[Pokémon] Smile and Nod (one-shot)

(A/N: Well, I made a pact long ago that this section would get my virgin fanfic, and I think it's about time I followed through with that. This fic is rated PG/PG 13 for non-explicit mention of physical injuries and a bit of character angst. The better part of American cartoons are more questionable in content and this is the internet, so really; if you're reading this then odds are you've seen worse already.

Pokémon and nurses are not concepts owned by me, this particular character and story are. Also, because this is my first fanfic, please criticize. The more detail, the better. I really need to get a feel for what I need to improve and how, comment, criticize and generally review to your heart's content.

Credit to ScarletWeather and Mika for proofreading.)

Smile and Nod


"We hope to see you again."

I didn't use to think there was anything wrong with those words.

I didn't use to think there was anything wrong with what we do either.

The bug catcher came again today. Just like every other day. He goes out into the same spot of that forest every morning. Thinks he can beat some beginning trainer exhausted by the journey.

He never does.

"Heal my pokémon, please."

An impatient frown. He's in a hurry to get back.

For what? It's not like he can win.

It's not like metapod can even attack.

But it's not my place to say that, so I just smile and nod.

You have to be good at smiling to do what I do; it's part of the uniform. Something you need to put on to be legitimate. No-one trusts a nurse who doesn't smile.

Another trainer, stepping in with a confident swagger. Baseball cap pulled back, badge sparkling away on the puffed up chest.

No need to ask for his story; he's already telling it. Wide, exaggerated hand movements accompany the tale of his exploits. His daring. His brilliant strategy. His badge. His victory.

I respond with a smile and a nod as I take his pokémon to the room in the back.

A squirtle, bruised and battered, shell cracked. A raticate with a dislodged jaw. There are reasons you don't try to chew through rock-thick carapace.

In the common room, the trainer is collecting praise for his accomplishments.

I am a good person. I take care of sick and wounded pokémon. I make them better.

I have a plaque to prove it.

They said it was 'For outstanding contributions to the welfare of pokémon'. I got it from Mr. Fuji. He shook my hand and thanked me in person.

I just smiled and nodded.

A pair of trainers this time, staggering in together. Exhausted yet pleased. Friendly trash talk is exchanged as they hand over their pokémon. It was a close battle. A single move could have made all the difference. The losing trainer is loudly badgering her friend for a rematch.

I just smile and nod.

A trainer can lose their license. There are charges for it. Cruel and irresponsible treatment of pokémon. Use of pokémon for illegal activities. Illegal harvesting of pokémon or their organs. Encouragement to any such acts.

I give their pokémon an examination. A charmander, shivering at the poison still coursing through its veins, an oddish badly burned on one side. A butterfree with torn wings. A spearow, feathers ruffled and bloody. A mankey, its fur singed and covered in bruising. All out cold.

I care for them. I take them all in without charge and nurse them back to health, and then I hand them back. This is what I am employed to do.

A while later, I return to the expectant rivals. Both quickly seize their charges and dash towards the exit. The rematch is on.

Cruel and irresponsible treatment of pokémon.

Just smile and nod.

"We hope to see you again."

HawHawHaw!

It is the Mika who takes the first review~

First and formost, I really like the uniqueness of this concept in a fic. It's what made me actually read it intently the first time. Honestly, it's rare to see a fic from the view of an NPC like character. I can't fully equate it with a Bill fic but it's the same general idea, you know, of centering a fic around someone not many people center fics around. No hint of a journey fic here, no sir~

I liked it when I first read it and I still like it now. It's a bit short [I'm still not sure how you wrote something good that's so short] but aside from that, I can't really find anything wrong. It's a good first person representation and who doesn't love a secretly spiteful Nurse Joy? :D

If it were to continue, would the nurse go crazy and kill all the trainers to save the pokemon?

Awesome work! =D Its got a strong dose of reality in there too.

I really liked this one-shot. You got your point across really well, and I feel really sorry for that Nurse Joy :P I know exactly how she feels with all those pokemon coming in injured and beat-up. (I do that all the time in my game, though :P)
It could have used a bit more description. With a one-shot of this type, you don't need too much, but it's always good to use a bit. You could have extended some of the details with the trainers coming in.

Other than that, great job!

It's really good. I actually felt like I was Nurse Joy, smiling and nodding while thinking about all the Pokemon that are getting injured and put in my care all the time, only for their Trainers to whisk them off to new battles.

For the first time, I wondered if I'm treating my Pokemon right. I've had my fair share of losses, but I've never thought about how Nurse Joy felt. You made me see that.

This fan fic makes sense. I love it. Even though it's a short one-shot, I can't tell whether or not it's plot driven or character driven. It seems to have a good dosage of both. Kudos to you. XD

Mika said:

HawHawHaw!

It is the Mika who takes the first review~

First and formost, I really like the uniqueness of this concept in a fic. It's what made me actually read it intently the first time. Honestly, it's rare to see a fic from the view of an NPC like character. I can't fully equate it with a Bill fic but it's the same general idea, you know, of centering a fic around someone not many people center fics around. No hint of a journey fic here, no sir~

I liked it when I first read it and I still like it now. It's a bit short [I'm still not sure how you wrote something good that's so short] but aside from that, I can't really find anything wrong. It's a good first person representation and who doesn't love a secretly spiteful Nurse Joy? :D

If it were to continue, would the nurse go crazy and kill all the trainers to save the pokemon?

Click to expand...

Haha, praise is appreciated, hun. I like stories about the little neglected people myself, too. They're actually very nice to work with since they are already integrated into the pokéverse (sometimes in quite crucial positions) and yet never really explored in canon material, which leaves a lot of room for artistic liberty.

As for the nurse in question...nah, I think she's a bit too meek for that. She'd probably just snap and start dragging the trainers along to watch the surgery and whatnot while maintaing a psychotically friendly attitude. Then she'd lose her license and get fired and possibly institutionalized. :D

darkcowboy said:

Awesome work! =D Its got a strong dose of reality in there too.

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Heh, thanks. Bringing a sting of reality down on idealized canons is a guilty pleasure of mine.

Haruka of Hoenn said:

I really liked this one-shot. You got your point across really well, and I feel really sorry for that Nurse Joy :P I know exactly how she feels with all those pokemon coming in injured and beat-up. (I do that all the time in my game, though :P)
It could have used a bit more description. With a one-shot of this type, you don't need too much, but it's always good to use a bit. You could have extended some of the details with the trainers coming in.

Other than that, great job!

Click to expand...

I was expecting to hear about the length and description, yeah. I'm usually downright excessive in describing things (bad habit from my RPing) so with this fic I really decided to push my writing as far in the other direction as I could get away with and only keep the words I felt the story simply couldn't go without, so this was an experiment to me in many ways. Too many words would break the mood I'm going for here and kind of just stray from the point.

Is there any particular place where you felt more description was called for? Like, physical description, their actions, or their words or what?

SkyBlue said:

It's really good. I actually felt like I was Nurse Joy, smiling and nodding while thinking about all the Pokemon that are getting injured and put in my care all the time, only for their Trainers to whisk them off to new battles.

For the first time, I wondered if I'm treating my Pokemon right. I've had my fair share of losses, but I've never thought about how Nurse Joy felt. You made me see that.

Click to expand...

Well, I'm definitely glad my fic had such a strong impact. A revelation much like what you are describing is actually what inspired me to write this. Long story short, I've been levelling up all of the many pokémon I've caught, traded, and migrated for myself to evolve them and fill up my pokédex and needless to say, that meant a lot pokémon centre visits. It also let me see the phrase 'we hope to see you again' a lot, and it just seemed more and more awkward each time I read it. 'hope to see you again' as in, 'please do go get your pokémon beat up again'? The subtext just wrote itself in there. XD

Mizan Nix Zamnie said:

This fan fic makes sense. I love it. Even though it's a short one-shot, I can't tell whether or not it's plot driven or character driven. It seems to have a good dosage of both. Kudos to you. XD

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Thanks.

That's something I've been wondering myself, actually. It could be argued as being either or even neither, so I just settled for calling it musing driven in the end. XD

Is there any particular place where you felt more description was called for? Like, physical description, their actions, or their words or what?

Click to expand...

Well, here are some areas I thoguht could have used a bit more:

The bug catcher came again today. Just like every other day.

Click to expand...

You could have done something like this:

The bug catcher came again today, just like every other day. His face and clothes are dirty and wrinkled from days spent in the same forest, trying to beat that same trainer.

Click to expand...

Kinda tie in the description with the events instead of using separate sentences.

Also, you could add in a bit about the surroundings of the Pokemon Center.

I just smile and nod, behind the front desk I'm paid to stand behind. It's surface is dusted and shiny, as it always should be.

Click to expand...

You get what I mean? Add in a tiny bit of descirption, just not too much.

The other areas were fine, like this part:

Another trainer, stepping in with a confident swagger. Baseball cap pulled back, badge sparkling away on the puffed up chest.

No need to ask for his story; he's already telling it. Wide, exaggerated hand movements accompany the tale of his exploits. His daring. His brilliant strategy. His badge. His victory.

Click to expand...

It has the perfect balance of description and action.

I hope I explained myself well enough :P

I liked it. It is a unique concept, I think that description was done quite well in most areas. Like Haruka said, give a tiny bit of description to the trainers that come in.

Haruka of Hoenn said:

You get what I mean? Add in a tiny bit of descirption, just not too much.

The other areas were fine, like this part:

It has the perfect balance of description and action.

I hope I explained myself well enough :P

Click to expand...

Yeah, that's better. I just needed the clarification to make sure I was understanding you correctly. XD

You do make a good point, thank you. I'll see what I can do.

Vigilante said:

I liked it. It is a unique concept, I think that description was done quite well in most areas. Like Haruka said, give a tiny bit of description to the trainers that come in.

Click to expand...

Thanks, and yeah, I'm definitely going to get something done with that.