Snowpoint's Storytime

Started by Gordonator123 June 28th, 2009 2:54 PM
  • 526 views
  • 2 replies
Male
Somewhere.
Seen October 29th, 2013
Posted July 20th, 2010
51 posts
13.9 Years
Hi I’m Gordonator 123 most people don't know me, but maybe now they will and I decided to make a story of why there is snow in Snowpoint City, I’m not an expert so I hope You Like it!!!!!Also please reply and tell me what you think and remember I am not experienced but I think this is pretty good;)


It was a cold, stormy night in Snowpoint City; the wind was blowing violently with snowflakes flying harshly against the trees, houses, and everything that got in their path. In one of the houses was a small 5 year old boy who couldn’t sleep because of the storms,

“Mom I can’t sleep, I’m scared,” said the boy in a hushed tone, “Don’t worry,” said her mother in a tranquillizing voice, ”It’s just the wind and a few noisy trees, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”But the boy still was worried; her mother trying to make the boy feel better said, “Would you like to hear a story to make you feel better?” The boy eagerly said,”Sure!”The mother began Telling the story,

“Long ago there was no snow in Snowpoint City, it was a field with trees and the ocean beside; a hiker came and discovered this place and decided to live here with his wife and children, the father one day wanted to go to the top of Mt. Coronet,”suddenly the boy interrupted asking a question with great doubt, “Mom, what is Mt. Coplonet?”The Mother smiling answers,”Mt. Coronet is the big mountain you see from afar.” So the Mother continuing the story said,

“So as I was saying, the father one day wanted to hike Mt. Coronet so he said temporarily Goodbye to his family while he went to Mt. Coronet.”The Mother continued telling the story,.

“Months passed since the Father returned; his family and children were worried that he wasn’t going to return, eleven months had passed and the father still didn’t return; the family had lost hope.”The boy was still hearing with great attention, “a week later snow started falling, something that was never seen in that area, the family was shocked by this, so they gathered food, water and made their Arcanine give them heat. Two days later, the father returned telling them that something unbelievable had happened, he climbed to the top of Mt. Coronet all dehydrated and was almost dying because of the heat and so was his trusty Pokémon Aggron, but when he reached the top he was surprised to see that it wasn’t a normal mountain top, it was something beautiful, golden bricks were used as a floor, pillars we’re everywhere and there were two stones that brightly shined like they were emitting unimaginable power.

”The boy had forgotten all about the snowstorm and was eager to know what happened. The mother continued the story, “the father was so amazed of what he was seeing, but he was afraid that he wouldn’t live to tell it, suddenly a large, white, overwhelming Pokémon fell from the sky, the Pokémon was injured and suddenly began to talk, he said ’please help me, give me the orb up the stairs...’ the father almost without energy helped him and climbed the stairs and gave him the stone, suddenly the Pokémon regained energy and just by touching the orb the wounds disappeared, the Pokémon said to the father ‘thank you , I have never met such a kind human if there is something I can do for you just ask,’ the father only asked him to help him survive and that he can return to his family, the Pokémon said ‘I will help you get out of the mountain, I have also seen that you are almost dying because of the heat, until now you will never have to feel heat if you stay on the land you live...’the Pokémon gave a scream and clouds surrounded the place and snow began in that place. The Pokémon then said something else, ’I will ask you one more favor, don’t tell anyone about me except your loved ones...’ The father kept this promise until today and returned to his family.”

The boy a little tired but analyzing the story said, “Awesome story Mom!, but if the Father kept his promise how do you know about this?” The Mother answered, “ how do I know this, because the father had a daughter which was my Grandma.” The kid now tired forgot all about the storm, fell asleep, and now hopping to see the Pokémon of the story when he grows up.

Camisado

a therapeutic chain of events

Age 34
Female
Dorset, England
Seen March 17th, 2018
Posted January 23rd, 2013
1,032 posts
15.3 Years
Before anyone can comfortably read your story, it could really do with some line breaks. Unfortunately at the moment it's a big wall of text, and some people have problems reading it, like me =[

You need to separate different actions, scenes and different people talking with line breaks. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
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Male
Somewhere.
Seen October 29th, 2013
Posted July 20th, 2010
51 posts
13.9 Years
Before anyone can comfortably read your story, it could really do with some line breaks. Unfortunately at the moment it's a big wall of text, and some people have problems reading it, like me =[

You need to separate different actions, scenes and different people talking with line breaks. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
But was the story good...