Not a bad start with this story - you have some idea of a plot going on and there's a few bits there which amused - always nice to see some comedy - but there stands to be some improvement to be made, I feel. Main points I feel you could work on would be description and proof-reading for mistakes - although you don't necessary need to for a light parody, IMO improving that alone would make the story far more enjoyable... but let's get to quoting stuff, shall we?
The Harrowing Adventures of Dave
Wouldn’t You Like to Know
Heh, amusing titles there...but yes, I would like to know. ;P
Dave rose out of his tent. He was dressed in a pair of brown corduroy pants (because honestly, what feels better?) and a plain navy shirt. He stood at around five foot seven inches with messy dirt brown hair. His deep blue eyes were comparable to the waves of Route 21.
Firstly, I believe 'dirt brown' would be better as 'dirt-brown', and a comma could go behind 'honestly' there, for a pause that sounds like should be there when read. The third sentence sounds a bit awkward as well, with the information moving from his height to hair - perhaps add in something after 'seven inches' to link the two parts of the sentence more smoothly...
You've given us a decent idea of what he looks, but more could be done here. Firstly, the description is listy - you tell us he has these clothes, his height, hair colour and eye colour (I'll add that although it is easy to tell you mean the sea with Route 21 and all, it sounds a bit odd in the way it's said - only a few paragraphs later we get confirmation that he does live near there...). It makes it feel less of a story that way and just more just a detailed list, and along with that nothing is happening while you tell us these facts.
A better way to convey these facts would be to spread them out, and in doing that expanding the beginning. Rather than telling us all of this facts in one go, have him do something at the same time (say, dressing himself up, or trying to comb that messy, dirt-brown hair of his. Maybe later he'd then look at the ocean (if he's by there) during which you can mention the fact the colour of it (route 21's sea and hence you'd also mention Route 21 and at the sam time tell us he lives near there) matches his eye colour. By doing this, you'd expand the opening and give it more substance, and be able to keep the story moving while giving us details about him and killing off that listy feel you have at the moment. We'd then be able to know more about th setting as well.
Alongside of him was he companion, an Eevee. Now this Eevee was unlike any other. It had a nickname. Dave called him Graham. Now Graham looked like any other Eevee and was really different in no way other than his nickname. Graham has been traveling alongside Dave for as long as he has been alive.
That 'he' should be 'his', and travelling in the vague chance you are not using the American English (if you are, it's fine as it is). =)
The joke was amusing here, I have to say. XD Would this be a jab at the typical 'special starter' things some fics may have? However, some expansion may help add to the delivery of the joke and make it more funny... say building up to it having a nickname by first describing the rest of it being normal and exaggerating a bit more (e.g. This Eevee was unlike any other in the entire world. Sure, it has the same amount of legs, eyes, ears and lasers as....(etc, etc)). Just a suggestion.
Dave was on a mission. Not only did he want to be the very best like no one ever was, he was after the criminals that had captured his parents. His journey started in the small town of Pallet Town. Dave, however, had no idea where he was going so he decided to stop at the famous home of Professor Oak.
Amusing theme song references aside, this was also given a bit quickly, and could be reworked into the previous parts (so you're giving the plot along with description of the character/actions - e.g. he walks to Prof Oak's house, while he thinks about his parents and so forth). Informing us of these facts along with actions keeps the story moving and improves the flow.
In addition, consider showing us more about Dave as well. We know what he looks like... but we don't know much else. For instance, how he feels about the whole matter with his parents, his personality, etc. Be sure though than to say 'Dave was angry at the fact his parents were kidnapped. He was an arrogant child', for example's sake, show use these facts - such as showing us his thoughts or an action by him that would indicate to us his feelings about his parents being kidnapped. If he was arrogant, have him act so to people, in the manner he walks about, etc instead of saying so. I'd suggest showing some of his thoughts - it's a handy way to do some of the above if you don't just have him say the facts bluntly, and will let us know more about Dave.
Dave knocked on the door of what he thought was Oak’s house. When a woman had he answered the door he was in shock.
The second sentence there sounds...odd there (the first he seems unnecessary there for instance, along with adding a comma after 'door' for a pause'). Also consider showing us his shock rather than telling us he was in shock - say, a gasp, and/or a step back, and him answering her in a quivering voice - that way you inform us that he was in shock, but in a much more interesting way. This'd also open up some room for more comedy in humorous descriptions/actions as well, by the way.
“Hello may I help you, young sir?” she had answered the door while wiping her hands in an apron, suggesting she had either murdered someone or baked a fresh batch of cookies.
Capital S for that 'she' there as the sentence reads as if it starts from there, rather than it being conjoined with the dialogue. Also maybe on instead of in? Interesting possibility there though - murder, or cookies? Or a murder for cookies? (Although how blood is involved with the mere cooking of cookies I cannot say...) =/
“Uh, yeah I’m looking for Professor Oak. You seen him?” scratching his head.
You'll need more before 'scratching his head' there - jumping into that is just incorrect. For instance, '...You see him?" he said uncertainly, scratching his head.' would do it, or something to that effect anyways.
“Oh yes actually I have but unfortunately he’s on a trip to Goldenrod. Wait let me get my son he might be able to help, ASH!” she had turned into the house calling out his name.
The dialogue reads a little too fast - if you read out loud it feels even more so. Try adding in some pauses to the speech with commas, hyphens, ellipses, etc to match how it would sound like when spoken (e.g. "Oh yes... actually, I have, but unfortunately he's on a trip to Goldenrod. Wait - let me.... (etc)). Turn that 'she' to She as per two quotes ago, and the word 'had' doesn't seem needed there - you could do without it.
A man, about as tall as the woman, came to the door. He was wearing a pair of jeans (idiot Dave presumed), a white t-shirt, a red jacket, and topped off with a red hat. “Whats up?” he greeted Dave.
What's, rather than Whats.
The listing here is not so bad in this case as Ash is, according to Dave, never going to show up again - it's less important to describe everything and everything about short-lived characters and the like, but nonetheless it wouldn't hurt to either negate to tell us the clothes he wears (after all, we all know what Ash wears - Ash is on of those characters), or doing a more smooth job of it (..g when mentioning his red cap, maybe he adjusts it when he sees Dave - that'd mix in a (small) action with the description and already liven it up - small things like make a difference).
With the fourth-wall-breaking narration, it's decent as it is, although if you have it be sure to continue with it, and maybe consider expanding on it as well - make us of that device there for added comedy in future chapters.
“Well thanks, I guess I’m off and will never see you again.”
XD The line sounds a bit off and could b reworded, but amusing all the same.
Dave left the house of the cookie baker and her son and set off on his adventure. He traveled through Route 1 and surprisingly only saw people, no Pokemon. However the people he say had given him tremendous advice. He passed through the Route unharmed, let alone unseen.
This flt a bit rushed, tbh - IMO I'd feel your story would benefit from slowing down and making more use out of those comedic opportunities there, or giving more time to set things up such as plot, or Dave's character. Maybe give some instances of what the people he passes by shout at him and use that for comedy, for instance? As is though, it just reads like you're in an awful rush to get to the end, and doesn't make for terribly exciting reading - what is there is vague and can easily use some expansion.
Generally you could apply the same stuff above to the rest - my suggestion is to re-look at this chapter and expand it - go wild and make use of what you can to make jokes - you've already made some decent ones, and it'd be nice to see more. =) That, and also look at improving the description of Dave and his character, etc so we know more about him, the setting, etc. By showing us details with actions and events, the list-like feel will disappear, the flow will improve and the writing will improve.
With the plot, I'm unsure as to why exactly Dave is on his journey to be a master along with saving his parents - more details on that would be good to see as well. How does Dave feel about this, for instance? Any specific reason as to why? (Or would he be just wanting to because, darn, it's the Pokemon world and that's what everyone did in your portrayal of it?) Does he know who kidnapped his parents and/or why? Without those, it's just seems like it's tacked on, and seems too vague. As with the description of Dave, etc, expand on this as well, I suggest, so we the readers have more of an idea what is going on. At the moment it seems too bare and rushed, but the above would go a long way to help fix that.
But overall you do show promise and some of the jokes there did earn a chuckle. I feel with some additions this could really be a neat read. Spend some time editing and planning, and maybe try reading a few fics around here to give you a better idea. (There's also some guides about the section, and if you want you can get a Beta Reader for your fic as well - basically someone who checks the story before you submit it to the forums - check it out if you're curious). Hope this was of help to you... Good luck with your story. =)