What did he Say? What did she Say?

Started by Super Puppy July 27th, 2009 7:10 PM
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Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
This is a fanfiction that I've been writing over the last two days. I've actually posted it on Fanfiction.net, but I wanted to share it with you guys too. Read and enjoy!


Chapter One: Realization


“Oh Joy, my love, let us run away together!” Brock exclaimed. He dropped to one knee and extended his arms towards the slightly nervous Pokemon Center nurse.

“Um…” Joy searched for the words to politely shoot down the now-singing Brock. Thankfully for her, Misty interjected before the situation grew any more awkward.

“NOW CUT THAT OUT!” She thundered as she grabbed Brock’s ear and yanked him away. Ash, who had been merely a spectator until this point, took the chance to address the nurse himself.

“Well, thanks again for treating our Pokemon! I know they were tired after the long trip here. Weren’t you?” Ash directed the last question at Pikachu, who had pearched on his shoulder.

“Pika pika!” It nodded its approval.

Meanwhile, Misty was railing at Brock for the umpteenth time, “Don’t you have any self-restraint!? There isn’t a single woman you’ve ever met that you haven’t tried to score with!”

“Well, what about you? I certainly don’t want to go out with you,” Brock replied slyly.

“I meant except for me. AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE ME, ANYWAY!?”

“Erm…” Brock tried to think of something to say that could calm down the simmering redhead. However, he was interrupted by a huge crash as the roof of the Pokemon center had a gargantuan hole torn into it. The section of roof seemed to disappear as it was sucked into what appeared to be some sort of enormous vacuum. Everyone in the building looked up to see that there was indeed a large tube ravaging the center. The tube was attached to a large mecha. Apparently dissatisfied with the roof snack, the tube turned on back room of the PC and began to inhale the Pokeballs that were stored there.

Inside the mecha, Team Rocket tittered over the brilliance of their new plan.

“Ooh, this is our best scheme yet! We’ll have an entire Pokecenter of Pokeballs to give to the boss this time!” Jessie squealed with delight.

“Dis time we’ll be rich for sure!” Meowth agreed.

“I don’t know, guys,” James pondered, “what makes this plan different from the hundreds of others we’ve tried?” This outburst only earned him a bonk on the head from his teammates.

“Come on Jimmy-boy, dis one’s foolproof!” Meowth declared proudly, “Dere’s no way dose twerps can stop us now!”

“Well, if you say so,” James sighed dejectedly.

“Aw, don’t be so sad! Just tink what da boss will do when we give him all dese Pokemon!” Meowth began, “Why, he’ll be so happy. Imagine the boss on his way to the bakery for a loaf of bread. It’s a beautiful day, but da boss is in a sour mood. He can just call out some of da water Pokemon we captured and make it rain on his parade! Or, imagine dat he’s at a big party where there’s lots of dancing! And if he’s not a good dancer, why he can just call out some electric Pokemon and short out da music system! Or perhaps he’s in da mood for a nude unicycle ride –”

“MEOWTH!” Jessie and James screeched at him.

“Whats da matter?”

“You’re not making any sense at all!” Jessie raged.

“Where the hell do you come up with these crazy circumstances anyway?” James agreed.

“Okay look, let’s just go do da motto and scram!” He told them. Then he mumbled to himself, “Youse guys gots no respect for imagination...”

“Right!” The pair agreed, apparently only hearing the first part. Jessie pushed a button on the control panel of the mecha and a panel opened, revealing the Rocket trio.

Right on cue, Ash, Misty and Brock all cried, “TEAM ROCKET!”

Of course it’s Team Rocket, Pikachu thought exasperatedly, It’s always Frickin' Team Rocket you imbiciles!

“Prepare for trouble, while I eat an orange!”

“And make it double, when… um… er… you jerk…”

“To protect the world from devastation!”

“To unite all peoples within our nation!”

And so the motto went on. And as it came to a finish, and as Ash called forth his Pikachu, and as Team Rocket’s expensive machine was ruined and they were sent flying through the air again, and as Ash and Misty rejoiced, Brock was not paying attention.

Brock was thinking about Misty’s words from before the incident.

And he realized something.

He realized that there was in fact one girl he knew that he had never asked on a date.

He realized that if he were to prove Misty wrong, then he might just have to go out with Jessie.

And he was frightened.

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
What makes this plan different from the hundreds of others we’ve tried?

Was the only mistake I could find.

So, good things I found in your fanfic, were characterizations. You got the characters down pat on how they act, I could easily envision Misty screeching at Brock etc.

I also like the miniature parody from Pikachu's thought and James' use of the word "orange (or whoever it was).

The not so good thing with the fic however, that despite things won't change for the anime itself, I felt it to be somewhat the same as the anime (aside from the aforementioned tweaks). It feels reduntant anotherwords. However it does look like you are ebbing away from it, as you will eventually be continuing the fic, so I can let that off. ;)

So all in all, a good nostalgic moment, in which I hope you take over in your own original fashion. And it will come to such an ease since you have the characterizations down to pat.
Age 30
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In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Hey, thanks a lot for the review! But that "what" doesn't have to be capitalized because it's not the start of a new sentance and it's the continuation of a dialogue already started.

However, I understand your comment about the redundancy. I have a big problem getting the plot moving sometimes. Hehehe. I actually had to edit this chapter down because it was originally two chapters, but I realized a fanfiction with two chapters of exposition was way too much. ^^;

Speaking of chapter two:


Chapter two: The Question


“Hey, Brock?” Misty looked at her distracted friend, “You haven’t said a word since the Pokemon Center. What’s the matter?”

The trio was walking down the street of the town, looking for a way out. Now that they had saved the day, they were ready to go save it again in the next town.

“Huh?” Brock turned to her, snapping out of his daze, “Nothing’s wrong. I just realized that you were wrong, that’s all.” He smirked.

“What?” Misty was glaring at him now.

“Well,” he began, “you said that I’ve asked out every girl I’ve met, but there’s one I haven’t.”

“Oh really?” Misty was skeptical, “and who might that be?”

“Jessie!” He replied proudly.

Ash choked on the soda he was sipping, “Wait, you want to date Jessie? That’s crazy!”

“Woah there! I never said I wanted to date her; just that I’ve never tried!” Brock said quickly, shaking his head.

Misty’s eyes sparkled deviously, “Hey, why don’t you try and go on a date with Jessie?” She asked carefully, “think about it: if you guys were an item, then no more trouble with Team Rocket!”

“No!” Ash and Brock disagreed in unison.

“Come on! I dare you!”

“Well…” Brock seemed to be considering it.

“Brock! You can’t be serious!” Ash shook his friend by the shoulders, “Snap out of it!”

Brock wasn’t paying attention him, “She has always looked good in that uniform. Maybe it’s worth a try.”

“Yeah Brock, go for it! If you keep them from trying to steal our stuff every day, I promise I’ll never be mean to you again!” Misty encouraged him.

You fools! Pikachu thought, this will never work!

“Pika pika chuuuuu!” The Pokemon tried to warn them.

“See, Brock! Even Pikachu thinks it’s a good idea!” Misty misinterpreted the Pokemon’s speech and patted it on the head.

Ugh… It thought, shaking its head.


Meanwhile…


“JAMES!” Jessie shrieked.

“What’s the matter, Jess?” James looked up. They were in a small clearing outside the city. Meowth was napping, Jessie was fussing with her hair, and James was attempting to repair the destroyed mecha without much success.

“Am I pretty?”

James collapsed backwards, “Jessie, do we have to do this now?”

“TELL ME I’M PRETTY!”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes! I need to feel appreciated!”

“Then try not being a jerk all the time!”

“You’re pretty! Now stop all dis shouting!” Meowth yelled down at them from the tree he had been resting in, “I’m trying to get some beauty sleep!”

“Thank you, Meowth!” Jessie said, her voice dripping with syrupy-sweetness, “And don’t tell me what to do you furry idiot!” She tossed a stone at his head.

“Yeah, yeah…” Meowth rubbed his temples.

“Owww!” James whined, interrupting the argument.

“Now what’s wrong with you?” Jessie wheeled around to face her partner.

“I banged my finger with the screwdriver,” he complained.

“Quit whining!” She snapped.

“But it hurts!”

“Ugh. James, you’re such a woman!”

“Well one of youse twos has to be!” Meowth shouted down. Jessie lugged another stone at him and James hurled the screwdriver.

“Well dat’s what I get for tryin’ to lighten da mood around here…” He grumbled. Deciding he’d had enough, he climbed higher in the tree and resumed his evil slumber.

Jessie again turned to James, “And another thing –” she began, but was cut off by the sound of arguing coming from nearby.

“Hey,” James said, “I hear twerps approaching.”

“Yeah.”

The two of them crept closer to where the sound was coming from and hid behind the bushes.

“I’m telling you,” Ash was saying, “that is impossible because wombats do not have gills!”

“And I’m telling you,” Brock countered, “that there’s no way –” He stopped short when he say the badly-hidden Rocket duo watching them.

“Hey what do you losers want!?” Misty shook her fist at them. Suddenly, she remembered her dare to Brock, “Actually,” she changed her tone, “Brock has something he wants to ask you, Jessie. Brock?” She turned to him.

“Uh… well… erm…” Brock stammered, turning red, “hh the heck with it. Will you go out with me?”

“WHAT!?” Ash and James were in shock.

Jessie turned to James, glanced back at Meowth, and then finally returned her gaze to Brock. She thought about it.

“Sure. Why not?”

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
Oh actually that's what I had missed. When continuing dialogue like that, it is supposed to be something like:

"Hello I am talking," She said. "But enough about me, what about you?"

I hadn't noticed the comma in your part (after 'said').

Brock wasn’t paying attention to him

Some random small things I liked:

When Pikachu is misinterpreted.

I could imagine James whining about his finger.

Meowth's evil slumber. XD

He stopped short when he saw the badly-hidden Rocket duo watching them.

Lol well I'm not sure how forthcoming, Jesse would actually be, but that's okay. If anything perhaps you could have her feel more dejected by James, in the portion of when she asks him if she is beautiful.
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Hmm, that's all good advice. And sorry about the grammar/ spelling failures of mine. Sometimes I proofread too quickly. But I still like to believe I'm better than some.

I know Jessie was a little bit OOC in that last part, but I debated for a long time how to make her accept. I was trying to hint towards "she said yes because she's mad at James for ignoring her" but I'm not sure I made that clear enough. Ah well.

And thanks for the comments about my random jokes! Sometimes I just kind of throw stuff in there for no reason except laughs... so I'm glad it worked.

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
I know Jessie was a little bit OOC in that last part, but I debated for a long time how to make her accept. I was trying to hint towards "she said yes because she's mad at James for ignoring her" but I'm not sure I made that clear enough. Ah well.
Yep that is one of the harder things for writers to do. We might see it happening as authors, but not properly explain it in our writing. So in a sense, you would have to read it as though you have no idea what was going on. Just think of it like an essay where we have to explain the reasoning as to why such and such thing happened, or why it isn't false.

Sometimes authors do imply things however, and depending on the plot and situation and what is said, that can work, but sometimes the author has to assume the reader is empty minded. XD
Age 30
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In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
I suppose so. Well, the problem is, I'm making this story up as I go along. Sometimes I don't get an idea until after the chapter is posted. I didn't really think of linking the date to the jealousy at first, but it sort of seems to go, so yeah... hehehe.

Feign

Clain

Seen January 24th, 2023
Posted March 12th, 2011
4,293 posts
14.4 Years
That's pretty much what I am doing for my next chapter with the fic I am writing, I'm going along as I think it up.

Right now the set plan is that the character of the past is just having a normal day basically, but as the chapters fly by, it will come to fruition as to what will happen.

I suppose if you have some kind of linear idea...
Age 30
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In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
All right, now time for the next piece:

Chapter three: The Plans

Misty and Brock walked alongside each other down a beaten forest path, whispering about Brock’s upcoming date with Jessie.

“I can’t believe you actually asked her out!” Misty exclaimed, “I mean, she’s a psychopath!”

“A very beautiful psychopath,” Brock countered. “Besides, you dared me to!”

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!”

“Then why did you tell me to!?” Brock inquired loudly.

“’Cause it’s funny! Besides, you know she’s going to dump you eventually anyway.”

“Not if I dump her first!”

“No! You can’t do that!” Misty was suddenly looking devious, “You have to wait for her to break it off.”

“Why?” Brock looked exasperated.

“Because that’s how you win,” Misty answered with finality.

“Win what?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Misty sighed, “You have to make her crack before you do. Y’know, give up first. That way, she’ll feel really awkward around us and maybe Team Rocket will finally leave us alone! It’s brilliant!”

“That… doesn’t really make much sense. But if you say so.”

“Goody!” She squeaked. “Now let’s go get you something nice to wear on your date.” She winked at Brock, then turned around to face Ash, who had been stalking about thirty paces behind them and hadn’t said a word to either since they left Team Rocket. “Hey Ash! We’re going to stop at the next town to buy Brock some clothes!”

Ash answered her with a glare.

“What’s your problem anyway, Ash?”

“What’s my problem? Do you not realize that Brock is now dating someone from TEAM ROCKET! You remember Team Rocket, those people that have been our enemies for the last ten years! …Or however long it’s been in this world!”

“Oh, Ash, you don’t understand. This is an adult situation that must be handled carefully. You see, this is more of a rivalry then a relationship.” Misty shook her head.

“Whatever…” Ash turned his eyes back to the ground and resumed sulking.


Meanwhile…


“Jessie, you’ve really lost it this time, you know that?” James was fuming.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Jessie asked innocently.

“You’re dating a twerp! I mean, why Brock? Why not… I… what the… ugh!” James’ face started getting red as he turned on his heel and stomped off, throwing his hands in the air.

Meowth took the opportunity to slide up next to Jessie. It was clear that he had an idea. “Now Jessie,” he began, putting his arm around her, “don’t worry about Jim, it’s just his time of da month.”

“I HEARD THAT!”

“Shut up. Anyway, I see this as an opportunity. Tink about it! If we get close with dose guys, we can benefit! Dey always mess up our plans, but what if we’re workin’ together? We’ll be unstoppable! And we’ll get rich!”

Jessie’s mind abruptly turned from romance to cash. Dollar signs lit up in her eyes. “I like your words, keep saying ‘em!”

“Well, da other option is simply get da twerps to let dere guard down and swipe dere Pokemon when dey ain’t paying attention!”

“Even better! Meowth, you’re a genius!” Jessie cried. She hugged him tightly.

“Ack… the genius can’t breathe!” Meowth choked.

She promptly released him. Meowth took a deep breath, then continued, “Da main problem is dat twerp Ash. He’s totally against dis, which means he’ll never trust us! And of course dere’s captain PMS over here too…”

“SHUT UP YOU FURRY IDIOT!”

“I rest my case.”

Jessie looked thoughtful. “That’s true. If you can handle those obstacles, then I’ll worry about Brock.”

“Sounds like a plan. You leave dem to Meowth!”

Business completed, Jessie and Meowth shook hands and began to go about the task of calming down a very jealous James.
Age 30
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In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
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Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter four: Preparation

“How do I look?” Jessie squealed excitedly. She spun around a couple of times, her new dress twirling behind her. She’d put a lot of effort into her outfit for the first date, in her typical Jessie way.

“I dunno, Jess,” James mumbled. He was still adamantly against the entire situation.

“What, you don’t like it?” Jessie glared at her partner, almost willing him to say no.

“You look like a damn Christmas tree!”

“Well, NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!” She roared. But she herself had been questioning her green dress and large green earrings with her red hair. She just figured Brock wouldn’t care.

“You look great, Jessie!” Meowth encouraged, jumping in front of the sulking James, “Dat twerp will fall for you for sure!”

“You really think so?” Jessie was eating up the attention she’d been getting lately from Meowth. She started twirling again.

“Jessie, people are staring…” James groaned, burying his head in his knees. They were currently in a somewhat classy clothing boutique where Jessie was trying to find shoes to match her outfit.

“Well, I’m just so beautiful that they can’t take their eyes off me!” Jessie sang, waving at all the confused store patrons. Meowth laughed as James tried without success to disappear into the wall he was leaning against. Upon failing, he stalked away to observe other parts of the store.

“Oh, the date’s only a few hours away,” Jessie whined, “And I just can’t pick which shoes to wear!”

Meowth looked at the two pairs she was debating between. He didn’t really care which ones she picked, but he was impatient to get out of this boring, stuffy shop.

“Um… get da ones on da right. I like dose,” Meowth pointed at his selection; a strappy sandal with the highest stiletto heel he’d ever seen.

“All right! If you say so!” Jessie grabbed the pair Meowth had chosen and started dancing (yes, dancing) towards the register.

“Okay, let’s get outta here,” Meowth seemed relieved to finally be able to leave. While Jessie bought the shoes, Meowth turned to fetch James, as he had retreated to a far corner of the store to try on expensive hats.


Meanwhile…


“Ooh Brock, try this one on!” Misty giggled, throwing another pile of clothes into his already overloaded arms.

“Misty!” Brock cried, his voice muffled by shorts, “I can’t see!”

“That’s okay, I’ll guide you!” Misty shouted. She was full of energy and excitement as she dragged Brock all over the huge clothing warehouse she had found, trying to get him into every decent clothing item she could grab.

“I can’t breathe!”

“Oh, quit complaining!”

Ash watched the conversation with little interest, still determined to show how much he hated this plan. He stomped his feet everywhere they went and refused to talk to either of them. However, this wasn’t as effective as he’d hoped because Misty and Brock were simply ignoring him. By the time Misty was satisfied with the amount of clothes Brock was carrying, Ash’s feet and legs were sore from stomping. So, he found a comfy chair outside the dressing rooms and sat there trying to look furious until the pair had finally decided on an outfit. Misty then proceeded to half-lead half-drag her friend to the register, and Ash resumed stomping behind them. By this point, Misty had wasted most of the time that Brock had to get ready, so he had to run into a public restroom to change and stuff his regular clothes into the shopping bag. Misty spent the remaining time fussing with Brock’s hair and collar before shoving him into the restaurant where he and Jessie were supposed to meet.

“Okay guys,” Brock hissed at his friends, “It’s time to am-scray.”

“Time to what?” Misty asked loudly.

“LEAVE.”

“Oh, I get it. Come on Ash!” Apparently oblivious to his overdramatic anger, she grabbed Ash by the wrist and led him cheerfully out of the restaurant.


Meanwhile again…


“Meowth, you big idiot! How could you lose track of time!” Jessie screamed. She was running as fast as her ungodly new shoes could carry her towards the restaurant where she and Brock were supposed to be meeting in just a couple of minutes.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!” The cat wailed, dreading what was going to happen to him after the date was over. Presently, they reached the building and Jessie took just a few moments to straighten herself up before walking through the doors, holding her head high and trying to maintain the air of a princess.

Meowth stood outside watching as James slowly walked up, not having bothered to run after them. He looked as if he was about to say something when he was interrupted by the voice of Misty growing louder as she dragged Ash outside with her

“Oh, I get it. Come on Ash!” She was saying. She stopped short when she say James and Meowth standing a few yards away, staring at her. She waited a moment before remembering that they weren’t really enemies right now and greeted them cheerfully, “Hi James! Hi Meowth!” As the words were leaving her mouth, she got a devious idea.

“Um… hey, Meowth? Can I talk to you for a sec? I have a proposition for ya.” She grinned at him.

Meowth jumped at the chance, “Of course ya can twer— erm… Misty.” He ran over to her and they took off walking, speaking quietly.

This left Ash and James, standing on the sidewalk glaring at eachother.

“I don’t like you!” Ash declared.

“Well, I don’t like you either!” James shot back.

“And, I don’t like this dating thing! I don’t trust you!”

“Well, I don’t like it either!”

Suddenly, the two stopped fighting and looked at each other for a moment.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ash asked carefully.

“Well I might be, except I have no idea what you’re thinking, so I don’t know!” James’ voice grew shrill on the last part of that sentence.

“We gotta break them up.” Ash said flatly.

James looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up, “And I just might know a way to make that work.”
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
All right; next chappy!

Chapter five: The Date


“Meowth, I think we both know that this relationship is doomed to fail.” Misty stated bluntly, looking down at the cat.

“My dear twerp, I beg ta differ,” Meowth replied calmly. “Ya see, dis could be a benefit for both sides of da party. If we aren’t enemies anymore, den Team Rocket won’t have ta worry about youse getting in our way when we’re carrying out da Boss’s orders!” Meowth looked proud of his answer, but conveniently withheld that the real plan was to stab the twerps in the back.

“And what’s the benefit for us?” Misty asked impatiently.

Meowth looked shaken. “Oh yeah, I forgot about youse guys.”

Misty gave him a bonk on the head. “I’m not interested in your wacko theories! Think about my idea instead: If Jessie dumps Brock, which I believe she inevitably will, then things will be so awkward that we’ll never have to associate with each other again! Which is what we all want.” Misty crossed her arms and glared smugly at Meowth.

“No way! We need to become a team here! We can help each other out!” He was strongly against the redhead’s plan.

“Oh, now we’re a team? What happened to us staying out of your way?”

“Well, ah…”

“Get your damn story straight you stupid cat!” She bonked him again.

“Owwww… you’re almost as bad as Jessie!”

“I AM NOT”

“Like hell you ain’t!”

Misty took a deep breath. “Look Meowth, we may have opposing views, but maybe there is something we can do to make this work out. I think we should hint at Jessie to break up with Brock, and then we can be out of each other’s hair for good!”

“Not gonna happen!” Meowth crossed his arms and shook his head. “Dey need to stay together so we can become allies.”

“That’s never going to work! As I said, this relationship is going to fail anyways. Let’s make it fail in a good way.”

“No it’s not! Dey can stick it out for da good of dere friends.”

Misty suddenly saw an opportunity to beat Meowth at his own game. “Betcha they can’t,” she told him, egging him on.

“Betcha dey can!” Meowth insisted, taking the bait.

“All right,” Misty sat down on the ground and motioned for Meowth to do the same. “How much?”

Meanwhile…


“Soooooo… how ‘bout that weather?” Brock asked nervously, drumming his fingers on the table.

“Um… it’s nice… kind of chilly lately…” Jessie replied, trying her best to be nice. Both were secretly wondering how they ended up in this situation in the first place.

If only I hadn’t been so pissed off at James when he asked! Jessie thought hopelessly.

How did Misty talk me into this again? Brock searched his memories for the reason he was there.

“Well, um, how’s life? Y’know, being a twerp and all.” Jessie desperately tried to move the uncomfortable situation forward.

“Good. I guess.”

“That’s nice.”

“Mm-hm.”

A waiter suddenly glided into view with a notepad in his hand.

“Hello, may I take your order please?” He inquired kindly.

Jessie and Brock both jumped at the opportunity for something not awkward.

“What would you like to eat?”

“The smoked salmon, please,” they both said in unison. They stopped short and looked at each other, surprised.

Maybe we have more in common than we thought!


Meanwhile…


“Okay, here’s a thought,” James pitched. “Maybe we could try faking our own deaths –”

“No,” Ash said, his voice deadpan.

“How about we kidnap them while they’re sleeping, and –”

“No.”

“Well, maybe I could jump off a cliff in order to –”

“No.”

“Or perhaps –”

“No.”

“But you didn’t even hear my idea yet!” James whined.

“Well I know it’s a bad idea!” Ash was visibly frustrated.

“How do you know?”

“All your ideas are bad ideas!”

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with anything!”

“Just shut up for a minute!” Ash snapped. “We need to think about this and handle it carefully. Why are you in such a hurry to split them up, anyway?”

“No reason.”

“Riiiiiiiight…”

“Shut up, twerp!”

Ash studied James’ face. “You’re hiding something.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yep! And I’m going to find out what it is!”

James suddenly looked worried.

Oh no! He fretted. What if Ash figures it out?
Age 30
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In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter six: Manipulation


“You have how many siblings?” Jessie was incredulous.

“Nine.” Brock answered proudly.

The two had slowly begun to get along with each other over the course of their forced date. They were each finding it interesting to get to know more about the other. Jessie had told Brock of her past growing up in foster homes, flunking out of Pokemon Tech., being in the bike gang, and eventually joining Team Rocket. Brock told Jessie the story of Onix, his first Pokemon, how his parents left, and his time as a Gym Leader. He was in the process of talking about his siblings.

The conversation was interrupted, once again, by the waiter. “Are you enjoying your meal?” He asked politely. His voice was smooth and practiced.

“Yeah, it’s great!” Brock replied enthusiastically.

Jessie was in the middle of a bite of potato, so she merely nodded.

“Well, that’s good to hear.” The waiter bowed slightly and took his leave, gliding as if he were on skates.

Jessie swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths, obviously tired out from her potato escapade. “So,” she began finally, “tell me more about Forrest.”

Meanwhile…

“Oh, come on, it’s so obvious!” Ash was almost bouncing up and down with excitement as he proceeded to analyze James’ behavior.

“What do you mean?” James asked. He tried to go for innocent, but just ended up looking nervous.

“Come on, you know what I mean.” Ash nudged at James with his elbow, chuckling.

The Rocket was sweating, “No, no. You’ve lost me.” James shook his head and waved his arms in front of him, laughing in a terrified high-pitched giggle.

“Okay, here’s my theory…” Ash began.

“Oh, do I have to hear the theory?” James groaned loudly.

Ash ignored his comment and plowed on. “You’re in love with Jessie! I know it!”

James said nothing for a moment. He seemed to be planning his words. Ash stared at his face. The expression was unreadable. It looked a little bit like… relief. Ash was befuddled. Something was odd.

That’s not it you indescribable dolt! Pikachu hissed in his thoughts. That’s much too obvious!

James looked as if he were about to say something, but was cut short when he saw Misty and Meowth running towards them.

“James!” Misty spoke first, panting. “I need to talk to you!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Meowth shouted. He leap-frogged over Misty’s head and charged towards Ash. As soon as he reached Ash’s side, his demeanor turned from competitive to amiable. He put his arm around Ash and began speaking with as much of a friendly tone as he could muster, while leading him away from the other two. “So Ash, I have something I tink you’ll want to hear. A proposition, if you will. Ya see, I’ve come up with a theory about dis relationship between our evil ***** and your eyeless twerp. I tink it could benefit both parties if dey remain a couple. Your dear friend Misty brought up da fact dat it may not last without our help. So, I need you to talk to your friend and make sure he doesn’t let this end. Whaddya say?”

As Meowth was giving his speech to Ash, Misty tried to sway James’ opinion.

“So James,” she began casually, “Meowth and I have been talking, and we don’t think that this whole dating thing is a very good idea for our friends. You see I - erm, we - think it would be better for all of us if this just ended before it began. But I need your help. I need you to convince Jessie to break it off with Brock now so we can get on with our lives.”

“Well…” James seemed to be suspicious of the idea.

Misty changed tactics. “YOU’D BETTER HELP ME OUT HERE YOU BIG IDIOT! I’M COUNTING ON YOU!”

“All right, okay! Sure!” James desperately appeased her, not wanting to anger the fiery girl.

“Good, good!” Misty turned nice again just as quickly as she had turned nasty.

Ash, on the other hand, was not being so easily swayed by Meowth. “I don’t like it.” He was saying. “I think this whole thing is just a bad idea. We should just end it all and get back to our lives.”

“Come on, Twerp. You just don’t realize how good this is!”

“No. I don’t like it.” Ash turned his head away to signal he was finished debating.

“Well, well Meowth,” Misty said smugly, “it looks like I win!” She pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at him. “Nyeah!”

Meowth was livid. He did not want to lose this bet. Suddenly, he got an idea. “Hey Jimmy-boy, let me talk to you for a sec.” He walked over to James. “See, we’ve tought this over, and decided dat da best course of action is to influence dis relationship to continue –”

“But I thought you decided –”

“Well the decision’s changed! Don’t listen to dat crazy girl, just hear me out!”

“No!” James looked suddenly angry. He appeared to be having one of his rare bouts of self-thought. “I’m tired of being manipulated. You all can figure this out without me!” He turned and stalked off without another word, leaving the other three to squabble.
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter seven: Teamwork



Meowth was more than a little frightened.

“Now, come on youse guys, can’t we all just see dis my way?” He chuckled nervously, rubbing his paws together.

Misty and Ash stood over him, glowering. They were determined to get him on their side so they could break up the newfound relationship between Jessie and Brock. Meowth was stubborn, however, and still thought it in his best interest to let it last.

“Come on, Meowth! Don’t you get it?” Ash was quickly growing frustrated by the feline’s antics. “Everyone would be happier if we never saw each other again.” He was all too eager to get the meddlesome Team Rocket out of his life.

“Yes, Meowth.” Misty chimed in. Her voice was overly sweet and her eyes filled with malice. “I think you’d better help us out.”

“N-no! I don’t t-tink so!” Meowth stammered, slowly backing away from the enraged twerps.

Ash looked as if he wanted to say something, but before he got the chance, Misty scooped Meowth up by his hind paws and held him upside-down.

“Hey! Whaddya tink you’re doin’! Put me down! I’ll sue for harrasement!” Meowth struggled frantically to free himself from Misty’s iron grip.

Totally ignoring him, Misty walked over to a decorative fountain near the front enterance of the restaurant and suspended him over it.

“No Come on! What is dis? I can’t swim! I don’t wanna die I don’t wana die I don’t wanna die!” Meowth started to cry.

“Now will you help us?” Misty’s voice was cold as ice.

“Yes! Okay! Whatever you want!”

She immediately dropped him on the ground next to the fountain. He landed on his head.

“Easy on the merchandise.” He grumbled, rubbing his ears.

Misty put her foot on his tail to keep him from running off and beckoned Ash to come over and join them, then addressed them both.

“I have an idea.”

Meanwhile…

“Woah, I can’t eat another bite.” Brock sighed with content and leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah,” Jessie agreed. “I haven’t had a meal that good in years!” She squealed with delight.

They had both thoroughly enjoyed the delicious food served at the restaurant. The best part, they had agreed, was the desert. Jessie had ordered a chocolate brownie sundae and Brock had ordered a strawberry cheesecake.

“So Jessie,” Brock began, “I’ve been wondering this all evening.”

“Hmm?” She looked up at him.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Brock said, searching for the right words. “You’ve always been so… loud. But you’re acting different. You’re being… well, normal.”

Jessie’s eyes hardened. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“What? Nothing, nothing.” Brock changed the subject as he saw Jessie’s fuse shorten.

How does anyone put up with her? He wondered hopelessly.

After calming down, Jessie picked up the small talk about the food again. After a while, the waiter came over and told them that if they were all finished, the restaurant needed the extra table. The pair took their leave and stepped out into the cool evening air. Their pleasant date, however, was about to take a turn for the worse.
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter eight: Anger Management

“Now listen up!” Misty said with authority. “We have to convince Jessie to break up with Brock. I believe the best way to go about this is to simply play to Jessie’s ego. Like, tell her that Brock is not worth her time.”

“Well, Jessie certainly has a big ego.” Meowth offered.

But Misty only looked agitated. “Yes I know that you stupid cat.”

“Well ex-cuuuuuuuuse me!” Meowth was offended. “Then I guess I won’t tell you my idea.”

“Now Meowth –” Ash began, trying to bring him back.

“Talk to the paw!”

Ash sighed dejectedly. “Nice going, Misty. We get him on our side for five minutes and you go and ruin it with your stupid attitude.”

“I DO NOT HAVE AN ATTITUDE!”

“You kiddin’?” Meowth laughed mockingly. “You’re almost as bad as Jessie, and let me tell you, dat woman has issues.”

“You’re gonna get a one-way ticket into that fountain if you don’t shut your big meowth!”

Ash sweatdropped. “Nice pun. Did 4kids write that one for ya?”

“SILENCE!”

“Hey, here’s a tought.” Meowth interjected. “Let’s go split dem up before we all kill eachother.”

“Right!”

Meanwhile…


James wandered along the city street, wondering why on earth he’d exploded and left in the first place.

Ugh, now what am I gonna say when I go back? He wondered without much hope. Maybe I should just do what they tell me. That always seems to make things easier.

He passed a Pokemon center while he was walking. He remembered that his Pokemon hadn’t really had much of a chance to heal since the last run-in with the twerps. Not that they really needed to, since Ash just attacked the Rockets directly before long anyway. But he figured it was a place to kill some time. He was about to enter when he realized he was still in uniform. Not having any dresses, makeup, or wigs on hand, he just turned the overshirt of his uniform inside-out so the R wasn’t visible.

Why have I never thought of this before?

He meandered into the PC, trying not to look suspicious. The Nurse Joy there greeted him warmly.

“Good evening! Welcome to the Pokemon Center. How may I help you?”

“Well, my Pokemon are a little tired out from battle. Can you heal them?”

“Of course! That’s my job, isn’t it?”

James was slightly embarrassed. “Yeah.” He suddenly remembered that his Victreebel had received a particularly nasty blow from Pikachu’s Iron Tail in the last fight, and probably needed some kind of special attention.

“Here, can you have a look at my Victreebel?” He took out the Pokeball and released the Pokemon, who promptly attempted to digest its master.

“…ttenruB oeL !lived eht era sdik4 dna ttenruB oeL” James cried from inside the overly-affectionate bell. It finally spit him out. James shook his head. “Yech. It smells in there.”

Nurse Joy giggled at the odd behavior of her new customer. “Have you ever thought of training it not to do that?”

“Well, I’m trying to train it to eat Jessie instead.”

She laughed. “All right then. Here, let me have a look at it…” She picked it up and started checking it for injuries.


Meanwhile…



“What the hell are you guys doing here!?” Brock was livid. After spending a somewhat pleasant evening with someone who had used to be his enemy, he was not particularly pleased to step outside and find his friends suspiciously hanging round.

“Oh Brock, we’re just enjoying the night air.” Misty said, with as much innocence as she could muster.

Jessie caught the scheming glint in Misty’s eye. “You’re up to something, you little twerp.” Her voice was hard.

“We are not! Why are you jumping to conclusions like that?” Misty was still trying to act innocent.

“I’m not stupid! Now what do you want from us?”

“Nothing! Well actually, since you’re here, I would like to ask you something…”

“Ah-ha! I KNEW YOU WERE PLOTTING SOMETHING!”

“I AM NOT!”

“ARE TO!”

“SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!”

“Oh no. You did not just call me old.”

“OLDOLDOLDOLDOLD!”

“WELL, YOU’RE A WHINY LITTLE IDION!”

“Hey!” Brock cut in. “Stop abusing caps lock!”

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” The two redheads shouted back at him.

Brock was furious. This was not ending how he’d hoped. He had been planning something more along the lines of a hotel and wine.

“You two are giving me a headache! I’m going for a walk…” But the girls were already back at each others throats. So Brock left unnoticed.
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter nine: Run Away!


Ash and Meowth cast sideways glances at each other. Since Brock slipped away, the two of them had been trying to calm down the ear-splitting adventure that was Misty and Jessie. Ash doubted that they noticed that Brock had gone. Meowth doubted that they knew what the hell they were fighting about.

“YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER!” Jessie shrieked.

“YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!” Misty thundered.

“Hey, knock it off! That’s probably copyrighted!” Ash shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to calm them down.

They both turned around and faced Ash. “GO AWAY! WE’RE BUSY!”

Upon saying that, they turned back to each other and began screaming again.

“I’m amazed dat da two of dem haven’t lost dere voices yet,” Meowth noticed.

“I’m amazed that they care only about arguing now, rather than the purpose of the argument,” Ash replied.

“Maybe we’d better get outa here. I’m tinking dat Brock and James had da right idea,” Meowth offered.

“For once, Meowth, I think you have a good idea.” Ash nodded.

So, while Jessie shouted something about artichokes and Misty screeched something about shrubberies, Ash and Meowth followed the lead of their friends and left.


Meanwhile…


Brock was wandering aimlessly around, not really having any destination other then away from the crazy girls.

What was I thinking? Brock chided himself. How did I end up on a date with Jessie in the first place? He was pretty sure it had been Misty’s idea somehow, but he was much too lazy to go find and reread chapter one in order to figure it out.

His walk was interrupted by the noise of a familiar-sounding voice shouting what sounded like muffled, suspiciously-backwards-sounding gibberish. He turned in the direction of the sound and saw James in the window of a Pokemon center, or at least he thought it was James. It was difficult to tell because he was up to his ankles in Victreebel. After being regurgitated, James said something to the Nurse Joy tending the center and she laughed.

Nurse Joy! Brock thought happily. There’s a good excuse for going in there.

Brock made his way towards the center.


Meanwhile…



“I BLOW MY NOSE AT YOU— Hey, where’d everybody go?” For a moment, Misty snapped out of her argument to notice that she and Jessie were alone.

“I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIREC— Hey, you’re right!” Jessie also scanned her surroundings and saw that indeed, they were alone.

“Where do you think they went?” Misty inquired.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Away from here?” Jessie shrugged.

“I guess.”

“When do you think we lost ‘em?” Jessie asked flatly.

“Probably around ‘You empty-headed animal food trough wiper.’ Or thereabouts.”

“Yep.”

“So twerp-girl, what to you propose we do now? You’ve successfully scared away everyone.”

“Oh, I scared them off, did I?”

“That’s right, you did!”

“All right, look,” Misty was calm again, “we need to stop bickering and go find them.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jessie looked defeated. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“Always have to have the last word, huh?”

“Word.”

“Oh ha-ha. Very funny. You know, you – hey look, a coconut!”

“Stop being distracted by things!”


Meanwhile…



“Hi there.” Brock offered. He wasn’t entirely sure how to make his entrance, but figured it would be surprising and awkward no matter how he did it. He was right. James jumped at least six inches in the air.

“Oh, um… hi.” He finally replied meekly.

“So… whatcha doin’ here?”

“Nothing really. Hiding from the insane people.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Brock nodded, chuckling a little. He walked over and sat down next to James.

“Well, this is a fine mess we’ve all gotten ourselves into, not isn’t it?”

“Yep.” James’ sentence was punctuated by his rumbling stomach.

Brock looked at him skeptically. “Hungry?”

James nodded, wondering what Jessie what do to him if she found him accepting food from a twerp. Then he realized, probably nothing, since she went on a date with him anyway.

“Here, have a sandwich.” Brock said, pulling a riceball out of his back and extending it towards James. “Oh wait, that’s a doughnut. Hang on.” Brock returned the onigiri to his bag and retrieved an identical one. “Here.”

“Thanks.” James said simply. He knew he should be being mean to Brock and attempting to steal something form him, but he was too tired and confused to really know what he was supposed to do.

Brock spoke again. “Y’know, maybe we should do something to fix this situation.”

James liked the sound of that.
Age 30
Female
In a jar of almonds. Yummy!
Seen March 24th, 2010
Posted March 24th, 2010
227 posts
15.9 Years
(Cookie to anyone who can name all the Monty Python referances in the last chapter.)

Chapter ten: Conversation



“They must have gone this way!” Jessie insisted. She pointed east of the restaurant where she and Misty had been fighting only moments before.

“No, no, no!” Misty shook her head. “They went that way!” She pointed west.

“That’s impossible twerp. And just how would you know, anyway? It’s not like you saw them leave.”

“You didn’t see them leave either!” Misty shot back. “And besides, it’s much more likely that they went this way. There’s lots of buildings and lights to the west. They surely wanted something to do, so they would head into the city.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Jessie responded coolly. “They left because they were sick and tired of us and fighting and everything that was happening. It’s obvious that they went east, away from the city and into the forest to relax.”

“Ridiculous! They went west.”

“East.”

“WEST!”

“EAST!”

“Okay look.” Misty took a deep breath to calm herself. “We can’t keep fighting or we’ll never accomplish anything.”

Jessie reluctantly nodded in agreement. “How about we play rock, paper, scissors. Winner picks which way we go.”

“All right! Sounds like a plan.” Misty held out her fist, ready to play.

“On three.” Jessie said.

“One, two THREE!”

Misty pulled rock and Jessie pulled God.

“Wait a minute, that’s not fair!” Misty pouted.

“Oh of course, how silly of me. Not playing fair. Because I’ve never done that before.” Jessie’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh all right, point taken.” Misty sighed with defeat.

Proudly, Jessie marched forward, towards the forest where Ash and Meowth were headed, and away from the Pokemon center with James and Brock.


Meanwhile…


“Okay, I have a question.” Brock turned to James.

James looked up to acknowledge Brock’s comment.

The two of them had decided that the best course of action was to simply sit in the Pokemon Center for now and wait. They had abandoned the thought of fixing the situation, especially after Brock listened to a few of James’ crackpot theories on what might help, and decided simply letting it work itself out was the best bet. Neither was in a particular rush to get back to the rest of their respective groups anyway, whatever they may be doing. So, they lounged on the couch drinking soda (from which James had eagerly taken the bottle caps) and talking about nothing in particular.

“So, what’s the deal with the rose?”

James frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“Why do you always have one?”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t carried a rose around since season one.”

“Well, it still pops up from time to time. Regardless, why did you have it?”

“Well, I liked to leave them at crime scenes. It was kind of my way of, I dunno, mocking the police and whatnot.” James confessed.

“Oh.” Brock seemed interested. “Why’d you stop?”

“I didn’t stop completely. When ever we go do some random bank heist or something, I always have one around. We’re not always failures, you know.”

“I never thought of that. But why not us?”

“Well, there’s no need to expect any kind of crime scene around you guys anymore. It’s pretty much guaranteed that we’re going to lose.”

“Well, that’s not a very positive attitude.”

“Why are you encouraging me? We’re enemies, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” Brock chuckled embarrassedly. “Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way, huh.”

James sat back and put his hands behind his head. “Nah, deep down, you know you like us.”


Meanwhile…


“Great going twerp, you’ve gotten us lost!” Meowth lashed out at Ash.

Ash was busy studying a nearby tree. “I’m positive we’ve passed this tree before!” He declared to Meowth, who was now sweatdropping.

“ALL DA TREES LOOK DA SAME!” He cried. He jumped at Ash and launched a Fury Swipes, leaving him all scratched up.

“Ow, what was that for, you –” Ash cut his sentence short when he heard a rustling in the bushes near where he and the cat were standing.

Meowth heard it too. “What’s that sound?”

Both of them stood, ready for whatever was going to pop out at them. But nothing quite prepared them for the sight that came parading out of the bushes in their direction; a very proud-looking Jessie and a very bored-looking Misty.

Ash and Meowth were crestfallen. “Aww, I thought we’d finally escaped from you guys.” Ash said. He immediately wished he hadn’t.

“And what’s that supposed to mean!” The girls shouted, their heads growing.

“Now ladies, ladies please. Let’s all get along here.” Meowth stepped in, attempting to bring peace.

“Meowth is right!” Misty said. “We need to go find James and Brock and talk this over.”

“Well, there’s a problem with your theory.” Jessie countered. “None of us know where they are.”