Dark kindness

Started by Kishijoten October 8th, 2009 5:34 PM
  • 855 views
  • 9 replies

Kishijoten

CEO of trouble making~

Female
Hong Kong
Seen July 5th, 2016
Posted August 5th, 2013
1,175 posts
15.3 Years
Your so oh easy going and
you are being loved. Like by
everyone and I mean like
every single one.
You have long hair and I have
messy hair. You have the
beauty and I have the hatred
one. Everyone hugs you
while everyone glares at me
oh so silently with teasing
eyes that makes me cries.

You have the kindess
I have the anger
You own the beauty while I
own the dumps.
Everyone says they "love you"
while I'm the hated one.
You have awsome blogs while
I'm stucked with the awful ones.

Your like the queen of England
while I'm the hatred maid
of your beautiful home where
I hate.
You put on make up while I put on dirt.
Oh yes your kindess is quit
poisnous to me.
Being so nice throughout the
year as I get angrier as you
say all those nice things
about me and the colourful
scene surrounding your beauty.

Thus I regret everything the
nicer you are the worseir
my hatred get's.

this poem is about Midori chi and me.

>Current happiness level<
Low/Somewhat happy/Maxed out
My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4943-3337-1645
Art by: Midori Chi

Kishijoten

CEO of trouble making~

Female
Hong Kong
Seen July 5th, 2016
Posted August 5th, 2013
1,175 posts
15.3 Years
Am I right in guessing that English is not your first language?

This isn't a criticism, I'm just genuinely curious.
Nope, I'm asian. And thanks for the correction?. First chinese/english/japanese (kinda)
yes, english wasn't my first langauge. to answer your question.

>Current happiness level<
Low/Somewhat happy/Maxed out
My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4943-3337-1645
Art by: Midori Chi

Kishijoten

CEO of trouble making~

Female
Hong Kong
Seen July 5th, 2016
Posted August 5th, 2013
1,175 posts
15.3 Years
Yup that's right "You put on make up while I put on dirt". Is what I came up with. Thanks for pointing that out 22sa...I know what it means XD.

>Current happiness level<
Low/Somewhat happy/Maxed out
My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4943-3337-1645
Art by: Midori Chi

Kishijoten

CEO of trouble making~

Female
Hong Kong
Seen July 5th, 2016
Posted August 5th, 2013
1,175 posts
15.3 Years
Um, let's see. The poem has very little flow, but you clump your "stanzas" together and they are way out of order. Order is important in poetry.
Hm, alright from your point of view I suppose order is somewhat important in poetry.

>Current happiness level<
Low/Somewhat happy/Maxed out
My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4943-3337-1645
Art by: Midori Chi

Kishijoten

CEO of trouble making~

Female
Hong Kong
Seen July 5th, 2016
Posted August 5th, 2013
1,175 posts
15.3 Years
No, order is important in almost ALL of poetry. Go look up Diamontes. Haikus. Tonkas. Cinquains. They all have a set order.

I'm afraid you're wrong. It isn't in my view, it's the view of poetry.

Whether you like it or not. :3
So, what your saying is like half of the poetry are "suppose" to be in order?...well whether I like it or not I can always make the best of it. ;3

>Current happiness level<
Low/Somewhat happy/Maxed out
My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4943-3337-1645
Art by: Midori Chi