, who was walking slowly and ...." )
I also noticed that you use a "subject + predicate" sentence structure quite often, e.g.
“He wore…”, “His crown,….”, “The swellow swooped….”, “The horseman was….”, "The tips of his pinions...",
Instead, try to vary these structures a bit: mixing in e.g.
preposition starters: “From the look of ….”, “Below him….”.
Or verb beginnings: “Pulling at the reins…”
Once you do so, your writing will feel even richer and more interesting!
I liked the first sentence:
"A lone swellow soared through the night sky." Nice short sentence, with a thought evoking image.
Apart from this, I also found some good descriptions:
"swellow flying higher in the sky under the pale light of the full moon, shaded by gossamer curtains of swaying clouds."
"Rays of sunlight shone through the green leaves and landed on the soil that was covered with a scattering of brown dead leaves"
" his thoughts were forever drifting backwards to the past"
"Small trees and vines sprang from the cracks in"
"so large and so lofty was it that"
"The freed silver blade glowed an unearthly white, reflected the sunlight, and gathered it into a single bright ray "
"revealing the realm of darkness behind it."
As you may see, some lines I quoted here are probably not even meant to be descriptive, but they are certain word combinations that strike my interest.
In general, you're quite good at setting the scene and painting a mostly tranquil mood all around. Yet be careful not to put "concentrate" too much description in ONE area (e.g. one bunch of paragraphs), or this really slows down the pace more than you probably intended to. It'd be better to "pepper" bits of description here or there to "colour the scene" yet keep the reader focused on your story.
Anyway, hope my review's helpful! :)