Found this over a year ago on a Chevy Monte Carlo Forum and loved it. I thought it was hilarious and saved it. I figured you guys would enjoy this love of muscle cars as well as I do. Who doesn't love muscle cars? lol.
"The Race before Christmas"
Twas the night before Christmas
and caught at the light,
Was a supercharged Monte
and no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try,
with this tiny motor,
To beat this damned Monte,
even with its big blower,
As the light goes green
and I pull like no joke,
The Monte erupts in
clouds of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that blown V6 gets traction,
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM's sing,
My rearview mirror blocked by my shopping kart wing,
I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining,
All I can do is keeping the four-banger straining,
In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying,
now a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third,
cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool,
like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver back off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing,"
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow…it will be a better night.
"We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging."
"Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you."
-Jeremy Clarkson of "Top Gear" and more recently "The Grand Tour"
"***damn all these women drivers! Take away all their licenses!"
-My sister on days she forgot what gender she was.