1st main problem. I read your first paragraph, and in it you skipped from past tense - "It
was a dark night. It
was raining heavily." to present tense - "A woman in a cloak
is dwelling". Not to mention the fact that 'dwelling' means 'living', which I don't think is what you're aiming for here, eh? So I recommend changing that, and picking a tense to stick with without jumping around.
Autumn then removed her hood, she was light skinned, with a sinister presence in her blue eyes.
Runon sentence. This means you need to break it up into more than one sentence, such as
Autumn then removed her hood. FULL STOP. NEW SENTENCE. She was light-skinned probably needs a hyphen, with a sinister presence in her blue eyes.
I won't go through and point out all of these, but there are a few.
"Curtis, Maybe it will matter to you, but not to me..."
That 'Maybe' doesn't warrant capitalisation. It's not the start of a sentence, is it?
Oh, and this.
Prologue, not
Prolog. K?
after it's color.
So, you named it Crimson after it is color? That makes no sense. 'It's' is a contraction of 'it is'; 'its' shows possession, which is what you want here. That is, the color belongs to the Zangoose.
When he was young, he saw a Darkrai, it looked into him,
but it walked away. After we trained, I saw a Darkrai, it must be the same Darkrai.
These are both nasty runon sentences, so I recommend rewriting it, and a few others. You have a problem with these, and I'm not gonna pull each of them out for you. I'm not your beta. Speaking of which, I
highly recommend you get one. They come in handy for a beginning writer.
I'm not gonna go on, as I think you have the general gist of it. So in short, fix runon sentences, maybe get a beta (recommended), and actually take some pride in your work, because right now it seems like you're not putting much effort in.