Um...sorry to ask, but do you have Astinus' permission to do this guide? Honestly, doing a Mary Sue guide requires you to know exactly what you're talking about and have experience analyzing different characters in other fanfics, not just yours. Heck, I'm not an expert of Mary Sues and I have been writing fanficiton for almost four years. However, some things you say are...to put in a nice way, not something I think is a Mary Sue.
Now, you starters, you don't know what Mary-Sue means. Well, it means an original character so perfect it annoys the heck out of everybody (except for the Comedy MS). Like Wesley Crusher of Star Trek: The Next Generation. (NOT THE TIME, SKY!!) Why does it annoy the heck out of everybody? Because the MS is so annoyingly perfect, she doesn't have a single human flaw that anyone can relate to!
It is true a trait a Mary Sue has is she is perfect and that no one can relate to. However, that's not the only thing a Mary Sue is. A Mary Sue is actually when the world/universe giving the character a break in life (or trying to ruin their life if you're going a darker route), change the rules of the world to fit them, the reactions to the character are illogical, and bringing too much attention, basically. For instance, a trainer able to go through Team Rocket without much trouble. That's a Sue because the trainer got off too easily. You have a fifteen year old beginning their journey and then you have other fifteen year olds beginning their journey too because you change the age limit. That's a Sue because you're changing the rules of the Pokemon world (the age limit for the trainer is accepted to be ten, or at least anime canon). The female is mean to the other characters, but they still love her anyway. That's a Sue because the reaction to her is illogical, and I"m not just talking about everyone loves her deal.
- Perfect to the point of annoyance (or a perfect version of the author, either way, BLEAGH!)
A Mary Sue doesn't have to be a self-insert. Any character not thought up well can be one.
- Everyone likes the MS in the universe the story is set in. Sometimes, EVEN THE VILLAINS. Who are not supposed to like the MS in the first place
Doesn't have to be like that. Sometimes a Mary Sue can have people that both love her or hate her. Actually, what happens is all the supposed "good" characters likes the Mary Sue and the supposed "bad" characters/villains hate her. If like that, then the author is basically showing, 'oh lookie here, my character is a pure angel so all the good people her and the bad people hate her!"
Also, it doesn't have to be everyone loves her. It can also be everyone hates her. Writers would do that to make you feel sorry for the character.
- Weird name. Weird pronunciation. Long name. Heck, her NAME says "MS"!
True to an extent if you want to make your character feel special. However, in real life there are people that have weird last names. *coughminesandacharacterfrommyficcough*
Instead, let me tell you that even the best of us (NOT ME) make the dreaded MS in one point of our life, whether intentional or not. When faced with the truth, we have to choose:
A.) Kill the MS and replace.
OR
B.) Rework the MS into a more acceptable OC.
Wait, I'm confused. You said you haven't made a Mary Sue, but then later you said you have and tried to change the character to make her less Sue. Or is it that I'm missing something here?
Also, I actually would just say kill the character and do a replacement. Once a Sue, always a Sue. You can't just ripped her personality apart so she is less of one. It's actually like me suddenly changing my character's personality because I don't like it. Just go for a new character and think over the gist of his/her personality before starting the story.
Actually, I would say think the story first
and then the character so that you have the character revolve around the plot, not the other way around.
Here's my story.
When I started out in the writing biz, I had an OC, Dianne. She was a cooler, more perfect version of me. I was sure she would be a hit with everybody. Paired her off with my crush (Ash, as you can guess), and everything.
Then I posted the story...and got a flame. Zero on ze constructives.
The flame was pretty bad. Whoever wrote it thought that a freaking bucket of water was smarter than me. Short version: Stop. Writing. Forever.
I was ticked off after learning about the MS. However, after a few litmus tests, I decided to rework her into a less perfect version, but still keep the Ash's-girlfriend aspect. So, she became sassier, more sarcastic, and way quick-tempered (which affects her battling performance badly--HEY WAIT A FREAKIN' MINUTE!!). In short, she became a little more like other Trainers.
So, my story proves that, like you guys, writers who have been writing for years made an MS sometime in their lives. The guide's job is to help you not make that mistake.
Actually, sorry to say, but she is still a Sue, or at least the way you describe it. You have Ash still love her despite the changes. I assume Ash wouldn't like your character if she gets too sarcastic and quick tempered.
Also, as for those Litmus tests, they're basically guidelines on basically common
personality traits Mary Sue have. However, just because the character has a couple traits here and there that doesn't mean that character is a Mary Sue. It's not just about personality. Again, it's also about basically revolving around the character and everything going her way.
Onto the Comedy MS, actually she would be considered a Mary Sue not by her perfect traits or no but everyone hating her. You already have established the world is trying to get her. I get what you're trying to do is a parody, but you're doing it wrong. Heck, I have done a Mary Sue parody and it went horribly. What I learned is the Comedy MS is not the right way to do a Sue. It gets cheesy later on. Best examples of Mary Sues are ones unintentional.
I'm sorry, but I don't think you're experience enough to give a good indepth guide of a Mary Sue. Not even I can do a guide either since I know a Mary Sue is not easy to explain to people. You basically just know if you see a Sue or not (even debeating whether that character is a Sue or not is a hassle).